A/N: Not much to say here unless it's enjoy chapter 4 and please review!
Chapter 4
Johnny's POV
What the...where in the world am I? Where is everybody? What happened to all of the extremely carefree; drunk and high people, along with the swarming music? Ouch...oh man...why do I feel like I was just bashed over the head with a hammer? God, my stomach...it feels as if its been training from the Olympics by all of the mixed up; sour twists, turns, knots, and leaps that I can picture it's going through right before my eyes due to the painful gap that's roaring inside of me.
I couldn't see anything. My eyes were in aching pain, too sore to open up quickly like they would whenever I heard my mother calling out my name, or my father's heavy boots stomping down the hallway towards mine, Jocelyn, and Cassidy's bedroom. All I could see was blackness, but after beginning to come to more, my system awakening slowly, I began to hear more than my heart heavily rapping in my chest. The faint noises...well, atleast they sort of sounded faint...of the loud music and the many more roaring guests that were at Buck's party began mixing throughout the air. Though, it came to my attention a little slower than I'd imagine after picking it up, that all of the noise was suddenly coming from downstairs.
I was in one of Buck's rooms upstairs? Yep, I must've been, because I began to feel my fingers taking their time to escape their strange numbness and twitch, and my limbs were resting underneath this warm fabric, on top of a smooth and surprisingly soft surface. But I didn't know where Sondra was, and I didn't understand why I was actually in one of Buck's rooms all of the sudden. The last thing I remembered...Sondra was going on and on, rambling and laughing about how she told me that we would find some type of alcoholic free drink to have. I was smiling at her, embarrassed when confessing that she was right, but after that...I don't remember anything else.
My vision was going back and forth from blurry to clear as I tiredly and achingly moaned to myself. My head felt as if it was splitting right in half. My eyes were sore, but I forced them to remain open until I could make out the figure that was just standing there at the side of the bed. It couldn't have been Dally; the figure was too short and Dally's hair wasn't that long. I began to grow nervous at who could be just standing in the room with me, but after my vision finally stopped going from clear to blurry, I was greeted with the sight of Sondra staring at me with complete fear written all over her face. Her pale blue eyes were red-rimmed and shedding tears like a waterfall, and she had one of the bed's sheets wrapped around her body.
At first, all I did was lay still and continue to moan in spite of my remaining drowsiness and the sickness that was staying where it was in the pit of my belly. I figured that my mind was just messing with me, or I wasn't really awake and I was truly in a dream. My eyes were sore as heck, begging to reclose so I could drift back off.
"J-Johnny?" Sondra stuttered, sounding very nervous and scared all of the sudden.
I knew then that I couldn't have been dreaming; it all felt too real to just be playing in my head.
My eyes, which were now half closed, shot back open, as if I witnessed my father coming at me with his leather belt and a broken bottle of some type of alcohol. The thought of Sondra's sudden appearance flashed back across my mind. She was wearing a bed sheet instead of her actual clothes...and she was crying so much that Buck's whole place could be taken down by a flood faster before anybody's eyes.
"Sondra...what..." I began to question in an aching tone what happened, but I shut myself up when I fixed my eyes on my girlfriend again. Positive. This can not be a dream.
"...I'm s-so sorry..." Sondra whimpered, wiping away as many tears as she could.
Sorry? Why was she saying that she was sorry?
I raised an eyebrow the best that I could, feeling weak and tired after all, and I hung my mouth open to ask why she was apologizing. Though, it wasn't long before I shut myself up to remember the bed sheet that she was tightly clenching around her body. Was she...
My eyes shot huge all over again; I don't think I've ever been so startled before in my entire sixteen years...and that's certainly a record for me. Was Sondra...naked?
"Sondra..." I choked out her name through my shock the best that I could. "Please tell me that you're wearing clothes."
Sondra bit down on her bottom lip, gazing anywhere but at me, completely nervous. "...Y-You have no i-idea how I desperately want to assure you that I d-do...but I can't lie to you, J-Johnnycake..."
I felt as white as a sheet, paling more by the minute as I took a moment to make sure that I caught Sondra's words correctly. After that, I slowly picked my head up from where it was resting on top of one of my arms, fixing my eyes to stare down at my chest. I could've sworn I felt my heart freeze up completely for a couple of seconds after I realized that I was no longer wearing my shirt or jean jacket.
Not saying a word, I slowly fixed my attention back on Sondra, who looked just as sick as I did, and she whimpered like a helpless puppy. A mixture of fear and plead for mercy was pooling up in her red-rimmed, pale blue, salty watered eyes. But I still didn't dare to speak a word, considering I was trying to talk myself out of this being real when I knew for a fact that it actually was.
Burning up with embarrassment, I dared myself to grasp a hold of the blanket that was resting on top of me, and quickly, I took a fast peek underneath. Just like I was afraid of, I wasn't wearing anything. That could only mean...Sondra and I had...no way...no, we couldn't have...no!
"Holy crap!" I gasped at the top of my lungs, startling Sondra to the point that she must've jumped no less than five feet into the air. I was so scared and confused that I ended up rolling off the bed and slamming down onto the hard floor with an echoing thud.
"Johnny!" Sondra sniffled, worried. "Are you okay?"
"No!" I took no hesitation to pounce back up onto my feet, but not without using the other blanket to hide all of my bare skin from the waist down. I actually wasn't angry; I was more frightened than anything.
"What in the world happened to us?" I demanded to know, already feeling the salty tears welding up in the edges of my puppy like eyes.
"Johnnycake, I honestly don't know!" pleaded Sondra, giving me that look of hers that she only had on her face whenever she felt like I wouldn't believe something that she considered serious. This was without a doubt serious!
I felt as if a huge blade went straight through my heart. I've always been afraid of girls, but after I started dating Sondra, I thought that girls weren't as bad as I thought. Though, I never imagined myself doing something like this to any girl throughout my entire life! I'll admit that I pictured Sondra and myself being together forever, but we've only dated for three weeks and we somehow gave up our virginities to each other? This just can't be happening!
"What do you mean, you don't know?" I questioned.
"I...I don't know!" Sondra shook her head, sniffling away as more tears escaped from her eyes, each one dripping faster than the last. "The last thing I-I remember is...w-we were just talkin' o-over our glasses o-of fruit punch...but a-after that, I don't r-remember a thing..."
I began to think about what words I could've strung back at her response, but before I could, a sudden thought flashed through my mind. The fruit punch...Buck's party...two trouble looking greasers serving the drinks...oh my god...
To my surprise, instead of feeling my jaw drop to the floor and eyes grow like you see in a cartoon due to shock, I felt my teeth tightly clench together, and my black eyes narrowed. I could've sworn that my blood was growing to the point where it was not only hot, but it was boiling over to a whole new level. I bet even my face was glowing redder than what Tim Shepard's did when Dallas got mad 'bout how I got beat up so badly and even got my scar from that one Soc with the rings that Dally ended up slashin' Tim's tires. I was actually furious; it took a lot to make me mad, especially to the point where I was at then.
Sondra's tearful eyes were huge, swarming with fear at my new facial expression.
"You are such a worthless piece of crap! The fruit punch was spiked!" I practically screamed with absolute fury.
Sondra's mouth fell open at what I said and what tone I said it in, but I went on hollering, calling her every word in the book and not giving her a single chance to speak up herself.
I remember all kinds of different stories that Dally used to share with me, Pony, and sometimes Two-Bit and Kitten. Whenever he told us about Buck's recent parties that he got rip-roarin' drunk at or he got lucky with a girl or two, he wouldn't ever dare to leave out how many times Buck has attempted bringing plain water, milk, or juice for his alcoholic free guests, but of course, whoever would be serving the drinks wouldn't stop to think about drugging any of 'em that didn't already have alcohol in them. Dally didn't describe what kind of drugs that others put in the alcoholic free drinks, considering that he didn't know, but what he did know and describe was that some of the drugs were more heavy than others. Whatever Sondra and I drank down with the fruit punch, it must've been one heck of a powerful drug.
"...Johnnycake, please..." sniffled Sondra after I took a moment to pause and catch my breath from yelling so much. I never screamed out of anger. Only fear.
"No, you listen here and you listen good!" I bellowed, cutting her off. "I told you that Buck's parties never had one alcoholic free drink available, but what did you do? You went on ahead and allowed us both to get drunk on whatever it was that we drank down with that so-called 'alcoholic free' fruit punch!"
Sondra glanced down at the floor and clenched the blanket tighter around her, causing her knuckles to start paling. "Please stop it, Johnny..." she squeaked, but my temper that I got from my old man wasn't finished just yet.
"Sondra, don't you get it? We probably made complete idiots out of ourselves since you never know jack 'bout what you're doin' when and after you got all drunk or high! I have a pretty good idea what happened to us here, but what 'bout before this, hm? And where did all of that lead us again? We ain't virgins anymore!" I lectured loudly, but before I saw it coming with my own eyes, it was Sondra's turn to shock me.
She flashed her attention back up at me, her lips now peeled back to reveal her suddenly grinding teeth, and her eyes were now narrowed, but I could tell that they were swimming with much more sorrow and pain than any anger. It was as if her new look completely startled me to the point where it knocked my anger clear out of my system.
I choked on my oxygen, shakily bringing it in as I got a hold of myself. Ashamed, I felt like crawling up in a ball and bawling my eyes out to myself. Did I...did I really just say all of that complete trash to my own girlfriend? I mean, I know that I was angry...but I couldn't help it. My old man got into my head, and he treated my mother with that attitude all the time.
It wasn't Sondra's fault that we got drunk...it was those two servers, Bobby and Fang. And it's not like Sondra knew what it was like to drink something without considering if it was spiked since she's never been to such a reckless party like one of Buck's before.
I could feel my eyes beginning to sting as more tears began to form, and I grasped another shaky breath as I allowed them to start falling and trailing their ways down my cheeks.
"Oh my god...Sondra..." I choked out my words the best that I could. The uncomforting anger began to vanish from her face, along with the pain that was in her eyes, and she began to look as if she was surprisingly going soft. However, the sorrow wouldn't leave her alone. I knew what she was feeling because I was feeling it, too.
Was I turning into my father? No...I couldn't have been...but...is it a possibility? Darry always tells Soda and Ponyboy that nothin' is impossible...can me turnin' into my father be one of 'em?
I was going to open my mouth and go on apologizing a countless amount of times, but before I could get a single word out, my stomach felt like it had just got done doing more acrobatics. Before I knew it, one of my hands flew over my mouth and I was racing into the bathroom, runnin' as if a million Socs were coming after me. I collapsed to the tile floor, resting on my knees as vomit flooded out of my mouth and splashed into the toilet. The burning sensation that scarred my throat and trickled out of my lips only had me blubbering even harder like the sensitive bawl baby that I was.
"Oh, Johnnycake...my sweet, sweet Johnnycake..." To my surprise, Sondra's voice was actually very soothing, and I could feel one of her hands rubbing my back as I kept throwing up all of the drugs into the toilet. As for her other hand, she used it to push my bangs up and hold them out of my face.
"Why are you..." I held back and tried swallowing the returning vomit, but it wasn't long before I coughed up more. "Helping me?"
"What do you expect me to do? You're my boyfriend." reminded Sondra as she went on tracing random shapes and whatnot around on my bare back.
I rolled my eyes to myself, finally being able to catch a deep breath after my stomach finally decided that it was empty enough.
"Some boyfriend I am...you might as well break up with me after the terrible way I screamed at you..." I sighed, just as Sondra stood back on so she could flush the toilet. Then she headed over to the sink and twisted the faucets around so water could come out.
"Johnny, don't say that, you hear? I don't even want you to think of anythin' like that, okay? I'm not breakin' up with you, so don't tell me that I should!" Sondra's voice was suddenly louder and firm, which had me feeling like I leaped in the air from it startling me, thanks to my pretty lame reflexes when it came to outbursts.
I didn't know what to say from being so stunned, so I only stared at my surprisingly still girlfriend with wide eyes and a pout tugging at the corners of my lips. I didn't want to risk harming her verbally anymore, and the last thing I need is to snap again somehow and risk hurting her physically. I loved Sondra, but my old man certainly loved my mother before they had me, Cassidy, and Jocelyn I bet. Why did Sondra still want to be my girlfriend if I yelled at her like that? I mean, I know that this was my first and hopefully last time blowing up in her face, but I still said things that were nothin' but piles of bull crap.
A short pause formed between Sondra and I, and I continued to silently watch her as she wetted a small piece of cloth in the sink. After she did that, she turned the water back off and got back down beside me.
"Johnnycake, I'm not mad at you." Sondra sincerely spoke as she used the wetted cloth to gently wipe my face.
My black eyes went wide all over again, and I gasped out with a stunned tone, "You're not? You should be, you know?"
Sondra shook her head. "Well, I'm not. Besides, everything you said was true, so why should I dare get myself furious at you when all you did was state facts?"
"What are you talkin' about? I didn't mean anything that came out of my mouth! I was just angry!" I was beginning to slightly panic on the inside. Did I really hurt Sondra to the point where she thought that everything I said was true? That wasn't the real me talking! That was my pathetic attitude that snapped!
Again, Sondra shook her head, allowing a frown to swipe across her face. "No, no...if it wasn't for me suggesting that we should've gotten a drink or two, we wouldn't have gotten drunk and did God knows what until we..." Sondra began to beat red, looking both ashamed and humiliated as she choked out the final words to what she wanted to say, "Well...you know..."
"Yeah, I know," I was just as embarrassed and ashamed in myself as she was. You could tell by how red my face was beginning to turn, even with the cold water that drenched the cloth touching my face.
"You have the right to be angry at me, Johnnycake. I should've listened to you when you said that this is one of Buck's parties and there aren't any alcoholic free drinks being served." Sondra said, but it was then my turn to shake my head.
"Sondra, I'm not mad anymore. I don't know why I snapped like that, but what I do know is that I may as well be the biggest jerk in the whole world for sayin' all of that trash to you. What happened between us wasn't your fault..." I sighed as I stood up from the tile floor and leaned against the sink, gazing at my reflection in the broken mirror. "It's my fault...I should've considered how Dal used to tell me, Ponyboy, and sometimes Kitten and Two-Bit different stories 'bout how often alcoholic free drinks got spiked here."
Silence filled the small bathroom again, and I kept my eyes on my reflection, watching my tears slowly drip down my red cheeks as I wiped some of them away. I waited patiently to see if Sondra would say anything back to me. Soon enough, I saw her reflection in the mirror too, standing behind me with one of her hands gently squeezing one of my bare shoulders.
"Like Two-Bit would say, it takes two to tango, Johnnycake." Sondra whispered into my ear, shooting her best Two-Bit like voice the best that she could just to fool around. Atleast that had a small smile spreading across my face, along with a few chuckles escaping from my lips. So it was both of our faults? Regretfully, my soft laughter died away and my tiny grin faded quickly after I remembered how I was no longer a virgin, and neither was Sondra. She must've been thinking the same exact thing, because she was now pouting away with that plead for mercy sparkling in her eyes again.
"What's the gang goin' to say 'bout this?" she squeaked as she placed her right hand on her left shoulder, and her other on her right hip. "Especially Dally? Man, I know that he's not going to hesitate to beat the life out of me..."
At the mention of Dal's name, my eyes grew huge all over again. I never thought 'bout how he would handle it...I never even thought about how Ponyboy would look at me after this. What 'bout Kitten? Two-Bit? And Soda? Are they all going to hate me? I mean, I know Sodapop slept with Sandy that time that she was cheating on him, and Dallas is somebody who usually doesn't care about who is a virgin and who isn't. Nonetheless, I had a pretty good idea about how he'd act if he found out that I gave up my virginity to my Regular girlfriend because we were both actually drunk.
"Well, the gang doesn't have to say anything, especially Dally." I softly spoke up.
"What are you talking about?" Sondra confusedly questioned.
I nervously gazed down at my folded hands, beginning to fiddle around with my fingernails. I honestly couldn't believe what I was about to say, but I had no other idea about what to do or how to help Sondra remain calm.
"...We just don't have to tell 'em about this..." I tried to make myself sound calm so my words wouldn't startle Sondra, but my tone didn't make her any less surprised.
I sucked at lying...never once in my whole sixteen years have I ever got away with telling one lie, because I stunk at it so much that you could tell by my wandering eyes, stuttering, or unsure tone. Dally was the best one at picking up lies, too, as if he even needed you to act at all. He was like a human lie detector.
"Johnnycake, you know that we can't lie to them," Sondra shook her head, regretful. "They're our friends, remember? And what 'bout my mini 'gang?' Since half of them are getting ready to go to college soon, how can I lie to them?"
At Sondra's words, my pout grew. I remember how she told me after the trail was confirmed that Jason was already moving back to his old home in New York, and he'd be leaving soon after the court. Not only that, but the rest of her mini 'gang' have returned to school and began getting some tuff grades. Their lives for college were approaching, some faster than others, but...what other choice did Sondra and I have?
"Well, would you rather tell them that we got drunk and had...it together?" I embarrassedly turned red and scratched the back of my neck at the mention of what Sondra and I did.
Sondra's eyes spread wider, and her face turned just as red as mine all over again. Eagerly, she shook her head.
"Then you can see that we have no other options to choose from," I shrugged my shoulders, frowning. "Doll, I know that you hate lying as much as the next guy, especially to our own friends of all people, but we can't give up that we lost our virginities because we were drunk or high or something."
"But what's goin' to happen if they find out? It only takes one of the guys to know before they accidentally let it slip sooner or later." Sondra pointed out, and as much as I wanted to object and defend my own belief, I knew that it was a fact.
I shook my head, picturing what it would be like if Dally was in my place. What would he do?
"Sweetheart, as long as we don't allow our nervousness to get the best of us, then we got nothin' to worry about."
"So..." Sondra bit down on her bottom lip and started looking anywhere but at me. "Are you saying that we're going to just let this go and act like it never happened?"
I felt as if I was beating redder by the minute, trying my best to hide my shame and humiliation.
"Not exactly...as much as I wish that we could do that, it's pretty much impossible. Look at what happened to us; we got drunk or high and we ended up having it. We did it, but it's over, and we can't take anything back."
Sondra's puppy like pout was only spreading more across her face, and she crossed her arms over her chest as she gazed down at the tile floor.
"Johnnycake, you don't have to paint me a picture," she told me in a sighing tone. "...Why did this have to happen to us? I mean, Dally hated me with all his heart when he first met me, nobody in all of Tulsa believes that it's right to just date somebody from a different class, and just as you and I began hittin' things off like pure gold in these fast three weeks, we ended up doin' something crazy like this..."
"The punch was spiked," I squeaked, keeping my voice absolutely gentle when cutting her off. "And believe me, this is going to be just as hard on me as it will be for you. Maybe we should just break down the days until we make any other decisions."
Sondra confusedly raised an eyebrow and fixed her eyes back on me again.
"What do you mean by any other decisions?" she questioned.
I hesitated, taking a real good look in her eyes before shrugging.
"You know, maybe we actually can break the news to the gang, but not today or tomorrow. We can wait for the trial to be over or somethin' like that, and if you want, we can tell the gang one member at a time, or we can explain it all together." I suggested.
"Johnny," Sondra merely grinned, her eyes then full of shock. "Unless you want Dallas to crush every bone in my body into dust, I don't think that telling the gang is such a great idea."
"Darling, don't be ridiculous," I stated, rolling my eyes at the mention of Dally. Though, I must admit that I was growing afraid about how he actually would take the news about Sondra and I accidentally getting things too hot and heavy. Dal was scary.
"I won't allow Dally to lay a singer hurtful finger on you. Besides, after everything you and Iris have been through in the past with your parents, I don't think that Dallas would have the courage that he usually always has to start a fight." I informed.
Sondra sighed and shook her head. "Johnnycake, you know how hard Dally's temper is. Let's face it, if we dared to speak a word about this to him, he'll blow a world-sized casket."
God, I needed a cigarette. I wonder if my old man had a familiar chat like the one that Sondra and I were having with my mother when they ended up having me, followed by Cassidy, and then finishing their days without birth control and protection with Jocelyn.
"Sondra, I don't think we can simply just tell the rest of the gang and just expect Dally to not know what's going on. He would find out pretty fast, considerin' that's somethin' he's just very good at. Getting every bit of news in Tulsa is just a gift of his or something like that." I pointed out.
"I know, Johnnycake..." Sondra softly said.
I took a moment to pause, waiting to see if she had anything else to say. Nothing but silence met between the two of us for about ten seconds, so I decided to break it.
"I don't want to tell you what to do, because a good and healthy relationship involves creating solutions when there are disagreements. I want to tell the gang at some point, but you don't. Don't get me wrong, that's completely understandable..." I began to lecture my girlfriend in the kindest and softest voice as I could speak in, but Sondra cut me off with just as much innocence.
"I never said that I didn't want to tell the gang, Johnnycake..." she said. "...I'm just afraid of how they'll react, especially Dally, of course. And what 'bout Charlie?"
At the mention of Charlie, I allowed my shame to swipe across my face, and I pouted. Plead for mercy flooded my black eyes.
"I ain't saying that this is a easy situation to go through because it certainly isn't, but every situation turns around at some point. How is this one going to turn out? I have no idea, I'll admit that, but what I do have an idea 'bout is the fact that you and I can get through this."
"But what if this situation turns out to end horribly?" Sondra asked worriedly.
I took a moment to take in a soft breath and release it, right before I rested one of my arms around her shoulders.
"Everythin' is going to be all right, princess. All we need to do is not allow our nervousness to get the best of us. Like I said, we can tell the gang maybe after the court, and that sounds like a reasonable amount of time to take this in and calm down." I soothingly whispered every word into my girlfriend's ear, keeping my own nervousness out of my voice the best that I could. After that, I brushed her bangs away from dangling in front of her face and gave her forehead a kiss. God, she was one of those main people who meant the whole universe to me.
"...I don't know 'bout after the trail since we don't know for sure if Charlie is going to get custody of me and Iris. The last thing we need is bringing this up after getting turned down by the court, but I'll think 'bout it. If Charlie does get custody..." Sondra paused and shrugged. "Then I guess that we can wait another day or two before ruining such good news with such a huge secret like this."
"The gang will understand that we didn't mean to do it, sugar." I assured, and I knew for a fact that they would. Well...except Dally, maybe. Sure, they would all be shocked, but they wouldn't treat Sondra and I any different from how they treat us now, I bet.
"...I said that I'll think about it, Johnny." Sondra said, and I understandingly nodded, trying my best to hide my sorrow from the thought of her being too upset to even look at me after what happened between the two of us. I couldn't live with the picture of Sondra being uncomfortable in my mind, especially because of me. I know that going through something that we did or something close to it would scar others for God knows how long, but Sondra didn't actually hate me now or was ashamed of me in any way...right?
I began to grow uncomfortable myself, but my uncomfortable feelings were coming from the new silence that had met me and Sondra again. Not knowing exactly what to say, I blurted out, "I'm so sorry that your fifteenth birthday turned into a complete disaster."
To my surprise, Sondra gave me a look that exposed how surprised she then was.
"Johnnycake, my fifteenth birthday isn't over yet, and trust me, it's nothing close to a complete disaster. If anything, believe it or not, this is actually the best birthday I've ever had...well, until we drank the spiked punch and...yeah..."
My eyes were now wide. "So...you don't hate me?"
Eagerly, Sondra took no hesitation to shake her head. "Of course I don't hate you, Johnnycake. Where would you get a whacky thought like that? I love you."
"...And I love you." I shyly formed a grin, feeling absolute relief overfill my body as Sondra through her arms around my neck and held herself close to me. Though, our hug grew very short when we both remembered that all we were wearing were bed covers, so we quickly parted, both of our faces beating red as we clenched the sheets around our bare skin like our lives depended on it.
"Um...I've had enough of this party," I spoke, hiding my embarrassment the best that I could. "How 'bout you and I get our clothes back on, fix our hair and the bed, and then go get Dal so we can get the heck back to the Curtis' place?"
"You don't have to ask me twice, Johnnycake." Sondra offered me a small smile, as if she was thanking me for my words, and she stepped up on her tiptoes just to plant a short kiss against my nose. She wasn't fooling me though. I knew that she still hated how we had to hide everything from the gang; for now, that is. I hated it just as much, but I meant it when I told her that we could pull through this together. I just hope that nothing gets in our way from keeping this a secret...
A/N: Cliffhanger! The more reviews I get, the faster I'll try to update! ;)
Will Sondra and/or Johnny be able to keep what just happened a secret?
What will the rest of the gang do for Sondra's fifteenth birthday?
What is Amanda planning to do in order to get Sondra back for 'stealing' Johnny?
Will Charlie get custody of Sondra and Iris?
Will Iris beat this new disorder of hers?
Find out all of these questions, including a whole lot more, coming soon to the new chapters! Please review and stay tuned for chapter 5! :D :D :D :D