Into Gintama

Chapter 2: Make Friends You Can Call By Their Nicknames, Even If You're An Old Fart

It's been a whole week since I've started living in Gintama, and I'm surprise to say that the humor has still been going on strong, even if it's not an episode. It takes a lot to not just bust out laughing at their antics, but I hold it in most of the time.

I also met Otose, and that old lady really looks anorexic. But, she's so strong that she can easily pick up Gin-San. Anime... Makes no sense even if it's real.

Anyway, today is just like any other day. We're just sitting here, waiting for a costumer to appear. As if that would happen though, I'm surprised I'm not starved to death by now.

Suddenly, Gin-San stood up. "Oi! The huge stash of chocolate I was saving has disappeared."

"What?!" I yelled. "You had chocolate and didn't share?!" I love chocolate, how could he do this to me?

His eyes narrowed, and I guess he decided to ignore me. "Whoever ate it, raise your hand now." He looked pissed now. "And I'll only kill you 3/4 of the way."

3/4 of the way? I think the human body isn't made of 4, but of 3.

"3/4?" Shinpachi asked. He looked annoyed. "That's pretty much dead. And besides, if you don't cut it out you really will get diabetes." Tell him, Shinpachi! Nag him to death!

Kagura ignored them, and began reading the newspaper. "Another embassy attacked... Serial terrorist bombings continue." Her nose started to bleed and she looked. "The world sure is a scary place. Mommy, Poppy, I'm scared." I'm actually scared of how easy it is to get a nosebleed in this place...

Gin suddenly grabbed her face to meet his own. "You're the scary one. Looking so happy with a bloody nose." KILL HIM, KAGURA-CHAN! I KNOW YOU CAN! "Were my chocolates tasty?" Really? I would suspect Shinpachi since he's so quiet.

"A nosebleed from chocolates? Puh-Leese." Kagura replied.

Gin suddenly exploded with anger and shouted. "DON'T PLAY DUMB, I CAN SMELL THE SUGAR IN YOUR BLOOD!"

"Woah, calm down Gin-San! You can't even get a nosebleed from eating chocolate!" I yelled.

"Stay out of this, brat! I know what I'm talking about, this pig eats everything!" Gin yelled back.

"Don't be silly." Kagura explained. "I just went in for a booger a little too deep."

I just sighed as I looked over at the sign above Gin's Desk. It's funny how it says mind your sugar level, but Gin is the definition of a sugar addict. They were still rambling on, wasn't listening. I noticed Shinpachi finally got in the arguement too. It's funny when they argue...

Suddenly, a groan was heard outside, and a crashing noise stopped the gang from fighting.

We checked outside to see what was going on, and I wasn't surprised to see a man did crash his scooter into Otose's snack shop. He was on the ground, but I don't think he was that hurt. Hopefully...

"An... Accident!" I didn't mean to sound happy, but now I remember episode 5. We meet Katsura in this episode!

Otose suddenly ran outside and grabbed the injured man by the collar. "HEY!" She began shaking him. "MORON! What are you doing crashing into my shop?! I hope you're ready to die!"

The man put his hands up and tried to reason. "S-sorry! I didn't sleep well last night..."

She raised up a fist to punch the man. "No problem! I'll make sure you sleep forever!" Man, is she always on her period? She really needs to take a chill pill.

We ran down the stairs to stop her from hurting him more than he already is. "Wait! Otose! You shouldn't do that to an injured person!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Hurting an injured man because he almost killed himself? How cruel." I mumbled.

She seemed to have heard me and growled. "Why you..." She grabbed me and started shaking me around. "I'll hurt you next! I'm not in the mood!"

"You two, stop messing around!" Shinpachi yelled at us, then turned to the man. "Are you alright? Do you need help?" The man gave another groan, and Shinpachi sucked his teeth. "This is bad! Kagura-Chan, call an ambulance!"

Kagura cupped her hands to her mouth to amplify her voice and yelled, "AMBULANCE!"

I sweat dropped, and Gin simply yelled. "That's a very primitive way of calling an ambulance!"

Otose finally let me go, and I picked up some mail off the ground. "These are mail, which makes you a mailman right?"

The man didn't answer me, he just picked up a package. "Th-this..." Shinpachi and Kagura kneeled beside him. "Please... Deliver this package in my place..."

"Why do you want that package delivered so badly?" I asked.

"I... I think it's important." He gave Gin the package. "If I fail to deliver this, I might lose my job..."

That excuse makes no sense. If he really was so determined to get the package to where ever, I don't think he would have crashed. Am I the only one thinking straight here?

"Please... I beg you...!" The man choked out, before collapsing on the ground, unconscious. We all gave each other looks, before silently agreeing to accept the request. We are an Odd Jobs after all.

Later...

We were now standing in front of this super big mansion. And... Yeah. It was amazing. It was the biggest thing I've ever seen, and probably will ever see if I don't survive what was going to happen next...

"Are you sure this is the place?" Gin asked.

"Yup." Kagura replied.

"An embassy..." Shinpachi muttered. "This is the Inui Embassy!"

"What are the Inui?" I asked Shinpachi. I really did forget.

"The Inui from the Dog Star system were the first to come to earth, Len-Kun." Shinpachi explained. I could see the man sitting down behind Shinpachi, and smiled. That is Katsura, if I'm not mistaken. I wonder how his face looks in the real world...

"You're right, Shinpachi-Kun." Gin said. "They're the scary ones who fired canons at the Edo Castle and forced the country to open up..." They all stared at the embassy again, while I slowly backed up. I needed to get a little head start if I didn't want to be killed. "This is a nasty place, that's for sure..."

"Len-Kun? Why are you backing up?" WHY KAGURA?! WHY?!

"Uh... Um... I wanted to get a better look at the place..." I replied shakily.

Before they could respond however, this... I can't explain it! Imagine a dog, that was as tall as a man and had on a suit. It also had a weapon in it's hand.

The dog man walked up to us. "Oi! What the hell are you four doing here?!" You don't see Katsura sitting over there just chillin'? "Do you want to get eaten?" Do you want to get shot?

Shinpachi looked totally terrified. "Well, we were just asked to send in this package!"

"Kagura, give him the package." Gin droned. He didn't look scared at all.

"Come 'ere little doggy." She crouched down and put the package beside her. "I'll give you some pickled seaweed."

I held in a BUNCH of laughter as Gin smacked her in the head and held out the package. "Hehe... Here it is."

The dog looked at Gin questionably. "I didn't here about a package today. Lately we've been worried about bombings. Security's tight. Go home."

Gin tried to give the package to the dog again. "There might be dog food inside. Enjoy." Ooh!

The dog wasn't amused. "Who would eat crap like that?!" He smacked the package out of Gin's hand, and it flew in the air.

Ah, this is my cue to step back faster.

The package landed in front of the yard, and exploded. Yes, exploded. And it wasn't a small explosion, it was big. It left a huge crater in the ground.

Unfortunately, I couldn't see the expression on their faces because I was behind them. But I was close enough to hear Gin say, "I don't know what just happened, but I know what we're going to do next..." They swiftly turned around and started to run. "Run!"

"Hey, Wait!" The dog yelled, and grabbed Shinpachi's arm. Shinpachi then grabbed Gin's arm, and Gin then grabbed Kagura's arm. Kagura reached for me, but I jumped back quickly, avoiding her hand.

"Shinpachi!" Gin yelled. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Let go!"

"No way!" Shinpachi screeched. "They're not taking me alone!"

"Can't you say something like, 'Leave me. Just go on ahead?'" Gin tried to reason.

"Please, Len-Kun! Try to pull me! Please!" Kagura yelled.

"N-no thank you..." I held in a laugh.

Kagura tried to pull away harder from Gin's grasp. "Just think about me and go to the next world!"

"Shut up!" Gin yelled. "I'm taking you with me!"

Suddenly, a pack of dog guards ran out the embassy with spheres. "Hey! What's going on here?!"

Shinpachi screamed, "Ah! A bunch of dog guards just came out!"

"Don't state the obvious, Shinpachi-San..." I droned.

"Shut up and help us!" Shinpachi yelled, infuriated.

The dog guards were getting closer and closer, and Katsura wasn't doing anything! Was he going to help at all? What if... What if he just walks away?! What can I do?! I'm useless...

Although, my worries were all for nothing. Katsura suddenly got up and started jumping on the dog guard's heads. It's one thing in Anime, but in real life it's kind of... Amazing!

He jumped on the guard that was holding Shinpachi, and it was knocked out instantly. Wow... Couldn't Shinpachi just, like, punch the guard? Meh... Anime...

"Time to go.." Katsura showed his face, and Gin gasped. "Gintoki."

"You're Zura!" Gin exclaimed. He really was shocked. "Kotaro Zura!"

Zura... I mean Katsura uppercutted Gin in anger. "It's not Zura! It's Katsura!"

Gin fell on the ground, blood streaming from his mouth.

"You mad?" I asked as I ran up to them. I felt awkward for not helping, but I don't think they'll hold it against me. "He just forgot your name. Although... Zura and Katsura... Meh, it kind of works."

"It does not work! Gin knows I hate that nickname, he's just teasing me." Zura... I mean Katsura explained.

"You bastard!" Oh, you're finally up, Gin-San? "That's no reason to hit me! It's been forever since we last met!" Katsura didn't respond, and Gin stood up. "Anyway, what are you doing here?"

Katsura didn't have enough time to respond, because the dogs were back on their feet. Uh-oh... "How long are you going to continue talking?!" The dog exclaimed, before they began running towards us. I hope I can run as fast as the people beside me...

"Save it, Gintoki." Katsura said, as we all began to run away. They chased us, of course, and it was an all out sprint to not get killed.

For me, anyway. I knew they would survive, but my survival isn't guaranteed. I'm praying I won't get caught, because I'm doubting they would save me...

A few minutes later we made it to... I guess their secret base. We were currently looking at the news... For some odd reason...

"Another Amanto embassy has been bombed." The announcer... Well... Announced? "Our reporter Ketsuno is on the scene! Ketsuno! Ana!"

"Yes! This is Ketsuno at the scene!" A gorgeous lady appeared on the screen. Her beautiful purple hair slightly blowed in the wind. Her smile was amazing... Do I have a crush on her too? Well... Who wouldn't?! "This time, the despicable bomber has gone after the Dog Star embassy. Luckily, no one has been hurt or injured." Suddenly, she looked surprised. "Oh! We've just received word that the alleged terrorists were caught on tape by a security camera." ...A security camera? What?

Suddenly, our picture was shown on the screen. Gin looked like he regularly does, Kagura looked shocked, and Shinpachi... Hehehehe...

Oh! I was in the background! I was looking shocked too, it's awesome they got my picture too!

"Ah... You can see them very clearly here!" Ketsuno said, amazed.

"You can see us very clearly..." Shinpachi sweatdropped.

"I'm still wondering where they got the picture from..." I said, looking bored. I don't think anyone I care about is going to get hurt this episode, so why should I be serious about this? I'll just act casual, and try not to get killed myself.

Shinpachi ignored me, freaking out. "What'll I do? Sis is going to kill me... "

"Don't worry, Shinpachi-San." I patted his back. "I'm sure if you just explain everything, she'll understand."

"I'm on TV, I've got to call home." Kagura munched on some sort of snack.

"Do you think this is all some sort of conspiracy?" Shinpachi asked Gin. "How did we even get into this sort of mess? Meeting Katsura was the only good thing out of this..."

"It was nice of him to hide us inside during all of this." I added. "Isn't he a friend of yours, Gin-San?" He nodded slightly. "What kind of person is he?"

"Uhh... A terrorist." He said bluntly.

"Eh!" Shinpachi froze.

"Stop using that word, Gintoki." We all turned to see Katsura standing in the room with his group of terrorist. "We're not terrorist, we're Freedom Fighters!" His face suddenly darkened. "The Amanto are pests that pollute this country with their presence. We must force them out and rebuild this country into the land of samurai once more! We're expelling foreigners in order to protect this country!"

"Foreigner expulsion patriotism?!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"That's a big word, Shinpachi-San." I deadpanned.

"What's that mean?" Kagura asked.

"Foreigner expulsion is an ideology that sprang up due to the Amanto attacks 20 years ago. They tried to drive out the aliens." Shinpachi explained. "The Amanto pressured us to open our doors. Under that threat, the samurai rose up together to try to chase them out of Edo." Shinpachi paused. I guess to add drama... "Confronted by Amanto's immense power, the government surrendered. They abandoned the samurai and signed an unfair treaty with the Amanto. The Amanto had control over the core of the government, so they took away the samurai's swords... And made them powerless." He gulped. Was this ending soon? I'm tired of his rambling. "I heard that afterwards many of the exclusionist were purged."

"It seems we've been manipulated." Gin said.

"What do you mean? By who?" I asked. I had to act clueless sometimes...

He pointed to a man who looked... Familiar... "Isn't that right, Mr. Postman?"

Kagura gasped. "He's right! I remember those bushy brows!"

Oh! How could I forget... That's weird...

"Yeah... His bushy brows are like Rock Lee's from Naruto!" I exclaimed.

"...What, Len-Kun?" Shinpachi sweatdropped.

"It's all your doing, isn't it, Katsura?" Gin asked. "All these recent attacks that have everyone in panic."

Katsura closed his eyes. "There was something I had to get my hands on, even if it meant dirtying them." He opened his eyes and raised a sword up. Wait... WHERE DID HE GET THAT SWORD FROM?! "Gintoki, will you take up your sword alongside mine in order to rebuild this corrupted country?" He asked. "Will you lend me the strength that made you feared as the White Knight?"

I looked at Gin, and he had that boring look on his face. Shinpachi looked concerned and Kagura just ate that snack... HOW LONG IS SHE GOING TO EAT THAT?!

"His white hair was soaked in blood. Bounding into battle was a vision of a demon knight in full glory." I think Katsura just had a flashback... Meh. "It was he who fought like an avenging angel in the war against the Amanto. He was like a God of war who was feared not only by his enemies but by his own people. Gintoki Sakata..." Gin was digging in his ears, looking away. "You should join us, once again, to fight against the Amanto."

"Gin-San... You were involved in the Foreigner Expulsion War too?" Shinpachi asked.

"He disappeared after the battle." Katsura answered. "I never really knew what was going on in your head."

"I like a nice loud fight..." Gin finally said. "But I hate morbid crap like Terrorism." He looked straight at Katsura. "The war is over. How long are going to go on and on? What are you, my mother-in-law?"

"Are you stupid?! Mothers always pester their sons. No one likes you because your heart isn't big enough to embrace." Katsura retorted.

"You little... If I didn't have naturally wavy hair I would definitely be popular with the girls. I think."

...What are y'all talking about now?! AND STOP MUNCHING SO LOUD, KAGURA!

"There you go, blaming everything on your natural wavy hair. Pathetic."

"Who's pathetic? People use their complexes as springboards to greatness."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Shinpachi and I yelled.

"Our fight is far from over." Katsura said. "Inside, you're still fighting, Gintoki."

Katsura kept talking, and to be honest... I'm sick of it. When is the Shensingumi going to come in, gosh... I'll just tune him out.

They kept talking, until finally...

The door was kicked open, and everyone gasped.

"You're under arrest!" Hijikata yelled. "Come quietly, you terrorist scum!"

To be honest, I'm pretty scared now. There was like... 20 Shensingumi members against... Us. And I just figured out they had the door blocked... How are we going to escape?!

W-would they kill a 12 year old?!

"I-It's the Shensingumi!" The minor people yelled.

"Oh no! Run away!" Katsura yelled.

"Kill them all!" The officers yelled.

I saw my gang plus Katsura run through a door that I surprisingly didn't see, and followed.

"Wh-Wh-Who are those people?!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Well... When there are terrorist, their are angry citizens and police officers. Since they are dressed in a uniform, I'm thinking their the police!" I informed.

"Yeah! You're right! They're the Shensingumi, the armed police!" Katsura replied. "An elite Anti-Terrorist squad they send to wipe out rebel elements!" He suddenly ran beside Gin. "They're really annoying, what should we do, boss?!"

"I'm not your freaking boss! And you're the one that's annoying!" Gin yelled.

Kagura said something, but I didn't catch it. I was beginning to get tired and was lagging.

"Oi!" Hijikata yelled as he almost jabbed through Gin's head with his sword. Gin ducked, so the sword got stuck in the wall. "There's no need to run. It's a nice fight. Let's have some fun."

"Oi, are you really a public official? I'm surprised you passed the interview, your pupils are dilated." Gin told the man.

"You should talk, creep." Hijikata pulled the sword out of the wall. "Coming from someone who has dead fish eyes!"

"Gin-San!" I yelled. "Stop talking and get up!"

Hijikata swung at him again, but luckily Gin rolled away and got back on his feet.

"It's all right. My eyes sparkle during my close ups." Gin said, now holding his wooden sword.

"Don't lie!" Hijikata yelled as he tried to kill Gin again. Gin sidestepped to avoid the cut, but that was a terrible mistake. Hijikata twisted his sword, and slashed sideways to cut Gin in half. Gin miraculously jumped back in time, and I exhaled a sigh of relief. "You're pretty good. Most people can't keep up with this transition."

"That's dangerous." Gin replied. "What would you do if you really hit me?" Um... You'd be dead. I'd probably be next.. Yeah. Don't get hit.

"You idiot! I'm trying to hit you!" Hijikata yelled, and slashed at Gin again. He dodged it, and I sighed again. I guess... Since this is really happening in front of me, I'm having doubts. He slashed again, and again, until Gin finally blocked with his own sword. Finally!

They just glared at each other until another voice was heard.

"Mr. Hijikata, look out." I found out it was Okita as soon as I heard the bazooka being shot.

The bullet whizzed it's way straight through them, but the explosion happened right beside them. A black smoke engulfed them, and I screamed. Because I was also pretty close. Can you imagine an explosion happening right in front of you? Pretty scary... Suddenly, Gin grabbed me and led me in this room. When we got in, I saw his hair and snickered. It was all puffy because of the explosion, wow!

They put a table over the door so they couldn't get in, but I thought one thing... We're screwed.

"Stop your stupid resistance and come on out!" Someone yelled from outside.

"D-did you grow more hair?" Shinpachi asked.

"This is the 15th floor, there's no escape." Katsura said, getting up.

"So... We're just going to die? Great..." I mumbed.

Katsura took out a ball from his robe. "No. We aren't going to die. This right here is a time bomb. I was going to use it for the terminal, but I have no choice. I'm going to give these guys a little present. In the confusion, everybody run."

Gin suddenly grabbed Katsura by the shirt.

"Jerk! What do you think you're doing to Katsura!" Some random guy yelled.

"Katsura, let's put an end to this." Gin said. "No matter how much you get your hands dirty, our dead buddies won't be pleased, nor will times change. Don't dirty them anymore."

"You're the one who's dirty, Gintoki." Katsura argued. "As soon as times changed, you went to the other side. A warrior must stick to his beliefs."

Ugh, here they go... Talking again. As if I'm going to listen to them. They take up a whole page when they have their conversations!

"Gin-Chan... This thingy... I pushed the switch when I was messing with it." Kagura held up the bomb that was now beeping. She smiled sheepishly.

Everyone looked at her.

Oh... My... God...

"What a nightmare."

"How cliche."

"Hey! Come out! We're going to fire this time!" I heard them yell outside.

Suddenly, Gin, Kagura, Shinpachi, and I busted through the doors. And ran straight past them. I was scared, but not scared enough to get blown up.

"O-oi! What are you doing?! Stop them!" Hijikata yelled.

"If you want to stop something, stop this bonb, please!" Gin yelled as he held up the ticking time bomb of destruction. "You have a bomb squad, don't you?!

The Shensingumi all screamed and ran away. "He's got a bonb!"

"Shinpachi! Didn't you say you were good with machines?!" Gin asked as he passed the bomb to Shinpachi.

"Y-y-you're mistaken! Kagura, this is all your fault to begin with!" Shinpachi yelled as he passed it to her.

"L-L-Len-Kun! Can you hold this for a second, my hands are kind of full!" Kagura yelled as she passed it to me.

"I-I-I need an adult!" I yelled as I threw it to Gin.

"I'm a child at heart!" To Shinpachi.

"Bombs go great with red hair!" To Kagura.

"I'm just a little girl!" To me

"You're older than me!" To Gin.

This went on for a while, until it was back at Gin.

"Only 10 seconds left!" Gin exclaimed.

"Gin-San! The window! The window!" Shinpachi yelled as he pointed to a window ALL the way down the hall.

"Do you think he can throw that far?!" I yelled, Kagura tightened her hold on her umbrella.

"Gin-Chan! Bite down on something!" Kagura ordered.

Gin looked back. "E-eh!"

She got in a position you would be in to hit a ball playing baseball. "YAAAAHH!" She swung at hit him right on his cheek. I stopped running, and so did Shinpachi.

He flew away and blasted through the window. Ow... That had to hurt...

I waited a while, and saw the bomb fly up in the air and explode. It was 10 times bigger, and would have probably killed all of us in the building.

We all ran to the window and Shinpachi yelled out, "G-Gin-San!"

"Bye-Bye, Gin-Chan!" Kagura waved happily.

"He saved us all... He was a good man." I bowed.

I looked down, and saw Gin hanging off of a towel advertising the... Are we in a hotel?

I laughed, Kagura did too. Shinpachi chuckled, and started to laugh as well.

OVA

We headed back to Yorozuya, and as soon as I stepped foot in the building, Otose grabbed me by the collar and swung me on the couch. "OW! WHAT THE HECK?!"

She then grabbed Gin by the hair, and swung him down the stairs. Ow... That had to hurt far worse than my punishment.

"Otose-San! You shouldn't do that! What's wrong?!" Shinpachi questioned.

"I saw you all on the news. I'm not letting a bunch of terrorist stay here." She spit out, and cracked her nuckles when I started to get up. "Stay there, twerp."

"Isn't this... Rape?" I asked. I could see an anger mark on her forehead, and she lunged for me

"A-AH! WAIT. OTOSE-SAN! STOP! LET ME EXPLAIN!"

This is the longest thing I've ever done. I'm going to die...ugh. It took me...so long... Ugh...

Anyway... Please review. And tell me if I should cut the episodes in half... Your review is always wanted, and I appreciate all of them.

14 pages...

...

Now it's 15...