Into the World of Gintama
Hi everyone! I got a request to describe how Len-kun looks, so I'll do it now! Uh-huh!
Well, he has straight, grayish-blue hair. He wears a red jacket and a black T-shirt. He has teal colored jeans. He is 5 ft. 1. He weighs a little less than Kagura. His eyes are gold. And his skin is sun-kissed. (Imagine Naruto's skin color.) Uh... If you need any more information on him, just ask in the reviews, k?
"Gin-san! Gin-san! Did you see the game the other day?" Shinpachi-san asked.
"Uh, yeah, I saw it." Gin-san responded.
"It sure was great, wasn't it?" Shinpachi-san mused. "Hey, Len-kun."
"Hello."
"Yeah, I'd never thought we'd win." To be honest... I don't know what they're talking about. I don't remember any game, or anything like that.
"Win?" Wait, Shinpachi-san... You're talking about a game we didn't even win?
"Yeah. The World Baseball Classic." Gin-san explained.
"No, I'm talking about the World Cup!" Shinpachi-san yelled.
"Oh, that." Gin-san sucked his teeth.
"What do you mean by, 'Oh, that'?!" Shinpachi-san questioned. "It's all anyone's talking about!"
"Never mind that. Why are we airing an Anime Special when the whole world is gaga over soccer?" Gin-san asked. Why are we? Are we being recorded... With all the Anime references? "And an hour long special, at that!" I'm probably going to bite my hands off after this...
"Don't complain, let's just get started!" Are you talking to me or Gin-san, Shinpachi-san? Wait, of course he's talking to Gin-san... He can't read my mind, can he?
"All right." Gin-san groaned. This is going to take a long time...
La la la
La la la
La la la
Ah ah ah~
Let's go out free up your mind
Sweet dream on the other side
I've finally opened my eyes
To see the world so wide
'cause when your thoughts fade to black
The shields you build start to crack
So change your plan of attack
I'm never going
Go back to
The days when I lost you
(Hey baby why?)
You left me
You said 'cause I had to
(I want to cry)
I broke my vows and ran but now
I've finally grown a backbone
So fxck your shxt
Throw down that's it
'Cause babe, you are not alone
Say it ain't so and tell me no
But baby, I'm here to stay
So throw your woes and I'll kiss your tears away
Livin' on the run don't scare me none
So baby, for you
I'll pray hard every day
The two of us will be okay
So come on out and let's play.
La la la
Chapter 8: A dumpling you've chewed and spit out isn't a dumpling anymore, you moron!
"Eh? Who cares if we try to mix things up some? You know what they say, all things change... Being the only competitor means being the victor! Don't get pissed off at me! If you think you can blame me and avoid your own responsibility, you're way off! The night is crawling with demons! Listen up! What we need is this! Yes, calcium!" Gin-san... Why are you still talking? What are you even talking about? And don't just hold up strawberry milk like it goes with whatever you're talking about! Don't make me punch you! "If we have enough calcium, we can do anything! Trouble with tests? Fighting with your parents? Some girl you like? Odiferous nethers?" What is that?! "If you have enough calcium, all of these can be solved!"
"No, they won't!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed. Thank you! I was really about to just rage! "No matter how much calcium you get, you'll still have broken bones after being hit by a car!" Well, if that's true... Why is Gin-san and I normal while you're in a hospital bed? With a cast on your foot.
If you're confused, read the last chapter. Remember how Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, and I got hit by that car being chased by Sadaharu?
Gin-san drunk some of his strawberry milk. "I got hit, too, but I'm still kicking. It's all thanks to my daily intake of this miracle elixir."
"And I'm just lucky! Thanks to my Tea-kun!" I drunk some of my delicious sweet tea.
"You only drink strawberry milk, don't act like some big strong guy!" Shinpachi-san yelled at Gin-san. "And you'll die someday because of your kidneys!"
"What a horrible thing to say to a 12 year old..."
"What's that?! I drink milk coffee, too!" Gin-san yelled back.
"It's got about 100 calories per saving, low salt content, and the omega fatty acids you could want. Milk's great." Kagura-chan explained as she ate some rice. I swear... Who eats rice in a hospital room? You're so fat, Kagura-chan... Thank God for your metabolism, I guess...
"That's my food!" Shinpachi-san complained.
"Drink the strawberry milk. Strawberry milk." Gin-san held the milk to his face, also very close to Shinpachi-san's face as well.
"Oh, gross! Sickly sweet!" Shinpachi-san covered his nose.
"What was that?!" Gin-san tried to move Shinpachi-san's hand from his nose. "Gintoki has breath like a field of flowers." He breathed in Shinpachi-san's face. It's sad... I can see the pink breath...
"Augh! Shinpachi takes 99 points of damage!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed.
"That's enough!"
We all looked over to see a wrinkly old nurse. She moved the curtains so she was in the same room as us. Well, she was always in the same room... Same portion?
"You're upsetting the other patients!" She yelled. "We've got a guy over here who's straddling between life and death, idiots!"
"Maybe Shinpachi-san is loud because he's dying? Ever thought of that, nurse?" I asked, but before she could yell again Gin-san hit me on the head. I... I hate when he does that...
"I'm not the one talking so loud, it's mostly you three!" Shinpachi-san glared at us.
"Shinpachi-san... Do you know how much you yell?" I asked.
"I yell because of you morons!"
Suddenly, a bottle of juice was thrown at my head, along with Shinpachi-san. Ouch... That hurt! That hurt, a lot! What kind of hospital is this?! They hurt the patients and the guests here!
...
"Dr. Jaizen will now perform his uplifting march." Someone on the intercom announced. An uplifting march? How is a march uplifting?
Gin-san, Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-san, and I were sitting in the guest room, and a man with a whole bunch of people behind him walked though the hallway.
"Come on, you're an adult. Act the part." Shinpachi-san told Gin-san. "It's getting more and more uncomfortable to stay here."
"Well, man is always on a journey to find his niche in life." Gin-san... DON'T YOU DARE START PREACHING!
"Don't act like your some kind of philosopher!" Shinpachi-san yelled.
"Thanks, Shinpachi-san... I did not want to hear him have a whole speech." I grumbled.
"Hey, yo, ho, my homies!" Kagura-chan started to... Rap out of nowhere... "I'll never stop walkin', 'till da po-lice get me, comin' up now, kick yo ass like Jet Li!"
"How did you change your clothes so fast?! Why are you rapping?! Those lyrics make me wanna barf!" I yelled, taking the straight man role for now. That was just too random to ignore.
"Kick you into manhood, you punk-ass bitch." Stop rapping! "Get in my car, ho, I'll show you how to..." She just stopped suddenly, and walked away. I swear...
"Goodness, they're so many wannabes these days..." Gin-san sighed.
"What was she even singing abo- AUGH!" Kagura-chan threw a skateboard at Shinpachi-san's face, making me laugh out uncontrollably.
"HAHAHA!" Gah! That was so funny! "GAHAHAHA!"
"It's all because of calcium deficiency." Gin-san finished, drinking his milk.
"Strawberry milk, eh?" Huh..? Who's... Hahaha... That..? "I drank that often, in my younger days." Why is an old man talking to us? He's holding that... Thing that old people in the hospital bring with them everywhere. Not a cane... But... I don't know... "I used to be quite the skirt-chaser-" He... He... Haha... Hahaha! He grabbed the nurse's butt that was walking by...
"What the fuck?!" She slapped the man, knocking him on the ground. She stomped away in rage.
"Oh, Atsuki-chan..." The old man smiled as he rubbed his bruised face. "What a good girl she was..." His voice suddenly became super high like a girl as he said, "Ooh, if you always drink strawberry milk, people'll think you're a kid! Drink coffee occasionally!" He smirked as he sighed. "Like that..."
Why is this guy talking to us? And why are we just sitting here listening to him?
"Oh, and Yukari-chan..." Why is he talking about girls? Is he a pedophile? "She used to worry about me, thinking about me everyday." Why do you keep using past tense? Wait... Cause it happened in the past... I feel dumb... "Now, I think I'll have strawberry milk, for old times' sake!"
"Strawberry milk?!" Gin-san gasped.
"Indeed!" The man exclaimed. "I see a man with a carton of strawberry milk, and I think, selling it must be his trade!" The man gave Gin-san a thumbs up!
"Oh, no. I'm a jack of all trades living in the city..." Gin-san chuckled. Now you sound all pathetic...
"Jack of all trades?"
"Oh, well. I must be going, I have work, ya know..." Gin-san stood up, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.
"Jack of all trades?!" The old man asked, now more excited.
"Oh, I'm so busy, so busy..." Gin-san, on the count of 3, we run. "I am a jack of all trades after all..." Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-san, and I stood up, but the man glared at us... Um...
"Jack of all trades!" The man dropped the... Thing that old people in the hospital use. It fell on the ground, and the acupuncture/needle thing attached to his arm also came off. Um... Isn't that what's keeping him alive?
Um... He looks sick now... Is he going crazy? Why does he keep glaring at us..?
"Oh, crap!" Kagura-chan exclaimed, worried-like. "It looks like we aren't welcomed here! It's like that fall in middle school when Hamaru-kun, who didn't get mad even if called pimple-face or crater-boy, went on a rampage when I spoke to him and threw a chair at me!"
"What?!" I looked at her weird. "I... I'm not even going to comment on that!"
"You said you were a jack of all trades, didn't you?" No... Stop slowly walking closer to us... You're freaking us out! "That means... That means you'll do anything someone asks?"
Gin-san, Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-san, and I started fighting over who would talk to the crazy old man. I... I don't remember if this is an episode or not...
Eventually, we overpowered Shinpachi-san, who had to walk with crutches, and pushed him in front of us.
"W-within our power..." Shinpachi-san answered. "We can't heal you, so if that's it, I'd suggest donating money to a local church..."
Kagura-chan was doing a prayer while Gin-san and I were holding Shinpachi-san from running away.
The man got closer to us, freaking Shinpachi-san out. "Well, they do it for free this time, but I heard from great-grandpa-" The old man glared as he... Oh SNAP! HE TOOK OUT A LONG NEEDLE FROM HIS KIMONO THING! RUN, SHINPACHI-SAN! "No, I'm sorry! When I said 'money', I meant in this game I'm playing!" The man grabbed Shinpachi-san's shirt. "No! I don't want my last words to be some lame excuse about a game!"
"Rurururu!" The man clutched his needle and quickly brought it to Shinpachi-san's face, but stopped right at Shinpachi-san's nose. Shinpachi-san fainted...
...
"Once again... This is Dr. Jaizen's uplifting march."
"I want you to search for the owner of this hairpin." The old man said, looking down. We were all sitting on a bench outside the hospital.
After Shinpachi-san fainted, the man actually turned out to be... Not crazy. He was just showing Shinpachi-san the hairpin... And it wasn't a needle, like I thought it was...
I really thought he was going to go all Ninja, though.
"Why would you want us to do that?" Shinpachi-san asked, having woken up not long ago.
"She was my first love..." The man blushed. Creepy...
Kagura-chan was blankly staring at us, chewing on her sukonbu. Sukonbu is a chewy, sour Japanese snack made of kelp.
"What's with the sukonbu?" Shinpachi-san asked Kagura-chan.
"When I have to hear a sad story, my snacks are the refugee of my soul..." Kagura-chan explained.
"For all these years, I've chased after women for their sweet, supple behinds." That was random... Old man. And weird. "But for some reason, all I can remember is her smile."
So... You're in love. You said that already.
"Gimme some too." Gin-san reached out for some of Kagura-chan's sukonbu.
"You, too?! Give it a rest!" Shinpachi-san yelled.
"Hey... Let me taste some, too." I asked, Kagura-chan giving me some of the chewy snack.
"Ugh! I give up..!" Shinpachi-san sighed.
"I don't mind if you laugh at the idea of an old man thinking about his first love." BLAA! NASTY! DISGUSTING! This sukonbu is terrible... I'll never eat this again!
But... Kagura-chan is giving me that look... If I don't eat it, she'll kill me.
"Don't worry about it." Shinpachi-san chewed on Kagura-chan's sukonbu.
"She was so beautiful..." The man looked up. "She was popular everywhere she went for her work ethic and gorgeous, pinned-back hair." Wait a second... I'm getting something... "All the men went to her shop, getting grotesquely fat off the dumplings they ate while courting her. I, too, wanted to be like them, but I had no money, not to mention being wet behind the ears." I think I remember this episode... "Watching her from the shadows was all I could manage."
I understand. But, it's alright. If my guess is correct, you wouldn't like her anyway, as she is now.
"Then, one day... While I was gazing at her from afar... She spoke to me." Really? You just, like, been caught stalking! "She told me she always knew I've been watching her." So... You were a bad stalker? It's amazing she didn't call the police on you! "Those were the first words that she, Ayano-san, spoke to me. But, directly after that... She offered me dumplings... For free!" She's really nice, ya know! "She didn't realize how I felt. But perhaps, it was for the best. After all, I was on the verge of collapse just being next to her." ... "Naturally, I couldn't get a single dumpling down my throat." ...What?! Are they hard to swallow, or something?! "As I lay there choking on the dumpling, all I could think about was how weak I was, and how unworthy of her affection." Well, if you choke on a soft dumpling... Then... "I turned my back on her and ran."
"You can run while choking?!" I spat out.
"When I came to, I was lying in some alley, in a pool of my own vomit..." Disgusting. "...With the hairpin I tore from her hair clutched in my hand." That's a very touching story... "I want you to find her."
"The price will be steep, I'm afraid." Gin-san! How cruel! "We're the best Yorozuya in the business, you see."
"If it's money you want, I have it." Good... "Enough that I could never spend it all, even if I tried. I don't have any family, either, so I've really been at a loss at what to do with it." That's... Nice... And sad... "If you take up my case, I will leave you all the material goods I have amassed in this life"
"Gin-san, can't we just do this for free? He's an elderly man with no family... And this is his only request... It's sad..." I whispered, but Gin-san just ignored me, a stupid grin on his face.
"V-very well, then!" Gin-san stuttered. "I don't suppose I could refuse an old man's wish!"
"Hey, people get mad if you laugh at them!" Shinpachi-san scolded.
"Shut up, Shinpachi!" Gin-san jumped off the bench, glaring at Shinpachi-san. "I merely want to fulfill our client's wish! My heart and soul are committed to this endeavour!"
"Hey, but I'm still confined to the hospital." Shinpachi-san whined.
"Idiot!" Gin-san yelled. "It doesn't matter to a jack of all trades, so long as he's helping his client!"
"You obviously just want the money... You poor bastard..." I muttered.
"What did you say, you brat?!" Gin-san made a fist. "It isn't money or possessions that matter in this life, it's love!"
"So, this is the state of the youth today, is it?" Kagura-chan shrugged.
"Huh?" Shinpachi-san sweatdropped. "Why are you lecturing me like I'm a spoilt brat?" I got up from the bench and began walking with Gin-san and Kagura-chan. "Is this inheritance worth more than sukonbu?"
"More than a whole family pack of them!" Gin-san answered energetically.
"Hmm... I guess we could get some more of my Tea-kun..." I mused.
"Heeey!" Shinpachi-san shouted, still sitting on the bench.
Yeah... I'm gonna write this episode in parts... Because it's long! Like, really long! And I'm just not up for putting all that in one little chapter. So, I hope you all enjoyed! And Please review! Tell me what I need to work on, and things like that, ya know! Bye nii!
Also... I've started to re-read my writings, so don't worry about stupid mistakes! I was actually getting irritated with myself after reading my fics...