Into the World of Gintama
Chapter 9: A Dumpling You've Chewed and Spit Out Isn't a Dumpling Anymore, You Moron!
Everyone... I give you all permission to skin me alive. I am so freaking sorry that I haven't updated this story in a while... But, I got super addicted to Naruto and such... I promise that I'm not going to stop this story anytime soon, and if I do I'll make sure to tell you all. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy~!
"The Kanzashi Dumpling Shop? Never heard of them."
Man, you people are useless.
"I heard it was around here." Gin-san told the man.
"Well, I dunno 'bout that." The old man scratched his chin. "I dunno too much about what was here…"
We were sitting in front of a dumpling shop, Gin-san eating green dumplings, Kagura-chan was eating white balls (I forgot what they were called), while I was just sipping on the sweet tea they had. It needed more sugar, though…
"God, you have the memory of a chicken!" He's an old man, Gin-san!
"But hey, Gintoki, at least pay off your tab!" He didn't forget about that… "The last time you paid me was 219 days ago! You have to pay for your seaside dumplings from 217 days ago, your mushroom and sweet wine dumplings from 212 days ago, and-"
"How the heck does he remember that?!" I coughed out the sweet tea, wiping my mouth.
"Any who, we're looking for a girl, who used to work at that Kanzashi place, named Ayano…" Gin-san ate another one of his dumplings. "Well, I say girl, but that was 50 years ago, so she'll be old by now…" Or dead...
"No way, man." The man rubbed his chin again. "I don't have anything to do with gals over forty." How old are you?! "Anyway, Gintoki, pay up. The last time you paid me was 219 days ago, and-"
"Why don't you try memorizing pi instead?" Gin-san interrupted. He threw the dumpling stick on the ground.
"Seriously? Pi? Huh?"
We all stood up and ran away, Kagura-chan grabbing all the food on her plate. I grabbed two more bottles of sweet tea and hightailed it with them.
"Hey! Which do you think is better, names of historical politicians or a mathematical equation?"
"Neither!" I yelled back.
After that, we ran back to the hospital to report to the old geezer, when we heard two nurses talking.
"God, I just can't take that dirty old man." One nurse whined. "We should fry his brain!" That's kind of… intense… "Even if we are angles in white, there's a limit to what we can take! It'd be a different story if he at least tip us!"
"No way! No way!" The other nurse chuckled. "He's been here for months, and he hasn't paid the bill. He's crazy poor, that man!" I gasped, dropping the cups in my hand. I really think they're talking about...
...
"That goddamn, dirty old bastard!" Gin-san, Kagura-chan, and I cursed, a dark aura surrounding us. We rushed to that liar's room and kicked the door down. Apparently, Shinpachi-san heard the conversation as well and was right behind us. We left him earlier to take care of the old man while we were gone.
"Moneeeeey!" We screamed, hate all over us.
There was a moment of silence with him just staring at us, us glaring back.
…
"Oh? You found out?" The man scratched the back of his head sheepishly, making us sweatdrop.
"How dare you!" Gin-san demanded.
"Hang on, wait a minute." The man smiled. "Are you saying that a little money is worth more than an old man's deathbed happiness?"
"Let's see if yer happy with no eyes!" Kagura-chan grabbed the man's face, pulling it. The old man winced, trying desperately to pull Kagura-chan off of him.
"I'm sorry, but our bond was forged on the promise of remuneration." Gin-san put his hands on his hips.
"I'm going to have to take this Jump back." Shinpachi-san grabbed the manga from the man's lap. "I stil want to know what happens on the tenth page."
"And I'm not sharing my Tea-kun with you!" I growled.
"How about Tea-chan?"
"YOU DIRTY, PERVERTED BASTARD!"
"And your hospital food, too." Kagura-chan grabbed his plate of food. "I've gotta check out these famous beans."
We all began to walk out the room, leaving the man to himself.
"So, no hard feelings…" Gin-san turned around, and gasped to see the old man violently coughing. I gasped as well, since I'm not remembering this at all.
I closed the door, leaving Shinpachi-san and Kagura-chan outside to themselves.
"Now you know that I'm not just a dirty old man, but a dirty old man with a deadly illness." The old man looked down sadly… Where's Kagura-chan's sukonbu when you need it? I'm about to cry, now...
Gin-san and I pulled up a chair beside the man's bed, looking at the man in slight pity and sadness. If I knew that he was sick... But, if he wasn't sick then why would he be in an hospital? I really need to think more before I act...
"Rika-chan said that she can't resist my strength in the face of death... Who was it that said the candle burns brightest before it goes out?" He smiled. "Ah, yes. It was Kana-chan."
"I'm sorry, old man." I apologized, wiping my eyes so tears wouldn't start to come out. I was not going to cry here... "I was a bit harsh with my judgement of you... You can have my Tea-kun... And I'll buy you some Tea-chan, too..." I smiled weakly. I just can't ignore a sick old person... I'd do anything for them. I really would do anything.
"Thanks." The man turned to Gin-san and I. Gin-san had a hard look on his face, but if you looked closely you could see the hint of sadness. "There's more to that dumpling story. Want to hear?"
I nodded, somehow thinking about my Nana before she died. I was really close with her, and I haven't really experienced the Death of a close family member before. So, it should be obvious how broken up that got me... And I started thinking about Death warily after that day.
Now, seeing the old man here practically fighting Death... I just have to help him. I'll do anything right now... Anything at all. I just wish I could stop the tears...
"After the part of the story I already told you, it seems the girl was forced to quit her job at the shop." The old man continued. "It wasn't just to me, but to all kinds of hungry children, and even animals, that she had given dumplings in secret. Thanks to me, the owner found out and made her quit." He frowned. "I really did a terrible thing... I know that no amount of regret will absolve me of my sin, but before I die, I hope that I can at least return her hairpin..." He smiled again, although I could see it was fake. "Well, it may just be that I want to see her smile again..."
"...We'll help you." Gin-san said after a while, standing up. "For free this time. Come on, Len."
I grinned, knowing Gin-san would do the right thing in this situation. "Yes!" I exclaimed, getting out of my seat and following him out the door. Before I left, however, I turned around and gave the man a big smile. "I promise that we'll find her. I really do promise, ya know!"
I closed the door before I could see his reaction, and slowly turned around. Kagura-chan and Shinpachi-san was sitting down on a bench outside the room; Kagura-chan eating the man's food and Shinpachi-san reading the Jump.
"Let's go." Gin-san grabbed the Jump from Shinpachi-san.
"Huh? We going home?" Shinpachi-san asked. Kagura-chan looked up from her food in confusion and curiosity.
"Nope." Gin-san put the Jump comic in his robe, half of the book showing out. "We're going full speed ahead to find the hairpin's owner."
"Eeehhh?!" Shinpachi-san and Kagura-chan exclaimed, Kagura-chan putting the finished food beside her. Man... She eats fast.
"Listen up!" Gin-san demanded, giving all of us a hard look. "Let's say you drink too much strawberry milk, and have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. But it's cold outside your bed. You don't want to get up, but the urge to urinate is just too strong! You make up your mind to go! You run to the bathroom, stand in front of the toilet, and let loose!"
By now, a little crowd had gathered around us.
"You think that all your life has led to this moment!" Gin-san continued, not knowing people were around. "But then you realize! It isn't the bathroom! You're still in bed! That feeling of lukewarm wetness spreads like wildfire! But you don't stop! You can't stop! That's what I'm talking about! That's the truth of the strawberry milk! Do you get it?!"
"Strawberry milk!" Kagura-chan cheered.
"Sweet tea and strawberry milk!" I cheered along with her.
"Really..." Shinpachi-san narrowed his eyes in annoyance.
"Strawberry milk and sweet tea! Sweet tea and strawberry milk! Strawberry milk and sweet tea! Sweet tea and strawberry milk!" Kagura-chan, the now large crowd, and I cheered, fist pumping the air. Gin-san put his hands on his hip, a smug smile on his face. Shinpachi-san looked around, flabbergasted at the scene.
"Strawberry milk and sweet tea! Sweet tea and strawberry milk! Strawberry milk and sweet tea! Sweet tea and strawberry milk!" Shinpachi-san (He gave in to his fate), Gin-san, Kagura-chan, the crowd of nurses and patients, and I cheered some more.
"Let's go!" I exclaimed, pointing towards the exit.
"Yeah!" Everyone cheered.
~Later~
Sadaharu, Kagura-chan, Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, and I were now standing at a random street. Sadaharu panting like a dog. Kagura-chan holding her umbrella, to the confusion of the people walking by. Gin-san with one hand in his robe. Shinpachi-san with crutches. And me holding my Tea-kun in a special bottle.
The bottle is special because it's made of plastic so even of you drop it it won't break! And none will spill out because the only way tea comes out is when you suck the little straw-like thing! And- Wait... I'm getting off topic. Anyway, we were just standing there... A rather odd bunch, a random person walking by might say. This was normal to us, though. Well... Shinpachi-san might still have a bit of sanity left, but I swear it's going down quicker than our money! And that's saying something! Sometimes... I worry that we might not have anything at all to eat, and we'll have to steal food from Oto- Oh, wait... We do that already. Man... We are one poor bunch. A weird, mostly insane bunch.
Wait... I really got off topic there. What's going on again? I'm so lost right now.
"But how are we supposed to find the owner of such an ordinary-looking hairpin?" Shinpachi-san asked Gin-san, who was now observing the hair pin. Wait... He took out the hairpin from his robe... He takes out everything from there! What happened to the Jump he had in there?! Is he a ma- Sorry... I'm getting off topic a lot.
"When you find her..." Kagura-chan took the pin from Gin-san and held it in front of Sadaharu. "...You can chew this up all you like, Sadaharu!"
"Hey! It doesn't work like that!" Shinpachi-san yelled. "Chew it up? And how will he find her?!" He continued.
"By smell." Kagura-chan said, giving an idiotic smirk.
"IT'S BEEN FIFTY YEARS!" Shinpachi-san screamed. Man... My eardrums are fainting...
But, Shinpachi-san sat on Sadaharu anyway and started to look for this mysterious girl. Sadaharu sniffed the ground as he walked, Shinpachi-san on his back and Kagura-chan, Gin-san, and I walking beside them.
"There's no smell left." Shinpachi-san continued, knowing this wouldn't work.
"You never know." Kagura-chan argued, her voice a little muffled by chewing on her sukonbu. "Maybe she has terrible B.O. or something..."
"Ehh..." Shinpachi-san gave Kagura-chan a disgusted look. "B.O.?! Don't crush a young man's conception of the female body, Miss Sukonbu!"
Sadaharu turned a corner, so we followed.
"Don't worry, Shinpachi-kun." Gin-san smirked, only one of his eyes opened. "Real babes smell good, no matter how sweaty they get."
"Really, Gin-san?" I asked him. He nodded. "Oh, okay..." I nodded, looking down. What? I have to know... Ya know, for future reference, of course. So I can pass on that information to the future generation.
"Len-kun's getting excited." Kagura-chan commented. I ignored her comment, taking a sip of my Tea-kun. If I yell at her I'll just be another Shinpachi-san, and if I insult her she might hit me. Ignoring is the best way to settle things... Right now.
"Ah, don't worry, Len. If you have someone you're interested in, aim low at first." Gin-san told me. "Like Kagura-chan." He added, but that got him a kick in the groin.
"Why don't you aim dirt low, perm head?!" Kagura-chan yelled, before walking back along with Sadaharu and Shinpachi-san. Gin-san just lay on the ground, tears running down his face as he held his crotch.
"Why do they always aim for the crotch?!" Gin-san yelled, before shakily standing back up. I was ignoring him at this point, walking along with Shinpachi-san and Kagura-chan. Oh, and Sadaharu, too.
"Huh?" I blinked as I realized where Sadaharu was leading us to. It didn't take long for Kagura-chan and Shinpachi-san to realize it either. "He just brought us back home." I deadpanned when Sadaharu stopped in front of Otose's Snack Shop.
"You trying to ruin our reputation here, ya dumb dog?" Gin-san asked, still recuperating from Kagura-chan's attack. Sadaharu started panting, scratching the door to the shop. "What are you doing? I told you to do your business outside. We can't keep having the rugs cleaned!" Gin-san said, walking towards the dog. Kagura-chan and I were walking right beside him, eating sukonbu and drinking sweet tea respectively.
Sadaharu ignored Gin-san, still scratching at the door, trying to open it. A realization suddenly hit all of us, making us gasp.
"Hey, it can't be..."
"It can't be, indeed."
Suddenly, the door opened, smoke pouring out at us. Otose stood in front of us, a cigarette in her hands.
"What? You gonna pay the rent?" Otose asked, her eyes narrowed. You gonna stop making me a second hand smoker? "I thought I told you guys that we're a night-time operation, so we're closed during the day. Come back at night, idiot!"
"Oh no, this can't be..."
"No, no."
"She doesn't look like Ayano, does she?"
"No, no."
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, Kagura-chan, and I laughed. Man... That was funny. How could someone with black hair, anorexic, and ugly be Ayano? Even though we haven't seen her, I'm pretty sure Ayano is a brown haired beauty, even at her old age.
"How do you know my first name?"
...
...
...
Earth Cracks In Half
"MY HEAD'S EXPLODING! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT!" Shinpachi-san cried.
"DON'T LIE TO ME, HAG!" Gin-san yelled.
"TEA-KUN! HE'S STOPPED BREATHING! TEA-KUUUUUUN!" I screamed.
"THERE'S NO WAY SHE'D GIVE ANYONE ANYTHING! I ONCE SAW HER SHOOT DOWN A PASSING SPACE CRUISER!" Kagura-chan exclaimed.
"HEEEEEYYY! YOU'RE TREATING ME LIKE A MONSTER?!" Otose vociferated, her eyes turning blue. Suddenly, a blue laser shot out of her head into the sky!
Wait... Ooops, my bad. My eyes got all blurry...
"Otose's just my alias. My 'night name,' one might say." Otose explained. "My real name is Terada Ayano."
"Oh, Mr. Ant, are you enjoying your walk?" Kagura-chan asked, her, Gin-san, and I watching as a trail of ants passed by.
"You can have some of my Tea-kun, Mrs. Ant." I offered, pouring a drop of tea on the ground.
"Hahahaha." We laughed in monotone.
"Why are you trying to reconcile the harsh truth with simple objects?!" Otose yelled. "I'm not an ant, I'm Ayano!" Suddenly, we could hear the telephone ringing. "Huh?" She walked in the shop, leaving us outside. "It's the Big Edo Hospital!" Otose called out to us after a while.
"Huh?" We all walked in the snack shop in confusion. Wait... If the Big Edo Hospital called us... Usually in Anime, when something like this happens...
"They're saying something about an old man in bad shape." Otose explained. I gasped, dropping my Tea-kun. Everyone else did as well. "Is he a friend of yours?"
"Damn it!" Gin-san yelled, grabbing Otose and running outside. We followed, and Sadaharu was luckily outside waiting for us. "Bring us to the hospital, damn dog!"
Sadaharu nodded, and after Kagura-chan, Otose, and I sat on the dog's back... We sprinted for the hospital. Gin-san and Shinpachi-san were right beside us, on Gin-san's scooter. This... This is so sad... Why do things like this have to happen?! Damn it!
"WATCH OUT!" Gin-san warned the people on the street. Sadaharu wouldn't stop for them... Sadaharu would just keep running straight ahead to the hospital. I knew Gin-san wouldn't either. We have to hurry and take Otose there... I promised! Ah, what was that thump? Probably nothing... He must have hit a road bump.
"Hey, I think you hit something back there!" Shinpachi-san yelled.
"I'm sure it's nothing." Kagura-chan replied.
"Compared to our endeavor, the lives of others mean little!" Gin-san told the teen.
"That was a person! A person! A person!" Shinpachi-san continued.
"No, it wasn't!" Gin-san sucked his teeth.
"If anything, it was a mushroom or maybe a toadstool." Kagura-chan told him.
"Exactly, Shinpachi-san. You really need to just go with the flow sometimes! The most logical answer would be a road bump." I reassured.
"You people make me sick." Otose deadpanned, still smoking.
After a while, we made it to the hospital, but in Anime the person usually dies when they go up the stairs, so...
"Sadaharu! Jump through that window!" I ordered. Sadaharu nodded, and prepared itself for lift off.
"We'll meet you up there!" Gin-san told us, before he rode his scooter inside the hospital. Ah... Yeah... Wait, but... What did I just tell Sadaharu to d-
"AAAAHHHHH!" Otose and I screamed as Sadaharu jumped up in the air! He was heading straight for the window I pointed to, but how did I know that was the right window?! It's probably not! We're done for!
"Sadaharu's a butterfly!" Kagura-chan screamed in happiness.
"We're gonna die!" I screamed, closing my eyes.
Sadaharu crashed through the window, and when I realized I wasn't dead, I opened my eyes. There was that old lady that yelled at us earlier, and a doctor. They were standing over an old man... No, that old man was OUR old man! This is the right room!
"AAAAHHHH!" The old nurse and doctor screamed when they saw us.
"Old man!" Gin-san exclaimed as he burst through the door on his scooter.
"Who the hell are you people?!" The doctor yelled at us, recovering from his shock.
"It's a promise between strawberry milk drinkers!" Gin-san answered, getting off of his scooter. Shinpachi-san did the same, standing right beside Gin-san. Otose, Kagura-chan, and I got off of Sadaharu as well, standing beside Gin-san and Shinpachi-san.
Otose suddenly stepped up a bit, straightening out her collar.
"I brought her to you." Gin-san said.
The I.V attached to the old man started beeping a little bit faster, and the old man opened his eyes a little.
"Dr. Jaizen, he's conscience!" The nurse exclaimed in shock.
"What?" Dr. Jaizen turned around in shock, but was immediately pushed aside by Gin-san.
"Hey, can you hear me old man?" Gin-san asked, slapping the man on the head.
"What are you doing?!" Dr. Jaizen asked/yelled.
"That's a very primitive way of seeing if someone can hear you, Gin-san!" I deadpanned.
Before Dr. Jaizen could yell anymore, Sadaharu walked over to the doctor and bit the man's head whole. "A white monster..." The doctor mumbled before succumbing to his fate. Sadaharu pulled the doctor away.
"Doctor!" The nurse screamed, chasing after the dog.
I started to ignore the two and saw Otose walking up beside Gin-san. She looked down at the sick old man in disinterest. The old man turned his head look at Otose and Gin-san.
"We gave her back the hairpin." Gin-san reassured. "Can you see, old man?" He stepped out the way so Otose could step closer to the sick old man. He took off his breathing thing so he could talk.
"Ayano-san..." The old man smiled, tears in his eyes. "You..." Otose put the hairpin in her hair. "...Really look good with your hair pinned back..." He closed his eyes, and a single tear slid down his face. He dropped the breathing thing, and his whole body seemed to go limp. The I.V started to slow down it's beeping... And then it just stopped. His heart stopped, and he died...
The old man was now dead.
~Later~
The sky had an orange hue now. It was a little over 6:00. There were a few birds flying in the sky, but not much. You could see the occasional cat pass by once or twice...
Otose, Sadaharu, Shinpachi-san on top of Sadaharu, Gin-san walking with his bike, Kagura-chan, and I were now walking through the street to get back home. I was still a little sad, but I'll see the Taker about that later...
"My, my. I never would've thought that was where you were taking me." Otose said after a while of silence.
"But, you really did look nice." Shinpachi-san complimented.
"Eeehhh..." Otose moaned.
Another moment of silence... They were calm silences...
"Old women..." Gin-san started.
"Huh?" Otose looked over at Gin-san.
"You didn't remember, did you?" Gin-san asked, his voice surprisingly very serious. We all turned to Otose, giving her interested looks. Is that true? Could she really not remember him? Well, that's logical... But, she had to... She couldn't have just...
"Remember what?" Otose asked, looking down.
"Oh, w-well..." Gin-san stammered.
"I dunno..." Otose stopped walking. The hairpin on Otose suddenly jiggled like a bell, making a pleasant clanking sound. "Well, then..."
I looked up, and instead of Otose talking to us, there was a beautiful girl with short brown hair and a hairpin with a bell on it!
"You want to go get some dumplings, or something?" A-Ayano asked us! Her cheerful and pretty voice circling around in our head! So... Pretty!
...
Shinpachi-san, Gin-san, Kagura-chan, and I rubbed our eyes in confusion. After a while of giving each other skeptical looks, we followed the now walking away Otose in silence.
Well... Ah, Uh... Hope you all liked it. And please review! They keep me motivated, ya know! Bye nii~!