Author's Notes: After watching Gintama the Movie 2: Be Forever Yorozuya...I looked back at this fic and was like...
"...I NEED to write this again." SO, VALAA!
Into the World of Gintama
Chapter 16: If You Stop and Think About It, Your Life's a Lot Longer as an Old Guy than a Kid. Whoa, Scary!
La la la
La la la
La la la
Ah ah ah~
Let's go out free up your mind
Sweet dream on the other side
I've finally opened my eyes
To see the world so wide
'cause when your thoughts fade to black
The shields you build start to crack
So change your plan of attack
I'm never going
Go back to
The days when I lost you
(Hey baby why?)
You left me
You said 'cause I had to
(I want to cry)
I broke my vows and ran but now
I've finally grown a backbone
So fxck your shxt
Throw down that's it
'Cause babe, you are not alone
Say it ain't so and tell me no
But baby, I'm here to stay
So throw your woes and I'll kiss your tears away
Livin' on the run don't scare me none
So baby, for you
I'll pray hard every day
The two of us will be okay
So come on out and let's play.
La la la
Ah ah ah...
Another random day in the world of Gintama...
Right now, Kagura-chan and I are at the park, sitting on the bench. She has her purple umbrella in one hand with a sukonbu stick in the other, chewing on it absently. I'm actually reading a book called 'The Thirsty Games' while sipping nonchalantly on my Tea-kun.
Sitting on the bench beside us is Hasegawa Taizou - the DORK. As he usually does during this time of the day.
"Hey, pops," Kagura-chan drawls.
"What, little Yorozuya-chan?" He grumbles.
"Why are you always here in the middle of the day?"
"Hm?" He takes out his cigarette and blows out a puff of smoke. Y'know, for a homeless man, he sure has a lot of cigarettes. "Well...because I was fired from work."
"Oh?" Kagura-chan turns her head to stare at the man. I flip a page, reading and listening to them at the same time. Multitasking for the win. "Why were you fired?"
"Well...because..." He blows out some more smoke. "It's because I lost my head once and just followed my bliss," he answers. "A young girl like you should always think about the consequences of your actions. You too, little Yorozuya-kun. Life is young, y'know?"
"I don't want to hear that from a loser like you," Kagura-chan and I both say at the same time. Usually, I'd listen and feel sorry for homeless men, but I still remember how he pissed me off back then. He's getting exactly what he deserves.
Kagura-chan and I hop off the bench and start walking away. I fold my page and close my book, making sure to not lose my page. I need to know if Dogniss wins the Thirsty Games or not.
"See ya, you dumb old retarded kook. Or DORK, for short." Kagura-chan waves goodbye. I stifle laughter. "Let's go, Sadaharu."
Suddenly, the big white alien dog runs over to us and lunges at Kagura-chan. She simply brings her leg up and kicks the dog away, stopping it's attack and making it fly away. Seconds later it comes running back to us and slows down to a leisurely walk.
...They...that...pisses me off...
Into the World of Gintama
A few days later, Gin-san decides to go gamble. Because I've got nothing better to do (I'm done with The Thirsty Games so now I'm reading Catching Water), I decide to follow him - even though he doesn't want me to.
We walk inside the multi-colored gambling building and - surprise, surprise - the DORK is sitting down, staring at one of the machines melancholically. His black shades glint in the bright lights, and his brown hair and clothes just dull in comparison. He's sorta like Shinpachi-san; the only thing interesting about them is what they wear on their faces.
Of course, Gin-san walks straight over to the other man. "Yo," he greets, nonchalantly sitting down beside the DORK. I sit beside him, clutching my Tea-kun harder. There are Amanto in this place...and I still remember the last encounter I had with an Amanto. "Back again, huh?" Gin-san starts casually. The DORK just stares at him in surprise. "Well, have you racked up the pachinko balls today?"
The DORK's surprised face tones down a bit, until it looks like he's irritated we're here. He should be grateful that he knows amazing people like us!
"By the way," Gin-san continues when he figures out that the DORK won't respond. "A guy your age, killing time at this place everyday… It's sad to say, but you're like one of those vegetables that stick to the lid of the cup of chow mein."
"Or like the small droplets of tea that refuse to slide down the cup," I add in.
"What about you two?" The DORK's gruff voice asks. "Why is a young guy like you always coming here during the day? And you, little Yorozuya-kun, are everywhere. What's up with that?"
"When your blood sugar levels drop, you don't know what to do."
"I just go with the wind. Unfortunately, the wind seems to always lead Tea-kun and I to you."
The DORK doesn't respond to our answers, so we just stay in a comfortable silence. I stare at Gin-san as he squints at the pachinko machine dropping the ball down and down. I don't understand the purpose the the game, but I guess he got something good, because the machine starts singing loudly and lighting up.
"Oh!" Gin-san smiles. "I feel like I'll win today!" Apparently, the DORK doesn't get anything good, because he simply gets up and walks away.
"Ummm...that's pretty rude," I call out to him. What, is he a Dumb Old Rude Kook now? "Where are you going?" Gin-san stops messing with the machine and looks over at the DORK, too.
The man turns around and smiles at us, waving a bit happily. "I'm going to a job interview today."
"Oh~?" Gin-san drawls. His face shows me that he really doesn't care what the DORK does. "I didn't know you were making a serious effort."
"Kind of." He turns around and continues walking away. "See ya." And with that, he's gone, and Gin-san continues to mess with the machine.
...In the end, he didn't win a single dime, so we walk back to the Yorozuya dejectedly…
Into the World of Gintama
The next day, Gin-san and I have to walk Sadaharu...which is always a struggle. Seriously, the dog usually doesn't listen to a word we say, and just ends up pooping and peeing everywhere. Luckily, I keep my distance, so there's no way for Gin-san to make me hold the dog's leash. I just walk out with him because it's hilarious when Gin-san curses Sadaharu out.
But today, it seems that we're doing a bit more than walking a dog.
"HEY! You'd better listen to me..!" The silver haired samurai tugs on Sadaharu's leash with so much force you'd think the dog's neck would snap...but it doesn't. The dog hardly moves. It just continues peeing in front of the Shinsengumi base - which isn't really a bad thing...we just don't want to deal with the consequences.
But, instead of the pee hitting the ground, it hits a half-naked man instead. I instantly feel a bit sorry for the guy...until the man looks up and I see the black sunglasses. It's Hasegawa; the DORK. Sadaharu's peeing on the DORK...who's only in his underwear...in front of the Shinsengumi base.
What happened to him?
"It's the DORK," I mumble dully, pointing over to the man. Gin-san stops fighting with the dog and looks over to where it's peeing, uncaring look instantly overtaking his face. The DORK stares back, nonmoving, even though he's still getting peed on.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Gin-san asks. The DORK simply sighs, looking so dejected that he's probably about to cry…
...Sucks for him, I guess.
Into the World of Gintama
"I see. Your interview didn't go well again."
We're now at a food stall under the bridge where Gin-san and Kondo-san dueled over Otae-chan's love. Sadaharu is out playing in the grass while Gin-san and the DORK are eating. I don't like this food, so I'm simply sipping on my delicious Tea-kun. Ahh~ Tea-kun...
The DORK was just telling us all the misfortunes that happened to him yesterday, and in every single thing that happened, people continued to call him a DORK. It's such a funny coincidence that I can't stop myself from laughing until my sides begin to ache.
"It's really not funny, little Yorozuya-kun," the DORK persists, sighing. "They totally shot me down."
"Well, you look like a shady bum. Even us at the Yorozuya wouldn't hire you," I remark. "And that's saying a lot." Gin-san promptly smacks me on the forehead. Ow...
"Really?"
"All I'm saying is you should freshen up a bit," I mumble, rubbing my stinging head. "Maybe take off those shades-"
"Now you're sounding like all the other people I met yesterday." The DORK sighs again, looking pathetically depressing. "In fact, I was tangled up with so many strange guys...and every one of them called me a DORK and told me to take off my sunglasses."
"Why won't you just take them off, then?" I ask. "No one just walks around all day with sunglasses on. That's shady, as I said before."
"These sunglasses are a part of my face," he responds indignantly. "There's no way I can take them off."
In a flash, Gin-san jumps up and punches the shit out of the DORK! The older man flies out of his seat and onto the ground, yelping in shock and most likely pain.
"Dumbass!" The silver haired man insults. "Stop blaming everything on your sunglasses! Do you blame a rock when you trip over it? Does it change anything?"
"Well, all he needs to do is take off his sunglasses..."
"Heh... You're saying it's because of my sunglasses that I can't change myself?" The DORK smirks, wiping off the blood dribbling out of his nose. Man, Gin-san hit him hard... "You think I can change myself at this age?"
Gin-san sighs, walking back over to the booth and plopping back in his seat. "That's enough. Sit down."
I deadpan. "Uh, you were the one who hit him..."
"Hey, Master," Gin-san says, ignoring me and talking to the old man who both runs the stall and cooks the food. "Give him something that reminds him of his mother's cooking."
"Now how the hell do I do that?!" The old man demands.
"Speaking of his mother's cooking, there's nothing better than Digestive Biscuits!"
"What kind of mother are you talking about?!"
The samurai acts like he doesn't hear the old man and picks up the glass of water and downs it in an instant, calmly placing it on the table. Uh, Gin-san, you're being an obnoxious bum that hardly makes sense again...
"Hasegawa-san," Gin-san starts. "It's okay to have a code of honor...and to live by it...but if you can't get anywhere because of it, it might not be a bad idea to reverse course."
Gin-san grabs the cup and takes another sip of water - that was just replenished by the old man, mind you.
"Why not break all the rules?" Gin-san suggests, now staring at the DORK with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Along the way, there'll become a point where you'll finally find something that matters to you more than your code, right? After that, you can wear your sunglasses any time you want..."
"Gin-san," I mumble, taking another sip of tea. "Tea-kun says 'you wise, man. You wise.'"
"...Hasegawa-san," Gin-san mutters. "...Just don't become a delusional guy like Len."
...Delusional?
What's he talking about? Tea-kun asks. I shrug.
He's Gin-san, I answer. He says stupid stuff that he thinks sound smart.
Ah...
Into the World of Gintama
"You've been here for a long, long time now," the Taker starts, smiling warmly. "How does it feel - knowing that this is all just fiction, after all?"
I smile a little dazedly, looking up at the red ceiling with all the little red books. Matsurika stands beside the old man, face as emotionless and void as ever.
"It...doesn't matter if this isn't reality or not," I answer finally. "As far as I'm concerned, this is my reality. Shinpachi-san is like the nagging, overprotective big brother...Kagura-chan is like the blunt, mean, yet caring older sister...and Gin-san...I don't really know what he is..."
"Oh?" He looks puzzled by this. "Why is that?"
"He's way too young to be a dad...but I don't see him as a brother..."
It's strange. I really don't know what Gin-san is to me. An uncle? No. All I know...is that he's an important person to me. He's...
"He's my role-model," I mumble, smiling again. "Ignoring all of his awful habits, his good ones...are nice. I'd really like to be like him one day."
The Taker smiles at this; a grandfatherly smile. A kind, warm smile that shows no ill-intent whatsoever. That's why I come here as often as I do...because I know that I won't be judged, no matter what I say.
...That's something that's different from the real world...
"...What about..." He frowns. "...Your real family..."
I frown, too. I don't like thinking of that. I don't like thinking of them at all, because even though they have no idea that their real son is gone, I still miss them. I miss them so much...so much that whenever I truly start thinking of them...
Suddenly, Matsurika steps forward. I stiffen, waiting for an attack...but she just gently sticks out her finger and wipes a tear away from my eye. I'm left speechless by the fact that I was crying and didn't even realize it, and by the fact that Matsurika of all people is trying to comfort me.
"I can still hear your thoughts, idiot," she mumbles in complete monotone. I look at her questioningly, but she doesn't give a reason as to why she did what she just did. Man, this feels like some sort of premise for an anime...
The Taker's very amused. "Ohohoho~! Well, we'll stop here for now. I'll see you next time, Jalen!" He waves happily. "Bye bye~!"
I force a smile and wave back, my vision starting to blur. "Bye-nii..."
As I began to awake, I can hear Shinpachi-san screaming something that my tired ears can't quite catch yet. I can hear Kagura-chan say something, another scream from Shinpachi-san, and then the loud sound of glass cracking.
That's when I fully begin to see clearer. I sit up in the couch, looking around to see what's going on. Shinpachi-san on the floor is the first thing I see, broken glass around his bleeding head. Oh, my...
Kagura-chan's just staring down at him dully while Gin-san is at his desk, silently looking out the window. Ummm...
"What...happened to Shinpachi-san?" I ask cautiously.
"He was screaming too much." Kagura-chan waves the unconscious teen off. "Irritating people get hit in the head with vases. Uh-huh!"
Shinpachi-san suddenly jumps up from the ground and points accusingly at Kagura-chan, who's now picking her nose. "YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT'S IRRITATING, YOU FOREIGN ALIEN BITCH!"
"Is you mad or naw?"
"DON'T start, Len-kun!" The glasses-wearing-boy rages. "I'm furious! You don't know how it feels to get hit in the head with a vase! I probably have a concussion!"
Gin-san snorts. "Don't fall asleep, then." Aha...
"WHY DON'T YOU ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF STARING OUT INTO SPACE?!" Shinpachi-san demands, face red. Or maybe that's the blood? "Seriously, you look like some sort of tsundere from those romance novels."
"Why do you kids always go to mommy for help?" Gin-san asks in a high-pitched tone. "Sorry, brats, but mommy has a life too, y'know."
"YOU'D BE A HORRIBLE PARENT! AND DON'T JUST MAKE USELESS STUFF UP LIKE THAT!"
And that's how our days usually went. Gin-san would sit at his desk and either whine about being bored, sleep, drink strawberry milk, or re-read his manga...again. Kagura-chan would verbally abuse Shinpachi-san, then go to physically abusing him, then end it with mentally abusing him. It got so bad that Shinpachi-san would try to hit Kagura-chan...but to no avail. Seriously, it's the thought that counts, though. The Yato girl would make him so mad that he'd just start cursing profanities here and there, and then refuse to clean up. Which sucked, because this house gets dirty quickly.
When I brought up that Kagura-chan picks on Shinpachi-san because she must like him, she began directing her abuse to me. Shinpachi-san gave a silent thank you, to which I just nodded. I mostly did it because he was getting waaay too loud. And Tea-kun and I can only take so much of his incessant screaming. When I wasn't arguing with Kagura-chan, I was either napping, drinking Tea-kun, reading Catching Water, or going to the park (the red head followed me every time, obviously).
We also got two jobs. Nothing too exciting, though. Just picking weeds out of a yard and painting a fence. Just grunt work, which is what we're supposed to usually be doing since we're an odd jobs. Not catching alien pets or becoming terrorist for a day. Anyway, we got a bit of money from those two jobs and celebrated a with fried rice and shrimp. Maybe that's why we hardly have any money left over after the month? As soon as we come upon it, we spend it...
Whatever.
After a week of just normal things going on, I was getting a bit bored. Arguing with Kagura-chan was losing it's charm, and Gin-san would hardly - if ever - let me read his manga. I was done with Catching Water, but Lilyjay was already checked out by someone. And I was not going to a concert with Shinpachi-san. Just...no.
...I noticed that I hadn't seen the DORK in that whole week. A part of me wanted him dead, but another part of me - the weak part of me that still felt bad he was homeless - was a bit worried. Was he hurt? Was he sick? Was he dead? I wanted - and at the same time didn't want - him to be hurt, sick, or dead...but mostly, I just wanted something new to do. 'Cuz as I said earlier, I was bored.
...So, at the end of the week, when Gin-san gets off his lazy butt and heads outside, I instantly grab my Tea-kun and follow. It's a weekend, so Kagura-chan is sleeping in and Shinpachi-san seldom ever comes on weekends. Five days of our crazy antics a week is enough as it is.
"What're you doing following me, brat?" Gin-san questions, his tone a bored drawl. I shrug.
"I'm bored."
We continue walking at a normal pace, not really knowing where to go or what to do. Adults who actually have a destination in mind pass us by, while small kids run playfully pass us. It's a nice, calm, peaceful day. Eventually, we see a small yellow taxi parked on the road, and for some odd reason Gin-san walks directly to it. I follow, of course.
The silver haired samurai slides in the taxi, and I hop in next to him.
"We don't know where, but take us someplace," Gin-san drawls, stretching out in the seat like he owns the car. Uhhh... "We have nothing to do. Take us around anywhere for free."
"Are you kidding me? I'm on the job," is the reply we get back...from none other than the DORK! What the heck?
"H-Hasegawa-san, is that really you?!" I ask incredulously, looking up in the front seat to get a better look at his face. And lo and behold, there's the DORK! But, I don't even think I can call him a dork anymore. Instead of the nasty brown clothes he had on, he's now wearing a blue suit! And replacing those shady sunglasses are professional glasses!
He looks cleaner, more studious... He just looks completely different from how he did last week! What's going on?
"Wh-What are you doing?!"
"Huh? Len? You didn't know?" Gin-san scratches the back of his messy hair. "I thought Shinpachi told you... Hasegawa-san is now a taxi driver. Hooray," he drawls.
"Wow..." I seriously didn't think he had it in him to get a job. I thought he'd be a DORK for the rest of his life. Now, though...
"Speaking of which..." Gin-san leans over to the front seat, too. "How's your job?"
"It was fine until you two got in."
That's rude. Even with a job, he needs to know that the Yorozuya (minus Shinpachi-san) can turn him down in an instant. He needs not get all cocky.
"You looked like a dead man when I saw you the other day, but you look better now."
"Whatever. Nothing has changed." Hasegawa-san's glasses flash in the sun. "I changed my job, but I still don't have a purpose. I don't have a clear vision for my future."
"You're not the only one," I speak up. "As much as I know, being in the Yorozuya is gonna be my life. I like to think my future is unwritten, but..."
But I sorta do know the future. I just don't know what I'm going to do after the future. Will I go back home? Go to another anime? It's just...so complicated, thinking about the future.
"You shouldn't worry about that, little Yorozuya-kun. In this anime, your boss and I are the only one with cloudy looking eyes," Hasegawa-san reassures. I sweatdrop. Gin-san just blinks.
Well, then...
Hasegawa-san continues to drive the car down the road, no real destination in mind. Literally and figuratively, you could say.
Then, in the corner of my eye, I see someone standing on the sidewalk. Is he waiting for a taxi? Hasegawa-san must see him, too, because he suddenly slows down.
"Oh, here comes a customer," he says urgently. "Get out of my car, you two!"
"That's strike two of your rudeness, DO- uhh...Hasegawa-san..."
The former DORK doesn't respond. He turns the taxi and pulls up beside the soon-to-be passenger. Hasegawa-san turns his head towards the guy...blinks...and gulps. Gin-san leans up and looks out the window, too...and does the exact same thing as Hasegawa-san. Uhhh...
"What's so surprising, guys?"
I lean up and look out the window...and my whole body starts to shake in anger. In rage. In malice. It's him. It's that thing!
"Tea-kun and I are going to kill him..!"
Gin-san grabs me and pulls me down on the floor, Hasegawa-san bending down so we're basically having what looks like a group meeting.
"Why is he here?! What is he doing here?!" The taxi driver is freaking out.
"Start the car! I don't want to get in trouble!" The silver haired samurai is also freaking out.
"I'm killing him. Tea-kun is going to drown him, while I cut his body into sushi." ...I'm enraged. I never did get my revenge for that stunt it pulled..!
"Woah, woah, woah! What's with all the killing intent?!" Hasegawa-san asks in the high-pitched voice of his.
Gin-san gives a nervous smile, looking absolutely sick. "They...it's hard to explain..." Hard to explain my ass. That bitch tried to kidnap me! And I'm just going to return the favor.
"Hey." That thing bangs on the window. We all look up at the fat purple monstrosity, who just stares dully at us with small eyes. "Take me to Ueno Zoo. And make it snappy, please." Even saying please, the request comes off more as a demand.
I fucking hate that.
Prince Hata - the stupid prince - gets into the taxi - without asking, mind you - and sits in the back seat. I glare at him while Gin-san and Hasegawa-san peer over their seats fearfully, as if that Amanto scum could actually do something to us.
For those of you who don't know why I'm so angry at Prince Hata, refer to chapter seven. He ran over Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, Sadaharu, and I...then he tied Sadaharu to the roof of his car because he's apparently a God-Dog...and then because I was the only one conscious, he made his green assistant force me into their car to do who-knows-what to me!
If Gin-san hadn't saved me, I'd probably be dead. Or a sex slave. Which is basically dead.
And I want revenge. Oh, I want sweet, sweet revenge.
"Oh? Haven't I seen you three somewhere before?" The stupid prince asks. I'm tempted to lunge over and snatch that disturbing thing off of his forehead, but Gin-san suddenly grabs my head and pushes me out of sight.
"Hey-!"
"I don't know. Who are you? You have something nasty on your head," Hasegawa-san says, making his voice sound high-pitched. Is...he scared of that alien?
"Earthlings, um, all look like they've been sucking on lemons," Gin-san says this time, also disguising his voice. They're totally scared...
"Oh. I see. Fair enough."
He's really a stupid prince...
"Gin-san," I whisper harshly, grabbing his arm and squeezing it with my nails. He winces, quickly pulling his now red arm away. I give a flat stare. "I'm going to hurt him. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be dead. You need to let me hurt him!"
"Shut UP! If you touch a hair on his royal head, you'd be hunted like a dog and killed on sight! Just shut up! Forgive and forget, I always say!"
I just give a stubborn stare. "I know, but-"
"So, Hasegawa-san," Gin-san interrupts, grabbing my arm again and opening the taxi door. He gives me a nervous smile, basically telling me that there'll be trouble if I don't cooperate. "I have to go to an abacus class now. Have a nice day~!"
"Hey, WAIT!" Hasegawa-san screams, stopping Gin-san and I from running away by grabbing our arms. "Don't leave me alone! I'm begging you! Don't leave this old fellow all alone! I'm old! If I get too lonely I'll die!"
"What are you?! A hamster or something?!"
Prince Hata's getting impatient. "Hey, start the car already!"
"Y-Yes! I'm so sorry!"
Hasegawa-san gives us a look. A look that tells us if we don't stay, he'll never, ever forgive us. And honestly, I'm fine with that. The former DORK isn't exactly someone I like to be around. Although, Gin-san seems to give in slightly...and after one more request from the helpless man, he caves in and sits in the front seat. I...
I'm forced to sit in the back with the stupid prince, who keeps staring at me quizzingly. I'm urged to ring his neck, but Gin-san turns around and gives me a look.
Hurt him, and I hurt you.
The point gets across effectively, and as the car begins to drive down the road, I swallow down the urge to hurt the stupid prince and stare angrily out the window.
I hate this.
Seriously, this situation is a bit too extreme for my liking. Hasegawa-san and Gin-san are most likely both crapping their pants, because if Prince Idiot suddenly recognizes us, it's over. And it sucks even more because I'm really struggling not to just punch this bastard, and he keeps on staring at me like I'm the weird one. He's the one with purple skin and a weird antenna on his forehead!
I glare at him.
He continues to stare, only narrowing his eyes now.
...Y'know, it sucks to have your life hanging on a string. If he recognizes me, he'll recognize Gin-san, and then Gin-san will undoubtedly reveal Hasegawa-san's true identify.
Then we'll all be forced to commit seppuku.
I hear Gin-san and Hasegawa-san whispering to each other, but I can't distinguish any words. Annoyingly, Gin-san glances back at me, before looking back up ahead and talking again.
I hate him for making me sit by him. I hate him for not letting me attack this stupid prince.
"No, sir, uh-huh! Me scared...and lonely!" Hasegawa-san abruptly screams, sounding like a two year old.
"Why are you speaking like a foreigner now?!" Gin-san demands. Well, I guess that's another way to look at it...
The stupid prince continues to stare, eyes narrowed, humming to himself. Y'know, I'm done! I can't take this anymore! Gin-san said I can't hurt him, but I can sure tell him about himself!
"Why are you staring at me?!" I demand, glaring at him with all the fury I can muster. Gin-san instantly turns around and gives me a warning look, but I ignore it. "You keep on staring at me! Leave me alone, creep!"
"I'm not a creep! I'm a prince!" He responds angrily. "And I swear I've seen you somewhere before!"
"Well, you haven't. I've never seen you in my life." I turn away from him, staring back out the window. How far away is this zoo anyway? "Why is someone like you taking a taxi anyway?"
He grunts, finally turning away from me. "My stupid assistant had his driver's license suspended," he explains. "So I, a prince, have to take this dirty taxi."
"The bigger they are, the harder they fall," I mumble. "But honestly, you have less value than the bottom of my foot."
"Wha-?!"
In a flash, Gin-san is beside us...washing the stupid prince's hair..? Where did he get the water from? Where did he get the soap from? Why is he doing that?!
"Um, why are you washing my hair..?"
Gin-san avoids the question, giving me a dirty look. "Mr. President, what brought you to earth?"
"I'm not a president! What are you talking about?!" The stupid prince sighs, letting Gin-san continue to wash his hair and completely forgetting about me. "Y'know, I just wanted to see a panda all of a sudden- Ow! Ow!"
Gin-san accidentally puts shampoo in the prince's eyes, eyes glittering mischievously. I laugh loudly while he just nods at me.
"I'VE GOT SHAMPOO IN MY EYES! AUGH! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE, DIDN'T YOU?!"
"I see...you've come to see a panda, Mr. President? But don't be fooled. It's said that they eat only bamboo, but we never know what they really eat. They may even eat Shabu-Shabu."
Gin-san scrubs the shampoo more frantically, resulting in the soap covering the prince's entire head. He sputters and whines, but Gin-san doesn't let up. Drown him, Gin-san! Suffocate him!
"AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"
Hasegawa-san suddenly screams and stomps on the breaks. I hit the seat in front of me painfully, whining in pain. It hurts! Ow! What happened?!
I look up to see Hasegawa-san putting his head out the window, face morphed in anger and disbelief. "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-IDIOT! Are you trying to get yourself killed?! What were you thinking?!"
A guy in a pink kimono gets off the ground, brown and yellow hair on his head. He looks absolutely sick, and I don't even catch what Hasegawa-san mutters because the random guy rushes over and wraps his hands around our driver's neck! I-Is he going to kill Hasegawa-san because he almost ran him over?!
"Oh, Pops! This is an emergency! Please give us a ride!" The guy pleads, practically strangling Hasegawa-san!
"Ugh! I can't breathe! Please stop..!"
The man let's go of Hasegawa-san's neck and points behind him. I turn my head and hold in a gasp when I see a woman on the floor, writhing in pain, hand on her big belly. I-Is she p-pregnant?!
"Sachiko! My Sachiko has suddenly gone into labor!"
Everyone gasps in shock...but the stupid prince just screams. I turn to glare at him, but I'm suddenly backing away from him as he has the ugliest/scariest face in the world. His antenna has been pulled off by Gin-san - who's just staring at it in confusion - and bleeding. It's...frightening.
"AH! MY GOODNESS! MY CHARM POINT HAS BEEN PULLED OFF!"
"Oops! Because the car stopped suddenly, it accidentally fell off," Gin-san explains, still staring at the thing in his hand in bewilderment.
Seeing the stupid Amanto in pain brings me a new kind of joy, and a big grin shows on my face. "Gin-san, you're awesome!" I exclaim, jumping over and hugging him.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY! IT'S NOTHING TO CELEBRATE ABOUT! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?!" The stupid prince demands. "WITHOUT THIS, I LOOK LIKE A HUMAN! LIKE AN ASSISTANT MANAGER!"
"Don't worry. You look at least manager level."
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"
"You know what? It fell off so easily, so it must mean that you don't need it."
"Hey, you three!" Hasegawa-san stops our conversation, voice seriously serious. Aha. "There's a woman who's gone into labor! Gin-san, is there a maternity clinic nearby?"
"Nope. You'll have to turn back." Someone's a bit indifferent about all this.
Hasegawa-san looks to the floor, sweat dripping down his face. "Tsk. Then we should go back..."
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Prince Hata screams loudly, waving his arms around incredulously. "I LOSE MY CHARM POINT AND NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK?! GIVE ME A BREAK! ALRIGHT, THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS TAKE ME TO THE DAMN PANDA!"
"Shut the hell up!" I yell back. "You're really pissing me off! A baby's about to be born, so can you not be a self-centered bastard and shut up?!"
"YOU SHUT UP! WHO CARES ABOUT UPPITY, HAIRLESS MONKEYS?! I REALLY DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO ONE OR TWO HUMAN BABIES! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?! I'M...I'M..!"
I don't know what overcomes me. A feeling of malice, rage, and hate takes over my body, and before I know what's going on, my arm is moving up...and then down.
Tea-kun is a inch away from being bashed into the stupid prince's eye when Gin-san abruptly grabs my wrist, stopping me from disabling the Amanto. His eyes narrow, but a feeling of understanding settles between us.
Nonetheless, I struggle against his hold. "Let go, Gin-san!" My eyes land on the stupid prince who looks terrified in front of me. "Doesn't matter if you're dealing with humans or Amanto, anyone who refuses to listen to reason deserves to be socked! He'll continue to treat us like mindless monkeys!"
I struggle more, and Gin-san starts to loosen his hold. Yes. Yes, I'll kill him. Before I can hit the alien, Hasegawa-san's voice cuts through the tense silence.
"Cut it out. What do you think you're doing to the Prince?" He asks, turned away from us. Is he just going to let this thing have his way? "I understand, Prince. You'll be happy if you see a panda, right? I just remembered there's a panda nearby, actually."
What is this guy saying?! He's really giving in?!
Prince Hata, still trembling, turns to look at Hasegawa-san. "What? Really? Where?"
"Just look at your face in the mirror tomorrow!" Hasegawa-san suddenly turns around and punches the shit out of Prince Hata! The alien flies past me and through the window, glass shattering everywhere! Gin-san and I are both gaping as the Amanto flies through the air and hits the ground with a sickening splat.
Hasegawa-san turns back around and slowly takes off his glasses. He ruffles up his hair and takes out a familiar pair of shades, placing them on his face. Looking out the window, he starts talking to the couple on the ground.
"Hey, you hoodlum couple! My cab's suddenly empty. You need a ride?"
"Pops!" The guy calls out tearily. "I owe you one!" The pregnant lady smiles thankfully, still hurting.
As Hasegawa-san takes out a cigarette, I can't tell but feel he hit Prince Hata so I wouldn't get in trouble. He...he basically sacrificed his future to save mine...that's...what I think...
"Hasegawa-san," I mumble, looking away embarrassingly. I can feel his eyes on mine through the mirror. "T-Tea-kun says you're better as a DORK, I-I guess..."
I can imagine him smiling in response. "I know that."
Into the World of Gintama
Kagura-chan and I are back at the Oedo Park, sitting on the bench. Sadaharu's out playing and scaring kids, running around wildly. Kagura-chan's just staring out into space while holding her umbrella. I'm reading LilyJay now, Tea-kun in my left hand. And beside us is, you guessed it, Hasegawa-san.
"Hey, old man!" Kagura-chan calls out, referring to Hasegawa-san. "I haven't seen you in a while. Why did you come back here?"
"Hm..? Because I was fired again."
"Why were you fired?"
"Oh? Because...I was true to myself." He takes out the cigarette, smiling. "But, I'm not really disappointed. I may be a hard case, but I am what I am. I've decided to live my life the way I want."
Kagura-chan hops off the bench, and I instinctively hop off as well.
She deadpans. "Don't go thinking you're all cool just because you call yourself a hard case, you jobless loser!" She turns around, walking away. "Let's go, Sadaharu!" She then waves back at Hasegawa-san. "See ya, delusional old reality-ignoring knucklehead. Or DORK for short."
With that, Sadaharu and her are gone. I can tell Hasegawa-san's smile is strained. Quickly, I turn around and smile.
"Thanks...for everything."
He smiles back. "No problem, little Yorozuya-kun..."
And with that, I take a sip of Tea-kun and walk out the park, huge grin planted on my face.
Mr. Raindrop, fallin' away from me now
Mr. Raindrop, fallin' away from me now
Mr. Raindrop, fallin' away from me now
Mr. Raindrop, fallin' away from me now
Do you know how much you mean to me?
Why must you leave?
I'm just a flower on a tree.
Why must you leave?
Mr. Raindrop, fallin' away from me now
Mr. Raindrop, fallin' away from me now
Mr. Raindrop, fallin' away from me now
Author's Notes: I didn't know how to end it, so that'll have to do. And as always, the ending is half-assed, because I was losing my motivation. ╮(╯_╰)╭
I...actually don't know what to do with this story. I like it. I really, really do. But...but I'm so focused on my other ones that...that I just forget about this one.
...Well, I guess time will tell. Bye nii~