A/N 1: Wow, such amazing reviews guys- keep them coming! I really love to know what you all think. Some of you are very insightful, some of you are just plain hilarious (SalGersGirl I am talking to you! :-p)
As I can't PM you, thank you to Frenchy, Eyes, T, sah, anon and myvi for your comments :-)
A/N 2: First day of the new job today, post crazy training. It didn't seem to go too badly... unless I was doing everything wrong :-/ Nice treat when I got home though- Idina Menzel on Ellen was on over here today. Man she is so adorable, she talks really fast and babbley like Lea. Weird how alike those two are... Lea is a little hotter though.
Quinn's POV
Breadsticks is far from my favourite place in the world, or even in Lima for that matter but I have to admit that tonight I am having fun. After our almost altercation earlier Santana has easily fallen back into our usual banter and unconventional way of interacting with one another. Rachel has been excitedly talking to Brittany most of the evening about how Brittany and Mike's dancing really is essential to our winning Nationals this year. As Brittany's face lights up at Rachel's words and enthusiasm I see Santana actually smile genuinely at Rachel and for the first time in a long time I feel like a carefree teenager.
This whole evening has been easy with relaxed conversation and effortless banter, with Rachel's side flush against my own as I hold her hand beneath our table. I smile to myself as I think of the sweet smile that Rachel had given me when at the beginning of the evening I had reached over and taken her hand in mine, threading our fingers together snugly. I seem to have been doing an awful lot of smiling this evening, especially right now as Rachel's expressive face lights up as she talks with Brittany excitedly.
"Are you going to introduce me to your friends Quinn?"
I tense up immediately, my smile instantly vanishing. I look up to see my father's face and automatically drop Rachel's hand from my own. I feel a pang in my chest at the look of hurt that flits across her face.
"Daddy." I greet awkwardly, still too stunned to say anything else.
"Well? Where are your manners young lady?" He scolds. "I am sure your mother and I raised you better than this." He tells me sternly.
"Sorry Sir." I apologise automatically, blushing profusely as I glance at my friends. "Umm, you have already met Santana and Brittany." Several times. "We were on Cheerios together."
"Oh yes." My father says coldly, his expression turning frosty. I know that he does not recall the previous times that he has met the girls but I can tell from his hostile expression that he has heard the rumours about them.
"A-and this is Rachel." I stutter anxiously.
"Rachel...?"
"Rachel Berry." Rachel supplies as she holds her hand out politely.
"Berry?" My father asks, his hostile expression turning unpleasant.
"Yes sir." Rachel says softly as she awkwardly drops her hand that my father had so rudely ignored.
"Quinn may I speak with you?"He says sternly as he turns his disapproving gaze onto me.
"No." I reply stubbornly. "You can talk to me later when I get home, unless you would rather have the conversation right here?"
"I did not raise you to be so insolent Lucy Quinn Fabray. You will come home with me right now." He snarls demandingly and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise at the tone of his voice.
"I'm staying here." I tell him defiantly as I determinedly look him in the eye. I sit back down and take Rachel's hand back in my own to draw strength from her. I can see from the fury that crosses my father's face that he caught the motion.
"Don't make a scene." My father warns in a threatening tone.
"You are the one making a scene." I growl, barely containing the quiver in my voice. "I am just trying to have a meal with my friends."
"Your friends?" He asks in a disgusted tone as he glances at Santana and Brittany. "I am not sure that I approve of the company that you are choosing." The look he levels in Rachel's direction makes my whole body tense up as I hold on desperately to the urge to cause him any amount of pain that I possibly can. I can feel my anger rising fast out of control as he openly insults my friends, insults Rachel. I know that I have to reign in my reaction but the urge to defend Rachel, to protect her is flaring up so intensely that I am literally panting from the exertion of holding in my anger.
"You will come home with me now!" My father demands in a low tone.
In, out, in, out. I focus on breathing as I desperately reel in the need to inflict pain on my arrogant asshole of a father. I focus on the feel of Rachel's small hand in mine and the way that her thumb brushes soothingly over the back of my hand. I feel my body begin to finally relax a little.
"I have my car here." I argue tiredly, my ire officially draining from my body. "And I'm their ride, I can't just leave three young girls stranded."
I stare at him challengingly. I know that he likes to be seen a certain way and that no matter how much he disapproves of my friends he can't let me leave them here without damaging his precious image.
"Fine, you may take them home first." He concedes as though he is so charitable.
Yeah, real fucking hero.
"But I expect you home in half an hour, any later..." He trails off, leaving his threat unspoken.
"Yes Sir." I mumble dejectedly, hating how he always seems to have this control over me whether I like it or not.
My father finally leaves but my tension has remained. I look everywhere but at my friends as we leave, unable to look anyone in the eye. I feel embarrassed and humiliated, and worst of all I feel as though I have let them down.
"Q." Santana reaches out a hand to halt me as I hurry towards my car. "Quinn." She tries again, this time pulling me round to face her. "Britt and I can just call her Mom to come and get us," she offers gently. "That way you and Rachel can at least have some alone time before you have to go home."
I blanch at the very thought as my stomach churns up in knots. I can't even look Rachel in the eye right now, let alone spend any "alone time" with her. I just feel so ashamed. Ashamed of who I come from, ashamed of my inability to stand up to my father, my inability to protect her.
"Its fine San, I'll take you." I say quickly as I avoid her eyes. "Let's go."
I swiftly get into my car before any further objections can be raised.
The whole car ride is awkward to say the least. After the first few minutes they all stop trying to get me talk and the car falls silent. As we reach Brittany's house Santana gets out with her, both bidding us good night and I can't help but notice that they both seem relieved to be getting out of the car.
Rachel and I both remain silent the whole way to her house but I can tell from the way that she is fidgeting that she is fighting the urge to fill the silence. As I pull up outside her house Rachel reaches over and takes my hand in hers.
"Quinn?" She says softly. "Quinn honey can you please look at me?" She pleads desperately and hearing her sad tone I know that I cannot possibly deny her.
Slowly I move my eyes and raise them to meet hers. Rachel lifts a hand and strokes the side of my face as our gazes meet. Her face is so caring and tender that it makes me need to look away, it makes me need to break. Her eyes search mine as she gazes at me so lovingly, so tenderly that it makes my heart hurt.
"Good night Rachel." I whisper brokenly as I avert my eyes.
"Good night Quinn." Rachel says softly as she presses her lips softly to my cheek and holds a kiss there for a long moment. I close my eyes against the threatening tears as I savour the feel of her close to me. I try to commit the feel of her lips, the sweet smell of her skin and softness of her hair to memory as though I will never experience them again.
I pull away as soon as I see that Rachel is safely in her house and make the dreaded drive home. As I pull into the driveway I shut off the engine and steel myself for what is to come. With a weary sigh I sneak into the house as quietly as possible and make a beeline for the stairs. I make it halfway up before I hear my father's voice.
"Quinn I would like to speak with you." He says sternly.
I sigh resignedly and trudge back down the stairs to face him. I stand silently, staring at him expectantly as I wait for him to speak.
"Now Quinn you know that when it comes to your choice in friends, I really don't approve of their kind."
"And what kind is that?" I snap irritably, instantly losing my composure.
"Sinners!" He yells. "They will fill your head with ideas and lead you astray Quinn. Judging by your back talk they have already begun to do so."
I clench my jaw and glare at him, willing myself desperately to stay calm.
"Now Quinn I thought that your mother and I had raised you better than this but it seems that your life decisions thus far have been somewhat... questionable."
"My life decisions?" I question through gritted teeth.
"Your priorities, your... friends," He sneers in disgust. "Letting that boy get you pregnant-"
"Don't you dare!" I yell fiercely at him, my whole body shaking with rage.
"I tell you it is a good thing you gave up your bastard child if this was the life and type of people you would have brought it into."
"Don't you dare bring Beth into this." I growl angrily. I can feel my blood boiling as I get up in his face, fists clenched so tightly that my nails are probably drawing blood where they are digging into my palms. "You don't get to mention her to me, not ever!" I yell furiously.
"I will not have you speak to me this way young lady." My father yells back, his face red with fury. I take a few steps back at his tone as a pang of fear ripples through me. "I am your father and you will respect me."
"Respect is earned not demanded." I say in a quiet tone and immediately wish that I had kept my mouth shut as he advances on me. I flinch as he comes to a stop in front of me, expecting the worst.
"I don't want to see your face again tonight." He says with a thick edge of warning. The look in his eyes sends another ripple of fear through me.
"Not a problem." I say more bravely than I feel as I turn and head upstairs to the sanctuary of my room.
Quinn's POV
As I lie on my bed surrounded by darkness I realise how cold and sterile even my sanctuary in this house is. It makes me long for the warmth of the Berry home, the comfort of Rachel. I wrap my arms around myself, wishing desperately that it were Rachel's arms instead.
When I finally hear my father go to bed I wait for about half an hour and grab a warm hoodie and light blanket, slip on my shoes and slowly, silently sneak down the stairs and out of the house.
As I pull up outside of Rachel's I look up at the darkened house sadly. I am not ready to see Rachel yet, I am still not sure if I can look her in the eye. And besides it is much too late to go waking up her whole household. For now being here, being close to her is enough to offer some comfort. I pull my blanket up over me as I shiver slightly. Dawn is almost breaking by the time I finally fall asleep.
A/N 3: Aww Quinn :-( Why do I do these things to you? I am sorry baby, come here and let me cuddle you :-p