Chapter 5

Reminders

I broke down. The internal dam collapsed, and my tears flowed. I had been so confident that Ary and her family were vampires. My subconscious knew Ary couldn't be a vampire, and yet I ignored the signs. Her eyes were blue—not red or gold—and her skin did not glitter in the sunlight. Why did I force myself to ignore the obvious? Had the Cullens' departure forced me to look for hope in all the wrong places?

"Bella," Ary's voice was now soft as she caressed my shoulder. "Please look at me."

I was terrified to look at her. Just minutes earlier, she had become someone else entirely. Her blue eyes had contorted to a bright yellow, and she had snarled at me. I warily lifted my head.

Ary's eyes were wide, and her arms were trembling. There was a cautiousness that had overtaken her. The confident Aryana McRae no longer sat before me. This new girl was afraid.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you, Bella. I shouldn't have let myself get so angry." Her brow was indented, and her lips pulled up in a disgusted grimace.

"No, it's my fault." My chest heaved as I spoke through my sobs. "I shouldn't have continued to press you." I sighed. "What did I say, Ary? I mean, what was it that angered you?"

Ary let her gaze fall to the ground, and her jaw tightened. "Bella, my family is my life," she said between clenched teeth. "I do not share information about them with anyone. I've also never been partial to people demanding things of me." She leaned back against the sofa and exhaled slowly. "I don't expect you to understand that kind of loyalty." She shook her head and closed her eyes again.

"I think I understand more than you give me credit for," I said, sighing loudly. I knew perfectly well what it meant to keep secrets. The Cullens were vampires, and I couldn't tell anyone.

Ary opened her eyes. "Oh?"

I shrugged and turned away from her. We fell into a silence that screamed louder than Ary had a few minutes ago. The memory of her eyes, yellow and penetrating, caused me to shiver. I glanced from one side of the room to the other, anything to avoid her eyes. I knew she was curious about what I had just said, but I didn't want to explain why she should give me more credit. I still hadn't made up my mind about whether I should tell Ary about the Cullens.

"So, Bella," Ary spoke, finally. "Are you going to give me some answers, or is this conversation going nowhere?" Ary's eyes narrowed as they poured over my face, searching for knowledge.

Another exasperated sigh escaped my lips. "I don't know exactly where to start, Ary," I said reluctantly. I refused to talk to any of my friends at school—Jessica, Angela, Mike—and they had known me longer than Ary.

"Try from the beginning," Ary said gently. "Tell me everything that made you…the way you are."

She slipped up off the floor and onto the sofa.

I sighed loudly. This secret is not just mine, it is shared. Telling Ary about everything would be breaking the confidence of those that I still care about, of the rest of the Cullens. I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Ary, I don't think I can."

Ary sighed and cocked her head. "Bella, how about a little exchange?" I narrowed my eyes curiously. "I will answer one question about myself if you will tell me your story."

I took a deep breath as I considered her offer. Though I wanted to ask her so many questions, I was still uncomfortable about exposing my past.

Ary sensed my inner turmoil. "Bella, you don't have to tell me anything if you're not comfortable." She smiled, her eyes softening.

"So, I can ask you any question?" I had to know my limitations. I wasn't completely committed to this exchange, but I was thinking about it.

Ary pursed her lips as her eyes narrowed. "I will answer any question that is not directly related to my family." Her condition lowered my spirits.

Since Ary, by her own admission, was not a vampire, my speculation had returned to her family, who were off limits.

I sighed, continuing to think. I reviewed my previous conversation with Ary, searching for something to ask. I sucked in a deep breath as I thought of the perfect question. "Okay, Ary, it's a deal."

She smiled, satisfied. "All right, Bella, you first. Ask away."

I exhaled loudly and looked at Ary. "Earlier, I asked you how old you were." She nodded. "You said you were eighteen. Ary, how long have you been eighteen?"

Ary's eyes closed as she chuckled. She slowly reopened them and her smile broadened. "A very long time, Bella."

I nodded, a little confused. Can't she give me a precise number? "All right, can you give me a date?"

Ary's eyes saddened, and her smile retreated. "I wish I could, Bella. I don't know myself."

My neck jerked back as my brow dented. "You don't know your own birthday?"

She shook her head. I sighed. I guess it's my turn now. "Before I tell you this, Ary, I need you to promise to be open-minded and not write me off as a freak."

Ary cocked her head to one side—just like the first time I saw her at lunch—and half-smiled. "Bella, you just saw my eyes change from blue to yellow, and you're worried about me thinking you're a freak?"

I was about to speak when a memory stopped me short. I saw an image of a perfect boy and an average girl sharing secrets, and all at once, I heard a voice. I tell you that I can hear voices, and you think you're the freak. I wrapped my arm around my stomach.

"That doesn't help, you know. It only makes it worse."

Ary's words confused me. "What do you mean?" I stared at her, still feeling the pain swelling.

She simply sighed. "Nothing." Her demeanor changed, and a smile spread across her face. "Now you've heightened my curiosity. I hope your story is as interesting as you make it out to be. I swear not to think any less of you, Bella."

I took a deep breath and began. "I moved here almost a year ago, from Arizona, to live with my dad. I thought I was going to hate it here, and for a short time I did. That was before I met the Cullens." I paused to catch my breath as the pain began to resurface and noticed that Ary had tensed up.

Her jaw was tight, her eyes were blazing, and her hands gripped her knees with tenacity. As much as I wanted to ask her about her change in demeanor, I continued.

"They seemed perfect: beautiful, smart but very reclusive. I found out they had all been adopted by a doctor, Carlisle Cullen, and his wife, Esme. I didn't think anything of them until I met the youngest, Edward."

"At first, I thought Edward hated me"—I cringed at the memory of his black eyes—"but he softened, and we became very close. To be honest, I fell in love with him, and I thought he had fallen in love with me. However, the Cullens had a secret, one that they told no one. I figured it out after I talked to some of my friends down at the La Push Indian reservation. They referred to the Cullens' as the 'cold ones'. I researched online and found out the meaning of the 'cold ones'. The Cullens were all vampires—cold-skinned and blood-drinking. They weren't like others of their kind, though. They survived on the blood of animals rather than humans. They considered themselves vegetarians.

"Edward tried to push me away for my safety, but I couldn't stay away from him. Edward finally decided that he couldn't stay away from me any longer, and we began to spend every day together. Last spring break, I got into trouble. I was hunted by a tracker named James." Ary's head snapped up when I said his name, but once again I ignored it. "I fled to Phoenix with two of the Cullens, Alice and Jasper. But I ended up facing James by myself. He had planned to film my death and leave it for Edward. Edward saved me, and his family killed James.

"We had a calm summer, and I thought everything was perfect. But on my 18th birthday, just a few months ago, Edward's brother Jasper tried to attack me after I got a paper cut. A week later, Edward broke up with me and left with his family. He said that they would not be coming back." My voice faltered on the last word. The pain in my chest riveted throughout my entire body. I winced in agony, almost crying out. Ary leaned forward, reaching out to me; I shook my head and refused her help. "I tried to follow him when he left me, but he was too fast. I was found a short time later by some friends of Charlie, and by that time, the Cullens were already gone."

I took a deep breath and slowly looked at Ary.

Ary's face was unreadable; she appeared lost in thought, staring off into space. We sat in a dull silence for what seemed like forever. I averted my eyes, hoping she didn't think I was completely insane. When I finally returned her gaze, her demeanor had changed once again.

Her brow was deeply furrowed, and her face was incredulous. "Bella." Ary spoke my name hesitantly. "When you saw me at school, on my first day, why did you stare at me? You looked like you were trying to figure something out. What was it?"

The question caught me off guard. I wasn't aware that she had been analyzing my reactions. Now is not the time to hold back, Bella. "When Edward broke up with me, I had gone on a walk with him in the woods." I spoke despite the rising pain and anguish; the memory was torturing me. "I couldn't keep up with him, and I fell and sort of passed out in the forest. When I woke up, I saw someone staring at me. Someone with pale blue eyes, like yours."

I shifted my eyes to the floor. I sounded like a lunatic, and I knew it wasn't long before she would leave and tell her family about the 'crazy girl'. I was surprised by what happened next.

"I knew it," Ary said under her breath.

I glanced at her and saw her smiling. "What?" I asked, not sure what she meant.

Ary sighed and looked at me; the look in her eyes was indescribable. "I knew you saw me, Bella," she said. "I just couldn't understand why you didn't run from him."

The world came to a crashing halt, and I almost fell to the floor. A million questions raced through my mind as I straightened myself.

Ary could see my internal struggle. "Calm down, Bella," she said slowly and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Just breathe!" The warmth that exuded from her hand was so soothing. "You have no idea how many questions you just answered. That explains why you were alone with him." Her voice was full of fulfillment. She appeared to have had an epiphany.

"Wait, what?" I said, confused. "How long were you watching us?" I was demanding again, and I didn't care.

Ary shook her head as laughter pealed from her. "Bella, you're taking this the wrong way," she said. "I was not stalking you—I was merely curious."

"But I don't understand," I said, becoming frustrated. "Why were you there to begin with?"

Ary stopped smiling and looked like she was strongly thinking about something. Finally, she took a deep breath and exhaled. "I want to answer all your questions, Bella," Ary said seriously. "Unfortunately, the answers are not entirely mine to give."

I groaned. Great, we're back to square one.

Ary threw her hands up in defense. "But," she said, "maybe if I asked their permission, it would be different."

My eyes narrowed as I contemplated just what she meant.

"Bella, would you like to come to my home for a little history lesson?" Ary asked, raising one eyebrow as she spoke.

"A history lesson?" I wasn't sure what she meant, but I wouldn't refuse. If going to Ary's home meant answers, then so be it. "What time?"

Ary frowned as she thought. "My family does not come home until much later. How about this - meet me down the street at midnight?"

"Okay," I said, nodding. I looked at the clock to check the time and realized that Charlie would be home any moment. "Um Ary, my dad…"

"I know," she said, nodding. "I'll use the back door."

"Wait," I said. I glanced out the window to see the normal weather, a thick coat of rain. "Don't you need a ride? It's raining." She had mentioned something about Skye being in the neighborhood.

Turning, she laughed, "Don't be ridiculous, Bella." I'll be home in five minutes on foot."

"Where do you live?" Among all the other questions I had asked, I had never inquired where her family's house was.

"We live fifteen miles south of town, right off the highway," she said.

I was stunned, that was a twenty to thirty minutes drive. "How can you get there in five minutes?" I asked, confused by her sudden burst of laughter.

I had only known one person who could, but he was not a human.

Ary tossed her raven hair back as she smiled. "I said I wasn't a vampire, Bella," she spoke between chuckles. "But I didn't say I was human." With that she disappeared out the back door.

I was still standing there, mouth open in awe, when Charlie pulled into the driveway. The sound of him slamming the car door shook me from my stupor. I pulled out my math book and settled down at the table as he wrestled with the lock.

"Bella, you home?" he called before I heard him take off his gun holster and coat.

"In here," I said. Why did my voice sound so diminished? Charlie walked through the door and attempted to smile at me. I didn't return the gesture. His smile retreated back to the modest frown.

"So how was school?" He asked the same question every day, and every day I would give him the same response.

"Fine," was all I said and resumed studying. Charlie sighed and moved to the fridge. I saw him pause out of the corner of my eye, contemplating something. Oh no, I thought, please don't try to make me hang out with anyone again. However, to my surprise, he just sighed again and dug

around the fridge. I decided not to push my luck any further, so I picked up my books and headed to my room.

Once upstairs, I threw my books on the floor and sat on my bed. It would be a long wait until midnight. I figured I could take a shower and think about changing my clothes. I don't know why, but I retreated to my desk. I let my eyes pour over everything there, looking for something to pass the time. I turned and stared at my CD player. All at once, the hole in my chest burned like a hot coal.

Not thinking, I pulled the radio off the desk and yanked the chord out of the wall. That's when it started; I was on a mission. There would no longer be music in my life. The beautiful symphonies, once uplifting and sweet, had turned to a bitter source of pain. I reached for my CD wallet and ceremoniously broke each CD, one at a time. With each broken disc, my pain numbed a little more. Suddenly, my memory sparked, and I remembered one musical detail. I didn't stop to think about it. I rushed downstairs, past a very confused Charlie, to my truck.

There it sat, my birthday present from one month ago, the shiny silver stereo. It had been so long since I wanted to hear music that I had forgotten about it. Now, as I stared at the gleaming metal attachment, the memories of that fateful night came flooding back to me. I remembered opening the package that held an empty box. It was a gift from them; they had installed it for me so that I couldn't take it back. I remembered the cut that set forth the devastating aftermath.

I pulled back the sleeve from my arm and stared at the light scar that streaked across my skin. Feeling the familiar pain begin to rise, I knew what I had to do. Running quickly, I found Charlie's toolbox, grabbing the first screwdriver I saw.

I sprinted back to my truck and jumped onto the seat, not stopping to think about it. I drove it into the side of the stereo and attempted to twist. The device didn't budge, so I pushed against the handle, allowing enough space to fit my fingertips in. I slid them in quickly but, as I let go of the screwdriver, the metal fabric bent back into shape around my fingers. I yelped in pain and quickly pulled them free, glancing down at my skin. A thin line of blood was starting to form. My anger rose, and I kicked the stereo with my foot. I heard a loud crunch. I glanced back at the shattered faceplate of the stereo. Now I was headed in the right direction! I kicked it again and again until a hole appeared in the side of the shiny metal. I fit my hand in and pulled with all my might, disregarding the metal shards pulling at my skin. I strained and yanked at the metal box, finally feeling some movement forward.

"Yes," I said to myself. I had moved the box enough to fit my hand behind the contraption, and I pulled at every cord I found that was attached to it. Finally freeing the last one, I got a good grip on it, planted my feet on both sides of the dashboard and tugged. The stereo flew out from the dashboard and hit me on the forehead.

"Ow," I moaned and rubbed my forehead. "Nice one, Bella," I said aloud.

I turned the stereo over and over in my hands. What should I do with it? Having it in the house would just add extra pain and memories. I looked at the trash cans and then back down to the stereo. I couldn't get rid of this—too many memories clung to it. Heading inside the house, I opened the door to my room, immediately looking for a place to stash it where it would be out of sight.

On the floor of my closet there was a black trash bag. Tossing the twisted mass of metal and wires in the bag, I quickly shut the door. It was done. I looked down at my fingers and my eyes widened. My nails were torn to hell, and there was a gash on my palm. I quickly rushed to the bathroom, taking a few minutes to disinfect and bandage my fingers. Glancing at the clock, I groaned in impatience, noticing that only an hour had ticked by.

I glanced at my books, lying helpless on the floor and rolled my eyes, realizing my only alternatives. I could study or I could make small talk with Charlie. I sighed and headed toward the top of the stairs, hearing the news from the television. I slowly made my way down towards a bad idea.

Charlie was stretched out on the couch, and he eyed me warily as I entered the living room and sat down on the chair.

"What are you watching, Dad?" I asked innocently.

"Just catching up on the news," he said, still eyeing me intently. "Did you want to watch something, Bella?"

"No, I was just bored of studying and thought I'd come in and watch TV with you for awhile." I attempted to smile, but it didn't come out too well.

He narrowed his eyes at me but didn't really put up a fuss.

He let his eyes trail between me and the television. "So, have you met the new kids yet?"

"New kids?" My voice came out more defensive than an actual question.

Charlie eyed me suspiciously, but I shot him a confused look, and he relaxed. "Yeah, some new rich family moved in a couple miles south of Forks," he said dismissively. "I heard they are going to Forks High. Have you met them yet?"

"Oh yeah," I said offhandedly. I couldn't hide anything from Charlie. "One of them is my new lab partner in Biology. She seems nice though."

"Humph," was all Charlie said. It sounded like he didn't like them, and I wondered what Ary's family had done to earn the scorn of Charlie Swan.

"What?" I asked, intrigued. "Don't tell me you don't like them already."

"It's not that, Bella." He sighed deeply. "There's something about them that rubs people here the wrong way."

"Just because they're not like the other boring people here," I said defensively, "doesn't mean that they're bad people."

"I didn't say that they're bad people, Bella," he said, trying to even the mood. "I'm just saying they're not what people are," he paused uncomfortably, "used to."

I was not having this. "Well, some of the kids at school are comparing them to the Cullens," I strained to say the last name.

Charlie paused and glanced at me, possibly wondering if I was going to break down. After a few seconds had passed, he exhaled a long breath. "The Cullens were different."

"How so?" I asked. I was beginning to get more forceful, almost like I was protecting the McRaes. This was a familiar feeling for me.

"Well, Dr. Cullen was much respected." Charlie made a valid point. I had not heard of anything that the McRaes had done just yet. Although the community had spread gossip about the Cullens, they'd respected Carlisle for his medical expertise. "I don't believe that any of the new family has any special skills that I am aware of."

"Well, they just got here," I said. I was getting a little annoyed with Charlie's prejudice against the new family. "How can you pass judgment without giving someone a chance to show what they can do?"

Charlie stared at me with his mouth open, and I realized that I had just spoken more words to him than I probably had in the past month all together. I quietly walked out of the room, ready to find something else with which to pass the time. Climbing the stairs, I looked towards the bathroom. If I'm meeting her family tonight, I should probably wash my hair.

I grabbed a towel from my room and headed towards the bathroom. I took an unusually long time, washing and brushing my hair. I glanced at my computer; Renee had probably emailed me again. I could do homework and get ahead at school or I could check my email and see what my harebrained mother was up to. I turned on my computer and it started to slowly connect to the internet. Sure enough, there was a new message from Renee.

Bella,

Hello darling, how is everything going? Tell me more about your new lab partner—I'm curious. How is Charlie? What's new in Forks?

I love you, Mom

I sighed. My mother was so silly but so endearing at the same time.

Mom,

Everything is fine here in Forks. Seriously, did you think anything would change? My lab partner's name is Aryana McRae. She and her family are new in town. They're a little odd but nice. I will let you know if anything changes.

Love,

-Bella

I glanced at the clock and groaned. Only an hour had crept by. I can't get ahead! I shut off my computer, and it hummed at me angrily. I walkedacross the room and picked up my book. I opened the first page andstarted reading, barely noticing the heaviness of my eyelids. I closed myeyes and dozed off into dreamland.

It didn't take long for my dream to begin where they had last left off. Walking in the forest looking for something, I couldn't see anything at all. Turning a corner, I ran smack into Ary. All at once, I felt someone grab me from behind and start to shake me vigorously. It was then that I heard my name being called: "Bella, Bella, Bella." I opened my eyes to find the room dark and Ary standing above me, shaking my shoulder.

"Ary," I said, groggily.

She smiled and shook her head. Suddenly she froze, before diving into my closet and pulling the door shut. The bedroom door eased open as my closet and pulling the door shut. The bedroom door eased open as Charlie peeked in.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked seriously. He began to glance around the room.

"Yeah," I said, still half-asleep. "I'm fine, Dad. What's wrong?"

"I heard someone talking to you," he said. "Or was that you?"

"Dad," I said, a little angry. "You woke me up for this? How can I talk to anyone? I'm asleep - I mean, I was." I glared at him in the shadows. I could barely make out his face, but I was sure that he was embarrassed.

"Well, I just thought," he stuttered as he talked. "I don't know. I'm sorry, Bella."

"It's okay. Dad," I said, feeling sorry for him, "I know you're just looking out for me." I quickly lay my head back down and hugged the pillow.

"Well, get some sleep kid," he said, trying to sound normal. "I'll see you in the morning." He shut the door, and I could hear him walk to his room.

Half a minute passed, my closet door slowly creaked open, and Ary exited slowly. "What time is it, Ary?" I asked in a hushed whisper. I hadn't had achance to look at my clock. Ary paused for a moment and then eased into a whisper.

"Bella, it's 12:45," she said, sounding a little annoyed. "Would you care to do this another night?"

"No," I said almost immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that I'd fall asleep. Do you still want me to meet your family?"

"Of course, I do. I'm just curious if you still want to."

"Then let's go," she said, pulling me up. "Thanks to your nap, we have to go out the window." I glanced at the open window at the end of my bed.

Before I could protest, Ary launched herself out the window. I moved warily to the window. How am I supposed to get down?

Ary was standing below the window with her arms stretched out to catch me. I groaned when the realization of Ary's words sunk in. Although she seemed strong, Ary's five foot, five inch frame suddenly appeared weak. I took a step away from the window. Heights were never really my thing.

"Is everything all right?" Ary's voice recalled my attention to the window. I turned to see her pulling herself back through the open window frame looking slightly annoyed.

"How did you get up here so fast?" My brain was slow with recent sleep.

Ary sighed heavily, looking at me like I was missing something. "Bella, trust me." In a swift motion, she dove backwards out the window. I rushed to the window only to find her waiting on the ground below. I took a deep breath and scurried out the window, closing it behind me. I shut my eyes tightly, pressed my arms against my chest and scooted off the edge. I felt myself fall, felt the wind rush briefly around me, but was caught by a strong force. Ary.

"Are you ready?" she asked, still carrying me.

"Let's go," was all I said as she tightened her grasp. The trees flew by in a blur, only a few seconds passing before she placed me back down on the ground by her car. I climbed into the passenger seat, and Ary took her position as the driver.

"Everything's going to be okay, Bella."

Author's Note: Repost