"Hey, Roxas."

Really? He shows up to my house covered in blood and dirt and all he can say is 'Hey, Roxas'?

"Axel, what the fuck – your hand!" I noticed his hand was practically shredded and was dripping blood. I even saw a little path of blood droplets leading up to my front door.

"Oh, this?" he pondered, lifting his hand to his face and not even looking remotely shocked. "Just a scratch."

"That's not 'just a scratch', you dumbass!" I shouted, grabbing his wrist and pulling him into my house. I slammed the door behind him and dragged him to the kitchen where I put his hand under ice water.

"Ow! It stings, Rox!" he whined, trying to pull his hand away. Surprisingly, I found the strength to keep his mattered hand under the water. I reached above the sink for the disinfectant and some bandages while the water got most of the dirt out of Axel's hand.

After a lot more bitching about the disinfectant stinging and telling Axel to stop being such a baby, I finally got his hand bandaged and had him promise he was going to go to a hospital or something to get it properly looked at. When the blood was cleared away, I noticed his hand was seriously bruised. He may have broken a few fingers – possibly his whole hand.

"Axel, what the hell did you do?" I asked, plopping on the couch after putting the first aid stuff away. Axel sat in the chair adjacent to me, not daring to touch his hand.

"I just had a little chat with Xemnas," he stated casually. "I think it went pretty well, actually."

"Axel! What the hell were you thinking! You could get expelled!" I shouted. Even I knew how important Axel was to the school. But despite that, it wouldn't change the fact that he attacked another student. That wouldn't go over so well.

"Relax, I made sure it was all in self-defense. I wouldn't risk my future over some bitch like Xemnas," he waved off, leaning back in the chair.

"But still, Axel. Why would you even?" As far as I knew, Axel had no reason to go after Xemnas. Xemnas never once even spoke to Axel – most likely in fear. So what reason would Axel have?

Axel sat up, looking me straight in the eye with total seriousness in his voice. "He went after my friends and got one of them to betray me. That was reason enough for me to kill him. He's just lucky I held back," he growled. I backed up a bit, my eyes widening. I've been watching Axel for quite a while now, and I just now realized how scary he could be. He realized I was frightened and sat back in the chair, apologizing.

"What made you hold back if you were that mad?" I honestly didn't take Axel to be the kind of guy that easily holds back when he's pissed.

"I just reminded myself that beating the shit out of him would pretty much just lower me to his level. Certainly wouldn't want to be compared to that, now would I?" he stated.

My next question was a little difficult to ask. 'Why come here after that instead of to your friends or a hospital? Why come all this way while you're in pain just to see me?' There was no specific reason for him to. He and I never spoke, never had any form of contact, and yet suddenly here he is – bloody and sitting in my living room chair. What was going through his mind is what I wanted to know. So I asked him. The answer shocked me.

"I wanted to see you."

Okay, this made zero sense. It felt like he was just fucking with me. Yeah, that's right. This is just some prank he decided to pull on the gay kid, ha. Oh, he's so funny. Well I'm not laughing. Yes, I have a crush on Axel. Yes, his words made my heart skip a beat. But no, I will not believe them for a second. I don't believe in anything anymore.

"…Bullshit."

"What?"

"That's bullshit!" I shouted, standing up. Rage was flaring in my eyes and I hoped he was scared. "Stop screwing around with me! I'm done with all your stupid pranks! I'm done with you seniors! I'm done with everything! Why can't you guys just leave me the fuck alone?! What did I ever do to you?!" I could feel tears stinging my eyes, but I couldn't tell why. There was no way in hell I was going to let this bastard see me cry. Covering my face, I ran past Axel and up the stairs, throwing myself into my room and locking the door.

I slid down against it, tears not stopping. Why was I so upset? This shouldn't be affecting me so much. Probably because I was tired. Tired of all the lies, the hate, the drama, the people. I was just tired of everything. I heard Axel running up the stairs and quickly finding my door, since it was the only one closed. He started knocking, asking me to 'please open up' and that he 'just wanted to talk.' Well I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see anybody. I just wanted everything to end.

I saw that I left the pills on my nightstand and was grateful I didn't have to bring Axel up here or anything. I crawled over towards it, tuning out Axel's frantic shouting and banging. Those pills. If I could just get those pills, I could crawl in bed and just sleep. Sleep and never have to worry about waking up again. Sucks to be Axel, though. He gets to watch me die. Then again, that would be the start of some awesome fucking payback for these bastards.

I slid the pills into my hand and sat on my bed. I just played with them for a moment, wondering how so much power over someone's life could be contained in such a small dissolvable tablet. It really was quite amazing. Axel's shouting suddenly stopped and it became deadly silent. Oh, I was so funny.

Maybe he decided to go home. He left me, just like everyone else. Didn't really surprise me. Now I could leave in peace. I, once again, slowly lifted the pills to my mouth, taking a slow, deep breath.

I was ready.

'Goodbye.'

Before I could, though, I heard something much larger ram against my door, scaring me and making me jump. The pills all fell out of my hand and scattered all over my floor. 'Shit!' I got off my bed and onto the ground, trying to gather up the pills as quickly as I could. The thing kept ramming against my door until it finally swung open and Axel toppled in, shouting in pain. He fell right on his shoulder and injured hand.

"Rox, what the hell, man? I just wanted to - " Axel stopped. He looked over to me, saw the pills in my hand and on the ground and froze. His eyes widened in terror as the realization of what I was doing finally came to light in his dim mind. "Roxas…"

"Axel, I'm fully aware of what's in my hands and what'll happen if I take them. Don't you dare try to stop me," I said determinedly with a controlled voice. I was already this far and I would be damned if I let someone like Axel stop me now.

"Roxas, I know you don't want to do this," Axel said, sitting up slowly.

"How the fuck would you know that?! You don't even know me! You have no reason to even be here!" I shouted, gripping the pills tightly in my fist. He's so fucking self-righteous! I really just wanted to punch his smug look right off his face. He had no right to tell me what I wanted to do.

"Roxas, please, you don't understand. I really do know you, you just don't remember," he said with a pained expression. I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about and I was done trying to figure this asshole out. I just wanted everything to go away!

"Stop fucking lying to me!" I unclenched my fist and threw my head back, about to just pop the pills in my mouth then jump out the window into my backyard. That seemed like a better plan.

I was just about to, when something hit my hand and the pills once again went flying across the room. I was pushed back onto the ground as something lean loomed over me. My head hit the floor and snapped up a bit, hurting my neck and the back of my head. I groaned in pain as my vision blurred for a moment before returning. When I got my focus back, I saw that it was Axel who was over me.

Tears were in his eyes as he pinned my wrists to the ground, his knees on either sides of my hips. I looked up to him in shock, utterly surprised by the red-head's actions.

"Roxas… I promised I would never lie to you…" he mumbled, grip tightening on my wrists and eyes squinted in pain. "I can't believe you would forget…"

"What am I supposed to remember? That you're a complete lunatic who doesn't know when to end his little games?" I remarked.

"Dammit, Roxas!" he swore before – and oh my god, I seriously never expected this – he crashed his lips unto mine.

A thousand questions ran through my mind, but I couldn't make any sense of them. Tears dripped onto my cheeks, but I took no notice to them. My mind was completely blank. Nothing made sense anymore. Why would Axel – fucking Axel – come to my house in blood, just to see me? Or better yet, why the hell was he fucking kissing me?

I started trembling and I could feel the tears I was holding back earlier return. I was scared. I was actually scared. And I didn't even fully understand why. Why? Why, why, why, why? Why?

Axel's lips were off mine as he looked into my wide, terrified eyes with sorrow. Why would he be the sad one? He's the one who was fucking with me! I should be sad! Sad that this shit was still going on – and in my own house, too!

"I'm sorry…" he whispered after a few moments of me staring blankly at him in fear. I blinked, snapping out of my trance. I wriggled my wrist a bit and Axel immediately let them go, but didn't sit up so I could get out from under him. So I was still trapped.

I started shaking even more and the tears wouldn't stop. I started hiccupping and sobbing and screaming as I lay on the floor, hiding my face in my sleeves. Axel just sat on top of me and watched me cry and, frankly, I didn't care.

I was just so done. Nothing mattered anymore. I was tired, depressed, furious; just downright miserable. And I finally had a chance to just end it all! Finally! But then this bastard had to come and ruin it!

I felt Axel lean over me again, putting one hand on the back of my head and the other supporting his upper body from falling on me. He was trying to give me a hug as I lay on the floor. It was awkward, but it was still some form of a hug. My face was buried in his shoulder, my still escaped tears staining his already dirty shirt.

"Roxas… Would you mind talking to me? Please? I just… I want to understand you. Give me that, and… and I'll leave you alone. I promise," he swore, his trembling hand gripping the back of my hand. That was all I had to do? Give him a little therapy session? I just had to do that and he would leave me alone?

Well. I had nothing else to lose.

I managed to calm down immensely as we sat on the couch in my living room. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water when I noticed the note my parents left on the fridge saying they wouldn't be back till tomorrow morning. Well, that would have been a nice wake up call.

I sat back down with Axel, who asked me if I was ready to answer his questions. I said yes, but only if he answered mine. He agreed.

"First of all," he started before falling silent. I gave him a moment before I coughed and he continued. "Why… Why are you trying to kill yourself…?" he practically mumbled.

Right to the point, eh? Well okay then.

"There's a lot of reasons. But I'll just give you the main one, simply because I would rather not get into my whole life story. Basically, I just see no point," I stated simply, sipping at my lukewarm tap water.

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

"Exactly that, Axel. I already said I wasn't giving you my whole life story. Now it's my turn." Axel sighed, giving up for now. I knew he was going to be rephrasing that question frequently. "Why did you say I don't remember anything? Is there really a reason, or…?"

If he was going to get straight to the point, so was I.

He looked away and turned silent. He seemed like he was shouldering a heavy burden, but showed no signs of wanting anyone to find out what it was. That only made me more curious. I nudged him once, trying to get him to answer the question.

"Roxas… There is a reason. But, it's not something I can tell you all at once. I can tell you something, though. But it probably won't answer much." Well, it's better than nothing. "How about this; if you promise not to try and kill yourself for a month, then I'll tell you all about that. After I tell you and you still want to… I… I won't stop you."

What was up with him and making deals?

Either way, it did seem fair. So I nodded, motioning with my hand for him to ask his question.

"…Are… Are you mad at me? For… For the k-…kiss?" he stuttered. Actually, I found it slightly cute. But I didn't let it get to me… much.

I was silent as I pondered that. On one hand, I was immensely pissed that he just kissed me out of the blur like that – especially since I considered it to be a game… Wait.

"Okay, can I ask my question instead? Depending on how you answer will affect my answer to your question… If that makes sense." Which it kind of didn't. But I hoped he understood what I was trying to say.

"So, you have two answers to my question?" he asked to clarify.

"More or less." Axel nodded in understanding and motioned back to me to ask my question.

"…Well… Why did you… kiss me?" He looked back at me, shocked. Was it really that hard a question? He seemed like he was waiting for me to say more and maybe elaborate on what I was asking, so I did. "I mean… What reason did you have? We don't really know each other… You randomly came over here just because you 'wanted to see me' – which I still don't understand… You're just confusing me, Axel. I'd like you to clear that up."

Hopefully he understood that. I haven't talked this much in a long time, so I was happy I got that glass of water. I took a long sip, waiting for Axel to reply. Unless he decided to make some kind of excuse not to with another deal or something. I'd be pissed.

"Well… For one… I'm gay, too." Well, that I didn't expect. Then again, after the kiss, it kind of explains it. So I kind of just shrugged it off. "And I kissed you… because… well… I-I've… liked you… for a long time, now," Axel mumbled.

Well. Uhm. Words? Words would be nice. But I couldn't think of any. The only words that resounded in my mind were the ones Axel just spoke. That didn't really help me right now, though. Then again. Wait. Axel likes me?!

No. No, no, no, that can't be right! But… he hasn't exactly shown he was lying… But then again, I don't exactly have a legit reason to trust him, either. So what do I do? Do I believe him and live happily ever after or some fairy tale shit like that? Well, that's for sure not happening. The second part, at least. Maybe the first part. Or do I just kick him out and just end everything?

Well I sure as hell can't do option B. There are far too many questions now that I know must be answered. And I'm sure as hell am not gonna leave with unfinished business. Great, I hope Axel is pleased with himself now that my resolve is shattered. Wait, he probably is. Dammit.

I just need time to think.

"Axel?" His attention was turned back to me. "Could you… go to the hospital? Or home?" His expression fell and he honestly looked like he was gonna start another debate with me when I interrupted him. "Axel, I just want time to figure things out. I'm just really… really confused right now…" He looked reluctant to leave, but I swore that I wouldn't kill myself and I'm not one to break promises.

Still a little hesitant, Axel left. He put his cell number into mine, making me promise to text him every two hours and to call him and talk to him till I fell asleep. I knew he was worried, but did he really have to do all this? I can't go like this, not now.

What am I going to do?

I saw Axel at lunch the next day, his hand wrapped up in proper bandaging. His friends weren't there and I was guessing it was because of yesterday. I walked over to his table, setting my backpack down in silence. "How are your friends?" I asked, actually concerned. I heard they got hurt because they were gay and dating. I honestly felt bad about it.

"They'll be fine. Zexion got most of Xemnas's fucked up game, though, and it hit him pretty hard emotionally. He won't be coming to school for a while and neither will Demyx. He's staying to take care of Zexion," Axel informed me. I let out a sigh of relief. At least they were okay.

"But aren't they seniors like you? Will they be able to graduate even if they miss a certain amount of school?" I didn't want their futures to be fucked up because of me, too.

"Zexion and Demyx both have perfect attendance and high GPA's. They'll be fine even if they skipped the rest of the year," Axel smirked. "Don't worry so much," he said, poking me in between my eyebrows. "You'll get wrinkles early that way."

I smiled back at him a bit. "Well that's good."

"So, what's up? Are you okay?" he asked, taking a sip of his juice box and leaning over the table.

"More or less. I just wanted to answer your question from yesterday." He nodded, motioning for me to carry on. "Well… No, I'm not mad that you kissed me…" I said. I could already tell this conversation was going to lead to me into blushing like a fucking tomato.

Axel let out a great sigh of relief, running his hand through his many spikes. "Oh thank god! I thought I totally fucked everything up with you! I'm sorry, Roxas."

"No, no, really, it's okay… I… liked it," I said, mumbling the last bit. Axel's expression brightened up and he sat straight.

"What was that?" he asked in a teasing tone. I glared at him, attempting to hide my slight blush and seriously failing.

"I… I liked it," I said a bit clearer, but still mumbling. Damn stubbornness and shyness. And damn his hearing the most!

"One more time?" he said, leaning closer and cuffing his hand over his ear.

"I said I liked it, dammit!" I shouted, but managed to keep in a control whisper sort of tone. I glared at him as he started laughing, throwing his head back in the chair and holding a hand to his forehead. "What's so funny?!"

"Nothing, nothing! I just… I never thought I'd hear you say that," Axel said, "But, I need to ask you one thing." Axel said, smiling at me. His expressions softened as he sat over in his chair, not looking at me. I was slightly confused by his change in moods. "Well… Now that I know I'm not a complete fuck up… there's something I want to ask you…"

I sat back in my own chair, playing with the key chains on my backpack. "Y-Yes?"

"Where do you want that kiss to lead…?" he started. I was a bit confused, so I gave him that kind of look so he would elaborate. "I kissed you… and told you I liked you… and you liked the kiss… The only thing that's missing is whether or not you like me back… and if you do, what do we do about it?"

"That's what I was thinking about last night," I answered almost immediately. "I… Truth be told, I have… liked you for a while… But after yesterday, I'm not sure if I'm ready to take another risk. I do want it to go somewhere, though…" I said. I pulled my knees up to my chest on the small-ish chair, hiding my face in my knees. "I'm just scared, Axel… I didn't even want to come to school today."

Thankfully, Xemnas and the Douche Patrol hadn't shown up today, either. Most likely because of what Axel said he did. I noticed how everyone was whispering about it, too. No one would talk to me, though, so I don't know exactly what happened. Just that there was a lot of fighting and that Xemnas and Axel were at the center of it.

My face was still hidden in my knees, but I could hear Axel scooting his chair closer to me. "You don't have to be afraid, Roxas. I'm not going to let anything hurt you anymore. Even if you don't believe it, I'm still going to do it. I care a lot about you and seeing you in pain… it just hurts so much…" I looked up from my knees to him, slightly confused.

"If you were in so much pain from watching me and you like me, then why didn't you help me sooner?" I asked accusingly. This guy just made no fucking sense sometimes. How annoying.

"I was scared, too. About a lot of things. About what would happen to you, me, my friends. I just didn't want things to get worse. I'm not scared of a lot of things, Roxas, but I am scared of losing people I care about… and rejection…" he looked away when he said the last bit and I could only wonder why he would be scared of that. Not many people are scared of rejection for simple reasons.

"Axel…" I mumbled.

"So, what do you want to do, Roxas? Where do you want to go?"

"…I'd like to trust you, Axel… And… I'm pretty sure I'd being willing to try… I mean… You're so confusing, you know that? I want to try figuring you out," I admitted. Axel was a challenge I was actually willing to accept. Huh, who'd guess that this would actually be happening.

"As long as you're next to me and not in the ground, Roxas, I'm happy. I honestly mean that," he smiled, utter joy overflowing in his eyes. "So we're dating now, right?"

I smiled back, laughing a bit at how much my confession pretty much blew over his head. "Yes, Axel, we're dating now."

Just then, Axel's phone went off with, surprisingly, a Sleeping With Sirens song. "Let Love Bleed Red", I believe. Anyway, he fished it out of his pocket, glancing at the caller ID before answering. "Yeah, Dem? What's up?"

A few moments went by as Axel listened to his friend. His eyes widened all of a sudden. "What? …Okay, Dem, calm down. I-I'm coming over now, okay? Just make sure he's still breathing!" And with that, Axel hung up.

"Axel, what's wrong? Who's not breathing?" I asked, worried.

"Roxas, could you please come with me? I might need your help," he asked, disregarding his half-eaten food and getting his stuff together. I nodded, putting my juice box on his tray and throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"Axel, what's wrong?" I asked again.

"It's my friend, Zexion, he- he's unconscious!"

Oh god, guys I'm so sorry this took so long! Dx
I had MAJOR writer's block and I just couldn't get the story to go where I wanted and it was pissing me off!
Well, there was that and a LOT of shit happened. Which included me getting in and out of a relationship (that was... no. Still majorly pissed about it, but-), and also going to my first anime convention [Nekocon 15] and cosplaying for the first time as Roxas~ Pics of that can be found on my dA, if anyone's interested.

Alright, now that my boring life is out of the way, lol, let's move on. So Axel and Roxas are together, though Roxas is still insecure. Hopefully he can get over that and get a clear vision of what he wants. In other news, Zexion collapsed! Oh noes! But fear not, Axel and Roxas to the rescue!

Characters (c) Tetsuya Nomura
Beta-ed by my lovely Elizabeth Anne19 c: Love you, hun~