We woke up the next morning to Axel's phone going off rather loudly. Axel grumbled, but made no movement to get up and answer the phone. He let it go to voice mail, but a few minutes later, just as I was starting to fall back asleep, it started ringing again. Axel growled, releasing my from his hold around my waist to roll onto his back and grab his phone off the nightstand.

"Demyx, it's fucking seven in the morning on a Saturday. What could you possibly want?" he growled into the phone. I sighed, knowing that whatever it was it did not involve me going back to sleep. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, as Axel listened to Demyx on the other end. He also sat up after a moment, leaning his head on my shoulder. "Got it. I'll be there in an hour." And with that, he hung up.

"What is it?" I asked, yawning. I know we went to bed rather early, but I was still in pain and just wanted to sleep it off.

"I have to go pick up Demyx and Zexion from the hospital." Axel and I had walked because we rode there in the ambulance and neither of us were against physical movement on a normal night. But if Zexion was that weak, then I would understand his need for mechanical transportation. Axel lay back down, taking me with him as he resumed our previous position.

"Don't you have to get ready?" I asked, not really meaning it. I was still tired.

"That's kind of why I said an hour. I want to sleep a bit longer. The hospital's not that far," Axel yawned.

We ended up passing out for another half hour before I felt Axel move and get out of the bed. My eyes opened a bit, waking up. "Oh, sorry. I was trying not to wake you up," he apologized.

"'S okay… I need to get up, anyway." I sat up, too, stretching my arms over my head and arching my back, hearing it pop. I heard Axel chuckle. "What is it?"

"Nothing. You just look like a cat when you stretch. It's cute," he smiled, grabbing a pair of clean pants off the floor. I blushed a bit, looking back to the bundled up blanket in my lap. "I'm gonna jump in the shower real quick then we can go get Dem and Zex. " I nodded as he left, taking another chance to look around.

I really liked Axel's room. It felt… homey. Is that even a real word? I don't care, it probably is. Anyway, I felt safe in Axel's room. I know it's really weird, but that's how I felt. Then again… I know I shouldn't be feeling this. This sense of security. This sense of longing. None of this should be happening right now. I shouldn't even be here right now. So why? Why exactly was I letting it happen? There must be something wrong with me.

Just two days ago I was ready to give up my life. Just two days ago I was about to leave this world. And just two days ago, everything changed in a matter of minutes. Everything was moving too fast. I could barely keep up. I need to press pause and slow down.

I mean, really. I barely even know Axel.

I finally crawled out of Axel's bed and pulled my jeans from yesterday on. Somehow my shirt managed to disappear, so I had no choice but to borrow one of Axel's. Unfortunately, he was much taller than me and there weren't many shirts that seemed like they'd fit me. I looked in the back and I saw that he did actually own a few smaller shirts, probably from when he was younger. I pulled one out, taking a moment to look at the intricate design laced on the front. It was of a pair of small dragons, one red and one blue, entwined in a yin-yang sort of style. In the back there was a faded checkerboard, looking as if it was shot through by a rifle repeatedly. All in all, it was a pretty badass shirt.

I threw it on just as Axel walked in, black skinny jeans hanging loosely off his bony hips and a towel hanging around his shoulders. His hair was still a bit damp and… he was so skinny. I mean, he had muscle, don't get me wrong there. But it seemed that that was all he was. Skin, bone, and muscle. That couldn't be right, could it? Then again, I didn't have much of a right to tell him that.

Axel smiled and laughed again as he walked past me to the closet to get a shirt. "I didn't think I still had that…" he mumbled absentmindedly, picking out a simple tight black V-neck for himself.

"You mean this?" I asked, meaning the shirt. "How long have you had it?"

"Oh, quite a while. A friend gave it to me when we were kids," he said, going over to his mirror to fix his hair.

Axel sounded a bit sad as he talked about this friend. "Were you two close?"

"Yeah. We were the best of friends. But then he moved away right before fifth grade. I haven't seen him since. Well, actually he recently moved back here. He even goes to our school," Axel said, seeming to perk up a bit as he ran a bit of gel through his long, spiky hair.

"Really? Do I know him? What's he look like?" I was curious to meet anyone who would be friends with Axel. From what I did know about him, I was surprised he had friends at all. The dude's insane!

"Yeah, you know him. He's a little short, but he's always been short compared to me. He has a bit of a temper, but rarely shows it. He's the nicest person I've ever met, but he's had a really hard time in life and I only wish I could've been there for him when he needed me…" he mumbled guiltily, tying a… really familiar necklace around his neck.

"Axel…" I said, things starting to click as memories resurfaced.

"C'mon, let's go get Demyx and Zexion," Axel interrupted, grabbing his jacket and keys and leaving the room.

Okay, what.

I tried asking Axel if what I was assuming was true, but every time I opened my mouth, he changed the subject; asking if I wanted to listen to music or if I was cold or warm or something else totally not relevant. Why would he bring up that story and not answer any of my questions? Damn Axel…

We got to the hospital in under a half hour, helping Demyx bring Zexion to the car. Zexion ended up falling asleep as we drove them back to Demyx's.

"Axel, why don't we just take Zexion back to his own house? Wouldn't his parents be worried?" I asked Axel after we dropped them off. I had noticed that no one ever brought up Zexion's home life.

"Now's not the right time for you to know that, Roxas," Axel said, putting all his attention to the road. Axel was so dodgy today; it was really pissing me off.

Then again, I didn't necessarily blame him. I didn't want him to get too close to me and he clearly held the same feelings. Then why would he go through the trouble of kissing me and getting me to go out with him? Why would he go through all that trouble if he wasn't going to do anything about it afterwards? How long did he plan on keeping this up?

"Axel, why won't you talk to me?"

"I already told you, Roxas. If you didn't kill yourself in a month, then I'd answer any question you had," he stated. Oh yeah, I had completely forgot about that.

"Then why tell me that story about your friend and then leave me hanging?"

"I didn't mean to. It just kind of slipped out, honestly. I wanted to wait and tell you all that later, but yeah. I'm not gonna give you a straight answer till then, though," Axel explained. Well at least that made sense… "So, do you want to go hang out or…?" Axel asked, his mood changing again.

"Uhm, I think I should be getting home. I have some homework I should really get done," I said, sort of meaning it. I did have homework, but there was no way in hell I was actually planning on doing it.

"Do you need some help?" Axel offered. He must've not had anything to do or something.

"No, it's just a few worksheets."

"Oh, alright. I'll take you home, then," Axel stated. He said a simple "bye" as he dropped me off, not looking at me or making any move to kiss or hug me.

"Axel, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Text me later?" he asked, not really seeming to care.

"Y-Yeah, I'll text you." And with that, I closed the car door and watched him speed off. What was that all about?

I was sitting on the front porch of my house, swinging on the bench that hung from the roof of it. What Axel was talking about seriously bugged me. It was clear that the story of the boy who gave him the shirt was me… but for some reason I couldn't remember anything. 'Is there even anything to remember?', I wondered. If there was, then I know Cloud and Tifa would have told me. Unless… maybe it was something bad? If it was, would they tell me? Probably not…

There was someone else I could ask, though. My godfather, Zack, Cloud's best friend… and ex-boyfriend. Yes, my dad is bi. He's been bi since he was in middle school and Zack was his first friend and boyfriend. Apparently they had a big fight (that he won't tell me about) and broke up, but somehow they stayed best friends. Then he met my mother and had me and Zack was asked to be my godfather. One time I asked my mom if she ever worried that my father would leave her for Zack, but she just laughed. She said Cloud wouldn't dare cheat on her. She said she knew Cloud loved her with all his heart and, should he cheat, she'd kill both of them and, actually, I believed her.

Luckily for me, Zack didn't live too far away from us. But for some reason, I hadn't seen him in quite a long time. I remembered when I was younger he would come over a lot, almost every weekend, and play with me. But… then he just stopped. I never knew why. Guess this is the time to find out why.

Zack lived near the edge of town, at least an hour and a half walk from my house. Not too bad. I sent mom a quick text, letting her know I was okay, before I set off on my quest. Good thing I had my iPod or this would've seemed like I was walking for forever. I had "Who Are You Now" by Sleeping With Sirens and various other songs blasting in my ears.

"Made me hate my own reflection, question every choice I make. So I could try to be perfect, but I won't try to be fake."

Before I knew it, I was at the edge of Zack's lawn. I turned off my iPod, wrapping the headphones around the device and stuffing it in my pocket. I took a deep breath, though I wasn't sure why. Was I nervous? Was it because I hadn't seen Zack in a while? Was he even home? I looked to the driveway, seeing his motorcycle parked near the garage door. Yup, he was home. So what was I waiting for?

I took a deep breath and walked through the driveway to the front door. Taking another moment, I knocked. There was no sound for a few minutes, so I started to assume he was either sleeping, or walked somewhere. I checked the time on my phone: it was almost noon.

I was about to turn away and give up my search there for now when suddenly, I heard some stuff getting knocked over, followed by a string of curses. A few seconds later, the door swung open, revealing Zack.

Zack was a big dude, first of all. He was kind of a fitness nut, and once planned to go into the military. Something happened with his girlfriend, Aerith, that made him choose not to. It was good to see that, at least, that incident didn't stop him from keeping up his physique.

"Look, I don't want your damn boy scout-… Roxas?" he asked, a smile appearing on his face. "Roxas, that's you, isn't it? Damn, you got big! C'mon, c'mon inside!" He ushered me inside, heading straight to the kitchen and grabbing two beers. "Let's keep this a secret from your dad, okay?" he said, smiling and handing one to me.

This is why I loved Zack. He was the coolest!

"So," he started, opening up the beer, "what brings you down here?"

He opened up mine as well before sitting down in an armchair. I held the bottle tightly in my hands, for some reason, nervous. "I… wanted to ask you about when I was little."

"Well you got your parents for that, don't you? Why come ask me? Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, Rox."

That made me giggle a bit. "Me and my parents haven't exactly been on good terms since we moved back here," I shrugged.

"Honestly, I'd be surprised if you were," Zack said, taking a swig of his beer. "Y'know, after all that's happened here."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"What do you mean? Don't you remember?"

"Remember what?" Zack blinked, clearly shocked that I was forgetting something. He told me to wait a minute as he set his beer down and disappeared down the hall. After about twenty minutes and several strings of curses later, Zack reappeared from the hall and sat back down, several scrapbooks in his hands.

"Remember this," he said, handing me the first one.

I took it hesitantly; a little scared of what I might find. I set the beer down, flipping to the first page, which were pictures of me as a baby. "Zack, these are just my baby pictures. What am I supposed to remember from being a baby?"

"Just keep looking."

I flipped through the pages, and I started seeing me in the same area, but with different clothes. Looking at the dates, I saw that they were taken at the same time. What? Eventually, I came across several other pictures… but there were two of me. Scared, I closed the scrapbook shut and threw it onto the coffee table, almost knocking over my beer.

"What the hell? Are those photoshopped? Why are there two of me in those pictures?!"

"There isn't two of you, Roxas. It's you and another person," Zack slowly and poorly explained.

"Another person? Who else would look exactly like me, Zack?!"

"…You're brother, Ventus. How do you not remember him? You're twins, after all."

…That… That couldn't be possible. I'm an only child! I don't have a brother, let alone a twin! Besides, even if I did have one, how could I not remember him? In the pictures, we looked to be about six or seven. How could I not remember a brother?

"Zack, you've got to be kidding… right? I mean… That, that sort of thing…" I couldn't even ask him properly. This just wasn't making any sense… And if it did… Did Axel have anything to do with it? He did say I knew him, but just didn't remember. Is maybe this what he meant? But how?

"Roxas, I'm telling the truth. Why don't you remember?" Zack asked, looking curious and concerned.

"I… I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be remembering… Zack, I'm gonna go." Before Zack could even make a protest as to why I shouldn't, I got up and ran out of the house. Just my luck, though, I ran into Aerith.

"Oh, my! …Roxas? Is that you? What are you doing here?" she asked, picking up her purse that fell out of her arms when I bumped into here.

"I…"

"Roxas! Come back!" I heard Zack call.

"Aerith, I'll see you later." And with that, I took off, not even bothering to look behind me. I was too busy searching through every memory I had for this "Ventus" kid and, hopefully, something of Axel. So far, I had nothing.

Since I had practically run the entire way back to my house, and I was zoned out half the time, I didn't fully realize it when I ran straight into my front door and landed on my ass. Yeah, that hurt like a bitch. I heard the door open to reveal my dad.

"Roxas? Why'd you just run into the door? Are you okay?" he asked, holding out his hand to help me up.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, out of breath and holding my nose which, when I pulled back my hand, noticed was bleeding. Greeeeaaaatttt. Cloud just shook his head, ushering me into the house and having me sit on the couch. Just then, Tifa walked in. Even more great.

"Roxas, what'd you do this time?" she asked, examining my face.

"He ran into the door. That's your son, by the way," Cloud said, coming back with a towel. He handed me the towel and sat next to me, asking why I was in such a rush.

"I went to see Zack…" I started, "and he showed me some pictures."

"You weren't looking at porn, were you?" Cloud asked, half-jokingly.

"No, Dad… He showed me some pictures of when I was little, and… I saw someone in a lot of the pictures with me… It was a boy who… who looked exactly like me."

My parents gasped at that. So they did know something. Why hide it?

"Did… Did he tell you who it was…?" Tifa hesitantly asked.

I nodded. "He… he said it was my twin brother, Ventus. But-But that can't be right, right Mom? Dad? I don't have a brother… right?"

They looked to each other, giving each other the "we-can't-hide-it-any-longer" look, and suddenly I got really scared.

"Roxas… We had hoped… We would never have to tell you this," Cloud started. "You… did have a brother…"

"W-What do you mean… did?"

"Sweetheart…" Tifa said, choking a bit over her words. She covered her mouth with her hand as she stood up and went to the kitchen. I could hear her muffled sobs and I was suddenly debating whether or not figuring out the truth was a good idea or not.

"Roxas," Cloud said, getting my attention back. "You're brother… Ventus… He died a long time ago. You were about six."

"Wha…." I couldn't make sense of anything. My head had been hurting since I first saw the photos and I couldn't fathom why and just… everything was pissing me off for some reason.

"Why don't I remember him…?"

"When he died, the doctors said you went into shock and they guessed to save yourself from pain, you decided it'd be better to just forget him. Your mother and I thought it would be better not to try and bring up any of your memories. You were a mess for days after Ventus died…. We didn't want you hurt, son…" Cloud explained, his eyes glassy from unshed tears.

"How… How did he die…?"

"He was killed…" he whispered, Tifa's sobs continuing from the kitchen.

"Did we live here before…?"

"Yeah… We left a bit after Ventus died, and we swore we'd never come back in fear that your memory would return. But the last job I had wasn't going to keep us going forever, Roxas, and I want you to go to college. I got a really good job offer here, and I just… I couldn't pass it up…"

"Does… Does the name 'Axel' mean anything to us, Dad?" At that, he looked up, pure surprise in his gaze. Tifa had also stopped crying.

"So he still lives here…" I heard Tifa say.

"Roxas, how do you know that name?" Cloud asked, sounding angry. I got scared again.

"I-I know him from school. Why? What's wrong?"

"Roxas, I want you to listen, alright? Don't get involved with that boy," Cloud said sternly.

"Why?"

"Don't ask questions, just listen to me, okay? Stay away from Axel."

"Al-Alright…" I mumbled. Good thing they didn't actually know how I knew Axel.

"Okay… Any more questions?" I shook my head no. I was having trouble processing what I already learned. "Alright. Go on up to your room till dinner."

I ran to my room, closing and locking the door before throwing myself on the bed. Okay, Roxas, what have you learned today?

I have a twin brother. His name is Ventus. He was killed when we were six. Axel has something to do with it, apparently. I mean, if he didn't, Cloud wouldn't be so serious about it.

The real question was… how did Axel connect to all this?

I let out a huge sigh as I walked through the halls at school. All my classes had been so hard up to that point and all I wanted was to get to my locker to drop off my stupid book bag and enjoy my lunch period without a huge amount of interruptions.

In short, I was done. I just wanted the stupid dumb-asses to leave me alone and the fact I'd left my headphones at home that morning did no sort of help whatsoever. Taking another deep breath, I put my head down as I saw Xemnas and his Douche Patrol walking down the hall around my locker, pissing other people off with their loud talking and bantering.

"Hey look, it's the local faggot!" I clenched my jaw, fighting the huge urge not to say a word as I just started opening my locker.

Could my day have gotten any worse? What was next? Axel coming up to me and kissing me again after what Cloud said to me last night? Xemnas was still babbling away beside me. He probably thought that I gave a rat's shiny disease infected ass, but all I heard was the occasional name.

"You know what; you really should have done it. You should have killed yourself."

I felt like the hallway fell silent to everything but what he was saying now, his Douche Patrol joining in gladly.

"Should have swallowed them."

"You could have..."

"...pills..."

"...swallowed..."

"... no love..."

"...dead brother..."

It was all swirling around me, like I was the middle of my own personal hellish universe. Their faces started turning around me, like they were walking as they spoke. Everything they were saying was getting to me. It would be so damn fucking easy to just grab more pills, to use a razor in the bath, to jump from the roof. To just end it!

It would stop this pain, wouldn't it? I pretty much know the story Axel was going to tell me now, anyways, didn't I? I was the friend and my family and I stuck around in town until Ventus died before leaving and coming back this year.

Ventus... I wonder what kind of person he was like. Was he exactly like me, or was he different? I don't even remember if we were close or not, if we fought or not. That might be where Axel ties into this, though, telling me what my brother was like.

"You're going to die like your brother; murdered in the dark." I felt my heart seize as Xemnas's voice rang that line through my head. My entire body froze as I looked passed him and the Douche Patrol to see me walking down the hallway further down; just turning a corner and looking right at me.

Ventus.

Without even thinking of the people around me, I started running down the hallway, yelling for people to get the fuck out of my way. He looked so real, like looking in a mirror, just like me. His eyes look just like Clouds and Aerith's we're mixed together into the most captivating Prussian blue.

As I rounded the corner, the sounds in the hallway picked back up again and it got so loud I'm sure it would have been quieter at a Sleeping With Sirens concert right beside all the speakers in the front row.

"Ventus!" The name wasn't unfamiliar on my tongue and I said it quite easily, despite the heavy emotions that welled inside me that I didn't quite know.

From the back, his hair looked just like mine; spiking and un-tamable. I tried as hard as I could to catch up, but every step I got closer he seemed to get two ahead of me. Eventually, we got out of school, my books on the hallway floor completely forgotten as I rushed after him and off of the school's property.

I followed him through the streets of town. He was walking normally but covering twice as much distance as me, and I was running. This part of town we were going to reminded me of something. I wasn't sure what yet; maybe our old house would be at the end of this game of 'follow the leader' that it felt like we were playing.

The landscape started changing around me and Ventus started getting closer. I slowed down to a jog before stopping altogether and just looking around. Things around us had become an insane green color that instantly reminded me of Axel's eyes and all those gorgeous pictures of Ireland I've looked up on the internet. The grass under my feet didn't look or feel like it'd been stepped on in years aside from a narrow path of thinner grass leading up to a huge willow tree, its tendril-like branches hanging down over this little hidden world.

"V-Ventus... is-…what?" He was six when he died, wasn't he? Why did he look just like me now? "H-How did you die?" I still don't know if it was nerves or being out of breath that made me stutter the first word of my sentences, but he didn't seem to want to answer as he just looked at me before looking around once again.

"Are you going to answer me? Are you even Ventus?" I received a nod of the head from him, indicating I was at least in the right ballpark for figuring out the plaguing memories that had started coming in short bursts of segments I no longer knew as reality or not.

"Ventus, how did you die…? Please, I need to know. How did I forget you if you're my brother?" It didn't look like he was about to answer me, so I let out a sigh and shook my head, deciding to look around the area again.

"This place doesn't really look this way anymore. It's just more memories, Roxas. Less painful ones," I finally heard him say. I didn't dare look at him, though; scared that if I turned my head another few degrees, then he would vanish. "If you want your memories back, don't listen to dad. Axel might be the only one who can help you."

"Or you could tell me everything and I could cut out the middle-man," I suggested.

"It doesn't work that way, Roxas. You obviously can't jog your own memories. You and I both know that Cloud and Tifa aren't going to tell you. And Zack isn't, now that Cloud knows you have a chance at regaining your memories."

With a sigh I turned to face him to see if I could talk to my twin but only let out a yelp as I saw a child version on my face, his face, our face? He looked like he was in serious pain, tear tracks down his face indicating he was crying and his eyes were bright red. "Ven-"

"Rox, Rox I'm scared... Rox, help me!"

"No!" I shot up in my bed so quickly that morning that I almost fell off the edge, wobbling for a few seconds before I stabilized myself and took deep, shaking breaths. What the hell?!

Merry Christmas! Sorry this chapter is so late, I've been having MAJOR writer's block lately Dx Hopefully this long chapter will make up for it c:

At first, I didn't really like where the chapter was going. Then I talked with my gorgeous beta, Elizabeth Anne19, and she made it awesome .u. I love you, hun~!

I love all you guys, too! Hope you have a safe holiday and I'll see you next year! Be sure to leave reviews and New Year's wishes~

Sleeping With Sirens songs and lyrics (c) respective owners.
Characters (c) Tetsuya Nomura.

Happy Holidays~!