Chapter 19: Mine.

The rain outside splashed across my bedroom window with a melodious split-splat sound. Every now and then the lightning outside would illuminate my bedroom before plunging me back into darkness. I sighed and rolled over, wishing that I could calm my mind enough to actually acquire a decent amount of sleep. The past few nights had been relatively restful, and I didn't want that to change.

I shifted restlessly onto my back and stared at the ceiling, letting Eric's story ricochet through my brain. He had no reason to lie, but it seemed so impossible that Carlisle could do something so heartless. It was now that I really wished the Cullens were in Forks; I'd run right up to Carlisle and scream, "How could you?"

The wind howled through the night like a wolf, tossing the trees back and forth, and keeping me awake longer. I pulled the blankets tighter around me as the icy wind from outside resonated off the glass and seeped into my room. Groaning heavily, I pulled the comforter over my head, knowing that this storm would bring the freezing misery that was Forks in the winter.

The rain carried on throughout the night and into the next day. The cold droplets froze everything they touched, sending me into a small depression. I hated anything cold and wet, which unfortunately was almost everything in Forks. Throwing one last look of contempt at the gray clouds hovering in the sky, I climbed into my truck and headed to school.

There was something different about today, although I couldn't directly put my finger on it. As I pulled in the parking lot at school, I noticed some elements that were out of the ordinary. For one, as I climbed out of the truck, Jessica was openly glaring at me from a few yards away. Normally, she would turn away when I would meet her gaze, especially when she was alone. Another odd factor this morning was that Lauren was nowhere to be seen; up until now she and Jessica had been attached at the hip.

Second, the only McRae I could see was Eric, and he was leaning against his silver Mercedes with his back to me. This was strange because every time I had arrived at school, he was surrounded by his family, laughing and joking around.

The last, and the part that horrified me the most, was Mike Newton. He was standing directly in front of my truck wearing a nervous smile.

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

"Hey, Bella." Mike's voice quivered as he approached me, and I hoped it was because he was cold.

"Hi, Mike." I feigned a delighted smile, but it was difficult, because as I greeted Mike, Eric whipped around to stare at us. He was too far for me to really see his expression, so I decided to ignore it. "What's up?"

"Uh," he stammered and rubbed the back of his neck. I tensed up, remembering he had made that same gesture when he had asked me to the girl's choice dance. "Well, Bella, I wanted to…uh…ask you something."

"Oh." I wondered if the dread was really noticeable in my voice. "All right, what is it?"

"Well," he said and puffed out his chest a bit as he inhaled, which made me laugh internally.

He looks like a bird trying to impress a potential…mate…oh no.

"I was wondering," he said and dug his hand in his pockets, "if you'd consider … um … being … uh … my girlfriend."

I stiffened in horror and my face flushed heavily. Would I consider being his girlfriend? Was he crazy? I had hardly spoken to him at all and barely considered him a friend, given how uncomfortable I felt around him. What on Earth made him think I would date him?

"Well?" He smiled at me, his baby blue eyes hopeful.

I actually felt a little sorry for him; he clearly had no idea that I was not interested in him.

"Uh, Mike," I stuttered in my flustered state, and, I'm not sure why but, I looked over at Eric with a look that I hoped could be interpreted as 'help me'.

"Look, I know you've been hurting." Mike seized my hand and held it between both his palms. "And I want to be there for you, Bella."

I grimaced at the cheesiness of his words and silently wished for another show down with Tyler's van. I longed for James to come back to life and attack me, or for a bear to charge out of the wilderness and into the parking lot. Anything to get Mike Newton away from me.

"I'm sorry, what do you think you're doing?"

The luxurious voice melted my nerves and soothed the anxiety inside me. I opened my eyes, fearing that I was dreaming, and found Eric glaring daggers at Mike. His stare sharpened as it fixed on my hands between Mike's palms.

"Excuse me?" Mike dropped my hands and turned to face Eric. "Dude, do you mind? We'd like some privacy here."

"Yes, I mind," Eric growled and grabbed Mike's shirt, pulling his close. "I mind that you're cornering and putting your hands on my girlfriend."

My stomach tightened and my eyes widened as I heard Eric's words. He had called me his girlfriend, not a friend or anything that could be misconstrued; he had labeled me as his.

My emotions immediately tore me in two. Half was enthralled at the thought of belonging to Eric; however, the other half was not quite as positive. Thoughts of being another vampire's distraction forced any sign of happiness from me, and my mood spiraled downward.

"You're…girlfriend?" Mike sounded weak, despondent, and humiliated.

"Yes." Eric nodded and, after letting go of Mike's shirt, placed himself beside me. As he continued to glower at the speechless Mike, the warning bell rang, signaling two minutes before class was to start. "Let's go, Bella."

We moved past Mike, Eric's hand in mine, I couldn't help my usual overly apologetic nature. "I'm sorry, Mike," I said as Eric wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards the main building.

We maneuvered through the thick mass of students, hurrying to their own first period classes. I kept giving Eric side glances. Now that I'd had time to think about it, I couldn't stop wondering if Eric had just said he was my boyfriend to get Mike to leave me alone.

"Why did you apologize to Mike?" Eric cut off my contemplating as we took our seats in English class.

"Why did you call me your girlfriend?" I decided that it was best to be direct; this was one question that I didn't want a vague answer to. Like ripping a Band-Aid off in one swift yank, it would make his rejection that much more bearable.

Part of me feared that he would say he did it to help me with Mike, and that he didn't think of me as anything more than a friend. However, Eric's constant affection and doting made me realize this would probably not happen. Then again, another part of me said that it was completely ridiculous and I shouldn't be feeling anything for him at all.

Eric's hand tightened to a fist, and he barely met my gaze when he asked, "Do you not wish to be? I don't particularly care for the term, but I suppose it's contemporary and accepted."

"No," I answered quickly but, as Eric's head fell, I amended my statement. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to be your…girlfriend, Eric."

"Are you attracted to me, Bella?" He pulled out his notebook as he asked this, his tone soft and prodding, not rhetorical. "Do you enjoy spending time with me?"

"You know I do." I didn't think that I'd have to tell him such a thing.

Spending time with Eric had become more than a way to distract myself from the Cullens. I liked being with Eric; he made me feel warm inside. It made sense that I was attracted to Eric; he was sweet to me, took time to make sure I was taken care of, and he looked at me with nothing short of pure adoration. So, why was there still a part of me that denied the feelings I knew were there? I couldn't help but deeply worry that a subconscious part of me was still longing for Edward, and that thought made me sad.

"Well?" Eric shifted in his seat and looked at me with a sad smile. The light from the fluorescent bulbs caught his eyes, causing them to twinkle and sparkle, and I was instantly oblivious to anything except the beautiful twin topazes staring directly at me.

"Uh," I stuttered incoherently as I reveled in the glorious sight of Eric's features.

"Bella?" His voice was like a silk waterfall filling my ears, sending goose bumps over my body. However, as he said my name again, I noticed his eyes narrow curiously, and I was quickly shaken from my dazzled state.

"Oh, sorry," I muttered as my cheeks flushed.

Eric opened him mouth but, right before he could speak, Mr. Marks entered the room and began explaining the next assignment. A five page term paper on the novel we were reading.

"You can pick any topic," he said while he shuffled through a handful of papers. "If you want to compare this book to another, be my guest. If you wish to write a five page critique on this book, by all means. However this is a collective assignment, which means I want you to work in groups of three; so go ahead and get together."

The door to the classroom burst open, revealing the tiny frame of Skye McRae. Her eyes were darker than normal, and, as she looked at Eric and then me, she slowly shook her head.

"Well, so nice of you to join us Miss McRae," Mr. Marks remarked sarcastically and gestured for her to take her seat. "I was just explaining the new project; I'm sure your brother can catch you up to speed."

"I'm sorry, sir," Skye muttered and made her way towards us. After Mr. Marks had given us leave to decide what the topic of our paper would be, Skye shifted and looked directly at Eric. "Did they find anything else?"

"Who?" Eric replied curiously.

Skye ran a hand through her hair fiercely. "You irritate me so much, Erickson."

"What's going on?" I asked, suddenly disheartened by the intensity of Skye's gaze and her strange question for her brother. "Is everything all right?"

"It's fine, Bella," she said between her teeth, and, after a deep breath, happily added, "How are you doing today?"

"I'm okay." I narrowed my eyes, thoroughly confused by her change of temper.

"Really?" Skye raised her eyebrows and smirked, like she knew something that I didn't. "I heard that Newton tried to claim you."

I groaned and let my head fall to the desk, remembering the hopefulness and the disappointment in Mike's eyes. "Please, don't remind me."

"I also heard," she said and, as I lifted my head, I saw her thrust a pointed finger in Eric's direction, "that you named Bella as your girlfriend."

"I hardly think that's anyone's business," Eric replied with an annoyed expression. "Except for Bella and I, that is."

"Well, whatever happened," Skye waved her hand in the air, "the entire school is talking about it."

"Great," I grumbled, not happy that I was in the spotlight again. I could only imagine what everyone was saying, especially since Eric was the first guy, since Edward, to show favor towards me. "This is going to be a nightmare."

"Well." Eric reached over and rubbed my back, his icy touch sending a tingle up my spine. "If you'd like to leave, I could think of a million things for us to do."

I bit my bottom lip and considered his offer, which wasn't sounding bad at all. Mike was in two of my other classes, and the last thing I wanted was to explain being Eric's girlfriend; especially when I wasn't entirely sure if that's what I wanted to be. Time alone with Eric would also allow me to discuss this "girlfriend" status some more.

"What time?" I asked as the rest of the class began talking louder as the class wore on."Lunch?"

"Where should I meet you?" I asked, already set on taking another day off from school. At this point, I didn't really care too much about school, my life seemed to be going in so many different directions, I hadn't really given much thought to my studies.

"I'll find you," Eric leaned over and whispered in my ear, making my skin burst into goose bumps.

By the end of my last class before lunch, I was ready to kill the world. Every single class I had been in, after English, had been filled with endless questions about Eric and I. Jessica, despite Lauren's scornful glares, demanded tons of information about my newfound "boyfriend".

"Why didn't you tell me you two were dating?" Jessica asked with an injured expression. She was probably recalling when I had opened up to her about Edward back in the early spring.

"W-Well," I stuttered and tried to find a good reason but I just came up short. I decided it was best to be as honest as possible with it. "We've been taking it slow, keeping it under the radar."

"Oh," she said sneakily, her mouth forming a perfect O. "You're hiding him from Charlie, aren't you?"

"No," I said and my brow indented at her strange expression. "He's met Charlie already."

"Well, isn't that lovely," Lauren said viciously behind Jessica, and, as I turned to her, she sneered at me. "It's great to see you moving on, Bella."

"I guess," I muttered and turned around, not wanting to incur anymore of Lauren's anger by making a sarcastic retort. Not to mention, I still wasn't completely sure that I was capable of moving on. Edward and the Cullens took everything I had when they left, and, true, I had slowly started to get some of it back. But, I just didn't know if it was enough.

Then again, after hearing what Eric told me about Carlisle, I had started to wonder if I ever knew the Cullens at all. I mean, who knows what they had done in the years prior to meeting me. If Carlisle could condemn someone who had come to the Volturi for help, what else was he capable of? Maybe it was Carlisle who decided that the Cullens move to begin with.

I wish Ary was here.

I missed her now more than ever. Since Eric had opened up about the history of the McRae family, I had so many questions for my best friend, and I had no way of contacting her. Then again, I thought as I headed out of the classroom, Ary would probably give me some cryptic answer that would have me up at night thinking. Still, I couldn't help the longing I had to see my best friend.

Eric was waiting for me outside the classroom, a smile etched across his face as he leaned against the lockers. I smiled, a little bit more relaxed in his presence, and let him take my backpack.

"Is everything all right?" he asked, his eyebrows pulled together in a show of concern as he stared at my face. "You seem a little sad."

I was going to tell him that everything was fine, but something told me that he'd see right through the lie. So, instead, I told him what was bothering me. "I miss Ary."

He nodded and his smile fell. "You and I both, Bella."

"Any idea on when she'll come back?" I implored, curious to know what she was doing in Seattle that was keeping her there. Eric sighed and shook his head. "We've had no contact from her, Bella," he lifted his eyes slowly, a pained look on his face, "it's the first time I've feared for my sister."

"Why?" I asked as he guided me towards the exit doors. "What's going on in Seattle to begin with?"

"It's not important, Bella," he said in a flat, emotionless tone. "We'd know if she was dead."

"Oh, well that's reassuring." I threw my hands up with an aggravated sigh before crossing them at my chest and scowling at the world in front of me.

"Have faith," Eric said softly as we crossed the parking lot. "Aryana is probably one of the strongest creatures on Earth—she has strong teeth too."

"What?" My eyebrows rose curiously at his last comment.

"I'll show you later."

We both climbed into his silver Mercedes and, after starting the engine, he drove away from the school quickly. As I let my eyes wander over the campus and surrounding forest, I did a quick double take. I stared at an outcropping of dense foliage and trees, searching desperately. My eyes poured over the space as best as they could while Eric drove us further away. I sighed, frustrated that we were now out of range for my human eyes to see anything, because, I was more than certain, I had see someone standing in the forest watching us.

Someone tall, who was wearing black pants and a black shirt, with long whitish, blonde hair.

I wasn't sure why I didn't tell Eric about the strange figure I'd seen outside school; maybe I thought I had imagined it or maybe I didn't want him to think I was crazy. Whatever the reason, when he asked me what was wrong, I immediately smiled and answered, "Nothing."

So, instead of jumping on the highway and heading towards his home, as usual, Eric turned away from the highway and started making his way towards my house.

"Where are we going?"

"Your house," Eric replied jovially and, upon seeing the confusion in my eyes, added, "We're always at my home, Bella. While I don't mind spending time there, I think it's only fair if I get to see your room."

"Oh…okay." I was immediately tense. Not because Eric and I would be alone in my house, but because I worried that Charlie would come home and attempt to shoot Eric. The thought made me giggle as I thought of the bullet bouncing off Eric like Superman, but I cringed when I thought of the massive coronary Charlie might have after seeing that.

"Is that acceptable, Bella?" Eric asked as we turned down my street slowly.

My eyes poured over the houses of my neighbors, looking to see if anyone was out in their front yard. I wasn't completely surprised to see that their yards were empty, given that it was close to freezing outside. My eyes continued to scour the tiny cottage-like homes skeptically, paranoid that someone was watching us through a crack in their curtains.

"Y-Yeah," I said, my voice far-away, as I narrowed my eyes towards a cat cleaning itself on the front step of a house. When I was satisfied with the lack of life on my street, I almost jumped at the feeling of icy fingers on my shoulder.

Eric looked at me apologetically. "Are you sure you're okay, Bella?"

"I'm just a little on edge." He gave me a pointed look and I added, "I'm not sure how my dad would feel about us being alone at the house."

"I see." Eric turned away and appeared to ponder over something. Whatever it was, he appeared to have a hard time with it. His brow knit heavily and he clenched his jaws together. "Bella, there's something that I've wanted to talk with you about, but I've never had the chance."

My stomach tightened as I mulled over all subjects he could talk to me about. What was it and why did it look like it bothered him so much?

"Okay," I said, a little nervously, and turned to him as we pulled to a stop outside my house.

He took a deep breath and, after looking at everything but me, finally spoke. "Where did the Cullens live?"

My back straightened as he asked one question I hadn't thought of. "The…Cullens? Why?"

"After Ary and I made our agreement," I cringed at the memory of the pact between Ary and Eric: one day, Ary would ask Eric to kill her and he would oblige. "I traveled back to the home that I shared with my wife. It was very emotional and extremely painful, but, afterward, I felt like I had a bit of closure."

I stared at him blankly, not fully understanding what he was implying. Was he suggesting that I go to the Cullens' home? What would I do there, bask in the glory of my past? I narrowed my eyes at Eric, not liking where this conversation was going.

"I think you should do the same thing," Eric finished and looked away.

"Are you nuts?" Looking back, it probably wasn't the most mature response, but I couldn't think of any other way to explain my emotions. I stared at Eric as my emotions coursed through me: confusion, bewilderment, and any other noun that seemed appropriate.

"Hear me out?" he pleaded and I begrudgingly nodded. "Despite the fact that they aren't there and you won't be talking to them, you'll be facing your past regardless. If you do wish to move on, Bella, you have to come to terms with the demons that broke you."

"But…I…no…I can't," I stammered, hearing the truth behind his words and not wanting to accept it. "Eric, it's harder than you think."

He lowered his eyes. "I know how hard it is."

I was immediately hit with pangs of guilt. True, Edward had left and taken his family with him, but, Eric's wife had been untimely ripped away from him. My misery due to being dumped seemed insignificant next to his heartbreak.

"Eric," I said softly and he turned to look at me. "We can try, I don't think it's going to work, but I'm willing."

Eric nodded, and turned the engine back on. With a turn of the wheel, we were heading back towards the highway and towards the heart of my past.