"Nothing, just… remembering an old friend," I mumbled, stirring the ice cream with my spoon.

"Well that was pretty random," Axel shrugged, returning to his own treat. After that, I couldn't stop taking glances at Axel. That last flashback was a lot clearer than the others, and I was able to pick out a lot more details; a few of those details being flaming red hair and piercing green eyes. Axel had already said I knew him, but didn't remember him. Maybe now, after spending time with him, I was starting to. Even Ventus had said Axel had some secrets. All signs pointed to my idiotic boyfriend! All I seriously needed, though, was a confession.

"Hey, Axel? Can I ask you something?" I said, still playing with the ice cream.

"Sure, what's up?" he asked back.

"I've… been having a lot of dreams lately…"

"That's not a question, Roxy." I glanced up and saw him smiling warmly before it faltered. "What kind of dreams?"

"Well, they're more like… memories, I think…" I started, keeping my eyes on the melting treat in my bowl. "They're usually about… my… my brother…" I glanced up at Axel, who hadn't really made any noise after a few minutes of me tearing up the ice cream. His eyes were wide and he looked like he had seen a ghost. "Axel…?"

"You… you have a brother?" he gulped, his eyes glued to the table and his now slightly trembling hands.

"I… I did… He's dead…" Wow. That… That really hurt to say. We must've been maybe eight when Ventus died. And on top of that, I forgot about him for another eight or so years. And it still hurts…? Were we that close or something? Did I miss him that much, even after all this time?

"Oh…" Axel didn't say much after that. We finished our ice cream in silence before he took me home. For the next few days, Axel zoned out a lot. He didn't seem much like Axel after I told him about Ventus. Could there be a reason for that? Asking Axel up front would get me nowhere, since there was still little under a week before the month was up. There was no way I could wait that long. Maybe his friends knew? What if I asked Demyx and Zexion knew? Zexion did go back to school and seemed to be doing alright, lately. I seem to be asking a lot of questions lately, don't I? I blame Axel.

After school on Wednesday, I walked over to Demyx's house, intent on getting a few answers. I knocked on the door and, kind of surprisingly, it was Zexion who opened the door. And for some reason, he didn't have a shirt on. "Roxas?"

"Hey, Zexion. Is Demyx here, too?" I asked, standing kind of awkwardly in the doorway.

"Zex, who's at the door?" I heard a voice call from the other side of the house.

"Hey, Demyx!" I called back, startling Zexion a bit. I shot him a quick apology for shouting as Demyx tripped his way into the living room.

"Hey, Roxas, what's up? Shouldn't you be with Axel?" Why he thought I'd like to spend every waking moment with Axel, I'll never know. And he apparently didn't notice the tension Axel and I were having. Just goes to show how oblivious the sitar-player could be sometimes.

"No, I came here to talk to you guys," I smiled. Zexion looked to Demyx, they both shrugged, then Zexion moved aside to let me in before disappearing down the hall – most likely in search of a shirt. Demyx offered me a seat on the couch, which I took, before plopping down next to me.

"So! What does little Roxy want from Demy and Zexy~?" he asked as Zexion walked back in, torso now covered, and lightly smacking Demyx in the back of the head.

"Don't call me that," he stated monotonously, sitting in the chair adjacent from the couch.

"Aww, but you love it when I call you that! Especially when I put my hand down your pants and whisper – "

"So, Roxas, what is it that you want?" Zexion interrupted with a slight blush. I wasn't even going to ask.

"I wanted to ask… about Axel."

"Why, did he do something?" Demyx asked, now concerned about his friend.

"No… at least I don't think so…" I trailed off.

"What do you mean?" Zexion asked.

"I told him something about me… and now he's not acting like himself… and I don't know what I said to trigger that. So I was wondering if you guys would know," I explained.

"Oh, that's nothing to worry about, Roxas. Sometimes Axel over thinks things and just goes off in his own little world for a while," Demyx shrugged.

"Is there any reason for that?"

"Hmm…" Demyx thought for a moment. "I'm not really sure. It could be something from his past. But I've only known him since seventh grade. And even then, when I asked, he just said it was something bad and he didn't like talking about it. At first I thought it was a family death, but then his mom told me that Axel didn't have any attachment to his dead family," Demyx explained, Zexion and I listening intently. Apparently this was Zexion's first time hearing any of this, too.

"Something bad?" Zexion jumped back in.

"Yeah, sorry, that's all I – " Before Demyx could finish his sentence, there was a rather loud buzzing noise. Demyx jumped a bit and pulled his phone out of his back pocket, looking shocked at the name flashing across his screen. "What do you want?" he growled through clench teeth into the receiver. Zexion sighed, standing up and walking over to the kitchen. "You know full-fucking-well why I'm not coming back, so stop calling here!" Demyx shouted, making me jump. He hung up on the call and threw his phone across the room, the device landing in a desk chair. Zexion came back and gave his boyfriend a beer, then choosing to sit next to me.

"What was that all about?" I asked, extremely confused. Demyx huffed, obviously very pissed, as he started downing the beer. When he finished, he stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a few more bottles before coming back and opening another.

"Dem, slow down…" Zexion begged, giving his boyfriend a very sad look. Demyx ignored him, drinking the second beer almost as quickly as he did the first one. Zexion sighed again. He tugged on my sleeve and pointed to the hall, silently telling me to go with him. I stood up and followed Zexion to the hall. He leaned against the wall, holding his head in his hand. "I don't like it when he drinks…" I looked back to Demyx, who somehow was already on his third bottle. How was he drinking them so fast?

"So why did you give him the beer?" Zexion's logic was making no sense.

"That was probably his father on the phone…" Zexion said, looking back to Demyx with pain in his eyes. I was going to ask what was so bad about that, but I decided to let Zexion tell me when he wanted to. After a few moments, he turned back to me and said, "His father kicked him out a year ago. And now he's trying to get Demyx to go back home. He drinks so that he doesn't do something worse, and it's only when his father's brought up, so I let him." Now the logic was making sense.

"Why did his father kick him out?"

"He found out about his relationship with me…" Zexion said solemnly. "Demyx's grades were dropping a bit when we started going out. He quickly got them back up before report cards, but his father still noticed the failure and blamed me. Demyx fought for us to be together and his father gave him a choice: break up with me and get a girlfriend, or leave." Oh my god. I never would've imagined Demyx – the kid always making too much noise and smiling like an idiot – would have gone through that. And besides that, what kind of parents kick their son out just because of who they're dating? Parents are supposed to love their children no matter what; not kick them out just because they choose to like the same gender. "This is his uncle's house. He was the only relative that would take Demyx in that lived in the area. His uncle's never home, but he's not the most… let's say 'caring' person on the planet," Zexion winced. I had a pretty good idea as to what he meant by that… but I didn't want to think about that right now. At least it explains why the house looks trashed all the time.

"So what are you doing here, Zexion? Don't you have your own house?" I didn't see much of a point of Zexion being here, even if it was just for Demyx.

"My parents kicked me out, too. My grades didn't suffer by even a point, and they didn't care I was dating a guy. They just didn't like that that guy was Demyx. They thought he would be a bad influence on me and that I would end up a failure. So they gave me the same choice, which I actually found a tad amusing," Zexion said, not seeming bothered by his past.

"Don't your parents ask you to come back or worry about you? You don't seem too upset," I pointed out, just as a test. I didn't want to bring up something that wasn't my place to.

"I'm with Demyx. That's all I could ever want. I mean, I'd rather we weren't at his uncle's house, but it's what we have, so I don't really mind all too much. And my parents aren't really ones to give a rat's ass about their son. They had my whole life planned out and they saw Demyx as a hindrance to that plan. When they saw how much I wasn't going to give up, they just gave up on me. Honestly, I'm glad I'm away from them. Now I can figure out a life for myself," Zexion said with a small smile.

Wow… They gave up everything they had… Just so they could be together… I wondered… I wondered if I would ever have the guts to do something like that. I wondered if I would ever love someone so much that I would risk everything and everyone just so that I could be with them… Then I wondered… Would that someone be Axel? No. I seriously need to stop thinking like that. I know I keep going back and forth on this topic, but it's really all I can think about. Do I like Axel truly? Or am I just using him to give me more time? Or am I simply over thinking things? I don't even know what's going on in my own mind and heart anymore.

"I should probably stop him before he gets too drunk," Zexion said, bringing me out of my thoughts. "You should probably get home, too, Roxas. Unless there was something else you needed?"

"Oh, uh, no. Thanks for everything, Zexion," I forced a small smile. "I'll see you and Demyx at school tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, I'll make sure Dem doesn't get too bad a hangover." Zexion led me to the door, taking Demyx's beer away as he did so, and we agreed to talk more during lunch. And with that, I left and walked home.

The next day at school, Axel still acted differently, but at least I now I had a vague idea as to why. Demyx, Zexion, Axel, and I were at lunch, not really talking about anything in particular, when I notice someone approaching our table. "Well, if it isn't the local fags, all conveniently gathered at one table," Xemnas smirked, Saix and Seifer flagging him on both sides and snickering.

"Can we help you with anything, Mansex?" Demyx boldly asked. It was odd for him to have this kind of courage, apparently. But after seeing how he acted with his parents, I wasn't really shocked. Xemnas's eye twitched in annoyance.

"I'm here to settle a score," he simply stated.

"With?" I asked, wishing he would just vanish right off the face of the earth.

"Your fuck-buddy, of course." Axel's eyes widened. What would Xemnas want with him? Unless…

"Oh, this is about me kicking the snot out of you, isn't it?" Axel smirked proudly.

"Actually, it is. I want a rematch," Xemnas demanded. "Right here, right now."

"Are you insane? I'm not going to fight you in the middle of the cafeteria," Axel said, returning to his milk carton. Xemnas didn't really like how Axel blew him off like that. He stepped up to him and knocked the milk out of Axel's hand, sending it all over his face and shirt. Axel backed up in shock and the rest of us were left with dropped jaws. There was no way Axel was going to take that lightly.

Axel glared at Xemnas, who was smirking with pride and high fived with Seifer and Saix. Axel stood up, crushing the milk carton in his fist. He practically growled at Xemnas as he threw it to the side and threw a punch right in his face. Demyx jumped from his seat, going straight for Axel and holding him back before he could throw another punch. Seifer and Saix did nothing to stop Xemnas as he came back and kneed Axel in the gut before backing up. Axel broke free from Demyx's hold and went straight for Xemnas, throwing a punch across his cheek. The rest of the cafeteria had noticed what was going on by now and started to form a circle around the two fighting boys. Zexion and I were watching as Demyx tried to pry Xemnas and Axel apart. Seifer and Saix were getting the crowd riled up and jeering them on. I looked around, seeing several teachers starting to look over at the growing crowd. Oh shit.

"Axel! Axel, stop!" I shouted. My voice fell over deaf ears, though, as Axel and Xemnas kept trying to kill each other. Axel had already said that Xemnas wasn't worth getting in trouble over. He managed to keep that up, so I didn't understand what made him snap. I saw the gym teacher trying to break through the jeering teenagers surrounding Axel and Xemnas and panicked, throwing myself into the fray and attempting to pull Axel out. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held tightly, Axel's elbow went back and hit me in the face, but I held on. Demyx came back and grabbed Axel's arms and together, we pulled Axel out, all the while Xemnas calling Axel a pussy for having to have Demyx and I pull him away. I shouted for Xemnas to shut the fuck up as I pulled Axel out just before the gym teacher came out and grabbed Xemnas' arm.

I didn't see what happened after that, since Axel's elbow had hit me in the eye. Zexion had followed Demyx and I out of the cafeteria as we were dragging Axel to the closest bathroom. He struggled a lot, but calmed down a lot as soon as we got in the bathroom. I went to the mirror to see how bad Axel got my eye, and saw that it was already starting to bruise. I touched it lightly and winced in pain. Zexion came over to see for himself and see if I had to go to the nurse while Demyx calmed Axel down.

"You should be fine," Zexion said, tilting my head up a bit so he could see my eye in the light better. "You should probably go to the nurse and get some ice though, it's bruising pretty badly." I looked over to Axel, one of my eyes closed and tearing up. He was leaning against the wall, his head down and his hands gripping his hair. His lip was split and there were probably a few bruises already forming under his clothes. "Take Axel with you, have the nurse check his lip out," Zexion said. I nodded and went over to Axel and Demyx.

"Ax, calm down," Demyx was saying gently. Axel's breath was heavy, his eyes closed as he regained control. Demyx looked back to me and made a face at my quickly bruising eye. "Yeesh, Ax, you got Roxas pretty good. Probably got Xemnas better, but damn," he commented. Axel looked up at me, his eyes full of regret and apology as he saw my eye. He came closer to me, resting his hand on my cheek under my eye and gently rubbing his thumb under the bruise.

"Rox, I'm so, so sorry. Are you okay? How bad does it hurt?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Axel. It hurts a lot though; can we go to the nurse? Your lip doesn't look too good either," I said, lifting my hand to wipe some blood off Axel's chin. He nodded and took the hand that was just on his face in his own and led me out of the bathroom. Demyx and Zexion followed, saying they were going to make sure Xemnas wasn't on a manhunt and that the teachers weren't on Axel's ass. After all, Xemnas was the one who started it. Axel was quiet on the way to the nurse, his hand gently holding mine as I walked behind him. I felt like I should have said something, but I just couldn't figure out exactly what. When we got there, the nurse just told us to have a seat while she got an ice bag for my eye. Axel sat next to me, still holding my hand. He was holding it loose enough that I could take my hand back if I wanted, but I just left it there.

When the nurse came back to give me the ice, she said my eye was probably going to be sore for a while and that I'm going to have to live with a black eye. Axel mostly just had bruises and a split lip, so she gave him some ice and said that he was just going to have to be careful and not to pick at his lip once it scabs over. We nodded our thanks then went back to class before lunch ended to get our things; the nurse said it'd be better if we just went home. We made our way to Axel's car, and I told him he could just come over to my house. He tried to refuse, but I insisted and told him I didn't want to be left alone and Cloud and Tifa wouldn't be back till much later in the night. He sighed a little, thinking I wouldn't notice, and took us to my house. To be honest, I just wanted to make sure Axel was okay. He was really quiet, which is not like him. Despite myself, I was worried.

Now, I believe I have mentioned a few times that I was living with my parents even though I explained how they believed I was sick and had banished me to my aunt and uncle's. The thing is, I don't see my birth parents as my actual family. Cloud and Tifa have been more of a mother and father to me than my own parents, so I won't even try to compare them. I've been with them so long that I had started to refer to them as my parents, and they didn't seem to mind in the slightest, so I kept doing it.

We pulled up into the driveway, the whole car ride quiet. I wanted to try and talk to Axel, but the atmosphere in the air told me that that wouldn't be the best idea at the moment. We went inside and I grabbed a water bottle for each of us as Axel curled up on the couch. "C'mere," I said, getting his attention. "Come upstairs with me." Semi-reluctantly, Axel got up and followed me up to my room. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, not sure what to do. I took his hand in mine after setting the water bottles on the nightstand and tugged him over to the bed. He gave me a weird look, but sat down on the bed anyway. I got on the bed and lay down on the pillows. "Axel, just come here," I said, tugging his shirt. He seemed to finally pick up what I was doing and lay down next to me, resting his arm on my waist but not doing much else. I scooted closer to him, also letting my arm rest on his waist. "Axel, what's wrong? It's not about my eye, is it?" I asked him, rubbing his back a bit, trying to coax him into talking to me.

After a few moments he shook his head a bit. "No, it's not really about your eye." He moved his arm off my waist and brought his hand up to my face to caress my cheek. "Though I am really sorry about that," he said as he kissed above my eyebrow.

"Then what is it then?"

"I'm just tired," Axel said quietly, moving to play with a lock of my hair. "Tired of things like this."

"…What do you mean?" I asked, my fingers playing with his shirt. "You don't mean me, do you?" I said, moving away from him a little.

He pulled me back and rested his nose in my hair and had his arm around my waist again. "No, Roxas, not you," he said, nuzzling my hair. He sighed a bit. "I'm tired of being pushed around, of having you pushed around. I just want a quiet high school life, I just want things to be okay…" he explained, pulling me a bit closer. "I'm tired of being scared…"

I let my forehead rest just under Axel's clavicle, my arm resting comfortably around his waist. "What are you afraid of?" I asked quietly.

"Things getting worse than they already are…"

Eventually Axel fell asleep wrapped around me. I didn't want to leave him, his own body heat and the inevitable relaxation also making me tired, but I was thirsty and figured I should also make something for Axel to eat. I slowly slipped out of his hold, putting my body pillow in my spot in his arms. I watched for a moment as he wrapped his arms tighter around the pillow and buried his face in its softness before relaxing and lightly snoring again. I left my room and went back down to the kitchen, seeing a note on the counter I hadn't noticed before. I picked it up and read Tifa's cursive handwriting, the note saying she and Cloud had to go out of town for the night and they wouldn't be back till tomorrow night. She apologized for not telling him, but it was last minute. I made a mental note to call her before it got too late, as the note instructed me to do.

I went about making a small meal for Axel to eat. I was silently grateful it was Friday, that way Axel didn't have to leave. Wait, I was happy about that? Ugh, why am I even fighting it anymore? Besides, this is not the time to play the "Do I Actually Like Axel" game with myself. I decided to just ignore whatever weird feelings I had for the moment, knowing that Axel needed my help rather than me being stupid. After I finished making Axel's food, I grabbed the landline and dialed Tifa's number, too lazy to go up and get my phone and possibly wake Axel up. I explained to her I had a friend over, leaving out the part that it was Axel, which she was fine with as long as we cleaned up whatever mess we made. It was a short conversation, and we said our goodnights a few minutes later. Afterwards, I felt something pricking in my head, like one of those annoying headaches that only hurts on one part of your brain. I brought a hand to my temple and started rubbing it, trying to relieve some of the pain in my head.

"AH!" I shouted, my knees giving out and crashing to the floor. A loud ringing noise reverberated in my ears and my hands went up to cover them, gripping my hair to try and get rid of the immense pain pounding in my skull. I felt my body fall over and I was laying on the ground in the fetal position, unable to make the ringing stop. For some reason, I kept getting flashes of myself and Ventus as children. We were in a house that didn't look like the one I grew up in and in a room I was unfamiliar with. I could feel myself slipping, the grip on my hair was loosening and the pain was subsiding, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. I remember hearing footsteps and a voice before I blacked out.

"Ven, are you okay?" I asked, shaking my brother's shoulder. We were sharing a sleeping bag on the floor and I woke up to Ventus shaking and kicking me in his sleep. His eyes shot open and he sat up, looking around the room scared before he saw me and calmed down.

"Roxy.. I-I'm sorry.. Did I wake you up?" he asked. I shook my head, more worried about my twin than sleeping.

"Was it that dream again?" I asked, speaking quietly so as not to wake up the other person in the room. He nodded, bringing his knees up to his chest and letting his face fall into his knees. I let my hand rest in his hair, similar to my own. "It's okay, Ven. Do you want to go home?" He was silent and unmoving for a moment before nodding.

"Okay. I'll wake Axel up and get his mom."

Arrives 10 months late with Starbucks. But it's mine. Aha.

Sorry just a little bit sorry for taking so long to update and leaving a cliffhanger. Not sure when the next chapter will be out, but I do plan on finishing this story.. eventually.