It was a calm night, with no wind at all. Several birds flew outside the large Clock Tower window, and the full moon shone brightly over the many valuables, gems, plaques and trinkets Garrett had collected over the months. It was a calm night, and he couldn't get to sleep. Sometimes, he rubbed his eye with his right hand, making sure it was still there. Making sure it was normal. Sometimes, he expected the headaches to come back. Sometimes, he expected the environment around him to shift and glow. Every time, it didn't. Every time, he appreciated the fact that the blue glow was gone forever. He breathed in a deeper breath and let it out silently, through his nose.
The thief felt a movement on the bed beside him, and calmly turned to get a better look. Erin had stirred in her sleep. He kept watching her face for any sign of what had disturbed her. Her eyes were still closed, but clenched tight. Her eyebrows were also squeezed close together and there was sweat on her forehead. As she squirmed and quaked, her fist gripped the sheets. Her nails dug into them so hard, Garrett could see the tendons on the bottom of her arm pop out. She breathed more heavily and a cry of pain from some invisible torturer escaped her lips. The breaths came quicker and she yelped again, her voice beginning to turn into sobs.
As she woke up, she screamed so loudly several birds were startled away from the tower's window where they usually perched. Scrambling away from Garrett and hiding in the corner, Erin buried her face in her arms and cried out, "Don't touch me again! Please! No more… Don't mess with my brain again!"
It had happened again. The nightmare.
After what they'd put her through at the Asylum, Erin had never been the same. Worse still, when Garrett had been incarcerated with her, she'd always looked out for him, over even herself. She'd suffered pain to try to make sure they left him alone.
He slowly put his hands on her shoulders and she shrank even further into herself, whimpering, shaking. She was afraid of him. No. Not of him. She was just afraid. Of everything. Everything wanted to hurt her.
He gently pulled her into a wordless embrace and heard her speak through a tear-filled throat, "I'll be quiet… I'll be quiet, I promise. I don't want to go back in that room…"
It hurt him.
She was so reckless and aggressive, so irritating before. He didn't like feeling things. Any emotion got in the way of what he did best, and he had to do what he did best on a regular basis. He looked around at all of the shining coins and jewels bathed in moonlight littering the tables and containers of his hideout. He pushed those away from her mind. He didn't like feeling things, but seeing Erin this way was a crossbow bolt to his heart.
"Erin…" he spoke, and slowly rubbed her back.
His voice seemed to have an effect on her, as the crying lessened some. "No one's going to hurt you," he said. He wasn't very good at comforting people. To comfort someone, you had to know someone. Most of his life there had just never been anyone to comfort. He liked it that way. But now things were different. The unfamiliar pain in his chest didn't go away, but morphed into something chunkier, softer. It was still in him, and it still felt heavy and unwanted, but it was… Better somehow. The more Erin calmed down, the better he felt. He kept rubbing her back.
Her arms and hands came away from her face and went around Garrett's body as she buried her face in his chest and sniffed and swallowed her tears a few times, exhaling a throaty breath. Sniff. Shaky breath. Sniff. Shaky breath.
"Garrett…" she spoke, her voice deeper and throat still lined with tears. "You're not afraid of me?" she asked.
"What?" he questioned in return, quietly.
"No, why would I be? I'm not afraid of you, Erin."
He wondered why she'd asked, but didn't much care beyond that. He knew she needed to hear him say he didn't fear her. She needed to feel he wouldn't run away from her, or hide in the shadows of the world until she could never find him again.
She blew her nose on his shirt. He didn't care. He stroked the back of her hair. The girl let out a half-moan, half-sigh, body numb and out-of-this-world from the crying and shaking of her lungs. She was thirsty, but crying always made her thirsty.
"I'm not afraid of you," he said again, making sure she heard him.
"Are you sure?" she asked. "Because, Garrett… Sometimes… I'm afraid of me." The whimper in her voice came back, and he thought she was going to start crying again.
"No, no, no, Erin, nothing like that. You're not scary. You're my apprentice. What am I?"
"You're my mentor."
"You don't scare me. I taught you everything you know."
He felt like an idiot because this made her choke on a gasp and her voice cracked again, mounting to more sobs as she said, "I wanted to be as good as you someday. All I wanted was for you to tell me I was doing well, that you were proud of me. But every time I got nervous when I saw someone in our way…" She began to cry again. "I was never any good for anything except killing, Garrett! I was good at it, but it never impressed you and I was never good enough at anything you did to make you notice so I just kept doing it! I knew it pissed you off but it was the only way to get you to react at all. You just didn't care," she whispered. "You never cared about anything I did…"
"Ah, damn it, Erin…" he murmured into her ear, holding her tighter and sighing, his own eyes lining with some tears. He hated this. He hated how she doubted herself. Under normal circumstances, he would have liked to see her humility - but not now. Not after everything she'd gone through.
"I almost killed you too! When the Primal took over me, I beat you, Garrett… And I never stopped beating you. And I couldn't stop it, I couldn't control it! It made me watch as I kept hitting you over and over again, and all I could hear in my head was you telling me, that one day, that you didn't kill, and that a real thief never kills." She took a few seconds to take some more ragged breaths, but they were quickly interrupted by another cry. "I'm a monster Garrett… I'm so scared… I'm so scared…"
"No one's going to hurt you again."
"No, you don't understand!" The ending of her sentence heightened in pitch until she whispered it.
She whispered again, "I'm scared I'll hurt you again… I'm just a monster… I'm just a monster…"
"You're not a monster," he spoke quietly into her ear, kissing the top of her head.
"So what am I…?"
He didn't answer, didn't think he needed to.
"Garrett, tell me what I am. Please. If I'm not a monster-"
"You're a stupid, reckless girl who makes too much noise running on rooftops. We're gonna fix that."
She laughed a little, unable to keep it in.
"There you go."
"But… You don't like going on jobs with me anymore. You disowned me."
"I do things right, Erin."
"I know… That's just the way you are…"
"And I never leave something unfinished."
"What does that mean?"
"In means, tomorrow there are going to be two diamonds transported to a shop a block from here."
"I promise I'll wait in the tower."
"It's a two-person job."
She stopped breathing, pulled away from him to look him in the eyes - her own red and wet.
"W-what? But… You're not gonna take me, right? You hate working with me…"
"Who am I gonna take? Basso? He's fat."
She laughed again and he smiled at her.
"There's my apprentice," he nodded.
She leaned against his chest with the side of her head and her eyes danced over the collection of stolen items Garrett had on display. One of them stuck out at her and she blinked to make sure she wasn't seeing things.
"Hey," she said. "That necklace. That was what you made me steal when I finished my training. You called it my final exam."
"Yes."
"You said you were gonna sell it."
"I did say that."
"You… You kept it? All this time?"
Garrett stroked her hair again and told her, "There's no teacher alive who isn't proud of his favorite student."
"I'm your only student."
"That doesn't change what I just said."
Proud. He'd said it. He'd been proud all along. Since the day she'd finished all his lessons. She couldn't process that. Erin closed her eyes in disbelief and bit her lip. A single tear rolled down her cheek.
It was different from all the others.
It was a tear of happiness.
