Epilogue I: Erickson McRae
While my trust for Avarice had been somewhat replenished over the years, the same could not be said for his mind-altering brother; Lazarus had permanently lost my good graces a long time ago. This was why I was moving through the quiet streets of Forks, tracking the unique odors of the two McRae brothers. I had a bad feeling, and I deeply hoped that I was wrong.
As I ran, a familiar street came into view, and I had to fight the urge to peek into her window once again. It had been close to two months since I had seen my Bella, and the desire to hold her, to feel her warmth against my frigid being had not wavered. I began to slow my pace, retreating from my vampiric speed to a human dash, but as I was about deviate from my course I picked up a fresh scent. Lazarus had been here quite recently.
The need to find out if my suspicions were correct instantly overrode my resurfaced human tendencies, and I pushed on through the night. The trail led me south of Forks, through the forest, and eventually ended outside our most recent home. I had to admit, as much as I loved the estate, it was reckless for us to reside in something so lavish. Something this large was bound to attract unwanted attention sooner or later. In the previous years, we had stuck to thriving in caves, abandoned houses, or, on occasion, stay on the move. However, since this was a small town, Lazarus had suggested that we find something big, so everyone would feel comfortable. That was his way of taking care of Aryana in his absence.
My spirits fell as my thoughts retreated to the one McRae I actually thought of as family. Aryana. Once again, she had reached into the jaws of death and plucked me from its grasp. There was never anything I could do for her in return; except to take her life one day. I never could understand her reasoning for accepting the compromise, but I never pushed.
I opened the front door and found Avarice and Lazarus waiting for me in the living room, the both of them looking stern and slightly upset. I wasn't surprised; they had told me to stay behind.
"Erickson." Avarice nodded his head in acknowledgement, which meant two things: they weren't happy that I was here, and they were up to something. "What are you doing here?"
"Mexico got a little hot for me," I answered nonchalantly, shrugging my shoulders and moving around the room. We hadn't packed anything up when we left, just hopped into the car and sped off into the night. I had wanted to stay behind, to at least say goodbye to her, but Lazarus had practically dragged me into the car, explaining how it would be better.
What would he know about goodbyes? He sucks at them.
"Erickson, go back to the others," Lazarus remarked firmly, taking a step in my direction.
"No," I growled in response, not liking the threatening undercurrent of his voice. "Not until I see Bella. I have to tell her I'm sorry…for leaving her."
My head fell at my own words; I had done exactly what that bastard had done to her a few months prior. Guilt was wrought all over my face, as it had been for the past couple of months. I could've broke away from the family at any time, rushed back to Forks, and stole Bella away—but I didn't. Instead I lingered in that baron, vampiric wasteland, with those ridiculous female newborns lusting after me day in and day out. Because of Aryana.
Every mile we put between us and the state of Washington, Ary grew more and more depressed. By the time we reached the southern tip of Texas, she was almost inconsolable. I felt like a sadist when I watched Lazarus try to fawn all over her, to take care of her like he once did, only to have her shirk his advances. I took some sick pleasure in watching his face twist in agonizing rejection, especially when she retreated to my side, allowing me to hug her tight; it served him right for what he had put her through.
"That is…impossible," Lazarus said, his voice faltering as he broke eye contact. "She will not wish to see you now."
I breathed heavily and closed my eyes. "Please, tell me you didn't."
When I opened my eyes again, neither of them was looking at me, and I instantly knew that what I feared most had occurred. Lazarus had erased our existence from Bella's mind; I was a stranger to the woman I loved the most. My body trembled with the intense hatred that overwhelmed me, and, rather than wonder if it was right or wrong, I unleashed my anger.
My body propelled forward and collided with Lazarus, who made no effort to react, sending both of us flying into the wall separating the living room from the bathroom. The tile shattered and the piping in the walls burst, covering us with water. I didn't care. My hands came up and found Lazarus's throat and I gripped it with all my strength, wanting to kill him for everything he'd done. It wasn't enough that he had destroyed Aryana, and the serenity of the family, when he left; he had to demolish my happiness as well.
"Erickson," Avarice called from beyond the broken wall, "drop him."
Did Avarice honestly think that requesting I stop would have any effect? I was through with holding back my aggression, through with bowing to the supposed "head" of the McRae family; now, I just wanted to rip the son of a bitch to pieces. I found it briefly shocking that he made no attempt to fight me, but didn't care; I brought my teeth to his neck and bit down, finally forcing a pained grunt from him, and pulled a chunk of his flesh away from his body.
This was apparently too far.
I was immediately airborne; flying backwards through the air at high speed. Knowing exactly what was happening; I rolled my eyes and waited for my crash landing. It was a window that ultimately suffered under my weight, shattering and giving me my exit into the outside world. Once my body had come to a stop, I found my footing and made my way back into the house. I wasn't finished with him yet.
Avarice stood in front of his brother, a serene expression on his face, and I cursed loudly, knowing that I couldn't touch him. Avarice and Lazarus were powerful by themselves, but together they were unbeatable. I was still confused why the Volturi had refused to help them; Aro liked to collect gifted vampires, so why didn't he want the two brothers?
"Calm yourself, Erickson," Avarice said and took a deep breath. "I know this is…not what you wanted, but it really is what's best for Bella. She wouldn't survive in our life."
"You don't know that," I hissed, fisting my hands in my hair. "I was going to change her; she was going to join the family."
"A newborn would be too much trouble," Avarice sighed and took a step forward. "I'm sorry, Eric—I truly am."
"Did she say anything? Did she mention me at all?" I held onto hope that somewhere, some part of Bella still loved me, still wanted me. Did she hold me on the same level as the Cullen boy, or was I special? I had to know.
"She—" Avarice began slowly but was abruptly cut off.
"She said nothing," Lazarus said quickly and crossed his arms. "Right, brother?"
Avarice glanced at Lazarus for a few seconds before slowly nodding, and the final nail found its home in my metaphorical coffin.
I turned away from the two of them, feeling my gut twist and my dead heart shudder in agony. The love I had for Bella was uncontrollable and undeniable, and the pain, knowing that she no longer felt the same way I felt, was indescribable. My knees buckled and I crashed to the floor, a deep shudder cutting through me. I loved her, yes, I loved her. She was the first human woman that elicited these hidden emotions and feelings, and now, I meant nothing to her. The idea alone was devastating; realizing that it was the truth, was crushing.
"Your pain is only temporary, brother," Lazarus mused beside me, patting my shoulder softly.
"My torture is unyielding," I hissed in response, gripping the floor beneath me. The wood splintered in my grasp, and I snarled as I pulled up one of the floor boards. "There's no rest for me from suffering!"
"There is solitude, brother," he insisted and placed the other hand on the opposite shoulder. "I assure you."
That was when the draining began; I knew it because I had been through it before. A few days after the McRae brothers had discovered that I wanted to destroy Aryana, Lazarus had taken it upon himself to lock away any and all memories of my wife. I couldn't remember her name or what she looked like; all I could recall was that I had a wife and was madly in love with her at one time.
I suppose I could respect his reason for wanting to do this; as her mate, Lazarus would do anything and everything to protect Aryana. However, when I realized what he had done, I flew into a rage. How would you feel if you realized every memory you had with the person you loved was gone? Now, as the memories with Bella flashed before my eyes, a part of my brain was screaming at me to do something, but another part was simply enjoying the images. I sighed heavily as I saw the first time we kissed, well, the first time I had kissed her. A soft smile tugged at my lips at the same time my rational side broke through.
"No!"
My eyes shot open and, after pushing his arm away from me, I spun around and came face-to-face with Lazarus. His eyes held a soft surprise, but quickly evened out as he called for Avarice. Before I could move, Avarice seized me around the chest and tightened his grasp as I kicked. My eyes turned back towards Lazarus, who was moving closer with his hand outstretched.
"Let me go!" I tried to elbow Avarice, only for his grasp to squeeze me even more. "I won't let you do this again! Stop!"
Two things happened simultaneously as Lazarus tried to finish what he had started; the front door flew open, hitting the wall with a bang, and a very furious Aryana slammed into her husband. Avarice released me and I thrust myself across the room, close to the side door. Part of me wanted to bolt out the door, but the thought that Ary might need my help forced me to stay.
"You lying, manipulative bastard!" I heard Ary snarl, and, when I turned around, I saw my sister with her hands around Lazarus's neck. She had used her strength, and his unwillingness to harm her, to force him to his knees.
"Aryana, stop!" Avarice growled, trying with all his might to break her grasp. Since she already had her hands on him, Avarice's ability wouldn't save Lazarus. "Please, let him go!"
"Do it," Lazarus croaked, and Aryana looked down at him. "Please, Yana; let me die by your hands."
"Damn it!" Aryana roared angrily and pushed him away, sending his body crashing into a side table. She stalked away from the brothers and retreated to my side. "Are you all right?"
"Did you know?" I had to know if she knew what Lazarus had planned to do to Bella. She had never lied to me before, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that she was in on this.
"Know what?" She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes.
"No games, no riddles, Aryana," I snarled and shifted my entire body in her direction. "Did you know that they planned on locking away Bella's memory?"
Ary's back went straight as an arrow, and, as her eyes narrowed, her entire body began to tremble. We both turned slowly to face the two brothers, who were looking guiltier than ever. A slow rumble came from her chest, and I immediately knew that she knew nothing about their plans.
"How could you?" she whispered and Lazarus's face fell. "It wasn't enough that you broke me, you had to destroy what little I had rebuilt."
"No, Yana, I—"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Her voice made us all flinch; there was so much pain, suffering, and pure anger in her voice that frightened me to the core.
There was an earsplitting silence that disturbed me, and, for once, I didn't know what to do. The brotherly part of me wanted to comfort Aryana, to remind her that she was still loved, but the other side told me, in her furious state, she might give me another scar. Lazarus could not tear his eyes from his wife, while Avarice refused to look at anyone.
"I made her a promise," Ary finally said, directing her words at me.
"You shouldn't have done that, Ary," Avarice said softly, and her head snapped in his direction, earning him a severe snarl. "Don't you growl at me, Aryana; you know very well why you should not have done what you did."
"She deserves better," Ary challenged, her voice growing darker.
"Yes," Avarice agreed and took a step forward. "She deserves better than a life of running, an existence of hiding, fearing for her life. You told me once that you wish Ira, Dante, and all the others would leave, so they could lead happy lives."
"Ira and Dante stay because Lazarus saved their lives," Ary growled and turned her back on them.
"They stay for you!" Lazarus growled angrily, which surprised us all. It was detrimental that Lazarus remained calm and composed; if he grew too angry or too emotional, then his ability could rip the immediate vicinity to pieces, along with all who inhabited it. While he had been in Texas, a few vampires had attacked the house he was staying in, and made an attempt to kill him. He grew angry and the house was completely destroyed in a matter of seconds; the police were baffled.
"You always fill our ears with your self-loathing," Lazarus said furiously, his crimson eyes burning as he approached Aryana. "You go on and on about how you should live in solitude, and, yet you promise something so contradictory to Bella. I love you, Yana, but you need to make up your damn mind."
"Erickson," Ary said steadily, the same voice she had when she was making every attempt to control herself. "You need to leave."
"What?" How could she ask me to leave?
"Did I stutter?" she snapped back at me. "This is not your fight."
The harshness in her voice alerted something inside me, and, after one last look at the two brothers, I turned and dashed out the door. As I ran through the forest, I wondered where she wanted me to go, what she wanted me to do. However, as I ran alongside the highway, I knew immediately where my body was taking me, and I didn't fight it. With one last look towards the house I had called my home, I disappeared into the dead of night.
Epilogue II: Aryana McRae
"Well, that could've gone better," Avarice mumbled behind me as I watched Erickson disappear into the shadows in the forest. I sighed and shifted back to face the two brothers, ready to tear them both apart, and was surprised when Avarice growled at Lazarus. "Why didn't you tell him what Bella said? You lied to him!"
"If I had been honest with him," Lazarus responded, without tearing his eyes from mine, "then he wouldn't have left. He would have remained in the shadows of Bella's world, looking for a way in; in the end, he would have unintentionally destroyed both their lives."
"It wouldn't have to be that way," I sniped, crossing my arms accusingly, "if you two had simply left her alone."
"And what will happen when the pure bloods send their spies, Aryana?" Avarice demanded, crossing the space between us. "What will Bella do when they discover what she knows?"
"That's why she should come with us," I reasoned, but immediately felt the futility of my own argument. Bella wouldn't remember me now. I'd be just another face in the crowd—with a really striking eye color.
"This is a mess." Avarice ran a hand through his dark hair, glanced back at his brother, and hissed. "And you should consult me the next time you decide to shuffle anyone's memories! My God, did you actually think that would work?"
"Possibly," Lazarus said, his face faltering as he rubbed the site where Erickson had bitten him. I had to agree; attempting to lock Erickson's memory in the spur of the moment was pretty idiotic. "Though, I must admit, it wasn't the smartest decision."
"Well, you haven't exactly been making those lately, have you?" Avarice turned to face his brother fully, his back arched, and his voice laced with venomous rage.
"And what is that meant to imply?" Lazarus finally broke eye contact with me, and looked at his brother.
I rolled my eyes slightly and prepared myself. I knew exactly where this was going.
"Oh, nothing much, brother," he remarked sarcastically, taking a step towards Lazarus. "Just that you broke my sister, left her to fend for herself, and it doesn't even seem to bother you."
"You assume too much, Avarice," Lazarus answered testily. "Until you've been inside my head, you should keep your mouth shut."
"You don't deserve her," Avarice whispered and turned away, heading towards the front door. "You never have."
If there was one skill Avarice had, other than his shielding capabilities, that no one else knew of, it was this—like any sibling, he knew just what to say to make his bother angry. After they had helped me escape the Side Show, it wasn't just Lazarus who had proclaimed his affection for me; Avarice had revealed to me on several occasions that he loved me as well. The two, eventually realizing that they each wanted what the other craved, almost declared war—until I was bitten. This was all before Avarice met Skye, of course, but that small part of our history was enough to make Lazarus crazy. Now, as Avarice started to leave, my estranged husband erupted like a volcano, and so did everything around us.
I had lied to Bella when I had told her Lazarus wasn't a telekinetic. It wasn't that I didn't trust her; I guess I had just gotten so used to keeping his secret, it'd become like second nature to me. Why was it a secret? Because Aro of the Volturi had hunted us down for Avarice's ability. Thankfully, Lazarus's had not fully developed yet.
In truth, in the past hundred years Lazarus' gifts had evolved into something dangerously volatile. His telekinesis depended on his moods: if he was calm, he could flip vases around with his mind, if he was angry, he became an unstoppable force of nature.
Now, as his temper swelled, so did the air around us.
Avarice spun around, his eyes wide in shock, as the walls began to shake and the windows shattered. He frowned in disapproval and crossed his arms. "Seriously? You're going to throw a temper tantrum?"
The rumbling became louder and the walls slowly began to crumble.
"What do you hope to accomplish, Lazarus?" Avarice continued, unfazed by the imminent destruction around us. Then again, we both knew that we'd survive if the house exploded; the worst that would happen to us is being thrown all the way to Seattle. "Or are you upset that what I said is the truth?"
The railing on the staircase combusted, the wood flakes drifting down to the ground like snow, and the window panes ripped from the walls. Despite my anger with Lazarus, I knew that this would certainly draw too much attention to Forks; I had to do something to calm the storm. But what?
"Everything could have been different," Avarice snapped, his eyes falling to the floor.
The picture frames, holding all of our portraits, shot off the wall and crashed to the floor. Still Avarice did not move or look afraid. I looked at Lazarus; his face was angry, but there was a slight sadness behind his eyes. Avarice's words appeared to be hitting their mark, and I immediately knew what I had to do. The raging, angry side of me cursed the idea stirring in my head, but I shoved it aside. I pushed myself away from the wall I had been clinging to and walked directly to Lazarus. He eyed me warily but I could feel his power diminishing the closer I got.
Finally, I was standing directly in front of him, looking up into his black irises, the force of his ability swishing my hair about me. I closed my eyes as my memories overtook me and I recalled another time, another place.
It was autumn and we had just made it to the New England coastline. I could feel Lazarus approaching me, and I immediately tensed up. Before we had left, he had asked me to be his mate, and, not exactly sure what that entailed, I had said "yes." We had traveled by boat, but had abandoned ship when we realized it would take less time to swim there. I had not spoken to him since we had boarded the vessel.
Now as he approached, a chill swept over my body and heat boiled within me when his hand found my shoulder. With a deep breath, I shifted and found him staring at me cautiously. His hand trailed down to the small of my back.
The air caught in my throat and I stopped breathing. This was still strange to me, even though I had been changed over a month prior, and my brow deepened as I pondered it. Sensing my uncertainty, Lazarus cupped my face with his hands and smiled warmly.
I loved it when he smiled at me like that.
Then, with a small sigh, he leaned in a pressed his lips to mine. Lightning shot into my mouth, traveled down my arms and through my legs. My entire being was buzzing and teaming with life, and my heart raced in my chest. Without thinking, I wrapped myself around him, wanting nothing more than to be connected to him, and felt him smile in our kiss.
When I came back from my thoughts, I realized immediately that I had gone above and beyond. Having been so wrapped up in my memories, I had practically reenacted the kiss right there in the living room. The good news was the house had settled down, the annoying news was that tiny fragments of glass were spinning through the air—compliments of Lazarus's blissful state—, and the bad news was that Avarice was simply watching us, wearing a haunted expression.
Realizing that continuing to inhale my husband's face was not the best option, I took a step back and lowered my eyes. "Do you feel better, now?"
I heard him inhale deeply and after a few seconds of silence, answered, "Yes."
I looked to Avarice. "Are you all right?"
"Do I look all right?" He answered, not meeting my gaze.
"Avarice," I sighed but he held up his hand, silencing me, and disappeared deeper into the house. I could hear the backdoor open and close, followed by his footsteps trailing away. I growled and slashed at the nearest wall, which splintered under my assault. "Why does this always happen?"
"Yana," Lazarus called, and I briefly reveled in how he pronounced my nickname. "My brother's emotions are his to control; don't trouble yourself on his account."
"He's troubled himself on my account," I hissed, glaring at him over my shoulder. "He and Erickson have gone out of their way to help me," I spun around, "what have you done?"
He blurred forward, his face contorting as he moved, and seized my wrists. His black eyes bore into my face with an angry intensity that I'd only seen directed at others. He snarled viciously as he grasped me, pulling me closer, and breathed heavily.
"I've done nothing but protect you," he roared, releasing my hands so he could cup my cheeks. "Why can't you believe that? Aryana, you've been my entire world since I met you."
This was too much for me.
I stepped away and shoved him, sending him flying into the wall, and fell into a crouch on the ground. If he loved me then how could he say all those horrible things to me? "Maybe you should have thought of that in Ontario."
"I'm not saying I wasn't a complete ass," he said, throwing up his hands in defense. "I'll regret that for the remainder of my life, I don't deserve your forgiveness."
"Glad we agree on something," I answered snidely.
"Please, Aryana," he pleaded, taking a step towards me. "I need you with me."
"That's where we differ, Lazarus," I responded and sighed. "I don't need you."
His face fell.
"Are you leaving us?" he whispered anxiously, referring to whether I was leaving the family or not.
"No." I would stay as long as the others needed me, and not a second longer. "But I want to make something abundantly clear; I do not wish to be anywhere near you."
"Yana, please—"
"Now," I continued, cutting him off, "if you don't mind, I have to go."
"Where are you going?" he asked despondently, barely looking at me.
"I need to pick up the family baggage." And I knew exactly where to find him.
I gazed up at Bella's opened window, thoroughly disturbed by my brother's actions, and sighed heavily. Finding him was easy; even if I wasn't able to follow his scent, I would've ended up here regardless. Of course, I was shocked to find Bella's window open, and Erickson's scent trailing through it.
"Please, tell me you're not in there," I said, exasperated.
"Leave me alone," his voice answered weakly from within the house.
I crouched, jumped softly—my strength putting me at the window's level— and maneuvered myself through the window. Erickson sat beside Bella's bed, shoulders slightly hunched, gazing at her longingly. I sighed heavily and sat beside him, allowing my hand to rest on his knee.
"So what's the plan?" he asked bleakly, his voice wavering.
"Back to Mexico," I answered and shifted to face him. "I came to get you."
"Why?" He responded lifelessly and I knew exactly what that meant. He planned on staying.
"You can't stay here, Eric," I said softly, knowing that if he chose to, no one could stop him. Erickson wasn't tied to the family as tightly as I was; he was free to make his own choices. "It won't help you anymore than it will help her."
"I know," he responded, surprising me. "I wanted to say goodbye, I just can't figure out how."
"I swear I didn't know," I whispered, feeling bitterness towards the two brothers for Bella's current predicament. "If I had…"
"I know," he said, softly.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to Bella's steady heartbeat, before Erickson sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "What's going to happen to her?"
"What do you mean?"
"The consequences of Lazarus's mind play," he said, his words contorting venomously when speaking about my husband, and turned to me. "How's it going to affect her?"
"I honestly don't know," I responded, feeling the anxiety set in. "It depends on the amount of time spent around us. She's been closer than any other human, so I can't say for sure."
"The nightmares, the headaches," he moaned, and leaned back. "Someone should have warned her."
"It wouldn't have done any good." I shrugged, implying that Bella would have forgotten any warning we had given her. "We can only hope that, whatever happens, she'll get through it."
"Do you think she hates me?"
"Why on earth would you ask such a question?" I looked at him incredulously, shaking my head. "Bella loves you, Eric."
"I can't be sure of that," he said, lowering his head. "I can't be sure of anything."
"Yes, you can," I insisted, rising off the ground. "Be sure that you're my brother—and my friend."
"Ary." He sighed and looked away. "Stop."
"Eric," I said softly. "I need you with me; I can't do this without you."
Ever since Eric and I had made our compromise, we had gotten infinitely closer. True, I didn't approve of his methods of socializing with humans, but he was my friend regardless. I was unable to remember my own family, so those I was close with were near and dear to me. Avarice, Dante, Ira, Melena, Argos, Skye, and Erickson were all the family I never had. I tried to include Lazarus in that fold, but he had felt it necessary to withdraw himself. So be it.
I moved away from Eric to the window, and hopped down to the ground below. The air had grown colder, even though I could barely feel it, and the wind was beginning to howl. I was just about to start wondering if Eric was going to stay behind when I heard Bella's window shut. When I turned, I found Eric standing behind me, his face still depressed and broken.
"Well," he said, shrugging. "We might as well get going."
I smiled and nodded.
"That was really creepy, by the way," I said as we walked slowly up Bella's street.
"What was?" Eric asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Finding you in her room like that," I admitted, remembering how disturbing I found it that he was prowling around in her room in the dark.
"What's so bad about that?" He stopped and looked at me, his hands on his hips. I stifled a laugh; an indignant Erickson was always entertaining. "Seriously, tell me, Aryana."
"It's just weird, Eric," I answered, struggling to hold in my hysterics. "You, hiding in the darkness, skulking around."
"Well, of course it sounds weird," he agreed sarcastically, "when you put it like that!"
"I just call it like I see it," I said, smiling a bit wider.
A strangled scream came from the direction of Bella's house causing us to stop and turn. The light in her bedroom switched on, and moments later her father's voice woke her. Erickson and I simply stood there, staring at the illuminated window in the Swan household.
"Is it happening already?" Eric finally spoke, breaking the silence, taking a miniscule step back towards the house.
"No," I answered, shaking my head. "This is something else."
Whenever Lazarus shuffled someone's memories, we had observed that they would suffer headaches and nightmares as a result. However, the nightmares and such didn't start until a couple months afterward; I had no earthly idea as to why Bella was screaming in her sleep.
"Should we stay?" Eric was still making small movements towards the house. His eyes were desperate and frantic as the screaming melted into crying.
"No, Eric," I answered, shaking my head. "There's nothing more we can do for her."
With a deep sigh, Eric turned away and we both continued moving up the street, falling back into silence. The further we got from Bella's house, the more our pace quickened. By the time we got around the corner, we broke out into a sprint, taking us to the edge of town in less than a minute. We stopped as we found my Audi waiting where I had parked it, just behind the "Welcome to Forks" sign.
"Do you think we'll ever come back?" Eric asked, and as I turned, I found him staring back across the small town in the distance.
"Possibly," I admitted and he turned to me. "You never know what the future will hold."
He smiled at me, nodded, and we both climbed into the car. As we pulled away, I glanced in the rearview mirror, and watched the tiny town of Forks disappear. With a silent hope for Bella's safety, and a worry about what tomorrow would bring, we vanished into the dead of night.
Author's Note: Sequel (Nocturne) will be reposted