Thank you to StormyEyesForever for the review, even if you are the only one to read I will write on for you! :) I hope I don't let you down. Also don't think I didn't notice those who favorited and followed this story, I hope you like this as well
I have literally been dreaming about this story all week. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. My goal is to upload regularly once a week.
I am covered with sweat and my breathing is labored when I finally awake from my dream. This is a simulation, plays over and over in my mind. The walls begin to feel like they're closing in on me, my thoughts ricocheting off of the corners of my mind. Looking around the dimly lit room I try to ground myself in the comfort of the familiarity of my surroundings. But even the same plain walls I have stared at for years don't seem to bring me any comfort.
Running my hand over my face I berate myself for being so stupid. Of course this isn't a simulation. Simulations and serums of any kind haven't been used in the past four years. Besides, if this were a simulation, what would be the purpose?
Despite my rational thoughts I can't seem to shake the dream, unlike most nights, and this bothers me. Glancing at the clock I realize it is only 4AM. That means everyone is still asleep.
Moving as quietly as possible I slip on some clothes before tiptoeing out of the house. The last thing I need is Christina breathing down my neck. As soon as my feet hit the pavement I break into a run.
I focus on the labored sound of my breathing, and the quick thumping of my heart beneath my chest. My legs feel like springs making me teeter from side to side as each foot hits the ground.
I only stop when the sweat is burning my eyes, my hands resting on my hips. Tris is still ever present in my mind, and I realize I have come to the building I have tried to avoid for the past 4 years.
The Hancock building hovers above me, and even in the night I can make out the thin dark strip of cable that still runs from the top of the building. Despite that one similarity it is much different from the last time I was here.
No longer is it empty and lifeless. It has become an office building now, and even in the early morning a few stray lights illuminate some of the windows. My chest tightens at the thought that everyday it changes more and more. The idea of Tris flying across the sky seems faint and unnatural now.
Turning away from the building I take off into an easy jog, trying to escape the pain but not wanting to outrun the memory. When I get back to my front door I stop to admire the sun just beginning to peek around the buildings just behind me.
Opening the door I find it oddly silent. There are no sounds of breakfast cooking, and it seems even the noisy furnace is quiet for once.
Needing some water I head towards the kitchen, stopping dead in my tracks when I find Christina already there. Her arms are crossed tightly across her chest and there is fire in her eyes.
"Where were you?" She demands, her jaw tense.
"I went for a run, is that a crime?" I snap back, not liking being questioned. I am an adult after all.
One of her hands moves in front of her mouth to form a first that she leans against. She looks tired, and much older than she actually is. There is the fleeting thought that it is because of me, but before I can expand on it her words break my concentration.
"What was the dream about this time?"
"I didn't dream last night. I just woke up antsy and needed to run." I don't know why but for the first time I don't want to share my dream with her.
"That is bullshit!" Christina screams, both of her hands are clenched in fists by her sides now.
"You worry too much." I say trying to brush her off, moving next to her to pull a glass out of the cupboard above her head.
"You can't let her keep controlling you. She isn't here, Tobias. Tris is dead!"
Slamming the glass on the counter I hear it shatter against the tile, but I don't loosen my grip even when I feel the warmth of my blood seeping between my fingers.
"You know what Christina, it is none of your goddamn business what I do, or think, or fucking dream! You're not my mother, and you sure as hell aren't my girlfriend!"
Christina pales, reeling back as though she's just been slapped. I can feel that the tension is thick and awkward between us, something that I am not understanding that is unspoken between the two of us, but I refuse to back down now.
"I can't watch you self destruct anymore! This isn't healthy!" She finally hisses at me before storming out of the room.
Systematically I begin cleaning up the pieces of broken glass, dropping them into the trash. Turning on the faucet I watch the blood from my hand mix with the rushing water turning the dark crimson to a soft pink before disappearing down the drain.
My mind swims with everything from my dream to the fight I just had with Christina and I am finding it hard to sort through everything. Why is Christina so upset? Does she have feelings for me? I already know that even if she does I could never return them. The only bond I feel between us is the connection that we both lost someone we love. And that we both lost Tris. And why does Tris keep showing up in my dream? Is it a false hope, or a desperate need to keep her alive?
All of my rationality tells me I may just be losing my mind, but I can't stop the niggling feeling in the back of my mind that I am still missing something.
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