Bianca's POV
Being with Adam and finally establishing some sort of relationship with him, however currently only physical, has sparked so many feelings. Kissing him ignited a passion inside me that I haven't felt before, it was love, lust, and longing all in one kiss. Love because I think I'm falling for this guy harder than I've ever fallen for anyone before and that both terrifies and excites me. Lust because Adam's kisses all over my body felt like the best kind of torture, slow, precise, and sensual. And longing because even though he's right next to me, I know that he's not someone I can call mine. Everything good comes to an end. The sun will set on this perfect day and snap us back to reality where life is bound to come tumbling down.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Adam asks, noticing I've been a little quiet as we're walking along tourist shops.
"Is that all they're worth to you?" I tease.
He pretends to think for a moment, "Okay I'll go as high as a quarter, but unless you're thinking up Newton's undiscovered fourth law of motion don't expect me to go much higher than that."
"How about I trade you? You tell me what you're thinking about and then I'll tell you what I'm thinking about," I suggest.
"But my thoughts are priceless," Adam jokes.
"Which makes me all the more curious," I reply.
Giving into my compromise, he says, "Hmm, I guess I can give you the 'pretty girl' discount." I blush at his compliment but he starts talking before he notices, "I was thinking about what would have happened on the boat if we didn't get interrupted," he says with a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
I roll my eyes, "Perv," I say playfully smacking his arm. Seriously though, if we hadn't been interrupted, what would have happened? I already cheated on Drew with his brother, it would have been a million times worse if things went farther than they already did.
He laughs, "You asked, remember?"
I scoff, "You're such a stereotypical guy." In reality, Adam's not stereotypical at all. He's sweet, funny, considerate, charming, and much more. Any girl that's ever talked to him before would know that.
"Nu uh," Adam whines in protest.
"Yeah huh, guys think about sex like every 5 seconds," I accuse.
Adam pretends to look offended, "I'm much more evolved than that, I only think about it every 8 seconds," he jokes.
"Oh wow, vast improvement," I say sarcastically.
"I know, I'm impressive," he says boastfully, ignoring my obvious sarcasm.
I laugh while shaking my head, "You're something," I say back. Something incredible.
"I'll take that as a compliment," he says flashing a smile at me. "Your turn, what were you thinking about?" He asks.
I imagine what telling Adam the truth would look like.
Daydream:
I turn to face him, look straight into his eyes and say, "Adam, I like you and I want to be with you." He looks surprised and opens his mouth to speak but I keep going, "And before you say anything, let me just get this all out there." I take a deep breath and continue, "I know us being together doesn't make much sense, I know we'd face a lot of challenges, and the odds are definitely against us. I know I'm technically still dating Drew, I know I'm going to graduate at the end of the year, and I know that Audra would never approve."
He laughs and says, "She'd come around eventually."
"Shh, I'm not finished," I reprimand. He pretends to zip his mouth closed and looks at me like he's ready for me to continue. I roll my eyes at the dramatics and continue talking, "Even though all these things are pitted against us, I still want to be with you. I know it's selfish of me, but I want what I want, and you are what I want."
A few moments pass after I finish talking. Adam looks at me, raising his eyebrows as if asking a question. It takes me a second before I catch on, "You can talk now."
He pretends to unzip his mouth, causing me to smile at his theatrics, and says, "You sure talk a lot."
I laugh, that wasn't the reaction I was expecting, "I had a lot to say on the matter," I say in defense.
"So you've put a lot of thought into this," he says half question, half statement.
"Yeah I guess," I shyly admit.
"Listen Bee, I'm flattered but I don't like you like that. I like hanging out with you and stuff but we're better off as friends," Adam says trying to let me down easy, "Besides, I could never do that to Drew."
End Daydream
Just imagining the conversation ending like that causes my heart to ache.
"Uh I was thinking about Drew," I say, answering Adam's question. Okay so that wasn't entirely true, but it kind of ties into what I was really thinking about. I can't be with Adam until I end it with Drew.
"Oh," Adam says faintly, dropping his head down to look at his shoes.
Not wanting Adam to get the wrong idea, I quickly say, "And how I think I'm going to break up with him."
"Oh," Adam says sounding surprised. I look up to gage his reaction but he's looking at something across the street.
"Promise me one thing though," I say more as a demand than a question.
"What?" He asks, turning his attention back to me.
"Promise me that Drew and I breaking up won't make things awkward between us," I say. It's not like I want Adam to choose me over his brother or anything, I just don't want to lose the connection that's between us.
"Why would it?" He asks, genuinely perplexed.
"Because… I don't know, you might have to hate me out of loyalty to your brother or something," I say slightly saddened at the thought.
Adam stops walking and looks right at me, "I could never hate you Bee," he says sincerely. Truer words have never been said. If the past has taught me anything it's that Adam doesn't have a hateful bone in his body. I can feel his heavy gaze upon me, his eyes pouring into mine, and it feels like we might kiss again. He breaks the gaze by looking down, "Besides we're friends now, remember? You breaking up with Drew won't change that," he says.
Hearing the word 'friends' only reaffirms my thoughts that Adam doesn't want something serious with me. Which is confusing because after we hooked up I kind of thought we might be on the same page. When I was kissing him I could literally feel the chemistry, the sparks, the connection. It definitely wasn't on a friendly level. But maybe I was reading into things too much, maybe Adam's just really good in bed.
…..
Adam's POV
Did I say something wrong? Bianca's been kind of quiet since we talked about Drew. Maybe thinking about breaking up with him has just put her in an introverted mood. I shrug away my worries.
We continue walking along the shops for a few more minutes before she turns to me and says, "I think we should head back." I pull out my phone to check the time, 3:51 in the afternoon. It's probably a good idea, we're already going to hit rush hour traffic, so we won't make it back until at least 7:00.
"Yeah okay," I say. I'd hate to cut my time with Bianca short, but I think our day of escape is over. I wonder if this day was a special to her as it was to me. Even under the charade of friendship, this has been the best non-date day I've ever had.
We walk back to the car and start toward home. It's a quiet ride with only occasional small talk. Now that we're in the car, the magic of today has slowly vanished. Neither of us want to talk about what's ahead of us, or what's behind us. We're heading toward home, reality, and we're leaving behind the boat ride. I don't know why Bee and I can talk about so many things, but when it comes to us we both rather ignore it. I mean, she probably has more stressful things to think about than me, but she's all I have to consume my thoughts.
Now that's she's breaking up with Drew she'll be officially available. Well available to every guy except me. She'll always be my brother's ex. It'd be extremely shitty of me to pursue her. Why is Drew always the one guy standing in my way when it comes to women? I know I shouldn't see it that way. He's my brother. I love him no matter what and I know he feels the same. Does that mean he could forgive me for hooking up with his girlfriend? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But does that mean he could forgive me if I ever dated Bianca? That's asking a lot of him, but I think our brotherhood would survive. If he wouldn't forgive me, and I wouldn't blame him if he didn't, is Bianca worth losing my brother?
After a pretty quiet 3 hour car drive, I finally see the interstate exit for Toronto. After a 30 minute battle through downtown, I turn into my neighborhood. I look over and see Bianca fidgeting, she must be getting nervous.
I pull up in front of my house and shut off the engine. "You sure you want to do this now?" I asks, trying to convey the right amount of concern.
Bianca looks out the car window at the Torres' house with a look of dread on her face, "Now or never," she sighs.
"Want me to go with you?" I offer. Yeah great idea, the guy she cheated on Drew with, who also happens to be his brother, should be in attendance during this break up.
She shakes her head, "I need to do this alone." I don't want her to think she's alone, I want her to know she always has me.
"Okay well I'll be at The Dot, text me when you're ready for me to come pick you up," I say.
Bianca nods and exits the car. I watch her walk up to the door and ring the doorbell before reluctantly backing out of the driveway. I don't really want to leave her right now, alone with Drew, but it's what she wants. She turns back and looks at me, I lift my fingers of the wheel in a weak attempt at a wave. I have a bad feeling that this won't go well for either of them.
I've been sitting at The Dot for five minutes, biting the nails on my left hand and tapping the table with the fingers on my right hand. To say the least, I'm internally freaking out. I'm probably more nervous than Bianca is. I hope she's alright. Drew has been known to have a temper, I hope he keeps it under control. Maybe I should have gone with her, or maybe I should have waited in the driveway. If she needs me, I won't know. Well, I mean she can always text me, but I won't be able to get there for at least 10 minutes, and that's if I speed. I grab my keys off the table and contemplate driving back to my house. I can just wait out front, no big deal. Better to be safe than sorry. I get up from the table, having successfully convinced myself to head back to my house, when I see Eli walk into The Dot.
Eli notices me and says, "Hey buddy."
I walk over to him and say, "Hey dude, sorry but I was just leaving." I offer a short apologetic smile before reaching for the door.
"No way, hang out with me a bit," Eli says, putting his arm around me and redirecting me toward the table I was just sitting at. "I've hardly seen you all week," Eli says, taking a seat. "What have you been up to?" He asks. Where do I start? I mean I told Eli the whole story, well the story as of Monday. And I mean it's only been a week, but already so much has happened.
"Just hanging out," I reply casually, keeping my answers vague yet honest.
"How's it been staying with Fiona?" Eli asks.
"It's been fun actually, her loft is sweet. We got take out last night and stayed up watching movies. She has a huge TV and the comfiest couch. I could definitely get used to staying at her place" I reply. I don't think I'll mention the unexpected guest that's staying with her as well.
"Don't forget us little people now that you're living the lifestyle of the rich and famous," Eli jokes.
"Of course I won't!" I pause for a second, "Wait, what's your name again?" I tease. Joking with Eli relaxes me, it reminds me how freeing my life is when it centers on friends and not relationships.
He laughs and slaps me on the back of the head, "That help you remember?"
"Yup," I say rubbing the part on the head that he hit me, "It's definitely all coming back to me now."
Eli smirks, "Do you want to grab some food and take it back to my place? I just got the Grand Theft Auto game." It sounds tempting, it really does. Hanging out with my best friend, drama free, playing a fun new video game. But Bianca's going to text me to pick her up at any time, I can't make plans right now.
Sadly, I have to say no, "I can't dude, sorry."
"Why not?" Eli asks, not wanting to take no for an answer. "Come on, it'll be a guy's night." We haven't had a guy's night in a while, Clare usually crashes it.
Regardless, I can't bail on Bianca, "I have some things I need to take care of," I say not wanting to tell Eli about Bianca's situation.
"Like what?" Eli asks. He's persistent, I'll give him that.
Tired of evading Eli's questions, and not wanting to lie, I decide to come clean, "I'm waiting for Bianca to text me."
He gives me a weird look, "Your ditching me for a text message? You do know you'll get the text no matter where you are, right? My house does have cell service."
"I know, but when she texts me I'll have to pick her up," I say as a poor explanation. Eli looks confused, I shrug, "It's a long story."
"I got nothing but time," Eli says. I don't usually hide things from my best friend, so I might as well tell him everything.
"Alright, well the quick version is that Friday when I dropped by my house after school, Drew and Bianca were hooking up, but it wasn't exactly consensual. I brought Bee with me to Fiona's since she didn't want to stay with Drew. Now she's at my house talking to Drew, and when she's done I'm going to pick her up," I explain. I leave out the part about Niagara Falls because that's something I just want to share between Bee and I, besides, it's not pertinent to the story.
"Wow," Eli says.
"Yeah," I say, agreeing that it's a lot to process.
"I'm surprised you didn't kick Drew's ass," Eli says, taking me by surprise.
"What? Why?" I ask, confused.
"You're the type of guy that would go ape shit if you saw another guy trying to rape a girl. Add into the mix that this girl is Bianca and it's bound to be a showdown," Eli says.
"He's my brother," I say as if that makes up for everything. It's not like I think Drew is infallible, because I think everyone knows he makes mistakes left and right, it's that I love him unconditionally, regardless of his stupidity.
"Still, you must've been pissed," Eli says. I guess he's right, I was pretty mad. I know a part of me wanted to punch Drew in the face a few times. Eli asks another question, "So Bianca spent the night at Fiona's?"
"Yeah," I reply.
"How'd that go?" Eli asks.
"It was fine, I told you we're just friends. Nothing happened," I say defensively.
"Dude chill, I meant between Bianca and Fiona. They aren't exactly best friends," Eli clarifies. My bad, I guess I jumped to conclusions.
"They actually got along really well," I say, "Fiona was really chill about the whole thing and I think Bianca appreciated that."
"Did the three of you hang out today, too?" Eli asks.
"Fiona had a date with Imogen, so Bianca and I hung out until she was ready to face Drew," I say honestly, but leaving out a few minor details.
"How do you think that's going? Her and Drew," Eli asks.
"No idea," I say but feeling the sense of worry return. On a very selfish level, I'm worried she'll tell Drew that she and I hooked up. But mostly I'm worried that Bianca will get hurt. It's a helpless feeling knowing I can't protect her from everything, especially whatever it is she's going through with Drew.
…..
Bianca's POV
Drew isn't expecting me right now, nor is he expecting what's about to happen, but I don't think it can wait. We have to break up.
Only a few seconds pass before the door opens and Drew is standing there in front of me, "Bee? What are you doing here?" Drew asks looking confused. "I mean, I thought you said you weren't coming, not that I don't want you here, I do. I'm just surprised, good surprised though," he says quickly, clearly nervous. He regains composure, "Uh please, come in," he says opening the door wider for me to enter.
"Thanks," I say moving past him into the house.
"So uh, I'm glad you dropped by," he says offering me a friendly, yet apologetic, smile. So far he hasn't made any move to make physical contact and we're standing an awkward distance apart. I wonder if this is as uncomfortable for him as it is for me, probably more uncomfortable for me since I know what's about to happen.
"We need to talk," I say getting right to the point. I see no need in dragging this out.
"I know," he says. We walk toward the living room, he sits on the couch and I opt for the chair next to him.
A few silent moments pass with neither of us making eye contact. Drew clears his throat and says, "Listen Bee, let me start by saying sorry for what happened yesterday. I don't know what came over me but it will never happen again. You know I would never intentionally hurt you," he says apologetically. I know Drew wouldn't hurt me, and that's not really what any of this is about anyways. It's about what, I mean who, I want.
I see his hand hesitate before reaching out to hold my hand, and for some reason I let him. He continues, "If you find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise to be a better boyfriend." He squeezes my hand and I look up to meet his eyes, "I love you Bee," he says in a low, sincere voice. I still haven't said anything, which must have worried him because he starts talking again, "I get it if you don't trust me right now, but I promise I'll do whatever it takes to gain that trust back. Whatever problems we have, we can fix them. It's us against the world, remember?"
The words flow out without me even realizing what I'm saying, "I cheated on you." I don't know why I felt the impulse to tell him. Maybe it was out of honesty, or guilt, or maybe I thought it would be the easiest way to break up with him. Regardless, now that I've said it I know there's no going back.
The impact of those words are instantaneous. Suddenly there's a thick tension in the room, Drew dropped my hand, and his kind, loving face turns into pure anger.
Drew demands answers, "What the fuck Bee! When? With who?" He gets up from the couch and starts to pace. "I can't believe this, you won't fuck me but you go off and fuck some other guy? Unbelievable," he says tossing his hands in the air.
"I didn't fuck anyone, asshole," I say starting to get angry myself. Of course he thinks I'd slut it up with some loser guy, apparently cheating automatically insinuates sex.
"I'm not the asshole here! You're the one who cheated!" Drew shouts, getting in my face. "Is that why you cancelled today? You were too busy with the other guy?" I don't answer, knowing he doesn't want the real answer. "Tell me who he is," Drew demands.
"You don't know him," I lie, brushing past him to leave.
He grabs my arm and spins me around to face him, "Tell me," he says still holding onto my arm.
"Let me go," I say, ripping my arm out of his grip. I reach the front door and open it. I turn back and see that Drew is still standing by the couch, looking confused, hurt, and betrayed. I don't know where the anger went but right now all I see on his face is utter defeat. Delivering the final blow to this conversation, I say, "Drew, it's over." With that, I walk out the door.
With nowhere in particular in mind, I start to wander along the sidewalk. I know I could call Adam, but I need time alone. I find myself at a little park near the school and take a seat on the swing set. No one else is around which means it's safe to surrender myself to my thoughts.
Maybe I shouldn't have told Drew the truth. I could have just broken up with him, instead I shattered his heart and then broke up with him. Way to kick a man when he's down. God I'm a shitty person. Out of all the ways I could have handled that, I chose the worst way possible. With the sad realization that it's really over with Drew, I feel a few tears start to slide down my cheeks. I do feel sad over the break up, even though I was the one ending things. Drew wasn't the perfect guy, or the perfect boyfriend, but he loved me. And I loved him. Maybe I was never in love with him, but I know a part of him stole my heart. It's not like we weren't good together, because we were. Honestly, there was a time I thought he was the one for me. I thought I found a piece of forever with Drew. But things change, people change, circumstances change. Ending this chapter of my life hurts, but I know it opens the door to another great chapter. Regardless if the next chapter in my life involves Adam or not, I did what was best for me.
A/N: Sorry this update took longer, I've had serious writer's block. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but if it does, the #1 cure for writer's block is reviews from the readers! So please, review! Also, I need your input on where to take this story, because I'm drawing blanks. Drew's been taken care of, kind of, but should he find out Adam is the guy Bianca cheated on him with? Should Adam pursue Bianca? Should Bianca pursue Adam? Also, who do you want to see interact with either Bianca or Adam next? Thanks for reading, I'll update as soon as you guys give me direction!