Star Track
Ch. 2
"Fascinating," said Mr. Spork upon arrival.
"What's fascinating?" asked the captain.
"Captain, I've taken some tricorder readings, and there appear to be three life forms just over this rise."
"Let's go check it out," said Captain Cork.
The landing party made their way to the top of the rise, where they could see the life forms science officer Spork had mentioned.
"Interesting," said Spork. "Those two have the same appearance as those booger aliens from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, but the other, I'm not sure of."
"Let's wait and see what they do," suggested Boners. They waited, and without warning, the two B&T aliens pounced on the third and began mercilessly beating it senseless.
"Help!" cried the victim of the attack, in high-pitched English.
"Captain," said the doctor, "we've gotta do something."
"Help!" it cried again. "Meesa in big doodoo!"
"Captain," said Spork, "unless I'm quite mistaken, that life form is a member of the Gungan species. Specifically, I believe that one is none other than Jar Jar Binks."
"Set to Phaser Two," said Captain Cork.
"Are you certain, captain?" asked McCoy.
"Doctor," said Cork, "clearly this is a life or death situation. I repeat, set phasers to kill."
"The captain's logic is sound," agreed Spork.
The landing party hurried down to where the aliens fought. They each set their phasers to kill and took aim.
"Fire!" ordered the captain. The three of them released a beam of phaser energy, and the Gungan disintegrated. Then the B&T aliens stopped to face the landing party from the Enterprise.
"Who are you?" demanded the captain. Before answering, the two identical aliens merged into one.
"I am Station," it said.
"Station," they all repeated.
"Now," said the captain, "we had our reasons for destroying that alien, but why were you so persistent in beating it to death?"
"Likely the same reason as you," said Station. "It was an indictment of LucasFilm's character creation process, and a blemish on the entire science fiction genre."
"And so you took it upon yourself to end its existence?"
"Indeed, Captain."
"A very logical solution, Captain," offered Spork.
"Yes, Mr. Spork, I agree," said the captain.
"So now what, Jim?" demanded McCoy. Just then, two humans with guitars materialized next to them.
"Now we blast it out live!"
"Wyld Stallyns!" they all cheered.