So, this chapter is lighter in tone, hoping that it takes the bad taste that the previous one left for some. It's also lighter because what comes next is not very happy at all, but you all will probably have guessed what comes next by the time you finish reading the chapter, so I won't say anything else.

Thanks so much anesor and Apollo Wings for your reviews! I also want to thank my lovely beta Eynla for her suggestions and help!

My disclaimer as always: Bioware owns everything! I only play with the characters.

Chapter 14

Raiders! Raiders on the cliffs! And she goes ahead and tries to kill them all, ignoring the fact that they surround her! So, I have to put myself between danger and her and end up bleeding profusely! AND I need another pair of boots now!

Anders set his quill down with a shaking hand. This time, the enemy had made it a point to try to kill Hawke before attacking the rest of the group and he had felt extremely afraid. That wasn't so different from his normal reaction, except for the fact that he hadn't been afraid for himself but for Rhianna. It surprised him because that fear for another person hadn't exactly been one that he had experienced before.

Was this what it was like? Love? The fear of losing your loved one? The recklessness that he had felt while protecting her fiercely in the face of danger not caring if he died in her stead? A desire to protect her at all costs?

He sighed and rubbed his eyes as he pondered on how he had felt today – particularly because he thought his heart had stopped beating when one of the assassins working for that stupid blood mage Fell Orden had backstabbed her, and she had slumped unconscious to the ground. Fenris had let out a bloodcurdling scream in what sounded to him like the Tevinter language, followed by "I will not allow it!" and had hacked the attacker into pieces while Anders's own scream had drowned out the rest. He had then rushed forward and fallen on his knees to tend to her while Varric, Aveline, Isabela and Fenris had finished the rest of the raiders off. "Don't be dead, please!" he had whispered as he searched for a pulse frantically. He found it, and remembered sighing with relief as he brought her back from the brink of death.

Her sweet violet eyes looking up at him and her smile…Anders grabbed the quill again and continued to write, the memory of her filling him completely and causing him to tremble slightly.

I can't take this anymore! I'm not here to be a hero or a love-struck knight in shining armor! I don't bloody well own a white horse and can't wield a sword, let alone carry a shield!

Anders wrote the words angrily, underlining the last five.

I'm a mage! Not a bloody warrior! Besides, she already has a warrior! Fenris!

Upon writing the elf's name, he threw the quill onto the floor, the jealousy he was feeling making him stand up and pace the main room of the clinic angrily. The walls of the clinic felt like they were closing in on him and he grabbed his staff – the one that Hawke had given him not two days ago – and walked out of the clinic into the shadows.

He walked up to Lowtown breathing in the night air and feeling a lot better. He considered stopping by The Hanged Man for a drink for a moment, but then decided against it, realizing that he would probably run into Hawke if he went inside. He didn't want to see her so he turned, bumping into Merrill who was just arriving.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't see you, Anders," Merrill apologized hurriedly.

"Hello, Merrill!" Anders managed a smile. His eyes widened slightly when he saw who Merrill was with and he took a step back.

Velanna sneered at him and cocked an eyebrow. "You weren't expecting to see me, were you?"

Anders turned to look at Merrill who was smiling.

"You two know each other, right? From Amaranthine?"

"Uh…" Anders managed to say, his eyes now glancing back at Velanna.

"I see you still gape at others and lack proper conversational skills. Some things never change, do they?" Velanna gave a derisive laugh, which sounded like a bark to Anders.

"What are you doing here?" Anders asked, his speech returning suddenly.

"Why should I answer that question, human?" Velanna shot back at him, her eyes flashing angrily.

"Oh, it's only Anders! If you'll be working with Hawke, you're going to have to get used to seeing him!" Merrill said with a smile, oblivious to the hostility that emanated from Velanna in waves. "He's our healer!"

"I know he's a healer!" Velanna exclaimed with a sneer.

Merrill burst out laughing. "Oh, I forgot you would know! You've worked with him before, right?"

Anders couldn't believe his eyes or ears. Merrill kept on talking nonsense, and ended up inviting him into The Hanged Man. He shook his head vigorously, taking another step back.

"I – ah…have other things to do!" He turned slightly, glancing in Velanna's direction once again, who was eyeing him scornfully at the moment. "Bye, Merrill!"

He walked away rather quickly, his head down, expecting to be fried by one of Velanna's fireballs, but when he looked back, the street was empty. They had stepped inside the tavern and he was alone again.

Velanna? Working with Hawke? He felt dizzy all of a sudden and cursed under his breath. How could he let that happen? Velanna was dangerous to be around. And now that she had merged with Justice, there was no telling what would happen. She was a walking bomb that was ticking, ready to go off at the slightest provocation.

He shook his head and sighed heavily. Without knowing how or why, he found himself standing in front of the door that led into The Hanged Man. And without thinking, he turned the latch and walked inside.

He spotted Hawke instantly at a table that was near the door, sitting with Fenris – of course – and Isabela and Varric. Both Isabela and Fenris were staring curiously at Velanna. Merrill sat next to Fenris and Velanna sat next to Merrill.

Anders blinked at the scene before him, wondering where his common sense had gone to. Under the tables, perhaps? He was debating whether or not to sprint out of the place or walk out, when Hawke raised her eyes and saw him.

The look she gave him turned his knees to jelly and all thought of escape suddenly vanished without a trace. His lopsided grin and the elation he felt made him walk right up to her, and he gazed down at her longingly.

"Well, hello, Anders!" she said cheerfully, her violet eyes twinkling up a storm. "Why don't you sit right here beside me? We're planning our next mission and I'd love to have you along!"

There was an empty chair on her left and Anders took it, giving Fenris – who was sitting on her right – a playful wink. Fenris glared angrily at him and turned back to inspect Velanna. Anders suddenly brightened considerably as it dawned on him that Fenris would not appreciate having yet another mage in the group. In fact, Fenris would be extremely on edge if the mage in question had a spirit inside her.

"Fenris," Anders called out happily and the elf turned back to him with a scowl. "Velanna is a Grey Warden like me, you know!"

"I wouldn't have guessed," Fenris said in a monotone, narrowing his eyes at him.

"Oh, there is more to her than meets the eye, wouldn't you say, Hawke?" Anders said with a chuckle.

"Stop talking about me as if I wasn't here!" Velanna spat out, glaring at Anders and then at Fenris, who was now eyeing her suspiciously.

"Yes, ah, I might have neglected to tell you – "Rhianna began with a frown, capturing Fenris's attention once again, but at that moment, Velanna rose from the table angrily.

"I came with Merrill because she told me there was a job. I need money to live. I'm an experienced mage, and handy with fire. I also heal. If you have any need for me, I'm staying with Merrill for the moment. I don't have to sit here and listen to your senseless gibberish. I've had enough of it!" Velanna snarled. Without waiting for an answer from Hawke, she stalked out of the tavern and left the rest sitting at the table gaping after her.

"What is it that you neglected to tell me, Hawke, besides the obvious self-righteousness and arrogance that oozes out of her?" Fenris asked Rhianna who was still frowning.

Anders sat happily back in his chair, enjoying himself immensely. Once Hawke told Fenris about Justice and Velanna, this would effectively draw the attention away from him. It wasn't that he didn't love attention, but coming from Fenris it was downright dangerous. Besides, if they were very lucky, Fenris might lose his temper altogether and kill Velanna. As far as he could see, it was a win, win situation.

Anders smile turned into a grin when he heard Fenris yell "What?!" It was nice to know he still hadn't lost his touch…

…

Hawke entered the clinic while he was healing, so she had to stand in the shadows watching him while he smiled at his patient and stole glances at her. He could see she was angry and braced himself for the inevitable. As soon as his patients and some refugees left the clinic, Rhianna planted herself firmly in front of him, her hands on her hips and her eyes flashing angrily.

"Why did you have to go and do that for?" she demanded.

"Do what?" he answered, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

A half-growl escaped her lips and he smiled at her smugly. "Don't you dare insult me with the idea that I don't know what you've just done with Fenris!"

Anders chuckled. "I assure you I've done nothing with Fenris. Although, he does look like he's a sexy beast and must be very good in bed…"

A cry of impatience burst forth from Rhianna's red lips and his eyes glanced at them hopefully. What he wouldn't give to kiss those red lips of hers right at this very minute…

"You know what I mean! Now he's going to glare at Velanna, and she isn't the kind of person who can control her anger!"

"Noticed that, have you?" Anders grinned.

"You're impossible!" she cried, stomping her foot to emphasize her words. "Don't you know that the battles we fight are dangerous enough without having Fenris wanting to kill someone in our group?"

"I think she's dangerous. To herself and to our group," Anders replied calmly. "Fenris would probably do us all a favor if you ask me."

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but he won't go and kill her. I've made him promise not to!" Rhianna replied shrilly.

"And I'm sure he'll keep his promise," Anders commented, his smirk infuriating her even more.

"I know why you did this," she said, her breathing suddenly slowing down. "You resent Fenris keeping an eye on you, don't you?"

"It makes no difference what I feel," he shrugged sadly. "It seems you and Fenris are an item, and there is little I can do about that. Did you tell him it was a one-night-thing for you and not a happily-forever-after?"

Her eyes widened at the sudden change of subject and she took a step back, not knowing how to respond to that at first. She quickly recovered, however.

"What I do is none of your business!"

"Obviously," he agreed with a gentle shake of his head.

"What do you want from me?" she huffed.

"I want to love you," he responded easily, watching her take yet another step back. "But you won't let me. You don't want to love and you don't want anyone to love you." He paused, closing the distance between them until he was standing right in front of her. "Does Fenris know this, I wonder?"

Her eyes were fixed on his, large and beautiful, a deep, royal purple in the half-light of the room. Without a second thought, he took her face between his hands and kissed her.

She melted into his kiss, which surprised him at first, and then kissed him back. A soft sigh escaped her lips and he felt the rush of his love and passion burning inside him as he kissed her again. She broke away eventually, breathing heavily.

"What am I going to do with you?" she asked in a soft voice.

"Love me back."

Rhianna shook her head sadly, her eyes on the ground for a few moments.

"I can't," she whispered, the sadness in her voice filling him with grief.

"Why, Rhianna? Could you at least tell me why?" he nearly begged.

"Everyone I love dies," she replied this time, suddenly looking vulnerable and defeated. "I don't want you to die…"

He moved to take her in his arms, but she backed away, shaking her head.

Then, she was gone.

…

They walked to the keep accompanying Hawke who had an appointment with the Viscount the following morning. Fenris was glaring at Merrill at first, but as Velanna was with them as well, he kept his eyes on her instead.

Velanna was quiet the whole trip to the keep. Anders kept a watchful eye on her. She was looking around Hightown interestedly as if making a mental note of where everything was. He didn't like that she was quiet. That wasn't the Velanna he knew. He wondered briefly if Justice had anything to do with her apparent calm.

They met Aveline at the entrance to the keep and she joined the group after Rhianna told her why she was there. When they reached the Viscount, he went on about a Qunari entourage disappearing from his doorstep and Hawke sighed heavily when he asked her to speak to Seneschal Bran.

Rhianna disliked Seneschal Bran.

Aveline perked up when the Seneschal mentioned that he didn't understand how four Qunari could have disappeared as they left the keep when there was a guard stationed at the door. She quickly asked the Seneschal if any guards had failed to report and the Seneschal replied that there had been a few that were missing, adding in a condescending tone that he didn't know where they could find a guard that had been paid money to capture the Qunari delegates.

Anders, Fenris and Aveline quickly responded to that: The Hanged Man was the obvious place to look for the offending guards.

Rhianna thanked the Seneschal coldly and turned around, her group following behind closely as she made her way down the stairs and out of the keep. Anders stole a look at her and smiled inwardly to himself in spite of the seriousness of the situation. He couldn't help himself, really. She looked so beautiful when she was dangerously angry.

…

Excerpt from Anders's Journal:

OF COURSE I hate templars! They locked me up in solitary confinement for a year! And I'm NOT going to write about that RIGHT NOW - I'm not! So yes, I hate templars! Does Rhianna know I hate templars? Sure! Also, she probably hates them more than I do! But Rhianna goes and takes us right into the Chantry to ask the Grand Cleric about the missing Qunari, her chest heaving admirably. I couldn't enjoy that view as much as I wanted to because there were around half a dozen templars looking directly at us. (Maker, I hate templars!)

Even so, it turned out we never got a chance to speak to the Grand Cleric. Sister Petrice – an old acquaintance of ours that wanted us dead – showed up. It turned out that Sister Petrice, now a Mother, (I strongly suspected the Maker was having a laugh when I heard her say she was a Mother) was the one that had arranged it all!

Anders sighed, reading what he had just written. It occurred to him that he hadn't even bothered to explain who this damned Sister/Mother Petrice was. But try as he might he couldn't write it down. Mere words could not describe the evil that emanated from this Chantry mother in waves. He shook his head and squared his shoulders, picking up his quill again.

I can't shake the feeling that Velanna is not really herself. She took a very noticeable interest in the Chantry and looked around, her eyes taking in all the details. That really bothered me, especially considering how she protested the very first time she was in one, years ago back at Vigil's Keep. The Commander – now Queen of Ferelden – had taken us there to complete a mission and Velanna complained non-stop all the way back to the keep. Therefore, I really felt that it was slightly suspicious that she was taking it all in stride now and not saying a word about the Chantry or the templars, who were looking at every move we made. Maybe she had changed after finding her sister? I mean, her sister had turned into a broodmother – that was a tragedy right there. Could this have been enough for her to change like this?

Maybe she has some kind of hidden agenda?

Anders chuckled at the words he had just written. Velanna really didn't need a hidden agenda because she had Justice, didn't she? Anders continued to write, a smile playing on the corner of his lips.

So that malevolent sister…er…MOTHER, gives Hawke this address and invites her to go there to see the unrest the Qunari were causing first hand. She tells us that her former bodyguard, Varnell, is to blame and tells Rhianna she would meet us there.

It didn't matter anyway. The place we had been so generously 'invited' to was full of fanatics and that foul templar who used to be Petrice's bodyguard. The four Qunari were still alive when we arrived, but Maleficarum Templarus, also known as Varnell or 'former bodyguard', made sure they died. He actually smiled while he cut their throats. We could only look at the whole gory scene before us, frozen in fear. Well, maybe Rhianna was not afraid, but I was. If Maleficarum Templarus had just gone and murdered four Qunari in front of a room full of fanatics who were against the Qunari, I knew we would be next on the list so I readied an ice spell that would hopefully freeze his balls off.

No big deal. Only about eighty people wanting to kill us this time! I gritted my teeth and waited for the first wave to attack.

And… nothing really happened. Nothing as in: no fighting, no injuries whatsoever on our side, no one died. The stupid mother pointed a finger at Rhianna, who looked like she wanted to slash her into hundreds of little pieces. Then, Petrice bolted. Disappeard. Vanished. No Petrice anywhere. At first I thought it was because she was scared of Hawke, but then I turned and Velanna caught my eye. Only then did I realize it wasn't because of Hawke after all.

Unfortunately for the stupid brainwashed fanatics, they had never heard of Velanna and her mighty fireballs. If they had, they would have run away screaming in terror. In fact, when her skin cracked open and glowed blue, I half expected all of them to run in terror at that moment. Petrice did. They did not. Maybe because they were half-crazy and very stupid? Did I mention this before? Well, they were. It was all KILL, KILL, KILL for them.

It came as no surprise to me when Velanna/Justice flung her first fireball at the group right next to MT (Maleficarum Templarus) and fried them all to a crisp. Then she turned to unleash fire at a group of twenty more rushing in to kill us. Within minutes, every single one of the people who attacked us (or tried to attack us) and wanted us dead had vanished and only ashes remained, littering the whole floor of the vast room.

Sometimes it's good to have a powerful spirit fighting on your side.

…