Ball Games 3 - Whatever Happens

Okay then, straight into it! Let's see what Raven thinks of Beast Boy's admission.

"Yes," Beast Boy said. Raven's sentence died in her throat and her eyes, wide and incredulous, focused on him like a laser.

"W-what?" she stammered. Beast Boy would have laughed but he could feel the energy in the air around them, see black energy crackle at her fingertips. He held his hands up in what he hoped was a non-threatening way, speaking calmly and quietly, even though he was everything but.

"Raven? Relax, okay? It isn't that big a deal. It doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to," he lied. About the first part anyway. It was a big deal. Somehow, in the course of one party, he had gone from friend to jealous would-be boyfriend. And the worse part was, the more he thought over his one word answer, the more he knew he meant it.

"Not a big deal? You just admitted you have... feelings for me and-" Beast Boy made to interrupt her, to explain that 'feelings' might be too much at this stage. But Robin got there first.

"Beast Boy. Raven. We're heading home now," Robin said, turning and walking to the exit. Raven glanced once more at the changeling and moved to follow.

"Rae..." he tried. She kept walking. He caught up with her, making sure he appeared in her field of vision instead of grabbing her from behind. He gently laid a hand on her shoulder. She stopped dead and looked back at him with those same, incredulous eyes.

"Rae. Don't worry. There's no pressure, I'm not 'declaring my undying love' or getting down on one knee here. Okay? There's no expectation from me and no obligation for you," he said, noting her eyes becoming less uncertain. "It's just... damn, this is no good. Listen, we'll talk at home, okay? We need to go. We came here as friends... it only seems right we leave that way, too." With that, he offered his arm to her, an unsure smile on his lips. Raven glanced between his arm and his face. Deciding to trust her friend, she took the offered ed limb, watching his shaky smile shimmer and become real and strong. They left the building as they had arrived, if a little shaken. Raven remembered little about the drive home, though she remembered Beast Boy having the common sense to not sit next to her. As they got closer to home, she felt her control reasserting itself. Her conviction that she would always be alone, romantically speaking, had been a foundation of her world-view. Even if it was harsh, it shielded her from the phantom of rejection and freed her from expectation and disappointment.

And then Beast Boy had smashed it into rubble. Naturally, her world needed a little time to stabilise. She glanced at him, sitting in the seat in front of her. She recalled that, before the party, he had said she looked 'great' and she had detected no lie. With his newfound interest in her, that seemed to become far more significant. She had always believed that anyone who knew her would turn away. Her friends had disproven that many times but, somehow, she never allowed herself to believe someone might seek more than friendship with her. But he said 'yes'. And it was debatable if anyone knew her better than Beast Boy. She realised they had arrived back home in the borrowed Batmobile, Cyborg having taken Sarah home in the T-Car. The four Titans rode in the elevator together and, thanks to Starfire's non-stop gushing about the party, she and Robin didn't notice Raven and Beast Boy's awkward silence. It was already getting late but Robin suggested they all change and wind down in front of the TV for a while. Robin and Starfire, now wearing comfortable civilian clothes, sat on the couch barely paying attention to the show, just being comfortable with each other. Beast Boy sat on a stool in the kitchen, watching the door for Raven and sipping his mug of hot chocolate.

Finally, when he had almost given up hope, she arrived. She wore a simple t-shirt and grey sweats but, to his own amusement, Beast Boy still found her radiant. Whether she sensed some part of his admiration or just caught him staring, Raven blushed, hesitated and then walked to the kitchen herself, immediately starting to prepare a signature cup of tea. Beast Boy wasn't sure what this signified. True, she did often drink tea when she was stressed. And when she was relaxed. And all of the time, really. He admitted to himself he was looking for significance in insignificant gestures and returned his gaze to her, finding her already looking back. It wasn't a look of anger or exasperation (he knew those looks all too well) and it wasn't her look of subtle enjoyment he saw sometimes. She appeared to be studying him, like a puzzle waiting to be solved. He sipped his drink, his eyes never leaving hers. Soon, after Raven held her own steaming beverage, Robin and Starfire left for bed. They remained silent for a few minutes longer until Beast Boy took the plunge.

"You wanna talk?" he said.

"Not especially," Raven said. "But I suppose we must." Beast Boy chuckled nervously.

"Okay. I'm gonna try and lay it all out. This might be vaguely humiliating, Rae so try not to stop me too much okay?" he asked. Raven nodded.

"Agreed," she said, quietly. Beast Boy took a moment to prepare himself and started to speak.

"Okay. I'll start with a simple truth. Please don't hate me for saying it. You're hot, Rae." Raven's eyes flew open. Beast Boy grimaced: he'd chosen his words poorly. "Sorry! What I mean to say is... we've been friends for a long time. And that entire time, I've been aware of how... pretty you are," Beast Boy said. Raven's incredulity lessened, even if Beast Boy thought the word didn't quite do her justice. "And that was it. You were my friend and you were real pretty. Just so we're clear and despite what Cyborg says, there were no secret longings or unrequited feelings or anything like that," Beast Boy stated, categorically.

"Cyborg?" Raven queried. Beast Boy blew out a frustrated sigh.

"I'll tell you later. Anyway... so tonight. You come in here wearing that dress and, even though I've always known, when I saw you in that, part of my brain shut down and said nothing but 'WOW' for a full minute." Raven's cheeks flushed a little at that. "Even then, you were just my friend Raven who was also a beautiful woman. Then, at the party... even though I set those reporters straight, they looked at us like we were together. Some of the people inside did, too. I know we didn't talk to too many people after we lost Rob and Star but, we were socializing. Together, not separately. And I liked how it felt. Like I was part of something. Don't get mad, Rae, but... I couldn't keep my eyes off you tonight. Like I had bad eyes all my life and I finally got glasses: everything was more or less the same, just clearer. I already said I knew you were pretty but now I could see it. Feel it." Beast Boy sook a break and drained what was left of his hot chocolate. Raven tore her gaze from him and sipped her tea, cheeks glowing. Still feeling a little unsatisfied by the picture food, Beast Boy stood and made for the fridge. "You want anything, Rae?" he asked.

"No, thank you," she replied. He shrugged and leaned into the fridge. Raven took the chance to think. Dating? She had never given it much thought outside of idle daydreaming once or twice. Dating Beast Boy? Even though their old bickering had given way to mutual enjoyment, the idea seemed ludicrous. Her eyes wandered over to the changeling, still rummaging around in the fridge, and examined him in a way Raven had rarely permitted before (*cough* Aqualad! *cough*). He certainly seemed to be in good physical condition, wiry but strong. She watched the muscles move under the skin on his arms and found herself fascinated. She noted his t-shirt riding up a little, exposing a strip of green flesh. Her eyes settled on his backside and were suddenly and forcibly aimed at her tea cup while colour rushed to Raven's cheeks. It was too late. She had checked it out and, to her slight horror, a new voice appeared in her head.

'Ooooh... the Beastly Boy has a fine rump, eh Raven?' the voice said.

'L-love?' Raven thought back, nervously and perhaps a little naively.

'Not quite, sweetie. I represent your more... physical interests. I guess you could call me Lust. And you checking out the Beast Butt woke me up at last!'

'But I don't l-lust after Beast Boy! Or anyone!' Raven thought, a little fire creeping into her "voice".

'Like I said, Raven, I represent physical attraction on any level. You can realise that someone, like Beast Boy, is attractive without going mad with desire.' Raven conceded: the emotion spoke wisely. This left her with a larger realisation - on some level, she had admitted that Beast Boy was attractive. She had no idea where to go from there. Beast Boy had returned with half a sandwich which quickly vanished into his mouth.

"So, where were we?... Okay, so I had my little epiphany. Then came the dance. It felt good, Rae. It felt good in a way I can't really describe. It was like excitement and peace at the same time and, if I'm honest, I had to try real hard to let go of you afterward." Raven blushed again: she had enjoyed the closeness without really understanding why. "Then came whatsisname: Roger? Liam?"

"Ryan," Raven supplied. Beast nodded gratefully.

"Ryan, right. Anyway, he was there and I was so jealous, Rae. I know it seems nuts but I just wanted to sock 'im and drag you away. Amazingly, my common sense showed up and told me it wasn't my business who you spoke to. But I was scared. Scared he'd take you away from me. Crazy, I know but that's how I felt. You pretty much know the rest." Raven nodded. "Thing is," Beast Boy started again. "I've had a little time to think since then."

"You've changed your mind?" Raven asked, feeling unexpectedly hollow. Beast Boy waved his hands in panic.

"What? NO! No, Raven,no. I haven't changed my mind. It's just, this all came from out of nowhere for me too, so a little reflection seemed a good idea. I was thinking that tonight was kinda like a date. Or as close as either of us is gonna get to a prom. Anyway, after tonight's "date", I know now that I want more. Of that. Of you." Raven blushed yet again, unused to being the object of someone's attention like this. "Soooo... no pressure, Rae but do I have a shot?" Beast Boy asked. Raven froze, locked in the proverbial spotlight.

"I-I...I don't know, Beast Boy. This is all so new and confusing... I propose an experiment." Beast Boy raised his eyebrows, encouraging her to continue. "We spend more time in each other's company and I... I will try to keep an open mind," she finished. Beast Boy was grinning. She hadn't rejected him outright! He was being given a chance! He resisted the urge to do a victory dance while Raven smiled a little at the torrent of emotion spilling from the green hero. Beast Boy took his and Raven's dishes and placed them in the sink before they both stood and walked toward the door. They stopped outside Raven's room on the way.

"Goodnight, Rae," Beast Boy said tenderly, starting to move away. Raven's voice stopped him.

"Beast Boy?" she whispered. When he turned to face her, she hesitated briefly before stepping into his space and carefully wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him into a timid embrace. "Whatever happens," Raven continued, whispering into his ear. "Thank you... for what you said about me." Beast Boy cautiously returned the embrace, enjoying the sensation of her breath on his skin more than he dared to admit.

"You're welcome, Rae. Just ask any time and I'll come tell you how pretty you are," Beast Boy replied, jokingly. Raven released him and stood back, smirking at him.

"Don't waste what little charm you have now, Casanova. Save it for when you really need it." With those words, Raven walked into her room and closed the door. Beast Boy walked to his own room, still amazed: he was (kinda) dating Raven. As he prepared for bed, two thoughts dominated his mind. One: he hoped things continued to go this well.

Two: Cyborg was going to be impossible to live with when he found out.

Aaaand there we have it, the next little chapter. Apparently, I've decided to keep this one going for a spell. Why don't I ever tell myself these things? Anyhoo, enjoy and let me know what you think :)

-Jack