Too Far
Alyse backed up against the palace wall, shuddering with absolute terror as the yells boomed over the land.
Thor... Thor was here. And by all the gods, he sounded angry.
That was it. There was nowhere else for her to go. Her knees weakened and her back slid down the wall as she heard him get closer, swearing she could hear his booming footsteps. She was surprised the very ground didn't shake. He was going to kill her!
Then his wild face swung into view from behind the hedge and she wasn't sure it was so much of an exaggeration anymore; his teeth were gritted, eyes like searing coals of rage as they found her.
Alyse's mind ran with prayers as he strode forward, hand gripping Mjolnir. Oh gods, he wouldn't use that on her, would he?
Her eyes were as wide as a frightened rabbit's as he loomed over her, blotting out the sun with each advancing step. She was quaking like a leaf, braced for any second to be her last. He didn't look like there were thoughts behind those eyes - just pure, mindless rage.
It was the most terrifying thing she'd ever seen.
"There you are." he growled.
Alyse whimpered as he reached down and grabbed her wrist, near crushing her in his grip. He didn't seem to care, dragging her out from under the balcony as if she were just a rag doll. She couldn't hold back the cry of pain from her shoulder as he wrenched her forward, thudding her flush with his hard, armored body. His too tight arm secured around her waist.
She could feel Thor's spare hand reach up with Mjolnir to the sky, and the next second they were flying towards it. Alyse wanted to gasp as her feet were lifted from the ground in the space of a heartbeat, but it just hitched in her throat.
The flight was quick. A sharp wrench up, but only to the balcony, Thor's feet landing hard on the floor. Again, she was surprised the whole place didn't tremble. The force was too much for Alyse, crumpling to the ground beside him as her knees failed. Her head span dizzily from the sudden, fast journey.
For a moment, Thor just stared down at her, power coursing through him. He was disgusted. Angry. How dare she!
Her round, frightened brown eyes glanced up at his and he snapped - oh, she was right to be afraid now! The god reached down and carelessly curled a fist in her hair, pulling her up by it.
The cry of pain was good to him; it was a taste of the pain that still stung his heart when he'd found himself in bed alone.
Alyse's legs scrabbled to support beneath her, to save the searing pain in her roots, but it was the same pain that weakened her knees and sank them again. Her mouth was open in a silent scream - there were not even yells that could justify the pain in her roots, as Thor dragged her up by them. Her hands clawed uselessly at his.
He didn't stop until she was eye level with him, Thor looming down menacingly to accommodate her height. That was a good thing, right? He still had some sense.
His blazing eyes pierced into her in a way that made her soul whimper, his teeth gritted. "You were leaving me." he hissed.
Alyse tried to keep her eyes open, but the pain in her hair had them screwing shut in agony. She didn't think she could meet his full, intimidating gaze anyway. "I wasn't leaving!" she screamed, tears stinging her eyes. "I swear, I wasn't! I was just - argh!"
A sharp wrench of her hair tugged her closer and she felt tears spill uncontrollably down her cheeks. Oh gods, it just hurt so much!
He pulled her so close she could feel his harsh, hot breaths on her cheek. Her eyes stayed scrunched; she couldn't bear to see. "I wasn't." she gasped breathlessly. "Please," she begged, trembling uncontrollably. "I wasn't leaving!"
The moment the words left her lips she could taste their uselessness. Thor wasn't listening, she realized. He didn't care about hearing what she had to say, to hear her explanation – all that was on his mind was the pain and betrayal he'd felt when he'd found her gone, his thoughts swamped with the pained conclusion he'd drawn from himself.
Alyse peeled her eyes open, feeling them water with agony. But she had to. She had to reach him somehow. If she didn't… he could very well kill her in his rage.
The minute she saw his searing, blazing angry eyes thought she knew: he hadn't brought her back to talk – he'd brought her back to be punished.
The whimper bled from her lips as she started to wonder if she'd leave the room in a living state.
She should have given Ingrid her will instead.
Her knees gave out beneath her as she hit the floor suddenly. Too suddenly. Just as before, it was Thor's hand in her hair that held her up, hurting her. It was almost sinking into a dull throb now, growing accustomed to the pain.
Her eyes squeezed shut again and her mouth hung open in a silent scream. Her mind raced with thoughts of pain – and prayer.
She wasn't sure who she was praying to. Gods? Her parents? Anybody? Anybody who would listen… she prayed the pain would end. She prayed that if she died it would be quick. She prayed Thor would forgive her. That he would listen…all this could be resolved if he would just listen.
She snapped back to focus as she heard the rustle of silk fabric and she caught a glimpse of Thor's hand rip something from his belt.
She gasped as a pressure clamped over her throat.
Thor's grasping fingers abandoned tearing at her hair for a blissful moment as they fumbled to secure the clasp of the collar at the back of her neck. It was a quick, clumsy job.
"Tho-eugh!"
Alyse's hands flew to her throat as the collar clasp snapped into place. That wasn't the problem though. The collar was looser than Thor had put it on her before, much looser – but he'd never curled his fingers around it, pulling it back so the material clutched at her windpipe. Alyse could feel the material digging into her skin, marking groves over her throat.
Her eyes watered to the heavens as her breaths caught. All that held her up was the collar, and Thor's hand fisted in the material of her dress. It wasn't there for long.
She barely noticed the dress being torn from her, more focused on the lack of air passing through her lips. She was limp in his arms as he wound his spare one around her waist.
She was completely helpless, overwhelmed with pain and panic to do anything but rasp for breath, her fingers clawing at the obstructing material over her neck. He was choking her. Thor was choking her. Small flecks of pain registered in her mind as she felt her nails chip into the skin at her neck, breaking skin in her desperation to tear the collar off of her.
It didn't budge.
Thor leaned in close over her, her body bowing from weakness as the life was slowly choked from her.
His fingers curled tighter around the choker, drawing a strangled gasp from Alyse. "Do you know what this means?" he hissed in a deadly quiet tone, his breath brushing over Alyse's cheek.
She couldn't even look at him, eyes just staring up and ahead as she fought for air. If he kept this up, he would kill her... she could feel her legs twitching itching to kick out at something but they just didn't have the strength to. She wanted to fight, the instinct to survive overwhelming her, but there was nothing she could do against the mighty God of Thunder.
Her fingers started to shake against her throat as her head started to spin, her air supply nearly completely cut off. She wasn't staring ahead anymore – her vision just swam in circles.
And she glimpsed Thor. Glimpsed his angry eyes, only concerned with his fury.
They stayed with her as he carried on talking, hissing furiously in her ear as his fingers pulled the collar tighter over her throat: "It means you are mine." He breathed venomously. His fingers twitched around the collar and Alyse's body jerked violently, a breathless yelp ripping up her throat.
She could feel the material of the collar cut into her skin. He didn't realize, she knew. He was so angry he was forgetting his strength. And it might just cost Alyse her life, she realized with icy dread.
"It means you do what I say you do." He went on. "You eat when I tell you to. You dress when I tell you to. You leave when I tell you to. Not before."
Thor pulled back so his face was mere millimeters from hers and Alyse was forced to look into his swirling blue orbs, just burning with anger and hate. His grip loosened on the collar slightly and she gasped hungrily for breath. Thor didn't seem to notice.
After that, she barely heard him. Her body sung with relief as she sucked in precious oxygen and she almost felt like smiling with thanks were she not so terrified still of the man subjecting her to this torture. His grip was still hard and his eyes merciless. He really wasn't the man she knew, she thought as her eyes started to swim back into focus. He was a beast. Ruled by his instincts.
But she couldn't hate him.
She didn't know why – and as his hateful orbs cracked slightly and the hurt bled through, she didn't care.
Suddenly, even though he was half choking her, his fist curling slightly around the collar, drawing it tight around her throat again, she just wanted to comfort him. She couldn't take her eyes off his face.
That tiny crack split wider, more emotion creeping onto his face. "Why?" he gasped, his voice cracking. "Why?! Why would you leave me?"
His eyes started to glisten, a heartbreaking gleam that had Alyse's orbs watering too just looking at them. She'd hurt him. She hadn't wanted to but… she had. And it tore her apart, knowing that. What a stupid, stupid mistake…
Her arm felt weak and she could feel her fingers trembling, but it didn't stop her as she lifted them up. She wanted to touch him. To connect with him somehow. Maybe then he'd listen. Maybe then he'd understand.
His orbs flickered to her moving fingers as they moved shakily to his cheek.
Then the anger flooded forth.
Alyse cried out as Thor threw her down. He let her collar go and air flooded her windpipe, but was knocked out of her lungs as her body slammed hard on the very solid floor.
For a moment, that was all she could focus on. Her trembling fingers moved to her throat and pulled at the collar, fighting numb to get it away from her for more air to pass into her body. Her fingertips brushed over the cuts and bruises that adorned her neck. She gasped and gasped, feeling every breath hurt her bruised ribs, tear at her throat, hurt her, just by existing…
She glimpsed up from her place on the floor, gasping silently – and caught Thor. He stood by the bed, his back to her, his head in his hands.
It made Alyse's heart stop.
A part of her was screaming. He was hurting her. Throwing her around, choking her, harming her in ways she'd never imagined of him… she should hate him. To want to leave. To scream and yell and curse him for all the pain he was causing her. That was what a part of her wanted to do. A small, dimming part.
But she didn't hate him. She couldn't. It was what the anger was covering up that captivated her: the hurt. And to hurt, he had to care.
"Do you know what I felt when I found you gone?" he breathed, sounding like a broken man. Alyse didn't dare move, didn't dare think; she just started, open mouthed, reining in her shuddering, bruising breaths.
I'm sorry, she gasped in her head. Over and over again. In her heart she knew she'd had no choice, that she'd had to slip out and send the note, but even though she'd had every intention of coming back, that was what had caused this. Thor was inconsolable because of what she'd done. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…
She couldn't speak aloud. She didn't dare. Thor was still, as if stone, and were it not for her silent, gasping breaths, Alyse was the same.
"I kept you well." His voice was soft.. but questioning. As if he was trying to understand it himself now, so confused… Alyse could just imagine the way his brow knitted together as he tried to make sense of all the things he was feeling, things she was pretty sure he hadn't felt before. Then his hands fell down and he turned, slowly, defeatedly, and faced her himself. The agony in his gleaming orbs near broke her heart. "I thought we were happy. Last night…"
Had been perfect, Alyse finished in her head instantly as Thor trailed off, his eyes drifting to the side. Her thumping heart affirmed it. Last night had been beyond her wildest dreams.
She could see from the pain in Thor's eyes that she hadn't been the only one to feel it too. She didn't know how long they'd been together, but last night had lifted their relationship, whatever they had, to somewhere else. Last night had been tender. Dare she even say loving?
He was hurting her so badly now… and she still didn't hate him. She couldn't. What did that say about her feelings?, she wondered. Did she…did she love Thor?
Her eyes lifted to Thor, scouring his perfect face. Her heart sped up in her chest. Pain and misery danced in his eyes, but it was alight with a budding anger, a fury that was ready to pounce in a second. His eyes were mournful but his clenching teeth, his hand flexing into fists then relaxing again… he was rocking on the edge, dancing between anguish and anger.
And it didn't matter which he'd surrender to, she realized. Alyse would still not want to leave him. And not just for the sex. There was something else. Something she couldn't name. She just didn't want to leave him. She wanted to make him happy however she could.
She knew that Thor was wrestling with that night too. Battling with the care and closeness they'd felt then, and the absolute betrayal he was going through now.
He just couldn't make sense of this pain. He didn't want to admit it hurt, but it did. A woman he'd stolen to have sex with… and here he was feeling ready to tear down worlds over her trying to leave him.
It didn't make sense. None of it. Confusion ruled his heart, one half longing to just scoop her up in his arms and never let her go, and the other half wanting to flog her senseless for her disobedience, for making him feel like this. It wasn't the deed that hurt him the most - it was how it made him feel that bothered him. How she knew it would make him feel.
She'd twisted his heart. Was that why she'd been so submissive to him the last few weeks? Just biding her time until he let his guard down and she could escape? She'd used him…
Fury filled him again as it ran through his mind and his fists curled just thinking about it. His eyes roamed back to her round, innocent ones. Innocent… how deceptive she really was. She could cause him so much harm. So much pain, just from one little woman…
"Is that all you think I'm worth?!" he finally growled, his eyes narrowing at her form sprawled on the floor. "A slip in the night? Not so much as even speaking to me!"
He knew he wasn't thinking clearly but with all this adrenalin still in his system he just didn't care. Then his rage snapped. His hands reached out to the bedside table and threw it across the room, shattering and splintering it mercilessly. He had so much anger… he just wanted to destroy, to hurt. He'd never been made to feel like this before, not by anyone. And he didn't like it.
He advanced a menacing step towards Alyse, and a part of him rumbled with satisfaction as she visibly quaked before him. It made him feel powerful. He just couldn't help it; he wanted to make something feel as bad as he did.
Preferably her.
It was her fault, he reasoned in his head. She did this. Why shouldn't she pay? He had every right to make her - as her prince, if not as a scorned man!
He didn't want her to leave. Never again did he want her to leave this room. He may hate her right now, want her to feel the same pain he did but by the gods, he didn't want to share her. She was still his.
His eyes darkened as they lingered on her, running over Alyse's curves, waiting for his reaction like a frightened rabbit. In his right mind, he knew he would be courteous. Like he had been in the bath. But where had that gotten him? She'd left him after that. If force was the only way to ensure she'd stay with him then so be it.
He just wanted to hurt her. As appalling as it sounded, his hands itched to hold her again, to be rough with her. A blowjob wouldn't be enough though. Before it had been 'punishments' that she still enjoyed, as well as he.
Not this time. This time he wanted her to truly feel scared. To understand his fury, what happened when she so carelessly toyed with the God of Thunder's heart.
Thor's hand twitched, and suddenly he knew exactly what he wanted to do with her. His chest rose and fell as his breaths caught with anticipation, his trousers tightening. He could read the fear in Alyse's eyes as he met them squarely, piercingly…
"Well if you so crave dominance that will be exactly what you'll get." Thor finally snarled, surrendering completely; he let himself fall into the mindlessness of rage. "If it's pain that you want…"
Alyse's eyes widened.
Oh no-
Her heart skipped a beat as Thor strode quickly forward and grabbed her, pulling her up by the arm and literally threw her down on the bed. Alyse gasped as she bounced – but yelped as a hand grabbed her hair and pushed her head down.
She felt the bed bow as Thor knelt one knee on the mattress, half standing still beside her. He held her head down so she couldn't move, only just allowing her to the side so she could breath. She couldn't see his face though, and he wasn't concerned about seeing hers.
All he could think about was revenge, and how he was going to exact it. He had no pity now – just as she'd had none when she'd wooed his heart and then left him.
His hand fisted in her hair as her held her down, eyes roaming down her body as her knees scrambled to support herself on the mattress. Her hands gripped at Thor's but there was no way she could loosen his grip, her fingers prying uselessly at his.
For a moment, he just stood there, breathing heavily. Bracing himself. He'd never done this before. His eyes ran over her body, feeling rage for every inch of curve that seduced him, played him…
Then his eyes fell on her backside and his breath stilled.
He brought his hand up and down in one swift, hard movement.
He gave no warning. Not even to himself. Alyse's body jerked forward under the sharp blow, a high pitched yelp leaving her. It was more surprised than anything.
Thor's teeth gritted.
Power surged through his body, singing with adrenalin. Alyse's cry in his ears, feeling her skin heat and burn under his palm, watching her backside pinken as he pulled his hand away… that was what he wanted. And holding her down, there was nothing she could do about it.
His eyes narrowed as he brought his hand up again, eyes on his target. He could hear Alyse's panic in her quickening breaths, in her mumbled, pleading 'no's…
He wouldn't listen.
His palm came down with a sharp slap.
Alyse shouted shamelessly under the blow and squirmed, her body twisting, fighting to get away. Her cry was broken, more like a sob. She trembled beneath him as the pain set into her system, sinking into her skin. She'd never been hit in her whole life. And now Thor, with his great strength, was letting loose on her.
She was pleading before she knew it. "No!" she whimpered, tears flooding down her cheeks already. Her backside stung, the air smarting painfully. "No, please-"
Thor's hand crashed down on her again.
Only this time he didn't stop.
He gritted his teeth with rage as he surrendered, his hand rising and falling in swift aggressive bursts down on Alyse's body. He could feel it stinging his palm with the force he used, and he knew that if he could feel it, it must be agony for Alyse!
He didn't care and hit on, reveling in her cries. She was feeling his pain at last. He held her head down firmer and spread his blows over her backside, until her skin was a blistered, angry red.
And ever then he didn't stop.
Alyse slumped down numbly.
Her body trembled violently with the pain going through her and Thor could see the damp marks on the sheets from her tears, flowing from her face like a river. She'd given up struggling. There was no hope. He wasn't going to stop. She resigned herself over to that pained fact and did all she could do – pray it would be over soon.
She didn't shout. Whimpers and sobs flowed from her lips continually, begging, pleading. It felt like he was searing through her skin, her backside felt so hot and in pain. She wondered if he was drawing blood from her.
She couldn't believe this was happening. Thor… sweet, sensitive Thor, who'd joked with her, laughed with her, held her close while she trembled and had made gentle, sweet love to her… that same Thor was now beating her with brutal malice.
Trembling with fear, she screwed her eyes shut. He was a monster. She dared think that she still cared for him, her heart bleeding with anguish. He could do this to her.. and she couldn't hate him for it.
Why?, a part of her screamed. He would shatter her pelvis at this rate, let alone bruise and cut! How could she love someone like who did that?
She couldn't blame him though. If she hadn't left, they would have woken up, had morning sex, Thor would have fetched her some food and he would have left, angelic smile on his face until it poked back round the door in the evening. It was her fault that hadn't happened. She'd known when she'd gone that it would destroy him if he woke up with her gone.
Destroy him... but that he would lash out with anger. She'd known that. She'd taken that risk..
But gods, she didn't think he'd completely lose his mind!
She was certain the creature beating her to within an inch of her life wasn't Asgardian; he was just a beast. Mindless rage. He wasn't seeing the woman he'd been fucking the last few weeks, or the creature he'd comforted when she'd been frightened, the one he'd tenderly wrapped in a towel and whose hand he'd held during the night ...all he saw was something that hurt him, and he wanted to hurt it back.
Alyse's mouth hung open in a near constant stream of ignored pleas and whimpers and cries. It all meant nothing to Thor. His relentless palm rained down on her skin and she felt the blows rattle her bones. This was too much.
She couldn't even hear her own begs, the slap of skin on skin too loud and constant to break. Her throat felt like it had been torn to shreds from how she'd screamed before. Everything just hurt, all a blur of pain. "Please," she sobbed, body trembling violently before Thor's palm jolted it forward in another merciless blow. "Please, please, please!"
She wasn't sure she could take this. Maybe it would be better if Thor really did just kill her, get it over with. The pain would stop at least. She'd do anything.
"I'm sorry!" she yelled, screwing her eyes shut. Tears still leaked through her eyelids. "I'm sorry! Please! I didn't mean it! Please! I'm sorry!"
Her will broke and she just rambled. Begged. Pleaded. Anything to get this to stop. Her skin was on fire - she couldn't take it! Not another minute, not another blow. It hurt too much. It was all just too much.
Another strike landed down on her body and she screamed, tearing through her throat. Then she struggled. She couldn't take it. She couldn't bear anymore. Pure determination dug her fingernails into his hand, fisted in her hair, forcing her head down. She knew she had no hope of shrugging him off, of pulling his hand from her.
Adrenalin ran to her legs though and she kicked out. Her body squirmed and rolled as far as she could under Thor's grip and her legs lashed out, desperate to stop this. If she couldn't kick him away at least her backside could be out of his reach for a moment longer.
Thor growled deep from his chest. Alyse succeeded in delaying another blow for a second as Thor paused, just drinking in her defiance.
She couldn't see him but she knew what he would look like: eyes blazing like blue fire, teeth gritted in anger, just gazing over how she dared fight against him. He was so strong...her knees felt weak, the vibrations of his blows carrying down the rest of her legs from her behind.
Would she be able to run if she got away? Was she physically capable of it? She had to escape. Before she hadn't want to leave but now all she could think about was how to get away from him. She couldn't bear to have him even touch her.
She didn't know this man. This wasn't Thor. Yes, she liked control but this was pure abuse. It was insane. She couldn't cope and she didn't think anyone could either. Survival instincts flooded through her system, and all that her mind could process was 'get away, get away, get away..'.
She didn't stop kicking, literally for her life. She screamed in pain though as Thor grabbed her brutalised backside, pulling her back to him.
In the back of his mind, something was screaming at him, telling him it was wrong. But he couldn't stop. He was just so angry. So hurt. His heart clenched painfully in his chest as another sobbing beg bled from Alyse's lips, morphing into a broken cry instead as his hand pommelled down onto her body.
His teeth were gritted in resolve as he beat his anger out on Alyse, not daring to stop. But his eyes started to blur more and more, as Alyse's screams, her begs and sobbing, reached him more and more.
He started to feel her hands pushing at his body and thighs, her whole body trembling and writhing to get free. Her backside looked... positively mutilated, Thor noticed as he glimpsed between blows. His hand stilled in the air in shock.
Her skin was red. Blistering red, and...and black. He'd bruised her. She was bruising. He knew he was strong and that he hadn't held much back. That he'd wanted to hurt her, for her to scream. But this...
His heart stopped entirely though when something more ran over one of the darkening bruises - blood. The breath stilled in his lungs.
The last of the anger not beat out into Alyse's backside drained away in ice cold horror as he blinked his watery eyes clear, blinking away the tears. Tears; he was crying? Why? Because she'd hurt him by leaving? Yes. That was why he wanted to hurt her back.
But this much?
His eyes scoured over her brutalised body, feeling her wrack with sobs in his arm around her waist. She was red, and bruised and bloodied, all by his palm.
Did his pain really stretch that far? To inflict this...no, something shuddered inside him, feeling his stinging palm start to shake. His arm numbly released her waist and Alyse flopped down on the bed, her body shuddering with her absolute sobs.
Oh gods, he breathed in his head as he drank her in. Even more than just her behind. Her tangled hair. The bruises peeking out from the sides of her neck. From earlier, he remembered, with the collar. He'd done that. All he could remember from then was his rage though, like.. like she hadn't mattered.
Seeing her now though...
Thor felt himself trembling as he staggered away from the bed, unable to take his eyes off Alyse as she started to move. Slowly. In pain. Crawling stiffly to get away from him, every movement drawing a sobbed yelp from her as pain wracked her body.
He only stopped backing away when his back hit the wall and still he wished he could go farther. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Off the horror he'd done.
There was no slight she could commit to justify this. She was just a woman, at his mercy. She had no hope to defend against him. Sure, he'd been inconsolable when he'd found her gone, felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest... but looking at her now, even that couldn't justify what he'd done. She was bleeding. She was bruised.
He was too scared to get close enough to see the full extent of her injuries. He almost didn't want to know.
His hands hovered in front of him and he glanced down at them, unable to believe the brutality they'd unleashed on a poor defenceless woman. He'd beaten her within an inch of her life, choked her, hurt her...it was wrong. So, so wrong.
Pain, he'd said before, as if he could defend this brutality by her need to be controlled. Pain was one thing. This was...
What had he been thinking?
That was just it, his heart thumped. He hadn't thought. He'd only felt, consumed by his hurt and rage. And now he'd seriously hurt the woman he'd so tended to last night.
She may not have left him this time, but... but now Thor would totally understand if she did. If she wanted to go now, he wouldn't stop her. How could he? He might have little choice. What if he'd seriously hurt her? Broken bones, or.. or worse? He couldn't treat that. He'd have no choice but to reveal her. And he was sure he'd never see her again.
But that was his fault now. He'd let things go so far out of control, go too far. She'd trusted him. There was a fine line between controlling and abusive, one Thor had always been so very careful not to cross.
And now, in his fit of rage he'd torn that line apart and thrown it out the window like it meant nothing.
She'd had to trust him to have stayed this long. Tethered or not, she was resourceful. Thor had no doubt that if she'd have wanted escape, she'd have done it a long time ago. But she hadn't. She'd stayed and trusted him to give her dominance but that he wouldn't truly hurt her, do nothing she really didn't want to do.
He didn't want to really hurt her. Not like this. Sure, he wanted to tease her. To pull her hair, or ride her hard, or hold her down - knowing such things roused her passions.
But this...
His eyes travelled up to the bed again and saw Alyse curled up, rocking back and forth as she lay on the sheets, sobbing.
Blood started to run onto the bed.
How could he have done this? Her arm hung off the bed, her body - mercifully - still bobbing with her quiet sobs. Thor moaned quietly as his heart clenched, hating himself as he watched the result of his actions.
The control gave him a rush. Dominating Alyse made him feel powerful, forcing her to take him... but this didn't make him feel good. This made him feel monsterous. Before what he'd done may have stung or frustrated, but ultimately satisfied them both. Looking at Alyse now, there was nothing but pain. Nothing but defeat. What sort of a man did that to a woman; reduced her to a bloodied, quivering wreck?
Something speared through his heart as a gasping whimper left Alyse from the bed, and he couldn't take it anymore. He forced the guilt aside and strode forward.
He hated himself, but ... he couldn't just leave her. He crossed the room swiftly, heart pounding in his chest. The closer he got, the worse it was: he could make out the grazes where the blood weeped, every forming bruise. It made him feel sick, knowing he'd done that.
His hands were shaking as he knelt on the bed, leaning over Alyse. There was no way he could miss the way Alyse flinched as his weight set on the bed.
It took a few moments to brace himself to reach for her, eyes just scouring over her injuries. He was scared that if he so much as touched her again she would bruise.
But he couldn't leave her to suffer alone. He could hear her whimpering, crying softly as she lay draped over the bed, crawling weakly as he loomed over her and it broke his heart knowing that he'd caused it. Gently, his hand touched the small of her back.
Alyse's twisted round, hands pushing at his arm with as much futile strength as she could muster. "No," her lips murmured pleadingly, fingers trembling. Was she still afraid he would hurt her? "Please.. no..."
Her eyes... Thor stilled as his eyes met hers. Her soft brown eyes were round and frightened, glistening with tears that leaked unending over her cheeks. She was like a deer caught in a hunt, her eyes looked so terrified, so mindlessly afraid. Pain stabbed through her orbs with every movement she made, but it was drowned out with pleading and fear, begging him to stay away.
Thor held back a groan, feeling his heart hurt. He'd never wanted this. She was afraid of him. He wanted her to stay but not because of fear.
He gulped down the hard lump in his throat. Alyse's murmurs shattered into desperate, pleading sobs as Thor reached his arm around her, ignoring her pushing fingers. He didn't dare look at the way her face played out the anguish and fear betrayed in her voice.
He'd never heard a woman weep like this. She sounded so broken, so ...so defeated. It was heartbreaking. Thor couldn't believe he'd done that.
He forced himself to ignore her as he gently pulled her up, her hands trembling to push him away as he held her against his chest. His arms wrapped around her body, careful to stay away from her bloodied backside. He couldn't help it; he just had to hold her.
She whimpered against him, crying brokenly into his chest as her hands tried to push herself away, her body squirming to be free. "No, please." continued to tumble from her lips, all of her just quaking in his arms.
Thor couldn't bear it. He didn't dare lay her down, knowing that would only make the pain from her behind worse. He couldn't help her with the pain, only comfort her through it. He hated himself. How could he have done this. He'd hurt plenty of people before in lashings of his soldiers and prisoners, but never had he seen someone's spirit so destroyed like Alyse's. Never had he felt this pain, this guilt at doing it either. He hated himself for it.
He wanted nothing more than to wind the last - what? - half an hour away, to have Alyse uninjured and unafraid, but he couldn't take this away. He couldn't.
He knew he was probably the last person she wanted near him right now, her clawing fingers telling him that but he needed to. He needed her. He couldn't take it back, but by gods, he couldn't leave her to just simply bear it alone. The least he could do was try to comfort her.
And it helped ease his own aching heart. He just wanted to hold her, as if it would hold the pieces of his heart together.
He knew he had no right to feel this way but... he moved back as smoothly as he could but it wasn't enough, and his heart cracked as Alyse whimpered with pain, her hands gripping him instead of pushing in her agony. He hated himself all over again but he carried on moving back, promising himself that it would be better for both of them in just a moment. He half sat, half lay back against the headboard of the bed, Alyse draped over him. His arms hugged around her waist and chest, holding her tightly as she started to cling to him in her pain.
She trembled in his arms and Thor cupped the back of her head, cradling her to him like a child. He was shocked to find his own eyes blurry with tears, hearing Alyse sob brokenly into his breast plate.
She didn't have the will to fight him anymore, just surrendering, engulfed by the pain that seared through her. The air stung at her behind, breaths hurting their throat. In the back of her mind she was still terrified of Thor but right now she just needed something to hold, some warm comfort. Anything to distract her from the pain.
Thor's chest swallowed her cries as she cried, her whimpers getting softer and softer. The pain started to settle into a dull, burning ache, setting into her bones.
She cried until her head felt light. Until what little of the world she was aware of other than the wet of her tears on her cheeks, the hardness of Thor's armour against her cheek and the fire that licked at her skin, span in a confusing blend. Exhaustion washed over her and she slipped willngly into the safety of sleep, passing out in the god's arms away from the pain.
Thor held her until she was relaxed in his arms, sleeping, getting some peace at last. There was none for him: his eyes stared ahead, wide and round and...purely horrified.
What had he done?