A/N: This should have been up last night. I hope you can still enjoy it. Reviews will be appreciated as I'm still puttering along on this new venture.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

"And found myself alone, alone, - alone above a raging sea,

that stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me"

Just Like Heaven – The Cure

Amy's hand rushed to cover her mouth stunned by her words and Sheldon's looming presence. She was seldom impulsive so apparently her subconscious had willed itself forward. Left without an alternative she spoke.

"Hear me out, Sheldon" Amy stood and begged "Please don't be angry."

"When we first met we were so much alike that there wasn't anything we wouldn't talk about. Our communication was unfiltered, unaltered and there weren't any uncomfortable topics, we shared all our thoughts. Not only were we intellectually compatible but we partook of much of the same humor and point of view. The day you told your mother I was more similar to you than anyone you had ever met, was one of the happiest of my life. You went against her wishes so we could continue to be friends. I felt a bond to you the moment we met but on that day you confirmed that you felt the same way and I discerned that I'd found something I'd been missing my whole life that I didn't even knew I wanted."

Swallowing she continued, "Sheldon you became my best friend."

Sheldon began to unclench his nerves and muscles and in hearing Amy's voice quiver he softened his glare.

"Joining your social group made me more aware of my social improprieties. Penny, Bernadette and even Leonard have helped me considerably in that arena. And while three years ago I would have said I didn't care about those things, I do now. They've become friends, confidants and family."

"What does that have to do with us?" Sheldon asked now immersed in her words.

"Somehow that first us, that first Shamy, as Penny liked to say, went missing. We can still talk about anything, everyone and everything, except us. The day when you spanked me you said that you thought our relationship was based on trust and mutual admiration."

"Yes, I did because you had lied to me." Sheldon affirmed

"Did you ever question why we couldn't be honest with each other? You weren't honest with me about not wanting to live together. You haven't been honest with me when you've wanted to skip out of date nights. In fact we haven't been completely honest about 'us' with each other for a while. Instead we avoid things or turn to our friends to help work out -'us', instead of turning to each other. Where is the trust in that?"

Sheldon was stuck between awe and worry so he sat down and began to wring his hands. Amy's voice still trembled but he noticed it was now laced with what he first labeled as anger but which he eventually tagged as pain.

"To me Sheldon, intimacy is more than physical. Yes, we've become extremely intimate but there seems to have been a cost. I think we've evolved for the better and whether or not our physical intimacy grows I leave that entirely up to you. What I struggle to accept is that I can't talk about any of my feelings relating to us with you because 1 - you'll be condescending, 2- dismissive of quote 'hippie ways', 3 – you'll shut down or 4 – you'll run away."

"Amy, I just don't know how - how" he mumbled

Amy waited for him to finish but he only looked up at her with a hurt puppy face. Amy turned away from him as she struggled with her composure. She walked to the end of the couch before turning around to see Sheldon standing. In a softer tone she offered,

"I never wanted to be part of what I thought was an unnecessary cultural construct yet here I am selfishly hoping that we could stumble down this path together. Together with…" her façade crumbled and wiping away a tear she added "my best friend."

The tears flowed but she forced herself to look at him once more to say,

"Sheldon, sometimes, - even though you're sitting right next to me, -I miss you."

Sheldon pulled Amy into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. Her arms flew around his waist and they pulled each other tighter and tighter as if trying to meld into one. Neither would let go but Sheldon began to caress her hair as he bent down to put his head on top of hers. He closed his eyes and Amy closed hers. There were no words between them and they stood in a constricted embrace for minutes.

Slowly their embrace softened so Amy loosened her arms preparing to separate but Sheldon contentedly clung to her. She could hear his heartbeat as it went from turbulent pounding to a rhythmic symphony of the electrical pulses between atria and ventricles. She could still feel his head resting on hers so she remained there holding him and nestling in his chest.

Solving an equation or completing a paper often elicited what Sheldon defined as a quiet mind. He knew that this meant a rise in his serotonin level causing calming and relaxation. It was odd to feel that now, as he held Amy, but she had solved the puzzle regarding his sense of loss and loneliness. He hadn't been missing his girlfriend; he had been missing his friend. He had spent several months wrestling with fear regarding his growing fondness for Amy. Fear of losing her, fear of moving forward, fear of derailing his career and fear of falling in love. The worst thing though was that he thought he was in combat alone.

"Amy" he said quietly, looking down at her "you're right. We lost that part of us. When did it happen? How did you know?"

"I don't know. I just don't remember ever having to feel guarded around you but for a while now it's been – different."

They released their hug and Sheldon took her hand to lead her to sit down on the couch.

Sheldon sat, bent over and put his head in both his hands literary trying to think of a way to pause time. "Amy, please understand this is a lot to process today. I don't want to run away or shut down." He said without looking up.

Amy sat quietly watching him.

He finally sat up looked at her, scrunched his pursed lips to one side then said,

"Sorry."

Then taking her hand once again he repeated,

"Sorry, I made you feel you couldn't talk to me."

"I forgive you." She said caressing his hand with her thumb.

"I'm not clear on how to understand or fix any of this and I meant what I said before - just don't give up on me. I want to make this … us work." He threw himself back on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

Amy wanted to give him space but he continued to hold her hand. They sat in comfortable silence. Her tears were dry now and she felt a semblance of emotional control. She noticed that the same had happened to Sheldon when he looked at her and spoke.

"Amy, I am a man of science. Feelings create chaos. We have to do something about the chaos."

Amy the pragmatic responded,

"I think what you are really afraid of is the emotional response to feelings and not the feelings themselves after all, as much as you'd like it to be true, we are not droids. We only damage ourselves if we suppress our natural inclinations and since we can't eliminate them at some point we have to face them head on. You would probably feel more comfortable knowing that we are trying to manage the emotions?"

"I don't know" he nodded feeling completing flummoxed with the topic.

"Proposal. We create a moment of sharing called Full Disclosure. Each day we must each make one statement or question to each other under the umbrella of Full Disclosure. It will mean that we cannot become judgmental or defensive we simply have to - quote – take it."

"When you said 'statement or question', what did you mean? Question about what? And what if the other person doesn't want to answer?" Sheldon asked.

"It would be wise to tweak the parameters as we go since neither of us will be treading in familiar territory. The statements and questions need to be about us, our relationship whether positive or negative." Amy offered.

"We are masters of the unsaid words but slaves of those we let slip out. - Winston Churchill"

"We're all fools, all the time. It's just we're a different kind each day. " Amy returned

"Amy, you're quoting Ray Bradbury a science fiction writer?" Sheldon questioned proudly.

"I thought you would consider the The Illustrated Man required reading for any homo novus. I was particularly drawn to his short story of Marionettes, Inc. though the entire collection was quite interesting. Now let's focus on my proposal."

"I'm willing to give your idea a trial run. I propose thirty days"

"I counter that the trial run until Leonard's return. However it would be prudent for us to make an objective assessment of progress every thirty days."

"I'm still wondering what we do if the other person does not want to answer the question asked on a given day?"

A pregnant pause ensued as they looked at each others faces for the answer to appear.

"How about if we are each given a pass and the other person has to choose a new question?" offered Sheldon

"Well the objective is for us to avoid cloaking our distress from each other. So how about one pass per month?" countered Amy

"One pass per week."

"As long as the said rejected question can be asked at another time - then I accept."

"Fair enough. I'll type it up to add to our agreement."

"I also propose that we move our activities scheduled for tomorrow to next weekend."

"Counter proposal: We continue as planned."

"Don't you want some time or space for yourself after what I brought upon you tonight?"

"No."

Any other time before tonight that would have been exactly his request, to get time to isolate himself and regain complete control. Tonight he sensed it wasn't wise to regress.

"I know the kind of man I want to be." He smiled and stood helping Amy up from the couch. She took a deep breath trying to inhale the word 'man' but she returned his smile.

Looking at his watch he registered that he was late to start his laundry.

"Amy, it's already 8:30"

Sensing his anxiety she said, "I'll leave you to your laundry and see you tomorrow."

They dispersed, her to the front door and him towards his room.

He stopped to call out to her "Amy, please text me when you are safe at home."

"I will." She answered as she walked out the door.

A/N I highly recommend Ray Bradbury if you are inclined to try reading some science fiction.

What do you think? Have I been able to stay canon or have I gone too OOC?

Are you following the soundtrack? This chapter's song is one of my favorites.

Next up: Amy teaches Sheldon how to drive ... or not.