Author's note: Thank you to all of my followers old and new. It's so exciting to know I have story followers! This is a long chapter that played in my head like an episode, expressing it in words was tough but I tried. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except maybe a few characters I throw in myself.
"It's a cruel, cruel summer, leaving me here on my own,
it's a cruel, cruel summer, now you've gone."
Cruel Summer – Bananarama
"So Penny, where are you taking us? I would have been happy to drive?' asked Bernadette while she looked warily at the check engine light.
"I'll explain when we get there. I just really needed to do this and I hope you'll understand." Penny responded
"oooh sounds mysterious." Amy said from the backseat as she glanced at Bernadette with a look of shared conspiracy.
"Amy, you're the one who needs to tell us why Sheldon couldn't keep his eyes or hands off of you during dinner."
"Penny, I was going to ask the same thing. Don't think we didn't notice how he kept rubbing your leg tonight." Bernadette affirmed before adding with a sing-song chant "someone's turning red."
Amy's blush caused a thin coat of perspiration across her face. "Sheldon and I haven't seen each other since Sunday. We have barely had a chance to text and skype. He was just… what do you mean he couldn't take his eyes off me? I was sitting right next to him."
"Ames, he usually just tracks you. He checks out your butt, sees where you're going then turns to talk. If you're gone for more than five minutes he checks your position then turns to talk or argue depending on his mood. Tonight he wasn't talking to anyone as long as you weren't near him his eyes were locked on you."
"I like that. He's a tracker and Amy you are his prey" purred Bernadette.
"I still find that hard to believe but he has been very sweet lately. We had a heart to heart talk a few days ago and we both decided to communicate better with each other. "
"Ames, you two communicate more than any couple I've ever known. You must text each other at least one hundred messages a day."
"Howie and I text on average about thirty and I thought that was a big number."
"It's true on most days we text all day but on matters about us as a couple we just don't say much. You know how he is always saying 'I'm a physicist, not a hippie' he just shuts down and avoids the topics."
"So did you have to put your foot down or did he agree easily? I'll guess put your foot down. Right? "
"I didn't put my foot down we just talked. And we both agreed to do better. He is not solely to blame. You girls know I keep a lot of hurt to myself instead of telling him."
"Because Ames, you don't put your foot down or kick him in the butt like he needs. I get that he might freak out because he would rather be homeostatic – is - sis, whatever, it's not fair to you."
"So the hand on your leg is that new?" prodded Bernadette
"No, since Howard's lift off, Sheldon has initiated hand holding and a double tap on my knee. He usually taps when he agrees with something or it's time to go."
"Cut the bull! We're not talking about tapping. We're talking about him rubbing your leg! On top of that you never gave me the details of what you two were doing when I caught you playing with whip cream on Saturday?"
Bernadette gasped at Penny's revelation and turned in her seat to face a squirming Amy, her wide eyes demanding an answer.
"I smeared some whip cream on his nose and he wanted to get even. That's all. You know how competitive he is so I ran and knocked some things over. Then you came in and surprised us."
"I surprised you alright but the looks on both your faces wasn't about competition."
"Is the Shamy getting steamy?" teased Bernadette
"No." Amy stuttered willing herself to look innocent. "Look ever since Sheldon cared for me when I was sick he has been more altruistic with touching. He admitted to me that he wants to try to move forward and he has little by little. And he was barely touching my kneecap. You make it sound like he was rubbing up my thigh."
Bernadette smirked and raised one eyebrow high above her glasses making Amy blush again. She knew Bernadette hadn't told anyone about the bath Sheldon had given her on the last night before he found out the truth. As with many of their girl only discussions Amy had learned that Bernadette was judicious about what she shared, even with Howard, and she could rely on her to keep a confidence.
"Al – what?" Penny grimaced at Bernadette
"Unselfish." She answered to clarify. Penny mouthed a silent "oh".
"Sweetie, that makes me happy that he is finally moving forward. I hadn't seen him since Monday and he was a big grouch because you missed Thai night. What's going on at work?"
"They want me to return and direct the nicotine study because they're not happy with how it has progressed since I was removed. I've been swamped with that and the new research I was starting."
"That's good right? It's what you wanted? If not remember I could help you could get a job at my company in a heartbeat if you're not happy at the university."
"Thanks Bernadette it's good to know that I have options but my heart is not in the private sector."
Penny was slowing the car down searching for a parking spot. Bernadette noticed that the neighborhood seemed tattered and worn enough to deter tourists but welcoming as they where surrounded by brightly colored bungalows and shops. She lowered her window to let in the briny air. "Wow. I haven't had a chance to come to Santa Monica in a while. I don't think I've ever been in this area."
"Vintage shops! I love vintage clothes. Oh, we're going to have to come back during the day when all of them are opened." Said Amy gleefully as she bounced in the backseat and surveyed the street.
"You know Ames, Forever65 is not the same as vintage."
"Just so you know, vintage is actually what I'm going for but I'm in need of some guidance."
Penny parked in front of what looked like an historic Spanish style apartment complex. The faded red saltillo tile roof contrasted against the buildings turquoise blue. Its wide arched entrance suggested a courtyard and was framed by decorative wrought iron that held several signs.
-x-
Paper Doll Vintage
Racer Boy Tattoos and Piercing
Moon Star Incense, Oils and Jewelry
Speakeasy Dance Studio
Grateful Head Salon and Spa
Beach Blanket Babes
Sisterhood Photography
Expresso Yourself Café
The largest sign hung at the bottom and read:
Ms. Susanna's Psychic Readings and Cleansings
"It was good to see Amy again. She seems to be spending a lot of time at work lately. I haven't seen her since Saturday and I need to discuss some tests she had mentioned for me." Raj chimed as he sorted through the latest arrivals at the comic book store.
Sheldon frowned and added "That may have to wait as their ladies night usually ends after midnight and all are highly impaired upon their return."
"Not tonight, they didn't take a taxi. Penny said they were going to check out some fitness classes for them to take a couple of times per week. I hope they find something good then maybe I can join them and try to get my figure back."
"A couple? A couple of times per week! Amy doesn't have time for such nonsense. She is already working long hours and now this? She has a schedule to maintain with me."
"Sheldon, face it our women are smart, talented and highly in demand. Heck, Bernie works late at least twice a week, every week. You'll just have to get used to Amy choosing work over you. It's not like you give her anything to look forward to. I hate it when Bernie comes home so worn out that we don't get to play hide the salami. A problem you'll never understand."
"Please do not ambitiously refer to your organ as cured deli meat. We know Dr. Rostenkowski has a preference for nano organisms." Sheldon retorted followed by his gaspy laugh.
Howard responded with a surprised look then nodded with slight admiration. "I'd be angry except I'm impressed that you got that reference and joke right."
"Sheldon Cooper never put anything or anyone above himself or his career. It's good to see that Amy is giving you a taste of your own medicine. She is a saint and the god Ganesh will bless her for having stuck around this long. Sometimes I feel bad because we set you up and all you're doing is stringing her along." Raj lamented ignoring the previous exchange and sniffing the pages of a newly opened comic.
"I am in no way stringing her along I have been straight forward about the paradigm of our relationship from the beginning. The relationship agreement stipulates that we are mutually supportive of our professional endeavors so this is not as you say 'Amy giving me a taste of my own medicine.' I'm just concerned that Amy's affinity for the subjects of her study clouds her ability to detect the undercurrent of a power play stemming from the shifting of positions within the administration of her department. You must remember what it was like when Siebert came on board and then Gablehauser to direct the physics department. The brown-nosers jumped out of the woodwork searching for the highest title gluteus to kiss. Neither Amy or I have the skill or patience to dance around the chamber pot known as faculty politics so they zero in on us."
"The part about her affinity sounds an awful lot like your relationship beyond that I don't want to picture anyone dancing around a chamber pot. And as I recall your big mouth and refusal to 'dance', as you call it, got you fired." Howard snickered.
"Her monkeys probably treat her better than you any way." Sneered Raj "They probably like hugging her at least."
Howard stepped away from Raj scanning his friend incredulously and baffled by his tone of animosity.
"Enough!" Sheldon snarled "Why is it you two are so obsessed with my relationship? This is the kind of interference that upset Amy on the night we played Dungeons and Dragons!"
"Dude, she was upset because she realized it's not worth it waiting for your crazy ass!"
Stuart hearing the argument walked over and requested they "keep it down" but his presence went unnoticed.
"You're just jealous and have always been jealous that I'm in a functioning committed relationship! The longest female relationship you've had is the one with your phone!"
"The only correct word in that statement is 'committed'! You should be committed! Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper cannot correctly solve the equation is your ego greater than or less than having someone in your life that loves you! Oh wait. There is no equation because that ego blames the germs but you know damn well those germs don't really exist! Amy should 'maintain a schedule' with someone who respects her enough not to spread false dirty rumors about her!"
"I'm going to have to ask you guys to take this outside" Stuart pleaded.
"Well. Well I bet you still can't talk to women. Go ahead there is one checking out the Detective series." Furiously panting and eyes bulging Sheldon pointed to the brunette in the opposite corner of the room while Raj refused to look in any direction except at Sheldon's face. Sheldon turned and stomped away slamming through the front door.
A stunned Howard reprimanded Raj. "What the frick got into you? I thought you were going to punch each other. And you're the one always telling me to control myself with that crazy bastard. Now we're going to have to scour the neighborhood before he destroys something or hurts himself trying."
Amy and Bernadette assured Penny that they would not judge her in spite of what they believed. If she felt the need to visit a psychic they would just go along with her for moral support. She pulled them in for a group hug and led them through the arched entry to the courtyard. The smell of spicy incense and citrus mingled in the air. At center we're two large orange trees protruding through the tiled floor that provided a canopy over the coffee shop tables and the chatter of customers who wanted to eat in the open air. To the left the girls followed the sign for the Paper Doll Vintage through some rustic French doors.
"Hey Dolls. Welcome to the store." Said a heavy set lady with hot pink hair pulled into a bun. "lookin' for anything special?"
"No," answered Penny," We're just going to the back to meet with Susi."
"Sure. Just don't forget to ring the bell"
"I'm wondering," says Amy "where your 1930's and 40's selections are found. My Great Aunts Flora and Clara used to wear the most wonderful clothes."
"Those are over by the fitting rooms and if you're interested my home-girl next door just received an order of thirty different era swimsuits. They're Esther Williams style remakes."
"Howie would love it if I showed up with something like that!"
"It's settled we'll go over there as soon as we're done here. See this is the kind of dress-up I can enjoy", bubbled Amy as she looked around the store.
"Ames, you've never said that you liked this sort of thing. I would have brought you here a long time ago. No wonder you never buy much at the mall."
"I do love that era. I have several albums and photos of both my aunts since they spent time in the entertainment business. I'll show them to you someday."
"Amy, you've hardly told us anything about your family. I'd love to see those albums."
"Me too", added Penny
They approached a red door labeled Madam Susanna and rang what appeared to be a doorbell. With a click the door opened and a petite tattooed 'Rosie the Riveter' in a red tank top appeared, who then gave Penny a big hug.
"Nena! I knew you would come. I lost your number but I was mentally summoning you and now you're here!" said the voice with a hint of a Latin accent.
"Wow. I felt like I needed to come see you but it was for a different reason. Susi let me introduce my friends this is Amy Farrah Fowler and Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz." Both gave a friendly 'hello' but were distracted by what was around the room.
There was little to suggest it was a place for psychic readings. Aside from the small desk in the middle of the room it could have been mistaken as a music room as instruments from around the world were hung or displayed on shelves along the walls. Amy's eyes rested on a shelf were she noticed something familiar.
"I bet you have a boyfriend that plays the bongos?" Susi mentioned
A giddy Penny responded "Her boyfriend does play the bongos!"
"Does he play them naked?" Susi inquired raising a brow and making Penny and Bernadette laugh.
"I hope", deadpanned a blushing Amy
"My sister is a social anthropologist and says she wants to do a study on why men like to play the bongos naked. I told her that may be an academic paper I'd finally read if she will include pictures"
Everyone laughed and Penny pulled out Leonard's shirt and a hoodie that she had brought in a bag.
"I came because I need a reading."
"And your friends are they customers or skeptics? Don't answer I can always spot my skeptics."
"Well they are both. I wanted them to see your photography for an idea I have in mind. Guys, Susi is not just a psychic, she is also a photographer and entrepreneur."
"Also I'm a food, music and business blogger and reviewer. You may have seen my reviews under SantariaSusi37. If you need a cleansing involving sage or eggs then I'm your girl. If your problems are so severe that we need to involve chickens, I have my grandmother step in to help. I have a pretty decent following and I own this complex."
Amy recognized the name and immediately filed that morsel away for when she could tell Sheldon he had been taking the advice of a psychic.
"Penny this place is like all the things we love condensed into one location. The three of us could spend a lot of time here. It could be our clubhouse." Offered Bernadette "What kind of photography idea did you have in mind?"
"Well Ames sort of gave me the idea to send Leonard something to keep him thinking about me. So I thought maybe I could send one of those pinup posters like soldiers would have for their lockers. I need some new headshots for my portfolio so I thought Susi could help me with both."
"A special beauty like yours deserves a whole calendar. So do you want us to help you pick out the clothes or poses?" quizzed Amy who was intrigued by any idea that could be considered a project.
"No. I thought the guys would like to have pin-ups of you too!" Bernadette nodding enthusiastically smiled and began to dance but Amy doubled over saying "no, no, no".
"Why not Ames? Let him see what he's missing."
"Nena, listen to the newlywed. It's not something that is going to hurt you and it will probably help your situation along."
Amy didn't want to mention that Sheldon had already seen most of what he was missing and it hadn't made any difference. She suppressed the sudden need to cry but added "If I do it then it's just for me because I think it would be fun. Agreed?" Her friends nodded and smiled but the initial happiness for all of them was now dulled.
"Listen nenas it sounds like all of you could benefit from my sister's dance class that starts at 8:00 o'clock in the basement studio. The class is called 'Find the Sexy You' it's a dance journey through some of the sensual dance styles in history. Nothing like the twerk and grind this is classy sexy. How 'bout it eh? Que dicen?"
Amy was the first to answer "Yo digo que sí.", followed by the others resounding,"Yes!"
"Penny, why don't you take care of your reading and Amy and I will get our gym bags to change and then meet you at the bathing suit store. The class starts in thirty minutes."
Gripped by anger Sheldon had walked from the comic book store three miles in the opposite direction of his apartment. When he realized his error he looked for the nearest bus stop and sat down to regain his composure.
They're all against me. First Bernadette and now Raj It's because she said they were like family. They want to take Amy from me. She spends too much time with the girls. They all want her to leave me. I am a bad boyfriend. I need to tell Kripke the truth. Raj is right. I don't deserve her. "I'm the best girlfriend you're ever going to have" I don't ever want another girlfriend I only want Amy. I am trying to make her happy. I kissed her. She makes me happy. She's going to leave me. She's not leaving me, she understands me. I will kiss her again. They don't know anything about our relationship.
"Sheldon!" yelled Raj, who ran up and sat down next to him. Sheldon barely seemed to register his presence as he wallowed in self-pity.
"Sheldon, look I'm sorry I lost it."
"Be aware that I still want to punch you. You have no business in my relationship with Amy."
"I disagree because I set you two up. I must be a godfather or something. Listen I messed up with Amy too. She's offered to help me many times and I've just blown her off. Then when she gave me advice about Lucy I ignored her. Considering all her success with you it was foolish of me. Then she helped me plan a course of action to help Lucy and I did my own thing anyway. Lucy even told me Amy was right."
"Amy is a patient and understanding woman."
"She told me to be patient with Lucy but I couldn't do it. If I would have listened, Lucy might still be with me now."
"I accept your apology."
"And quit being a douche like you were on Monday night."
"I was not a douche. You and Penny played nothing but Ms Pac-Man and cried all night. I just kept reminding you that it was not vintage video game night."
"Dude, you just lack the empathy to appreciate the love story of Pac-Man and the Ms. I made it to the level where the stork drops off the baby. Besides we didn't just play Ms. Pac-Man we also watched a movie."
"You watched Titanic! Titanic! What else was Penny going to do but cry? You could have at least chosen a documentary version. Then maybe I could have avoided having two weepy people in my apartment!"
"Penny picked the movie! Are you ever going to understand the importance of romance? I'm also willing to admit that you were right. I am jealous. I wish I had what you and Amy have. You don't realize how lucky you are that you found each other on the first try."
"Okay, but now I'm in need of a beverage."
At that moment Howard pulled up in his car. "Sheldon why the hell would you walk in the opposite direction? We've been looking for you for over an hour. Both of you get in, damn it!"
"Dude, we need rootbeer floats."
"Double scoop rootbeer floats, please." added Sheldon
The girls returned to Penny's apartment before the boys were back.
"That was the most fun I've had in a long time. I'm going to wait a few weeks before I show off the dance routine to Howie."
"Let's just say it's a dance class and not the other part." suggested Amy.
"We have to say that it's ladies only or Raj will want to come with us", chuckled Penny "Now I've been dying to ask, don't you think Susi is the 'real deal?'"
"She is very nice. I like her style but if you're asking if she is a real psychic you're going to be disappointed because there's no such thing." offered Amy while admiring her new one piece red polka dot bathing suit that she was holding in her hand.
"How can you say she wasn't real? She knew your boyfriend played the bongos."
"A psychic of her type is actually more like Sherlock Holmes. She needs to have keen powers of observation and deductive logical reasoning. She seems to be a master of both. If my pupils dilated or facial expression changed when I saw the bongos she could've just made an educated guess."
"Well, how did she know that Bernadette was a newlywed? There's just no way she could tell", Penny pouted.
"My hyphenated name for one," offered Bernadette
"The luster of her wedding bands is still fresh."
"No. No. Come on guys I know she's the real deal. Plus she gave me plenty of good news."
"Do tell", smiled Bernadette
"For now Leonard should be having a safe and fun time. She's not getting any negative vibes. Second her boyfriend is a stunt man in a new indie film and they need actresses and an assistant make-up artist. I have an interview and audition next Friday."
"Bestie, you would make a great make-up artist!"
"See. I knew I needed to go see Susi. I'm glad she telepathically summoned me." Amy held her tongue when she heard this and tried not to roll her eyes. Instead she continued to listen. "So what do you think of my gold bathing suit for the poster? I want to go back and buy a two piece."
"I don't think I've ever found two bathing suits that fit me at the same time but I loved the floral prints I bought. Penny, I think you would look good in the two piece cheetah print."
"Yes. Bestie next time get the cheetah two-piece then you and Leonard can play Tarzan and Jane. I like both of my prints but do you think I should have picked another color other than red for the checkered pattern?"
"Red!" blurted Penny and Bernadette in unison.
Penny turned on her laptop and was searching Youtube for some music. "I think we should practice the routine a little more, let me find the song."
"Girls, we have a problem", moaned Amy "now where are we going to wear our suits? I am not prepared to go anywhere in public. Am I going to have to lounge around my apartment drinking whiskey sours while listening to Etta James?"
"I'd do that with you, but don't worry. I have a plan." Bernadette assured.
As the guys were approaching the fourth floor landing all three paused to decipher what they were hearing.
-x-
Sexy can I, just pardon my manners
Girl, how you shake it
Gotta playa like whoa
-x-
"Good lord, are they singing?" griped Sheldon "Raj, I thought you said they weren't going out drinking."
Raj who was in front stepped up to the landing and began dancing and singing along with the girls.
-x-
It's a Kodak moment, let me go and get my camera
All I wanna know is sexy can I
Sexy can I hit from the front...
-x-
Hearing him Bernadette opened the door and Penny stopped the music.
"Hi, boys."
"I've brought milkshakes for the lovely ladies. So sexy, can I?"
"No you can't but we'll take the milkshakes", answered Penny opening the door wider to pass the shakes around.
"Thank you Rajesh" added Amy
"Amy, what are you wearing?" asked a stunned Sheldon, "Were you attacked by a rabid squirrel?"
"Oh, my workout clothes except the girls cut up my sweatshirt to give me the Flashdance look."
"She was a ma-ni-ac Sheldon, you should have been there to dance with her" teased Penny
"Muy caliente, Sheldon" giggled Bernadette as she exited to kiss Howard, "good night ladies. Come on Raj."
"Shawty, can you and I use that song for our lullaby tonight?" asked a leering Howard.
After bidding Penny goodnight Amy went across to 4A. Once in the apartment Sheldon did not hide the fact that he was scrutinizing Amy from head to toe.
"Did you go out on the street like that?"
"Well from the dance studio we came here. I don't see a problem. My capri pants and tops are more than most girls wear at the studio or on the street."
"I've just never seen you wearing something that snug. Maybe, if your tank top and sweatshirt didn't stop at your navel. You should get one that goes past your waist."
Amy remembered what Penny had said earlier in the evening and decided to act boldly. She spun herself gradually 360 degrees, throwing her chin over her shoulder so she could watch his eyes. She felt tingles over her entire body as she saw his stare follow her derriere and legs.
"Well do you like it?"
With a loud gulp he answered, "I don't like that other men might like it."
Amy frowned but let the subject drop. She had hoped for another kiss but knew that in her sticky sweaty state Sheldon would be the least likely to have this idea.
"On Saturday I need to start sorting out my things to find donations for a benefit garage sale my building is having in a few weeks. First I need to go to IKEA to buy a bookshelf and a step ladder. Do you want to go with me?"
"Absolutely" he smiled "I need to purchase a new lamp for my office at work. I'll help you organize too. I'll have my label maker ready but won't I see you before then?"
"Friday definitely but tomorrow I'm not sure. I'll text you. Right now I need to get home so I can jump in the shower. Pleasant dreams."
"Good night"
She gathered her things and went out the door. He followed and stood in the doorway. She stopped to hand him her empty shake cup "could you throw this away?"
He nodded but didn't move from the doorway. Right as she was about to take the first step down the stairs he called her.
"Amy"
She stopped and turned.
In a loud whisper he said, "I like it" then blushed and went back into the apartment.
A/N: SantariaSusi37 was mentioned by Sheldon in the last scene of episode 6.9
Nena is a spanish term of endearment in some countries that can mean girl, girlfriend, chick
If you Google Clara Ann Fowler you'll discover an interesting factoid I stumbled upon while writing this story, so of course I had to include it.
If you Google Esther Williams Swimwear you'll see what the girls purchased.
I hope TBBT doesn't just drop the Kripke lie from episode 6.14 because it wronged Amy but I don't think Sheldon will come to clearly understand that on his own.