Author's note: I'm writing on post-its, notebooks and napkins. I wish I could get this out to you sooner but life gets in the way. Here is another long chapter to show my commitment to my followers. Please review. I appreciate you.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.
"We'll always be together any kind of weather. Just like that, just like that.
Every little step I take, you will be there. Every little step, we'll be together."
Every Little Step – Bobby Brown
Thud!
Clank!
"What fresh hell is that?" complained Sheldon
"Sounds like one of your neighbors is moving furniture and dragging things upstairs." speculated Howard as he was selecting his Counter-Strike weapons.
Thud!
Clank!
Thud!
Clank!
"Dear lord, why couldn't they do that during the day? Raj, as a spectator in this round you can go check what that ruckus is about," ordered Sheldon.
"Are you telling me or asking me? Didn't we talk about your douche-iness?" Raj asked before going to check on the noise.
Friday night classic game night had been going smoothly with Raj and Howard but the girls had chosen to have dinner together and go shopping. This had soured Sheldon's disposition as he had spent the prior evening without Amy, who was once again caught up in her extra duties at work. He recalled how their first few months as friends they had communicated solely electronically but now he needed to see her and be near her regularly. Last night Amy had not been keen on skyping after her shower so instead she asked him if he would mind having what she dubbed as "pillow talk" by simply talking to each other on the phone. They spoke laying in the dark of their rooms for ninety minutes and it lulled Sheldon into a peaceful slumber once they were through.
tch, tch, tch
tch, tch, tch
"I'm putting this on pause. Raj was supposed to handle this!" groaned an irritated Sheldon who stood up to go look into the hallway. What greeted him was a gleaming smile from his girlfriend who was dragging an unidentifiable object up the stairs.
"Hi, Sheldon," his automatic response was to return her smile and follow in her direction.
"Amy, wait. What are you doing?' she was out of sight when he heard a bossy voice behind him.
"Move, Sheldon"
"Dr. Rostenkowski, what are you and your confederates fabricating?"
"If you must know General Lee, my confederates and I want a taste of high society so we are fabricating our own private pool and oasis. Surely your cotillion training mentioned something about the ill manners of leaving a lady to carry a load while you stand about and do nothing."
"Let's have it," he sighed and Bernadette handed him a large patio umbrella which he took up the stairs to the roof. Behind him he could hear the sappy exchanges that often left him queasy.
"Bernie, I thought I heard you."
"Hi Howie-wowie, come help us and I'll give you some sugar."
Howard curled his lips lustfully to respond, "I'm a slave for you my sweet". Then Bernadette led him downstairs to retrieve some foldable chaise loungers.
"Penny, this is perfect. I don't know why we haven't done this before. I can transform this into a magnificent oasis of beauty for relaxation."
"We need a bar, Raj. I didn't ask you for beauty, I just asked you to figure out how to put a bar up here."
"Who came up with this ridiculous notion? You need permission from the landlord? You need to verify that the roof can support the weight of the pool and the other nonsense you plan to construct. You may need a permit. You need to secure everything from the elements and would be thieves" grumbled Sheldon who was now certain that classic video game night was going to be ruined.
"The answer to the first question is 'I did' and I got the landlord's permission by bartering some house and baby sitting duties, checked the blueprints with an architect friend, we don't need a permit and I happen to be intimate with a knowledgeable engineer who can advise on the rest" fluttering her lashes at Howard she pulled him close for a kiss.
"Bernie, did you say baby-sitting?" hissed her worried husband.
"Yes, but certainly not by me. I've already made arrangements."
"I have so many ideas! I can make your bar and any other furniture we need from the pallet projects I've saved on my Pinterest. Then we can plan for a Koothraparty!"
Amy and Sheldon who had been quietly smiling and staring at each other were startled when Raj had clapped for joy.
"Amy, did you have any part in this?" questioned Sheldon.
"Yup, she did cowboy. It's all because she bought a new bathing suit!" shouted Penny.
His eyes opened wide and he looked at Amy who was glaring at Penny giving her a "shut up-look" with her eyes. He looked back at Penny who was repeatedly raising her eyebrows at him with an evil grin.
He tried to shift all thoughts by saying, "A pool will be terribly unhygienic. Even with that pump it will be nothing more than a sluice of dead skin cells and microbial vermin. I would advise you all to reconsider."
"Now wait a minute" requested Howard who had now switched to MacGyver mode, "we can add a sodium chloride filtration system to sanitize the water. The pool is only three feet deep and big enough for eight so it would take only a small solar panel to power the system."
"We will need a solar panel to power the music system, mood and task lighting," interrupted Raj.
"You need power for the mini-fridge," inserted Penny.
While the discussion continued Amy had begun to neatly organize the tarps, chairs and umbrellas that had been carried up. Sheldon helped her but his mind was on the idea of Amy in a bathing suit so he stole glances at her trying to imagine. What did it look like? What did she look like in it? He had spent two nights having nocturnal emissions about her in and out of her workout gear this week and now this?!
He had occasionally had this problem after his first kiss with Amy but it had been rare that he remained unconcerned, certain that he could reign in some control. After she had worn the medical officer uniform to 'play doctor' he had found the need to schedule bi-monthly sessions of self-abuse to curb his nighttime explosions. His concerns had risen the first few weeks after 'the spanking' and 'the bath' when in spite of his bi-monthly maintenance, he had to change his sheets almost daily for a month. He had made two different appointments with some urologist only to cancel them each time. He had had more incidents in that month than what occurred throughout his entire puberty so while he hoped there was a medical cause, deep down, he knew the truth. "Unresolved and repressed situations" as stated on the medical websites were usually the cause for wet dreams in adult males.
"May I offer you some tea?" Sheldon asked but before he could finish the question Amy had taken his hand and led him downstairs.
"Sheldon, I have some good news. My proposal for a personnel budget has been approved and cleared. I will finally be able to hire my own assistants for my projects."
"I told you that you were too valuable to their department for them to risk you searching for opportunities elsewhere." Sheldon prepared the mugs and Amy sat on the stool watching him.
"Oh, I didn't have to strong arm them as you suggested. I simply pointed out that Faisal's grant would not automatically renew if there were any major staff changes in the nicotine study it funded. The university would need to reapply to his foundation and that would take months without guarantee of approval."
A black cloud formed over Sheldon as he handed Amy her mug. She noticed and reached to caress his forearm. It was not enough to remove the gloom he felt from hearing that name.
"On a positive note, now that you are in charge of hiring assistants, I'll assume you will not be missing any more date nights, young lady."
"Missing date nights was your habit this was a first for me."
"Amy, in the spirit of our full disclosure agreement I can tell you it was never about being on a date with you. I just didn't like the idea of doing new things and going to new places that you wanted to try. As for dressing up you know I'm not a fan. I will say I enjoy being with you every second." As she sat on the stool smiling into his blue eyes she felt waves of emotions rippling from her heart. He stepped closer to softly kiss her temple then dig into his pocket "I want you to have this", he said offering her a key, "I should have given it to you a long time ago."
"You're giving me a key to your apartment? Will Leonard be okay with this?"
"I've informed him in my last email and I have added it to the roommate agreement. I want you to feel you may come and go as needed. I am more trusting of you than the careless cornhusker that comes barging in as whim strikes…" at that second the door burst open and with everyone rushing in and the honey-badger being first in line.
"Amy you better go, the wind is really picking up and rain has started to fall. It might be a bad one."
"We secured everything and drew a schematic for 'La Cantina de Los Robles', Raj and Penny will be in charge of supplies."
"We will be ready for an official grand opening on the 4th of July, bitches!"
"Just us Raj" Penny directed "No one but us. When Leonard gets back then we can have a bigger party."
"Agreed" chorused the group except Sheldon who didn't want any 'party' or the pool as he sensed he was losing his fortress of solitude.
"I better go" said Amy who purposely brushed by Sheldon so she could give his hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll be by to pick you up at 9:00 a.m. I'd like to have a cinnamon roll before we shop." Sheldon waved and nodded. Amy's smiled to herself as she went down the stairs. Two kisses! Two kisses! He's being honest without my asking and he's kissed me twice and he gave me a key to his apartment! My snuggle-bunny is really trying. She completely missed the conversation Bernadette was trying to have with her and answered with a "huh?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Just drive safely," winked Bernadette as they parted ways.
-o-o-
At 9:00 a.m. sharp Amy picked up Sheldon outside his apartment building.
"Good morning, Amy. Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, I did. The smell of the rain helped put me to sleep. I needed to thank you for the key. We didn't get to finish our conversation last night but your trust means a great deal to me."
"I meant what I said. I should have given it to you a long time ago. I also didn't get to tell you that I received a call from the young lady named Melanie who was at the Children's Museum."
"Was she calling for another moment with Professor Proton, Jr?'
"Yes she was. She was asking if I would be interested in hosting some fun physics lessons on Saturday mornings this fall. What do you think?"
"I'm flattered that you would ask my opinion but I'm not the one that would have to perform. That would be up to you. Is it something you want to do?"
"Amy you are the one that encouraged me to create the Fun with Flags web show. I would have been stuck with all that vexillology knowledge if it wouldn't have been for you. I want to know that you are with me on this also."
"Sheldon, what are the details? What do you plan to do?"
"She called for my address so she could send me detailed information. When I read it then I'll decide how to move forward. I know I want to create a Professor Proton, Jr. show but if you are not interested then I want nothing."
As Amy parked a lump formed in her throat and she wondered if he understood the depth of feeling he was expressing. "I would be happy to help you" she said swallowing her tears.
"Very well, then let's go have that cinnamon roll. I only ate half my usual oatmeal this morning so I would have room for all the yummies from here!" he exclaimed jumping from the car.
Their leisurely snack led to leisurely shopping. Each was enjoying the functional design of everyday items. It was a busy Saturday but in the early morning the shoppers were spread apart and unharried. Sheldon had selected his new desk lamp and was practicing his Swedish by reading the light bulb packages, when the relative quiet of the lighting department was broken by Amy, about 8 ft away, who hollered.
"Penis!"
Two of the six people in the area looked at her oddly but continued on with their browsing. Sheldon looked up wondering about the reason for the outburst.
"Penis!"
A third person a young girl in her late teens began laughing and joined Amy by yelling
"Penis!
Before Amy could repeat Sheldon rushed and grabbed her by the waist. "Amy what has gotten into you? Control yourself! Isn't this against social convention?"
"Penis!" yelled a fourth person, the young girl's friend.
"Penis!" yelled the other.
Amy could not contain her laughter from the girls' response and Sheldon's pained expression.
"Sheldon, It is just a social experiment. I remembered I saw that in a movie once and I wondered what would happen. Sorry, I didn't give you prior warning, it just came to me. Maybe I should have been more original and said that magic word that you said to my mother."
Puzzled Sheldon asked, "Magic word?"
"Vagina!"
Sheldon placed a hand over Amy's mouth, lifted her slightly off the ground and began dragging her to an 'apartment' display area. He could hear the girlish giggling behind his shoulder. When he found an uninhabited space he put her down.
"Leonard warned me about saying those words but I never understood the fuss over using anatomically appropriate language. I do know that I should not let my girlfriend behave like a lunatic no matter what she is yelling." Looking down at her he noticed that her palms were on his chest and she was slowly and gently sliding them vertically. He wondered how two sensations could coincide, comforting and electric.
"Penny and Bernadette have also reprimanded me about saying period, menses, tampon, labia or any genital reference in public conversations. Apparently they are offensive and yet both of them say fuck on a regular basis. Well, mainly Penny but still."
"Amy Farrah Fowler, I think it is your morning coffee talking. You should have not had a second cup and you should not go around saying" leaning close to her ear he whispered "fuck".
Amy felt a sudden wetness between her legs. At no point could she have imagined that today her boyfriend would be 'talking dirty' in her ear. The best part being that he had a firm hold on her and was still pressing her to his chest.
"Why are you whispering like that?" she didn't dare mention that it was revving her motor.
"I was raised in a Christian household and my Ma and Meemaw would be horrified if I said something like that out loud."
"Well most people wouldn't be. I bet if you walked over to the restaurant area and yelled 'rectum' more people would be offended than if you said 'fuck'. Let's try it and see what happens but first we better check for children." She tried to move from his arms but he squeezed her closer.
"No. Neither one of us is going to yell rectum or fuck" once again repeating the word as a soft whisper in her ear. "I plan to eat copious amounts of meatballs there later and do not wish to be banned."
"Copious amounts?"
"Yes. I'm not here often so I allow myself to indulge."
"Oh, I'd like to indulge also but I think two meatballs would be enough." She smiled wryly.
"Two meatballs could never be enough. Amy!" he gasped realizing her meaning from her teasing eyes and impish expression. He released her instantly and gave her a quick playful smack on her left buttocks.
A shocked Amy put her hand to her mouth then turned to scold him but a group of meandering customers began entering into the area. She stepped close and softly poked her index finger into his lower sternum and whispered.
"I hope you realize that you are conditioning me to use inappropriate language."
"I hope you realize that you are conditioning me to behave inappropriately with you." He whispered in reply. Each stared lovingly into each others eyes for about two seconds until Amy broke and said "Win, Win' which had them both blushing and laughing.
"I'll meet you in the linen area. I have to go back and gather my lamp." Sheldon grinned as he left.
-o-o-
It took them three hours to do their "shopping" because they ended up inventing a game Sheldon now called "The Interview Game", where in the interviewer would ask three questions and the other person was to answer each using only three words or less as a character from Dr. Who or Downton Abby that the interviewer would have to guess for points. They played several rounds alternating turns as the interviewer on the various living room displays and they had several "guest" appearances from onlookers who caught on and wanted to join in, a favorite had been the elderly lady who did a perfect Dowager Countess and the kids who wanted to try a Harry Potter version. They had lost track of points but over lunch agreed it would be fun to present the idea to Howard so they could enjoy his library of impersonations.
Back at Amy's apartment Sheldon had dragged and pushed a box containing a new bookcase. She waited for him with a pitcher and glass of fresh lemonade.
"Aah perfect" he said as he let the cool sweetness slide down his throat. "I'm glad your elevator works."
"Thank you for your help, Sheldon."
"Do you want me to put it together?"
"No. Not today I need cull all my books first. I'm going to throw out all the textbooks and professional journals dated prior to 2008. I've been saving boxes for sorting that I've labeled them out, keep and review." Stripped down of most her layers she appeared in a t-shirt ready to set herself to work, first by going into her kitchen to clean up and put her purchases in order.
Sheldon started pulling out her books from the shelves to assess and organize. He came upon Amy's high school yearbooks and sat on the couch to study them closely. In her freshman yearbook there was a solitary picture of her with pigtail braids, glasses and a closed mouth smile. The signature pages were blank except for a single script inside the front page.
"Dear Amy,
Self-respect and a hymen are better than friends and fun.
Love, Mom"
Sheldon nodded thinking the statement was pragmatic but he wondered what her mother would think of him now even if he did agree with her advice. Amy hadn't asked him to meet her family since he had skipped out on Aunt Flora's birthday party. And he had never met her mother in person after the ruse they'd perpetuated together.
He then looked at Amy's sophomore yearbook where her class picture was almost identical to the first except her chestnut colored pigtails were longer. He did find another picture of her in a group photo with the debate team, her hair up in a bun but without a smile.
"Amy, you were on the debate team?"
"Ugh yes. What are you looking at?" she walked and looked over Sheldon's shoulder,
"The short guy on the right was Terrence Mitchell, he was a senior. I was supposed to compete at the state tournament but two weeks before he stole my research files to give to his girlfriend from our rival Hancock High."
"Did you report him? Did you get even?"
"I didn't know it was him until I went to state and saw her with my folders and pieced the two together. He had offered to carry my things to my mother's car and he had switched them out. I drew her as my opponent in the third round. Pity for her just because she had the research didn't mean she knew what to do with it. I obliterated her and advanced."
"That's my girl."
"I confronted him and he said he knew I didn't really need it as much as she did so I should 'consider it a kindness' on my part! My team sponsor sided with Terrence saying that he was a senior it would be a negative mark on his record. That we won so no harm was done. It was awful. I was so disgusted that the next year I didn't rejoin the team."
"Of course they didn't fare as well," asserted Sheldon as he closed the book.
Amy went back to the kitchen and Sheldon picked up her Junior yearbook. Her class picture was of a girl with Repunzel-like hair, loose and flowing. She still wore glasses but her face finally softened with a small toothy smile that barely hinted of the gleaming smile he adored. He was astonished to find her in the picture with the cross-country team. His index finger caressed the photo of her long ivory legs in tiny track shorts. His mind drifted to her nakedness on the night he helped her into the bathtub. He didn't want to leer like some depraved pervert taking advantage of his sick girlfriend but of course he had peeked. She was his girlfriend.
There were a few signatures saying "Have a great summer", "Stay smart and funny", "Don't do anything I wouldn't do" but nothing personal or dirty like in his sister's yearbooks. Until on the last page on which he found,
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
I couldn't have survived it without you Birdie-girl.
Love, Archie"
"Amy, who was Archie?" the anger oozing in his voice, "and why is he calling you Birdie-girl"
"Archie called me Birdie-girl because he called everyone by their last names. His father was in the military and he had acquired that habit. With me, instead of calling me Fowler he opted for Birdie-girl. He was also a genius whose special favorite thing was programming and building robots."
"He couldn't have been a genius of my caliber," stated a jealous sounding physicist.
"No, I don't think he was but he had only gone to elementary school and been home schooled until that year. His parents wanted him to have a 'high school experience' so I was only with him that one year. "
"Did you date?" Sheldon stuttered.
"Pfffft. He was eleven and I was sixteen. He was the one person I could tolerate longer that thirty minutes and I understood his situation. As you know, older kids do not tend to appreciate a little kid with a high IQ. Archie was also a prankster so we enjoyed having fun."
"Are you still in touch with him?"
"No. We were pen-pals for years. He graduated from Boston University and then MIT but he died of Leukemia before his twentieth birthday."
"Oh. Sorry."
"It was sad but I hadn't thought about him in years."
Amy put away the dishes and unfolded her new step ladder.
"Your hair was marvelously long that year."
"I hadn't cut it since seventh grade. I loved my hair and I began to wear it loose. My mom said I would be mistaken for 'the whore Lady Godiva' if I didn't cut it or put it up," laughing Amy continued to recall, "so of course I wore it loose until somebody cut it in class."
"What? You were assaulted!" Sheldon rose with the yearbook and joined Amy by the kitchen.
"It was a varsity cheerleader initiation prank. A girl name Jenny Tomlinson sat behind me in Calculus and would try to cheat off my work but I never let her. Then one day she cut about ten inches off my hair. I wouldn't have noticed it so quickly except my girl Sonia jumped up and shoved her out of her desk and started cussing like a drunken sailor in two languages."
"Did you get retribution?"
"She was suspended. Her friends and the cheerleading squad were punished for having an initiation ritual so I expected that they would make my life hell except that I believe Sonia and her pals jumped Jenny or did something to intimidate their group."
"Who was Sonia?"
"Back then she was called a chola. She had long poofed up black hair, severely drawn black sharpie eyebrows, blue eye shadow and lips outlined with black or maroon lipstick. For awhile I rebelled against my mother by wearing that maroon lipstick around the house. Though their lips were only outlined not filled in, to compliment her east L.A. gangsta attitude. Her and her friend Shy had transferred or had been bussed. I'm not certain why but we had an influx of new kids my last two years in high school."
"Sounds unsavory"
"Not at all. Sonia and Shy were honest, blunt and funny. We were all outcasts. I helped them pass chemistry and they taught me all the bad Spanish words, street-style. They even took me cruising once with their boyfriends Puppet and Panda. I was able to ride in cars that were 'bagged', that's street for low-riders that could hop. Literally hop along the street like a spider on a hot plate. They put all sorts of hydraulics and mechanics into those old cars."
"I thought you couldn't tolerate anyone more than thirty minutes."
"Sonia would tell her homies - 'this is Genie, she's cool'- 'Genie' was short for genius," Amy explained, "then we would talk about their cars and they ended talking more about physics, math and engineering than the kids in my classes. It was a revelation."
"Fascinating. So Penny was not the first bad influence you had for a friend?"
"It's not the same. Penny is my Bestie, a confidant, a partner in crime. Sonia was just an acquaintance, a classmate, we talked at school not on the phone and we didn't socialize off campus except for a few times. I guess, maybe she was a friend and so was Archie. Hmmm. In hindsight maybe things weren't as bad as I thought."
"Amy, I've never known any of these things about you. I know about your professional accomplishments, your mom and that you have many cousins but not enough about the rest of your family or your own past. Why haven't you shared this sort of thing before?"
"You've never asked and have you have made it clear that you don't care about my stories on more than one occasion."
"How can you say that?" then reconsidering his stance "Okay maybe I've alluded to that but I meant your stories from people at your work not stories about you. I tell you stories about me and my family all the time."
"And I love to listen."
"I've been willing to listen too."
"Nope, you have been blunt in saying you don't care how the story turns out or cutting in with 'can we just move on'. That is one of your favorite phrases."
Alarmed by the truth of his callousness towards Amy, Sheldon went back to sorting the textbooks. Amy watched him knowing he was being evasive but didn't give the discussion enough importance to pursue. Sheldon couldn't overcome his curiosity and he sat back on the sofa with Amy's senior yearbook.
In her graduation picture she wore the traditional black cap and gown, honor student award ropes and new glasses. She showed a lovely smile but still not the one that could light up a room. This time there were several photos of her as a member of the cross country team. One of her running, emphasizing the shapeliness her medial and lateral calf muscles that Sheldon loved to admire, and one of her apparently completing a race. In the latter her signature smile was evident, as if the experience had given her enormous joy.
"You never mentioned that you were a jock," Sheldon teased as he studied the finish line photo.
"I ran for the cross-country team and I have not heard of any high school where that elevates you to 'jock' status."
"Were you any good at the sport?"
"I could run. Running, because it can be a solitary sport became one of my favorite hobbies. For me cross-country was about running against the clock, my last best time and not the other person running next to me. So to answer your question, I wasn't winning any meets but I did letter my senior year."
"What do you mean it became a hobby? Did you keep running after high school?"
"To clear my mind, to help me organize my thoughts I ran regularly until," Amy stopped to ponder the date by walking and sitting next to Sheldon on the couch, "I guess, shortly after I met your mother."
"Why did you stop?"
"I preferred to run on tracks, not the street, so I would run at the university after work. When that track was crowded I ran at the nearby high school but it was getting overcrowded too. I ran less and less until I stopped. Plus I developed an unrequited crush on a theoretical physicist and that distracted me."
"Oooh," Sheldon nodded uncertainly. "And how did that crush turn out?" he asked almost bashfully.
"Still unrequited," Amy blurted, bounced up and returned to the kitchen, on her way grabbing some new baskets that she was going to set above her cupboards for decorative storage. Sheldon had turned to put the yearbooks in the keep box when he stood to look back at Amy, the sight of her gave him a jolt that made him zip to her side.
"Amy! You cannot stand of the very top rung of a step ladder. It even says so on the warning label!"
"Sheldon, I almost fell because you startled me not because it was dangerous."
"One does not kid around with safety now give me your hand and get down from there," he said with furrowed brows glaring up at her as she turned to hold his hand. She lowered herself cautiously from an awkward position, so he offered his second hand. On the last rung he noticed that she was now almost at eye level with him. She lifted her head to thank him for his gentlemanly behavior but he abruptly stepped in close and lowered his lips to meet hers.
His lips were stiff at first but quickly softened when he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.
In the initial shock Amy's hands went up and paused in mid-air before settling on the back of his neck. Her lips joined the warmth of his fitting perfectly and succumbing to his loitering rhythm. His fingers delicately traced along the small of her back up her arms to her wrists, perched behind his neck.
He stopped to draw a breath, his blue eyes blazing at hers when he said pointedly, "Your feelings have never been unrequited, never."
The underlying pull of what they meant to each other drew them into another kiss.
It lasted long enough for Sheldon to lift Amy from the ladder, turn and place her softly down. She encountered an unprecedented phenomenon of multiplicity. Scattered about her apartment were a dozen duplicates of herself all staring back at her, each one breathless, each one befuddled and each one asking, "Did that just happen?"
A/N: Idea sources: Amy likes to drop gang and slang phrases once even calling Penny "P-Dog" so of course I had to give those things a root cause. Also Amy receives invitations for events from people at work regularly so I don't think she wasn't/isn't as completely devoid of friendships in her life as she believes.
In episode 6.4 during game night she is the one that suggesting playing water polo. That gave me the idea that she must have a history with sports.
I choose the chapter title songs for the story based on their lyrics but in this case I've also chosen the song because of the video. In my TBBT daydreams I have wanted another dance number and I think it would be fun if they remade this video. Now I'm rambling.
Next chapter will be short but up soon.