Author's note: Enjoy
Disclaimer: I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.
"What I'm saying is I'm in to you.
Here's my story, and the story goes, you give love, you get love
and more than heaven knows."
Rush Rush – Paula Abdul
The kiss had been one of the most monumental moments of Amy's life, she had expected to be happy, but she was ecstatic. Then wave after wave of pent up emotions both joys and sorrows that she had swallowed, resulting from their three plus years together, anchored themselves upon her chest not allowing her to breathe. Quite simply, she panicked.
Sheldon had taken it upon himself to put up the baskets on top of the cupboards as Amy had planned. When he returned to the floor he put the step ladder away. He saw her frozen in place and called her name softly.
"Amy"
Without a response he walked up to her, gently placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned slowly with both hands clutched to her heart and opened her mouth to speak. No words came. She closed her mouth, looked lovingly at her boyfriend and tried to telepathically send him her thoughts.
"Sheldon, If I talk, I'm going to cry. I'm going to bawl big snotty tears and not stop."
Sheldon's own twitch of panic was beginning to sneak up on him. He guided Amy by her elbow to the couch, once sitting in their spots he asked her, "Is everything okay?" She nodded, mouthed yes but was still rendered mute.
This set Sheldon off in a spasm of twitches and rapid fire babble.
"Did I offend you? You said I didn't have to ask for permission I been working toward this you were okay with the other kisses I've been wanting to but if I was wrong look at me maybe I should have waited I thought you would be happy I need to tell you that you make me happy maybe I should have planned for it everything is better with planning was it that bad? Why can't you talk to me?"
In a déjà vu moment she leaned across the couch towards him until she slowly kissed his lips once, twice and then a third time. He calmed down, took a breath, scooted towards her and kissed her again. The fact that this was indeed happening almost unhinged her and a single tear beaded down her cheek.
"Amy, please don't cry," Sheldon begged, "I don't know what to do"
She patted his knee and went to the bathroom. Where she put the toilet lid down and sat to give herself a pep talk.
Amy opined for a while that their relationship had been on a permanent plateau, but in one month they had begun a brisk ascent. This, thought Amy, was not a good time to discover that she was afraid of heights. She was not complaining. It was what she wanted. They were just ahead of schedule.
Sheldon's habits, routines and obsessions had been comforting in their ritualistic predictability, but so much of what had transpired between them lately had been unfamiliar. Now his kisses had affirmed reciprocal affection leaving them like atomic particles and the Uncertainty Principle, the more precisely a position is determined, the less precisely the momentum is known. 'Oh no!' she thought 'when did I start thinking in terms of physics first!'
She should have seen the momentum. The signs had been there. Their playfulness had been more tactile and suggestive since the D&D game. He had become infinitely more affectionate. He had kissed her before for goodness sake, she hadn't wanted to overreact and shut him down instead she chose not to react at all. She was perfectly willing to accept those tiny pecks and hugs for months without any additional promises. The Sheldon she knew was not impulsive or someone who would allow himself to be driven by emotions, or god forbid, desires.
And now what? What could she expect? What would he expect? 'Pull yourself together Fowler!' She told herself. 'Go out there and behave like a grown woman, not a weepy damsel you have been known to mock.'
Sheldon silently paced by the bathroom door and then started to organize the books as he had begun earlier. When Amy returned her vocal chords remained on strike so she helped him. They were used to having evenings without talking and this is what that became as they worked side by side, carried refuse to the dumpster, sorted, dusted, tidied, both set on finishing the task they had planned. They both found comfort in their mundane activities, their nearness and shared koala smiles.
When Sheldon's stomach rumbled he offered to make them both grilled cheese sandwiches. Amy declined and pulled out a new package of double stuff Oreos instead. "Amy, Oreos are not a proper dinner," Sheldon scolded but seeing her near tears again he softened and poured them both a glass of milk. They ate in silence until the package was empty.
"Amy, I need to go back and do my laundry. Are we okay?" She nodded and rose to get her keys and purse so she could hide the tear caused when she heard him say "we". 'Damn you weepy damsel, go away'.
Later when they arrived in front of his apartment building he turned to speak but stopped, reached over and turned off the engine.
"Amy, I wish I could comfort you with the right words but I know I'm prone to saying the wrong thing. I hope I'm not being a bad boyfriend for leaving you but I sense you need some time alone."
Amy leaned to kiss him on the cheek.
"Will we still continue as planned for tomorrow?" he asked smiling.
She nodded.
"Alright then, don't forget to text me when you get home."
-o-o-
Knock, knock, knock Amy
Knock, knock, knock Amy
Knock, knock, knock Amy
It was 6:30 a.m. she had showered and needed to dry her hair. Dressed in a denim skort and tank top she opened the door. There she found her boyfriend, puffy eyed and hair askew carrying a duffle bag of paintball gear and a garment bag.
"Sheldon, what are you doing here? I was due to pick you up at 7:30."
"I couldn't wait and Penny had a breakfast shift so I asked her to drop me off," he answered putting down his gear on the left wall by the front door. "Amy, you can talk! Thank goodness!"
"Sheldon, I'm sorry about yesterday, I just didn't know what to do," and then by putting both hands on her cheeks she tried to hide their redness. "I'm just nervous and embarrassed."
"I'm nervous too but why are you embarrassed?"
"It's that-that-that," she stuttered covering her face completely, "I've been so wanton and coquettish with you on several occasions. I admit I wanted a reaction but knowing that you would do nothing but reprimand me made it amusing. I've acted like I know what to do but I don't know about any of this and I don't know what to expect."
"Amy, I think I would have noticed wanton."
"I don't."
"Then, like when?"
"When we cuddled and I told you about second base, when I asked you to take me to a hotel room, when I showed you my bikini wax. Just to name a few."
"On the first two you were impaired by emotions and alcohol. On the last one, I thought it was just weird. I don't know why you had to show me all those band-aids. Now as far as coquettish do you mean like when you twirled for me the other night?"
"Yes."
"Welllll"
"Well what?"
"Uh. Okay, here it goes," he grimaced before finishing, "I like it," he paused, "I may not always understand what you are saying or what you are trying to do but you get an impish twinkle in your eyes that I find delightful. The best part of any of it is that I know it's just for me."
"Of course it's only for you. I've never even considered any of that behavior necessary or even in my wheel house. It's just an impulsive display to gain your attention."
"I know and my visceral reaction to your flirting is that it makes me feel extremely possessive of you. You're my girlfriend. You're mine," he whispered then cautiously sweeping some damp wavy hairs away from her face he asked, "Now can you explain to me why you couldn't speak to me?"
"I know you don't like weepiness but I was overcome with emotions because I never thought we would reach this point, at least not yet," she answered biting her lower lip.
"Amy, I said I wanted you as my girlfriend and everything that goes with that and I fully intend to work my way to that goal. Now last night I was doing some research on couples and kissing." He drew out some documents from his duffle bag and sat on his spot.
On her couch Amy tucked her feet under her but rose to her knees to kiss him on the cheek, "So you don't regret it? You don't want to take it back?"
"Take it back? Not in the least but I did write up an addendum to our relationship agreement," with a heavy sigh he added, "See your earlier revision was too broad. It is somewhat obvious to me now that we both need to define boundaries or guideposts to help us navigate the physical component of our relationship. The research I did, spoke of how the habit of kissing is beneficial to a couple's relationship as well as their health. So I would not be opposed to a regular 'hello' and 'good-bye' closed mouth kiss."
"Not be opposed? No. Sheldon If you are forcing yourself to do this then we need to forget it. No kissing at all, until or if ever, both of us want –," his lips on hers stopped her from speaking further and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Shortly afterwards he pulled away to speak, "You don't usually doubt me. Why aren't you convinced that I want this too?"
"I'm barely getting used to the idea that you're willing to touch me," she began to sob quietly, "that alone has caused me some psychological bruising, even though my neurobiological training tells me it's not personal."
"That's because your female goofy juice gets in the way of smart Amy who understands me." He watched his fingers glide through her hair as she buried her head in his chest. After a few moments of quiet he tried to make her smile by adding "I bet that TSA agent was wishing the bruising you gave her wasn't so personal."
When she heard his gaspy laugh she couldn't help but chuckle and wipe her tears. "You had to bring that up. I still feel terrible about ruining that trip."
"My point is that you don't care for impromptu touches either, unless it's from me or someone you are comfortable around. I'll add that on the 'only for me' list."
"Okay, I've always admitted that we share a lot in common. And now what?"
"Exactly. Those three words have been giving me nightmares and I need smart Amy to help sort out a plan. As I said before closed mouth 'hello' and 'good-bye' kisses shall be a non-optional requirement, unless we are in public or among our group whereby discretion is priority."
"Sheldon, why are you saying 'non-optional'?"
"So that if you're mad at me, a kiss will help you reconsider."
"Hmmmm. This doesn't sound very scientific. Where are you getting this information?"
"Redbook. Mom and Meemaw have always sworn by their advice."
Amy snickered but was adept enough to know that questioning Meemaw and Mary Cooper today was non-optional. She took the documents from his hands to read. "You want us to time our kisses? And you're limiting us to only those two lip kisses."
"Well, yes. Anything longer than five Mississippi may lead to chaos. Just like if we allow any more lip kissing. I'm protecting both of us from things we're not ready to experience."
"It doesn't mention anything about non-lip kissing. Is that unlimited?" she asked raising one eyebrow.
"Like when you peppered my forehead with kisses?" he watched as Amy nodded. "Then I say the limit should be two each."
"ten"
"Amy, we are not planning on making-out yet."
"twelve"
"three"
"eight"
"four"
"Where do I sign?"
Before the ink had dried with both signatures Amy asked, "So tell me smart guy, yesterday you said I make you happy. Is that true?"
"Very true," he answered smiling at the renewed brightness in her eyes.
"So did you plan on kissing me yesterday?"
"No. I've been wanting to but the moment and my nerve have never worked together. So it just happened."
"I see. So you understand planning can easily be overridden by physiological factors."
"Of course but our planning helps keep those factors in check. Now finish getting ready while I make breakfast. I have a driving lesson and then you need to drop me off at paintball."
"Hang on. I have three spontaneous kisses left and I plan to use them."
"Now? All at once?"
"mmmhmm" Amy nuzzled close to Sheldon's neck and placed a soft kiss just below his right ear and then combined a warm breath with her two remaining kisses down his neck until she reached his collar bone. He stiffened, his eyes shot wide open, his pupils dilated.
"Clearly I didn't research this thoroughly enough," he gulped.
A/N Please review.