Author's note: Warning this chapter contains adult language and references but not enough to change the rating. I had some time off and had planned to write three chapters but the result is one giant chapter because it was Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday and something actually happened! It will probably the last time I try to write an ensemble cast piece chapter.
By nature I'm a reader not a writer because I love a good yarn. In writing my yarn got longer and longer but that's what happens when I watch S6 Bloopers and extras. (Shout out to UK shippers who gave the US mates a peek one week early). Watching my OTP really gets my motor running. I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except maybe a few characters I will throw in myself.
"Don't ever compare me to the rest
that'll all get sliced and diced -
Competition payin' the price."
Momma Said Knock You Out- L.L. Cool J
-o-o-
"Alex, thank you for picking up the lunches. You may feel free to take the afternoon off."
"Dr. Cooper, This is a pleasant surprise. Thank you."
"Don't mention it. Just don't get used to it. Good day."
Sheldon had plans to work in the Physics Lab that evening and since he knew he would miss Anything Can Happen Thursday he had invited Amy for a late lunch. He had not seen her in person since Monday so he was bounding around with child-like enthusiasm as he unpacked the food and utensils. Her recent text told him she was in the building set to arrive at any second so for the sake of privacy he preferred to meet in his office.
He opened the door so she wouldn't have to knock and caught her as she was turning the corner towards his office. "Hi, Sheldon," she smiled, making his heart skip.
"Come in. I have lunch set out in here."
Amy hooked her purse on the back of her chair while Sheldon closed the door. She had not finished turning before Sheldon had pulled her to him for their kiss. This was unlike any previous kiss. Sheldon's lips seemed softer, they were slightly parted and instead of just pressing against Amy's he began to give what seemed like tiny kisses that gingerly tugged on her upper and lower lips. Before she could figure out how to reciprocate he stopped.
"Sheh-el-duuun uh –what was that?" she asked as her knees became limp noodles.
"That's how it's done," he grinned while holding up his groggy girlfriend "I didn't know how that would go but I think from your reaction I get an A."
"A plus."
"Of course. I prefer to excel at everything."
"How did you learn to – I mean it was very nice before – but this – hoo - kiss me again."
"Now Amy you know we have and agreement to contro-" her arms had been around his neck so she pulled him to her when a knock came at the door. They separated just as the door opened.
"Dr. Gablehauser, what brings you to my office?"
Looking at Amy, who was smoothing her appearance, he responded, "Dr. Cooper sorry for the intrusion but I was coming this way and I thought I might as well bring you this code." He handed Sheldon an index card and looked back from Sheldon to Amy.
"Ah yes, the after hours pass code, " noticing his focus on Amy, "um and let me present my girlfriend Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler whom you might have met at Professor Tupperman's funeral."
Amy put out her hand, "Yes, we met briefly but we did not get an opportunity to speak. I am pleased to meet you."
"Dr. Fowler I have read some of your publications in Neuron magazine. Your work is very impressive. Dr. Cooper is a lucky man."
Sheldon's proud smirk quickly vanished as he noticed Gablehauser's eyes examine Amy from head to toe. His nostrils began to flare and his jaw locked while his mind began to ponder. "Is he checking out my girlfriend? He may have spent some unholy moments with my mother but I won't allow him to consider such things with my woman."
Sheldon looked at Amy and could detect a slight furrow in her brow so as she spoke he took her hand and pulled her close and slightly behind him. "I'm impressed that the head of a physics department would take an interest in neurobiology."
"The biology building has the best conference room for our interdepartmental meetings and teleconferences. I'm there several times per month so I take the chance to read the journals and magazines that are lying around."
"If you'll allow me to interject Amy, our lunches are getting cold."
"Once again I'm sorry for the interruption but thank you Dr. Fowler for being a friend of the University."
Sheldon and Amy both looked puzzled but it was Amy who asked, "Friend of the University?"
"Yes. Yes. Believe me, anyone who keeps Dr. Cooper focused on his projects and too busy or weak to obsess about suggestion boxes is a friend of the University."
A bewildered Amy slowly responded by saying, "I - a-ssure you that Dr. Cooper manages his projects without my -" before she could finish Sheldon was escorting Gablehauser out of the office.
Sheldon wasn't exactly clear as to what he was referring to or eager to learn more but he felt a guilty pang in the pit of his stomach. "Thank you for the pass codes Dr. Gablehauser. I'll destroy the card as soon as I commit it to memory." Sheldon closed the door and turned to Amy.
"Let's eat."
"Sheldon, what did he mean by 'too busy or weak'?' "
"Who knows," he waved his hands, palms up in the air, " I've told you before that we don't get along because I questioned his credentials when he took over the department. I think he was just being rude. He saw we were about to eat but he engaged you in conversation anyway."
She snickered, "Sheldon, these are salads and you said they were getting cold."
"Not just salad," reaching into a brown paper bag he pulled out two covered Styrofoam cups, "I also ordered a cup of minestrone soup for you to go with your anti-pasto salad."
"Yum. I only had coffee and yogurt for breakfast so this is perfect."
As he leaned across the desk to hand her a spoon she kissed him on the cheek before sitting down. His lopped sided grin was returned and they held their gaze until he asked,
"What is your schedule for tonight? Raj and Howard said they were leaving early to be with you girls at this tournament."
"We're competing as individuals and as a team. We can warm-up at 5:30 but round-robin play begins at six. In round one we are in eight groups of three but only the top two will advance to the second round. Round two will be four groups of four and again the top two advance into bracket play."
"So they whittle down to eight players from twenty-four. Is this for each event?"
"Yes and the first one to start is shuffleboard, then darts and then pool."
"Do you actually think you girls have a chance? Howard said most of your competition will be men. Don't they have a woman's division?"
"I believe bar games I believe are meant to be gender neutral, at least at this event, I'm not sure of the usual protocols. I think Penny and Bernadette will be hard to beat. The problem is that if you make it to bracket play you will face seeded players who have won other tournaments. That's the twist. They call it a challenger event. They let the novices fight it out to face ranked champions."
"So you ladies will be going home early?"
"I don't agree. Bernadette's father said he thought we had a good chance."
"Now tell me, why is he going to be there?"
"He's the one that knew about the tournament since this place used to be a cop bar at one time. He and his retired buddies still meet there for lunch weekly. He is a man of very few words but he seems honest and blunt. I like him and trust his opinion."
"Amy you're going to think I'm sexist but playing in college dorms and rec rooms for book money is not the same as playing in a bar with drunken idiots. Even if your skills are superior, the charged atmosphere, crowd and noise may become unsettling to you."
"I work with drugged, noisy, unpredictable, hostile, feces throwing primates so it won't be much different."
"Oh. Good point."
They finished eating in silence. Amy's anticipation was rising while Sheldon brooded over Gablehauser's actions. He kept looking back over at Amy and began to worry about her evening activities.
"Amy, will you be drinking tonight?"
"I don't plan to, I need to stay sharp but afterwards we'll just have to see. Penny has an audition tomorrow afternoon so I don't expect her to imbibe too much either. Why do you ask?"
"I'm just wondering who will be driving?"
"Oh. Raj and Howard are driving afterwards. Penny will take a cab there because she has something to turn in for a class first."
"You sound like you're getting excited."
"I am. I better get going home to change. Thank you for lunch."
They began to pick up their refuse and wipe down the desk. When it was all shoved into the paper sacks Amy offered, "I'll dump it on my way out so you won't have to tolerate with the smell."
Sheldon nodded approval as Amy walked nearer to him but did not touch him, "Now about that kiss. Sheldon, when you make a physics discovery are you going to keep it all to yourself?"
"Of course not."
"Are you going to just tell people you discovered something, show them and walk away or are you going to want them to understand how you made the discovery and admire its intricacies?"
"More than likely the latter. Woman, what skullduggery is going on in your head?"
"Nothing at all," she began to twirl her hair with her index finger, "I just think that as your girlfriend when you discover something that would," she cleared her throat," enhance our intimacy you would want to instruct your partner on the techniques to -" she saw his eyes start to blink repeatedly and teeny droplets perspiration accumulate on his temple. "oh no. He's going to panic." She began to step away but he lifted her chin to kiss her again.
This time his lips were moistened and the added sensation made Amy's heart jump and skin cells pirouette. She wanted to forget everything and just make-out with him all afternoon.
"Okay, your turn." He whispered breathlessly as he adjusted himself to a half-sitting position on his desk with his hands on his thighs.
Amy leaned towards him, licked her lips and started her focus on his beckoning lower lip. She worked her way slowly around to the upper lip then back to the bottom which she tenderly tugged, nipped and rubbed then she softly pressed both her lips directly against his to finish the kiss. When she pulled away he sat swaying with his eyes closed and a half smile.
She reached to caress his cheek with the back of her hand, "Sheldon"
"mmmhmmm. A plus," he said opening his eyes.
"Oh. Thank you Professor Cooper" Amy giggled.
"It's Dr. Cooper," he corrected, the life returning to his droopy eyes, "and you really need to go and get ready for your event."
"Is everything okay?" she asked as he was pushing the paper bags into her arms.
"Yes. We discovered that taking turns is a great lesson even for grown-ups. Be careful tonight and keep in touch. Now on your way," he kissed her cheek and guided her with his hand in the small of her back out the door.
When she was gone Sheldon flopped onto his chair, tossed his head back, closed his eyes and smiled.
-o-o-
"Bernie, I didn't think you would show up entirely in black leather, but I'm lovin' those chunky, strappy heels."
"Their burgundy color would look great on a dress," added Amy as the girls gathered for an impromptu meeting in the bar's bathroom.
Bernadette was applying lipstick and looking in the mirror as Amy was doing the same with lip gloss next to her. "I love those black shoulder panels on your red leather jacket. It makes it one of kind. Who would've known they'd have such awesome clothes at a Harley dealership. I could tell my dad was surprised by how much we shopped. He was pretending that he wasn't happy to wait for us but, since mom made him sell his bike, I know that he likes to go there and just sit on those Hogs. Oh and good call on the wearing the contacts Amy. I don't think your glasses are biker girl chic."
"Were we going for biker girl chic cuz I would've worn a bikini top instead of this shirt" piped Penny walking out from one of the bathroom stalls. "I did wear my pointy cowboy boots just in case I need to do some ball-bustin'. Ames, not that your red wedge heels aren't cute, and it's great you're not wearing tights, but don't you own some black boots?"
"Yes and I thought about wearing them but I have them put away with a costume. And besides the extra height can only help me when hitting the cue ball."
"You don't look intimidating at all. What did Raj say? 'you're one step away from foxy' if it wasn't for that black Flash t-shirt. That t-shirt makes you look cute. Poor Sheldon's missing out on this tonight. I know he would hate the crowd but I bet he'd be gaga over you" chuckled Penny "Ya know that's the shortest skirt I've ever seen you wear. Hey, we should get you a black leather mini skirt next time."
"I don't know why but when I saw this shirt at the mall I had to have it and I thought it was perfect for tonight. And what's wrong with my black denim skirt?"
"It's not leather!" chimed Penny and Bernadette together.
"I know why you bought that t-shirt," teased Bernadette, "You wanted to think of Sheldon being all over your body. Oooooooooh. Oh and a white low cut tank top would have looked sexier but Sheldon's the only one who would like what you're wearing more."
"I just need to feel comfortable with all the bending, reaching and stretching we'll be doing tonight and that is why I wore these shoes. I've found I can tolerate wedges for hours which I can't do with heels. I do love the softness and flexibility of this jacket but don't you think it will be too hot as the night goes on?"
"I don't care, I'm not taking off my birthday present and when I save enough I'm going back for the pink one."
"Bestie, when your birthday does come you'll have to give it back so we can wrap it."
"Amy, if you weren't wearing that jacket you'd be wearing a cardigan. This is way better besides its been kinda cool and breezy in the evenings all this week so we should be alright. You should also put your hair up to keep it out of the way," Bernadette ordered.
"Bernie, what did Howard say about your black leather pants and jacket?" asked Amy as she was putting up her hair.
"Trust me, he's seen the pants before but he loves the jacket. I do have a different top for the pants at home" giggling she batted her eyes and squeaked, "he likes fringe."
"TMI Bernie! Ames you need to be prepared about the fact that there are a lot of assholes out there who will say anything to break you down. You cannot afford to lose even one match so use all your assets to mess them up first."
"Is that why your jeans are painted on?"
"Damn right, assets baby assets." Penny answered as she bent over and smacked her own butt where she was joined by Bernadette doing the same thing and saying, "Assets baby."
"Wait, let me take a picture of this gem." Amy clicked her phone's camera and laughed, "Penny, do it again by yourself so I can send it to Leonard."
Bernadette chose that moment to give Amy more tips, "Now remember you don't have to show all your skills at once. Save them for the later rounds when you'll really need them so you can show them up like Giacomo at the Kentucky Derby."
"Are you saying I'm a long shot? Because that is not very inspiring."
"No, I'm saying - let them think - you're a long shot."
"Ladies you forget who you're talking to, I know all about playing mind games."
"Sure but can you do this?" Bernadette began to lower the zipper of her fitted black leather jacket exposing her ivory skin, cleavage and as she continued the swell of her bosoms.
"Stop!" yelled Penny, "are you even wearing a bra?"
"Keep those puppies contained" Exclaimed Amy, "what are you trying to do knock our eyes out?"
"I'm wearing a really pretty silver, burgundy and black demi bra. This jacket has a satin lining and it feels so nice. I need to keep my no-so-secret weapons comfy."
"It's 5:30 let's go," announced Amy. They intertwined their arms for a group hug and then walked into the bar.
-x-x-
Langurs Serum had been the original name for the cop bar that opened in 1974 on Wilshire Blvd. of West Los Angeles. Professor Wolfgang Presbury had retired and bought a run down brick building for pennies on the dollar. His desire to clean up the building and turn it into a poetry reading, novel writing, beatnik hang-out and literary dive bar dissolved once the precinct five blocks down the street discovered his cheap prices for bourbon, whiskey, scotch and beer. Writers and law enforcement apparently nursed at the same teat for escapism and solace.
His endeavor prevented him from becoming idyll and it financed his children's college educations and weddings but by the late-eighties he was done. Ownership transferred and the Brick House hung as its new moniker. The smoke laden faux wood paneling came down replaced by white painted brick, lightening up the barroom atmosphere. A dance floor was added to go with the wine coolers and umbrella drinks. Cop leather was replaced by Michael Jackson crotch-grabbers and Miami Vice wanna-be's who were all actually rich college kids acting out their own version of cosplay. The only known strippers to make appearances by then were g-stringed gay men performing for Tuesday's Lady's Nights.
Foolishly that owner sought to augment his income by dealing cocaine in the curtained phone booths by the bathroom lobby. Retired beat cops who were used to routine had not stopped coming to the place they still considered their watering hole and by instinct had sniffed out the felonious activities. After a shakedown by some dirty badges the place stayed open until the raid of 1995 when it was boarded up pending completion of an investigation and the perpetrator's trial.
In 2004 a pair of internet millionaires had the highest bid at the city auction for the property and the one next door and thought it would be fun to turn it into high tech man-cave. They did not count on the proximity of the Pacific Coast Highway bringing in the motorcycle clubs of middle age crazy men and women whose interest was limited to cruising, drink and food to help them forget their daily grind. To cater to this cash flow they installed big screen televisions, new pool tables and a trained kitchen staff. The Monkey Juice Bar and Grill was renamed as a tribute to its origins and a desire to clean up its image in an area that was trying to gentrify the last block of seediness in the neighborhood.
By 2013 the bar had been sold to an investment group who wanted to create a hybrid Dave and Busters atmosphere. The wall to the building next door was knocked down to create a play arena. Once you walked through the original room you could sit at the old bar and look across to the new space. Polished cement ramps bordered the sides of a sunken billiard arena of nine tables. The ramps sloped three feet up to an open back room of shuffleboard tables, competition dart area, dozens of stainless steel pub tables and barstools that provided a view to the arena. The exposed brick walls, black ceilings, gray floors and rails that divided the spaces gave some the feel of a loft space but to others it looked like nothing more than a furnished indoor skate park.
The arcade games never arrived because the cost of construction and remodeling up to code made it prohibitive. What they ended up with was a modern billiard hall attached to and old pub. The Monkey Juice Bar and Grill had yet to meet its expected glory but the remnants of each incarnation lingered as you could find every age and variety of clientele from past and present on any given night. The oldest resident to linger was the original carpet in the original building. Through all the ownerships, all the reconstructions not one proprietor said 'pull it up', each said 'we'll shampoo it later'. This meant that, at any given moment, on any given night, you might smell nachos, Captain Morgan and limes, followed by a whiff of Tiparillos, rancid beer and, what the Mexican workers labeled, nalga.
Raj leaned against the bar and sniffed then wrinkled his nose. A salt and pepper haired man with a thick fu-manchu moustache who sat five barstools over said, "It's the carpet."
"Excuse me?'
"The smell. You smelt something and it's the carpet."
"But I wasn't smelling it a second ago and then it just happened. No one is around me. I thought it odd. It's kind of gross."
"It smells like dirty ass."
"No, it's far worse than someone passing gas."
"Not passing gas, dirty ass and it's the carpet. The cheapskates have never pulled it up."
"The smell is gone now."
"It'll just sneak up and surprise you depending on what stirs it up. Then the air-conditioning brings it over to you. You may not get a whiff of it again for weeks. "
"You would think they would want to get rid of that."
"You would but some say it's the ghost of good times and removing it now would make the business fail."
Raj could not contain his laughter, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," then more seriously, "no offense."
The man moved over next to the barstool next to Raj. "No offense taken. It is stupid but like I said the bastards are just too cheap to get it done. They were supposed to renovate this side of the building but it never happened. I think all the old tables and chairs on this side smell too."
"So why not sit on that side?" Raj asked pointing to the side opposite them above the arena.
"They only serve beer at that bar and I'm here for the hard liquor. Can I buy you a drink?"
"Oh that's nice but no. I'm a designated driver for tonight. I take that back we won't be leaving for several hours. I'll take a bottle of water and a grasshopper – no make it a bellini."
"I'm Wayne." He offered while signaling the bartender.
"I'm Rajesh. So is this a regular hang-out for you?"
"Since the nineties."
"So you're a loyal customer."
"I worked here for awhile."
"Were you a bartender?"
"I was considered more of an entertainer."
Raj was distracted when he saw the trio of girls emerge from the bathroom hallway and head towards the competition area. They all waved at each other and smiled.
"I saw you with those ladies earlier. Are you together?"
"They're my friends and they're competing tonight."
"You're not?"
"It's not my thing but I'm here to cheer them on."
"That's pretty good for you to be out with three hotties."
"They're all spoken for if that's your interest. I have to look out for them for their men."
"Trust me that wouldn't be my interest." The drinks arrived and Raj took a sip.
"Excellent. It's not every bar that can make a good bellini and peaches are just starting to come into season," he slurped the drink completely, "oops. I shouldn't have done that I'll have to drink the next one slowly."
"That's why I come here. Great bar."
"So what kind of entertaining did you do?"
"Do you remember the movie Cocktail? Where Tom Cruise is a flair bartender, doing all types of tricks."
"Yes. Is that what you did and could you still do that? I'd love to be able to impress my friends with something like that."
"I'm pretty rusty but I'd be happy to give you lessons of any kind."
"That would be a great addition to my hosting skills."
"Are you a party planner?"
"Yes and no. I'm an astrophysicist at Cal-tech and my hobby is party planning among other things."
Laughing he declared, "Rajesh you're the most interesting person I've met in here in years. I wouldn't mind finding out about those other things you like," he grinned.
"Thanks Wayne, that's very kind of you. What do you do now?" Raj asked while summoning the bartender, "what are you drinking?"
"I take a Jack on the rocks. I'm an optical laboratory technician. Tell me Raj are you seeing anyone?"
"I was and I'm still trying to get back together but really I've lost my optimism." He moaned before the drinks arrived.
"I can't see any reason that you should be alone."
"I do have a roommate who's going through hard times and feeling lonely too, so we've managed to look after each others needs."
"Now that is a good friend." Wayne answered with a wide-eyed expression of surprise.
"There you are Raj. I was texting you to meet me where we can watch the girls," griped an anxious Howard.
"I forgot to put my phone on vibrate. Howard this is Wayne. Wayne this is my best friend Howard."
"Hello. Let's go Raj. You need to take pictures to send to Leonard because I want to watch Bernie."
"I'll see you around Wayne. Nice talking to you." Raj said as he shook hands with Wayne who put both his hands on top of Raj's. "You know where to find me," he indicated.
Together Raj and Howard walked to the ramp that led to the back shuffleboard competition. "Dude that old guy with the crew cut was looking at you like you were a lolli-pop."
"Don't even joke. We were just having a pleasant conversation there was nothing gay about it."
"I'm not joking. I saw how he said good-bye. Come on what guy does that?"
"Oh CRAP!" glancing back at the bar he saw Wayne wave at him.
"Yup yup yup. Did you at least get a drink out of it?" Howard asked in a loud whisper.
"Oh CRAP! But wait I bought him one too."
"Well good then you won't have to put out, -yet," he sneered while slapping Raj on the back.
-x-x-
The weighted puck rested in Bernadette's hand, the score was close. Mathematically she could tie the score by just sliding her puck to the end of the table for three points. The other option was to bump their three point scorer off the table for a win but if she overshot her puck could fall, leaving the score tied for another round. Worse scenario she could miss her opponent's puck completely and lose the game.
She wished she could look at Amy for direction even though she won the last round when the top opponent was disqualified for getting coached. She wouldn't be stupid enough to actually talk to Amy because in the last year they had become close enough to be able to communicate with subtle facial expressions and head movements. She already knew what Penny would do as her game plan had been to knock everyone off the table even if it meant she would win by getting to fifteen one point at a time. It had worked and Penny was already qualified for bracket play. Amy though was always strategic and managed with a plan opposite of Penny's. Her skilled touch allowed her to place her pucks on the lip of the table for points. This frustrated opponents because any attempt to knock her off meant their puck would fall too leaving them scoreless.
Just then she saw Amy move in the crowd to stand parallel to the opponent's puck that lay in the two point area. Without making eye contact she simply looked down at the table and Bernadette got the message. How silly of me she thought, I've only been thinking of the three-pointer. It would be easier to knock off their two-pointer and I'll win by one point. One deft stroke and the match was over. Bernadette advanced.
Darts were not Amy's game. "I could win if they let me use blow darts or throwing stars. I know I wouldn't miss the bullseye at all."
"Don't worry Amy. Your win in the first round still gets us team points. Can you believe how Penny works it?"
Since darts did not allow a legal way to impede your opponent, skill could not be faked. In Penny's case that included the skill of distracting your opponent. She started with friendly banter and compliments followed by a toss of the hair or shake of the bootie as needed. It was one hundred percent effective even with the woman who called her "a hot number". Her charm and deadly aim garnered her three drinks, a coupon for a free tire rotation and a top seed in bracket play.
As when shooting pool Bernadette's height would become a disadvantage. The target was at a regulation height which meant she had to shoot up and across. The correct angle needed could not always be achieved, if not for her heels and flexibility she would have messed up repeatedly. If not for the talkative fools who baited her she might have remained sweet and genteel. At 8:03 p.m. in the second round of darts the switch was flipped and the honey badger came to life.
"Hey, Polly Pocket shouldn't you be home having a tea party."
"Polly Pocket, is that the name your cell husband called you in prison?"
The change in voice and demeanor stunned the watching crowd and dissolved her opponent. Five minutes passed before anyone laughed soundly and it was five minutes and forty seconds later that she claimed victory.
Amy's first opponent was still stuck in a round of darts so she was able to watch Penny's first match. Unlike the first to two contests the entrants for the billiard's contest had a broader range of personalities that went from unsavory to meek.
When Penny stepped on the floor to practice the first thing she heard from her opponent was, "Blondie, you here to take my drink order?"
"I thought you were here to take mine."
"Blondie, I'll take whatever you offer me and give you the time of your life." He slurred leaning towards her ear as if to share the stench of rotted barley.
"Back off! Are you gonna talk or play? Forget warm-up lets get this over with."
Once the match started the rules kept interaction between opponents was regulated. Since their table was near the edge of the arena spectators where able to stand to view nearby. This is where Amy placed herself to watch and where she was barely able to hear one particular cretin but she knew that he was trying to distract Penny. Penny's game was true to the fundamentals. She controlled the cue ball, hit solid shots and when given the opportunity ran the table. When she won she did not savor the victory but turned towards her heckler. As Amy neared to offer congratulations she saw Penny shove the cue stick under the heckler's chin.
Gritting her teeth she snarled, "Trailer Park, It's not gonna take much more for me to use this to help give you a prostate exam."
He put a hand on the stick and gave her a toothless grin, "Coming from you I might like it."
Amy seethed but before she could interfere Penny broke the stick over her knee and jabbed the splintered end below Trailer Park's belt, "HOW ABOUT NOW?!"
He put his hands up and slithered away. Penny looked at Amy. "Don't worry that's probably the worst. You'll be okay." Amy knew she would be more than okay. Game on. At 8:42 Terminator Amy arrived.
-o-o-
Sheldon was logging in the reports of his latest tests but he kept looking at his phone. He hadn't heard from Amy since 6:30 when she had text that they were 'off to a good start'.
He didn't like what he was feeling. He didn't worry as much when they went out on girl's night as long as they took a cab. Tonight it was different, the worrying had given him a headache and at 7:00 he took two aspirin. Maybe he should have gone with them. Maybe he should have kept Amy from going. He soothed himself by thinking that Penny wouldn't let anything happen to Amy. Penny had stood up to a bully to get his things back but it was Leonard who stood up to Penny's ex-boyfriend to get her T.V. and money back. The feeling returned. He wished that Leonard was there with them. Then he remembered that Bernadette was there too. She was scary. Amy would be okay.
He decided that he would finish his notations, put his bus pants on and go home. There was no point in reviewing his calculations tonight. He couldn't think clearly anymore.
At 9:00 he received a photo from Penny. It was a wide shot of Bernadette at a pool table and what looked like Amy at another table closer to the camera. She included a text that said:
R grlz hv mad skllz
-P
"No. No. No. Amy's not wearing her glasses," he thought, "everyone is going to notice her magnetic eyes but they're suppose to bet only for me." The worry had returned.
At 9:08 he received a photo from Raj. It was a close up of Amy aiming at an eight ball. Just as he had feared her eyes were stunning. Then he noticed that she had her hair up something she often did while working. He looked at her exposed sternocleidomastoid muscle, which had often distracted him during their lunches. That was where she had kissed him on Sunday morning and someday he'd like to have nerve enough to kiss hers. He recalled how after he had washed her hair it had dried naturally with flowing waves. That had become his favorite style and he would need to find the right moment to mention that to Amy. He read Raj's text which said:
Princess Ph.D reigning supreme.
-R
At 9:11 he received a photo from Wolowitz. It was a medium-wide side angle of Amy bent over, preparing for a shot. Three men stood against a wall. The first, clearly watching the action on the table. The other two had their heads tilted to the right clearly examining his girlfriend's posterior. Howard's text said:
Pirates looking for booty.
-H
At 9:12 he called a cab.
-o-o-
Bernadette was in a foul mood. She had just finish tenth in darts and fourth in shuffleboard and they were both matches she thought she could have won. Arriving for to her pool table for the first match of bracket play she was greeted by Joey Napolis, a two-time champion of the Firecracker Tournament held at Q's Billiards up the street. Joey liked making time for the ladies so he admired the petite blonde in her leather pants and jacket. He usually preferred brunettes but a zesty limoncello was a nice desert, he reasoned.
Right before official play began he leaned towards Bernadette's ear to mention, "Aye, when this is over I'll let you unzip mine, if I can unzip yours." Rubbing his fly he vibrated his eyebrows at her and gave her a leering smile.
Loudly she barked, "Zip it up Alice, your lady parts are showing."
The crowd roared. Joey was embarrassed so he wanted to make quick work of this ragazza. Emotion clouded his skill and on the break the cue ball connected on the wrong spot leaving the group of balls clustered in the middle. Bernadette was only able to sink in two solids before she had to set up a defensive move and hand over the turn. Before stepping aside Joey heard 'zzzzipsss'. Bernadette had lowered her jacket zipper two inches.
He sank in one striped ball.
'zzipsss' – lowered another half inch.
He sank a second striped ball.
'zzipsss' – lowered another half inch.
He sank a third striped ball.
'zzipsss' – lowered another half inch.
He sank a forth striped ball.
'zzipsss' – lowered another half inch.
He hit the cue ball off the table.
Bernadette cued up the ball and ran the table and when she sunk the final ball Joey ran to the referee. "Interference! She distracted me during play."
"Listen Joey, I saw the whole thing and you should have said something earlier. But you know and I know that play was dead and she was far away from the table. Also she didn't do it while you were setting up to shoot so the rules can't help you. We all would have been a lot happier if you would've sunk in at least two more balls. The show was just getting good," answered the burly judge who then winked at Bernadette.
-x-x-
Penny was the first to see Sheldon. "Sheldon what are you doing here? Isn't it past your bedtime?"
"I came to offer my moral support."
Reading the worried tone of his voice and creases in his brow Penny said, "Sweetie, she's doing fine. She finished eighth in shuffleboard but right now she's going to shoot pool against the woman that beat me. If she wins she'll be in the finals. Come on I was just going to join the guys."
"Can't I go say hello to Amy first?"
"Not now. Play is just going to start and only players can step into the arena. When she's done I'll get her for you."
"Penny, what is that horrible smell?'
"What smell? It's probably coming from all the people."
They made their way to an upper level table near the center of the rail where they could easily watch the competition. Arriving they found Raj with tussled hair and a torn track jacket.
"What wild beast attacked you?" asked Sheldon.
"Howard. I had to keep him from interrupting one of Bernadette's matches. Look he even bit me because I wouldn't let him yell. She had to play like a hustler to win but it's all good now. Right, Howard?"
"I can't take another one like that," groaned Howard holding his stomach.
"That was well played. Sista knows how to go all out." Penny chirped giving Raj a fist bump.
"What happened?" asked Sheldon.
"I don't want to talk about it," answered Howard.
Penny rushed over to put her arms around his shoulders. She leaned her head towards his and said softly, "Sweetie, you do realize she didn't show any skin, right? She was just messing with that guy because he was an ass. It was his own fault that he couldn't concentrate."
"That's just it. I should have gone down there and confronted that guy. I heard what she told him so I should have known that he had tried to come on to her. I should have defended her honor," sulked Howard
"She would have been disqualified if you had done anything and now look she's kept winning and is in the semi-finals. Losing was his punishment."
"What about Amy? Has anything happened to Amy? Who were those men in the picture you sent me?"
"Cool your jets. Nothing's happened to Amy. Once she started playing pool it was like the Amy from when you first dated. She's all serious and trance-like. If anyone has said anything to her it hasn't affected her game," reassured Penny.
"Sheldon, don't worry about that picture I sent you. Those other guys lost and are probably gone by now. Amy didn't know that they kept looking her over. I thought it was funny but after seeing Bernadette's match I get why you're upset."
"Dude, I don't blame them for checking her out. She does look lovely tonight. And Sheldon you should tell her and also that she should ditch the glasses completely."
"Raj, why would I tell her that? She needs her glasses," he glared then looked down at his feet pretending to kill a bug.
"Like Penny said she has been trance-like. You look into her eyes and it's like nothing will faze her. Her eyes are like emerald ice. Oooooooh I like that! And Bernadette's eyes - and her mouth - shoot fire. That's it! They are Fire and Ice."
"Geesh, Raj shut up."
"Penny, Penny, Penny. When did life make you so cold?"
"Oh, I see Amy." Sheldon exclaimed and was about to wave when Howard and Raj grabbed his arms. "What are you doing? Stop it," he squawked
"Don't distract her," commanded Raj
"You're like her frikkin' kryptonite. She's in a zone so don't mess it up," accused Howard.
"He's right about the kryptonite. She could win this thing," added Raj.
"Let me go. I thought you said nothing would faze her."
"Now what?" Penny sighed.
Howard explained "Look the minute she sees him she is going to lose her game face and get all gooey," changing his voice to female, "oh Sheldon you don't like places like this, we need to keep you comfortable, you don't like crowds, will this mess up your schedule, we need to make sure everything is just the way you want it."
"That's right. Anytime you're away from your apartment she acts like that with you," confirmed Raj.
"She's not that bad. Besides Howard it's not like Bernie doesn't do that with you," then looking Sheldon firmly in the eye she added, "We can't let her see you until this thing is over so lay low. Got it?"
Sheldon frowned then pouted but sat down to watch Amy play.
-x-x-
Victoria Medina was a retired school teacher who had taken up pool during the past two years to help her stay active. She had won five tournaments and was known as a very slow player and strategist. Taking her time drove opponents crazy but she always stayed within the regulations giving few any alternatives but to play at her pace. This had upset Penny who quickly lost patience and the game. She had read this by watching Penny play in her prior matches and knew she didn't have to make any adjustments to her existing game. Amy on the other hand had been difficult to read. She was almost expressionless. She hadn't given any hint to her weaknesses, all her skills were meticulous and flawless, and it seemed nothing could distract her focus. Victoria decided to put the pressure on Amy first, hoping she would crack under the pressure of knowing a win would put her in the finals. She passed her chance to start the break to Amy.
Amy's weakest skill was breaking. Unlike Bernie she could not muster the ability to hit the balls with a violent burst of fury that would send them careening all over the table. She could effectively hit the rack and pick and choose her targets to finish a game but she knew she would need something more against experienced players. So far she had only pretended to be a straight pool shooter.
Amy had spent six college years living away from home. She wanted her independence from her parents and the ability to spend lengthy hours buried in her love of academia without her mother's pressure to be social. In the late hours of the night she needed something to help her unwind and she could usually accomplish that by taking a run around and across campus but after dark it didn't seem safe. On autumn nights of her first semester she discovered that the football games would empty the dorms and the campus. After her run she began to spend time in the rec room that was attached to the men's and women's dormitory.
She had picked up the cue stick and like with her instruments she had set up a practice routine. This habit helped Amy develop and strengthen her basic skills but unlike her music there were was not a selection of complex pieces to master. Always one to expand her repertoire she designed games and challenges for herself. Unlike the quarters game she had played with Penny, she found that pool had unlimited possibilities.
There had been this one thing she did that repeatedly won her $100 bets. She had to prove she could perform it six out of ten times before they would pay up but she did it. By the time she had left college she could perform it ten out of ten times. She had only practiced it once on Sunday after twelve years but the touch was still there and it had been a success. Bernadette had been in the bathroom at the time but her father had seen. He had been the one to explain the tournament rules to them, so watching Amy practice her shots made him laugh heartily until tears were in his eyes. When Bernie returned he didn't mention anything but only told his daughter, "I'll be there to watch the finals."
Now that Victoria had strategically passed her the break, Amy knew it was time. This woman had beat her bestie and she wasn't going to let that go. She went to the chalk to complete her preparation ritual, returned, lined up her cue to the right of center, bent over to check her line of site and played. She hit the cue in the precise location that she wanted lifting it slightly above the racked balls. The crowds silence changed to an "aaawww" because it appeared to be a poor hit but the white sphere and its controlled spin landed in the sweet spot popping out the eight ball which then rolled into the side pocket. Game over. Silence.
-x-x-
"Holy Fuck!" yelled Penny shattering the quiet.
"Oh My Cow!" wailed Raj
"That wasn't luck, she knew what she was doing," blurted Howard
The crowd went wild and the three danced 'Ring Around the Rosie-like' around Sheldon and the table. Sheldon stood up smiling from ear to ear. When Amy shook hands with the defeated he saw her t-shirt for the first time. He rubbed his Flash logo and found himself longing to touch her.
"Stay down, damn it" screeched Penny pushing Sheldon down into his seat.
"Penny your language is appalling. Where is your decorum? I want to go see Amy."
Rolling her eyes she replied through the corner of her mouth, "the only rum I'm gonna have tonight is the one in my daiquiri. Raj go get us some. Sheldon, it's only one more match you can wait. I can't believe it! I can't believe it! This has been so much fun!" She began dancing around the boys pretending to box against them while they continued a conversation.
"Sheldon, did you know Amy could play like that?" inquired Howard.
"No, but Amy can do anything she sets her mind to do."
Penny sat to calm herself, "well she didn't set her mind to winning at darts but she sure is making up for it."
"That's because her expertise is in throwing stars and blow darts."
"I'm afraid to ask how you found that out," commented Howard skittishly.
"She was helping me clean my stars and I showed her how to throw. I found out quickly that she has incredible aim if she throws ones that are the size of a quarter or silver dollar. The larger ones give her trouble but I still think she could be deadly."
"Yep. I've seen it myself – girl's got a talent with quarters."
Raj returned with drinks for three and a bottle of water for Sheldon.
"Okay I'll bite. And the blow darts?" asked Howard.
"Oh that," Sheldon chortled, "I just wanted to see if she could train a monkey to use a blow dart, it was something she mentioned once. She tried to teach it to blow rice at first but it kept sucking it in to eat it instead of blowing. She didn't want to try anything else so we had target practice in the primate lab. I think she's trained the monkeys to clap for her because they were very enthusiastic for her and not for me. It threw my accuracy off."
"So Raj, Penny, now you know the overlords will arrive with death-rays, throwing stars and killer monkeys."
Penny slurped her drink and cracked up because she could tell that Sheldon thought what Howard said was a compliment.
"Dudes, you know what I realized tonight is that all of your women could have kicked the asses of all those bullies that beat you up as kids."
Sheldon and Howard looked at each other and nodded agreement.
"Ha! I'll have to tell that to Leonard. – Oh look- Bernie's getting ready to play. If she wins she'll have to play Amy for the championship. Here's hoping." She made Raj and Howard cross their fingers but Sheldon would only give her the Vulcan sign.
-x-x-
Jack Tonnelier was a former automotive engineer turned dealership owner. He had won this tournament three years straight and ten others around the city. He liked to use the place as his hideout since his business SoCal Motors was only a mile away. He had never seen the three ladies that had arrived to cause a buzz but he wasn't concerned about their abilities. Until the last match he had hardly been impressed with anything except Green Eye's focus, it seemed unshakable. That last shot though hinted something. It hinted that she was a ringer.
Jack rushed to the registration table to find her name. On his phone he Googled Amy F. Fowler and discovered that she was a neurobiologist at UCLA. Definitely not the standard credentials of a ringer but no one else appeared and if not for the resembling picture on the Neuron website he would have dismissed his findings. He was called to his semi-final match against the petite one. He wanted to make an example of her so he could focus on his new favorite doctor.
-x-x-
Amy chose to watch from the corner of the arena so that she could lean into the corner where the walls met. This would keep people from tapping her on the back, brushing up next to her or whispering in her ear. The quantity of touching and back slapping was making her very uncomfortable to the point that between matches she was only concentrating on keeping her elbows tucked. She was grateful she wore her leather jacket. The thickness had kept the touches from seeming more penetrating and intrusive. She wished that Sheldon had been there so she could lean against his chest. Her PDA reservations were the same as his but she needed him she didn't care if everyone saw. She was experiencing her own sensory overload and only he would understand. Playing the match was the only other time she found comfort because it afforded her the space to move around and keep others at a distance.
Amy watched as Bernadette's opponent chose to play a highly defensive match. Unlike Penny who only thought two move's ahead, Bernadette was calculating and would plan her next four moves. Twice though she had needed to use the bridge and twice she needed to stretch into off-balance awkward positions. As Amy watched closely she noted that like a primate invoking social status this man was toying with Bernadette, purposefully exploiting her weakness which were her reach and height. He could have won several moves earlier but continued to extend the match attempting to deliver a message of dominance. Finally it was over.
-x-x-
"Bernie you did great babe," said Howard hugging her and placing several soft kisses on her face and lips.
"You did better than great girlfriend. That guy is the reigning three time champ."
"Sheldon! When did you get here?" asked a surprised Bernadette "Amy will be so happy to know you came."
"I've been quarantined from seeing her until this nonsense is done."
"Oh yeah, that's a good idea. We need her in take-no-prisoners mode not Sheldon-is-my-boyfriend mode."
"I can't believe all of you. Amy is an intelligent, independent woman and not anything like a mindless groupie. I am offended for her that you characterize her as such!"
"Sweetie, they're not saying she's a groupie. They're just saying she always puts you first."
Generally this would have made him happy. If they had been talking about his mother he would have nonchalantly stated that it would be fitting and expected, with Amy though it began to feel wrong.
-x-x-
Once upon a time there was a young Amy Farrah Fowler who had trouble making friends. When she reached middle school and high school it only gave her the slightest twinge of concern because her mother had prodded her. It wasn't that she didn't like people in fact she enjoyed that detachment afforded her objective scientific observations of their behavior. Once embedded in their social constructs she became claustrophobic and irritable. By second grade she preferred the company of adults. Adults didn't bother her when she was reading by pulling her ponytails. Adults were able to read and appreciate her Gray's Anatomy textbook. Spending her elementary years in the presence of children had been tedious. If she had been asked about her superpower then it would have been detachment. To her those children were stupid, to them she was mean.
An NIH project studying over a hundred adolescents showed that their brains go through a massive reorganization between the 12th and 25th year. The slightest sliver of change began in Amy during her junior year. Not soon enough to change a reputation of superiority and condescension and not enough to change her into somebody that cared. It was her mother's will and a few friendly acquaintances that forced her to catalogue how human behaviors affected her directly.
Where Sheldon didn't understand sarcasm, she didn't understand duplicity. Why even bother? Just make your point, she thought but in the world of high school that didn't happen. She remembered Sonia's words, "People be fronting, Genie, you keep playing it straight. That's what we like about you. Just don't let them play you. Set them right, do it quick or they gonna wanna try again."
"Hi, my name is Jack."
Amy nodded and shook his hand following the ritual she had established since her first pool match.
"I see. You're one of those players that don't like to talk before a match. I get it. No problem."
Jackie-T was his college name. He had done some department store modeling and logged hundreds of hours in the gym. Now at forty the grey that had begun to appear at his temples finally made him interesting as well as handsome. Two failed marriages only proved to him that he was good with the ladies but poor at relationships. It amused him that he could openly date two different women because they liked his money and enjoyed his attention.
"You have the most magnificent green eyes I've ever seen," he whispered to Amy.
Amy was staring at the floor gathering her thoughts. She had lost the chance to break and was only hoping he would mess up to give her a chance to play. When she heard him she knew what she had to do.
She slowly raised her head and locked her eyes on his. Arching one eyebrow she curled her lips and without changing her stare she licked her lips. She let her eyes glide down his body and pause at his manhood. Her eyes went back to his and she slowly bit her lower lip. Keeping her eyes on his she walked over to the chalk table to begin her ritual. It was something she had done all day without knowing where it came from but now her brain told her to give it special emphasis.
She slid her right hand on the chalk cone and placed it back on the shaft of the cue stick. Then she pumped it slowly 1 – 2 – 3.
She slid her left hand on the chalk cone and placed it back on the shaft. Once again she pumped it but this time slower 1- 2 - 3.
Still her eyes were not leaving his as she picked up the blue chalk cube and rubbed the tip of the shaft following the same pattern 1 – 2 – 3.
Once again she licked her lips, puckered slowly and blew across the tip.
She put the butt of the stick down beside her, put her right hand on her hip, bore her eyes into to his and waited.
-x-x-
Penny and Bernadette's lips seemed permanently frozen into an O. They looked at each other and Penny said, "Mousy wallflower my ass!" Bernadette nodded as they squeezed themselves together intertwining arms and holding hands. Howard and Raj did the same.
Sheldon had needed a better view. No amount of pushing from Penny could keep him down any more, he stood and watched intently. He looked around sensing that the hum in the room was odd when from two tables to his left he heard a pair of men talking.
"Oh man, oh man, I need to take her home with me."
"Or at least to your car," the other laughed
"Nah. Have you seen her bend over? That ass is tight. I wouldn't mind giving it a ride."
"Take a number after me."
Then another voice to the right and behind him he heard.
"Damn. I got a boner watching that!"
Every muscle in Sheldon's face contorted and his hands balled up but before he could do anything there were eight hands grabbing his arms and windbreaker.
"What's happening? Why are they saying that?"
Penny who had only partially heard the remarks said, "Sweetie, settle down. Those guys are just jerks. Don't listen to them."
"She's just staring that guy down. It's just a staring contest."
"You're right. I know. Like I said they're jerks. Let's just watch okay."
-x-x-
Jackie T disappeared and Jack returned "What the hell just happened?" the thought, "isn't she just some college professor. That picture and her bio should mean that she would be thrilled by my attention. Now her eyes are burning me up. Women don't do that to me, I do that to them."
His unsteady hands gave him a poor break. He was only able to hit in two solids before setting up a defensive shot. He noticed that she played left handed so he tried to place the ball where she could only make a good play if she went behind her back and he doubted that possibility.
Amy had been playing left handed but in truth she was ambidextrous and watching Jack's face sink as he noted it gave her great pleasure. She laughed on the inside but did not kid herself that the match was over. She ran the table but when she had two balls left she needed a moment to calculate some formulas and plan her next moves. She went and stood by the chalk cone.
-x-x-
Every time Amy bent over the men to Sheldon's left moaned or said "mmmmmyeah" and this time when they saw her by the chalk cone one said to the other, "I'm gonna film her jerking that stick so I can watch it and jack off to it later."
Sheldon snapped.
"Noooooooo" Penny grabbed for him but it was too late he was gone. Raj and Howard pushed people out of the way to get to him. What they saw when they reached him frightened them. Sheldon's left hand was around a guy's neck. He had him smashed against a wall dangling two feet off the ground. The right hand was cocked to strike.
Raj grabbed his fist but Sheldon shoved him away.
Just then a very large hand rested on Sheldon's shoulder and the presence attached to it was taller than him. The unfamiliarity of that sensation shook him back into reality and made him look behind him.
"Son, let me take the trash out for you." Mike Rostenkowski's rough deep voice made Sheldon relax. The coughing dangler was grabbed by the collar and Bernadette pointed to the other guy who was simply directed to move along with his pal.
-x-x-
Lost in thought Amy did not notice the commotion above them until she saw all the heads turn to the upper level. She didn't look. Instead she played her next shot. It went in but left her with an awkward angle for the next. Her opponent's remaining balls on the table were obstacles to overcome. She bent over to shoot then her elbow twitched. She heard the crowd boo. She stopped, stood up and noticed Jack standing twelve inches next to her. She had forgotten his existence. The crowd booed again. In spite of the crowd she heard him.
"Step away from her!"
The Texas twang was unmistakable. Sheldon
She searched for him and when they made eye contact she felt a release of tension she didn't know she was holding. A smile spread on her face. The spectators who had become used to her deadpan expression all turned to look at Sheldon. He held one hand up and returned her smile.
"That's my boyfriend." She told her disappointed opponent who failed to get the desired rise out of her.
In the stands Bernadette looked at Sheldon and said, "told you."
Jack received a warning for "sharking" as you must sit or stand away from the table when your opponent is shooting.
Amy had one ball to sink. She had to choose to play defense or take a risk for a win. She chose the risk but the ball bumped next to one of his by the pocket and stopped. It hung over the hole, one bump away from victory but it looked like it had fused with his.
Jack took over the table and got down to his final two balls. He needed to use one of his balls to carefully break the union of the two sitting near the pocket. One wrong bump and her ball would drop giving her the victory. His action was very delicate the miniscule tap provided just enough gap so that on his next turn he could finish the game.
Amy's only chance at victory was to make the cue ball do a 180˚ reverse turn around his ball to hit hers into the pocket. He expected her to just hit the cue ball to the other end of the table and give him his turn. She didn't. She had a trick shot she called the tornado she raised her stick at an almost 90˚ angle aimed for the spot and shot. Perfect - the little white ball swirled around his ball tapped hers and stopped. Her ball dropped.
-x-x-
Exhausted and ready to go home the friends began to exit. Bernadette and Howard were at the front of the group weaving through the crowd. Raj was at the bar buying everyone bottled water. Penny was walking just in front of Sheldon and Amy.
A familiar toothless grin stopped in front of Penny. "How 'bout a kiss for your win?"
His drunkard's breath moved too close to her face so she side stepped him, put her hand on his face and shoved him away. His flailing stagger propelled him towards Amy who was too busy talking to Sheldon to be prepared for someone grabbing her so close to second base.
She shrieked, jabbed her elbow into the offenders face and sent blood spewing all over the carpet and the people walking nearby. Trailer Park was a bleeder. Passers by jumped away as he struggled to get up.
Amy saw the blood and instantly grabbed Sheldon afraid that he might faint.
Simultaneously in the front a red haired tattooed woman shoved Bernadette, "Whore! Where do you get off trying to steal my Joey!"
Bernadette shoved her back, "Who the hell is Joey?"
"I saw you showing off your boobs to him Trashbox! I know he came back to see you but he's mine!"
A stunned Howard was moving like his shoes were on fire. He didn't know if he should get in the middle or help Bernadette.
"You better not touch me again! I don't know anything about your Joey. I've got my own man."
"Liar! Slut! Are those even real?" both her hands cupped the front of Bernadette's breasts and squeezed.
Bernadette raised a hand to slap her assailant. "DID YOU JUST HONK MY BOOBS?"
While Penny shoved Trailer Park out of her face she had witnessed the attack on Bernadette.
At 12:17 a.m. Nebraska invaded Wilshire Blvd.
She lunged for the woman, grabbed a handful of hair and pulled her away before Bernadette could connect the slap. Penny attempted to release the hair but the woman's nails dug into her hand. She dragged the screaming woman then had to give her a swift kick in the stomach to force her to let go.
Bernadette, Howard and Penny watched as she landed face first on the carpet. They stood frozen, terror-struck, and ignorant that the crowd was chanting 'girl fight'. The woman tried to get up but the smell of the carpet made her hurl.
Amy was dragging a queasy Sheldon away from the blood towards the front door. She wanted to get him outside for some air. She was stopped abruptly when she crashed into Penny's back.
Two men entering the bar pointed at Sheldon "That's him! That's the guy that had us thrown out!" Sheldon yelped.
From his vantage point Raj had witnessed everything. His third world and immigrant instincts kicked in so he knew it was time to flee but coming from wealth he didn't grasp that stealth was a non-negotiable.
"RUN BITCHES!" he screamed.
People scattered. Wayne grabbed Raj's shoulder and said "This way". Raj yelled for Howard to grab Bernadette and follow. Penny grabbed Amy and she pulled Sheldon by his jacket. Tables were knocked over as bodies bulldozed and jostled towards the front doors. Sirens could be heard in the distance.
Wayne had led them to the bathroom hallway then through to an old unmarked exit door that led to a side alley. "Here you go. They were supposed to close up this old exit but they haven't done it, good luck." Then he took off running.
Howard was out of breath and walking in circles like he needed to pee. "Let's get to the cars."
Penny shook her head, "No, those guys that are after Sheldon might be there."
The sound of sirens of people and was getting closer so Raj begged. "Let's just run for it guys."
Bernadette pointed to the gravel road they stood on and her high heels. "I can't."
Sheldon turned to Amy and pointed at her shoes "Are you okay?"
"Yes"
Handing the trophies he was still carrying to Howard he said, "take these."
He bent over grabbed Bernadette behind the knees and flopped her over his shoulder.
"Which way?"
Penny pointed in the direction opposite the pandemonium. She ran and the rest followed.
-o-o-
A/N: Shamy-crack!
Did I go AU?—damn! Did I make a rookie mistake with such a long chapter tilting the balance of my story? – damn! Do I envy my favorite writers on this site that can convey a wonderful story fluidly and succinctly (+grammar perfect)? – yes! Did I put in shout-outs and Easter-eggs for some of my readers? – yes! Do I play pool/billiards? – no, but I have touched a stick a few times. Is my brain too cinematic to make any sense on paper? – blame the Shamy-crack!
Do I appreciate that you've read this far? – ABSOLUTELY!
Happy Vapo-rub-dreams peeps!
p.s. I did cash in on a long-shot once and Amy's jacket which I must have! go to: etsy store: customdesignmaster