7.

(Remus's thoughts)

Remus wandered alone down the halls of Hogwarts, carrying only his wand as he thought and tried to delay the moment when he would have to go back to the dorm and once again be around Peter. His arms wrapped tightly around himself to stay warm and try to contain the pain that tore through his body, the burning agony that never let up and instead got stronger. He wandered the halls, not knowing where he was going and unaware of his surroundings as he thought, his thoughts and feelings swirling around inside his head.

Can you hear me?

No, no one can for I can no longer speak. I cannot do anything to make it stop, this is the price that I must pay in order to keep my secret and keep attending Hogwarts to learn magic. It doesn't matter that it hurts and my nightmares are of him; I am a monster, I am a freak, a disgusting and filthy half-breed and I deserve all that comes to me…even if he uses silver as he has so many times in my nightmares I am grateful that he hasn't used it yet in the waking world, the world in which reality lies.

I will not let what I am going through damage my efforts in school; I am continuing to be in the top of my classes even though I do his homework as well as my own.

I am so hungry, yet I can only eat what and when he allows me to, it isn't nearly enough and I can feel myself withering away even as the feeling of burning gets stronger; sometimes it is all I can do to force myself to move, it hurts so much and there is never any relief.

I have seen Lily and Severus watching me even more than before they tried to talk to me, I feel so horrible about running away from them, yet they can't find out; I was and still am so afraid, so very afraid. I want so badly to be around them again…I can't tell them I am sorry but perhaps I can write it.

Remus turned to the right and made his way up to the Owlrey to write an apology and send it to Lily and Severus, perhaps they would forgive him.

It felt so nice to be around people who weren't trying or even wanting to hurt me, I haven't had that in a long time. Is it wrong for a werewolf to want to have friends and feel safe around normal people? Perhaps I shouldn't try to be their friend or be around them; would they still want to be around me if they knew what I am? Of course they wouldn't, no one would want to be friends with someone like me, the others have already proven that. However I won't push them away from me on the slim chance that they do want to be my friends, if they do want to be then I will treasure their company and friendship, treasure every moment I am able to spend with them.

As he stared out the window after the two owls that carried his apology, he gazed up at the sky and realized something that he hadn't actually thought much about.

I only have a week and a half before the next full moon…I dread this moon so much more than the previous ones, as they know now and he will know exactly where I am as well as what I am; what will he do to me after the moon and I return to the dorm? What will Madam Pomfrey say when she notices how I look even before the moon, what am I supposed to do to not arouse suspicion? Maybe this moon won't be so bad and I won't have to stay in the hospital wing very long, maybe she won't ask me any questions and it will be alright.

Remus slid down to the floor, his back to the wall and his arms wrapped around himself. He sat in the corner that was farthest away from the door and the deepest in shadow. Anyone who ventured up here would be unable to see him and he would be safe for the time being.

James and Sirius don't hurt me, but they don't try to stop him either they are hardly ever there and when they are then they are only there long enough to grab their stuff and then leave, never looking back or even looking at me; but what do I expect them to do? Help me and stop him or perhaps join in with his games…I don't know anymore. Who could the person be who sent the note, there hasn't been another one and yet it has given me hope to know that someone wants to help and put a stop to this. Although I don't see why, he would still know and he would probably tell the minute that I was given the help. Why would anyone bother helping a monster?

Remus gazed up at the moon and realized that he had been there for hours; he got to his feet rather unsteadily and left the Owlrey. Moving as quickly as he could he made his way down the stairs from the tower and back down the many hallways towards the Gryffindor tower and towards another "game" invented by Peter. He made his way up the stairs to his room, tripping as he entered and crashing to the floor; instantly curling up and moving his arms over his head as Peter strode over and began kicking him until he grew bored. Remus didn't move until Peter's book bag hit him in the back as it was thrown across the room, carefully he sat up and took out the books and parchment in order to do Peter's homework. He winced as he felt a few of his ribs move, knowing they were cracked if not broken; he kept his head down as he was tossed a roll and set to work making sure that Peter passed his classes. He swallowed the blood in his mouth and tore into the roll, nearly eating it whole and ignoring the feeling of the burning intensifying, he had to keep working, he couldn't stop until it was finished…he couldn't stop even though he was in constant agony and he was told every five or so minutes that he was disgusting and a monster. Remus didn't know how things he had heard over and over could still hurt so much as they were spat at him from across the room by his former friend.

Thank you for reading, I do hope that you are enjoying the story so far. Please R&R.