First of all, I'm gonna come right out and say that I blame school for my laziness. It sucks out all of my creativity and my will to write and it's like the fifth circle of Hell in that it never, EVER eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenndddddsss! Okay, I'm exaggerating but that's what it feels like.

Okay, moving on. It's been so long since I've written a one shot that's NOT a request that I thought I would do so now. I mean, it's not like I'm having writer's block or anything...eheheheh. So, without further ado, I give you a chapter filled with perverts!

Song: Let Me Be Good To You

Switzerland pounded on America's door for the third time that minute and shuffled anxiously. There was a shout of, "OI, GO OPEN YOUR DOOR, BURRO!" from inside. The doorknob turned a few seconds later, and a sleepy-eyed America appeared in the doorway.

He yawned and rubbed at his eyes before asking, "Hey, Switzy, waddaya doin' here so early?"

Switzerland rolled his eyes. Five in the morning was NOT early. "When I woke up this morning, Liechtenstein was gone and on her nightstand was a note from Hungary. It said that she would be taking care of Lili for the day but, knowing Hungary, I got worried. I looked for them and my big brother sense lead me here."

The other nation nodded, "Yeah, Hungary showed up at my doorstep at three in the morning with your sis and a bunch of other girls. Mexico, Belarus, Ukraine, Seychelles... Anyway, they've been watching movies the whole time. Hey, is your big brother sense like Peter Parker's Spider Sense?"

"What? No! Why would... never mind. What have they been watching?" Switzerland demanded.

America scratched his cheek thoughtfully, "It's kinda weird, they're just picking movies at random. Right now they're watching Labyrinth."

"...That's it?" Switzerland frowned as America nodded. "Are you absolutely sure?" Another nod.

"Oh...well then...If it's just a...girl's night out kind of thing, I'll be going...yeah..." The poor nation awkwardly backed away and headed for his car, thoroughly perplexed by the complexities of the female species in general. America waved goodbye and quietly closed the door. Time to go back to bed, he thought, repressing another yawn. A loud set of squeals made him jump and his head swung around to look at the living room.

"Do you see that?! DO YOU SEE THAT?!" he heard Seychelles scream. Another collective "SQEEEEEEEEEEEE~!" followed and he plugged his ears. Tch, girls.

None of the girls crammed together on the couch paid any mind to America as he slowly climbed the stairs to his room. Their attention was diverted by something more...stimulating. "Thank the gods for tight pantalones," Mexico whispered, slowly peeling a banana as she watched the Goblin King sing "As the World Falls Down".

"David Bowie is attractive, yes?" Belarus commented. She was the only one able to control her emotions, though sooner or later she would surely break.

Liechtenstein tugged at Hungary's sleeve. "Miss Hungary, what is...I mean, right there, between..." She pointed to the screen and fell silent. Hungary patted her head with one hand while using the other to hold a towel to her bleeding nose. "I'll explain later, dear. Just enjoy it for now~!"

Okay, this one won't make sense unless you've seen Labyrinth. Let's just say that there are parts of it (All of David Bowie's scenes to be exact) that definitely appeal to the female demographic...

People might think that the BTT were perverted, crazy hooligans with no regard to propriety and/or civility. For the most part that was true, and they were shameless about it. But, there were times when they would do something normal friends would do, like have brunch at one of their houses for instance. Such was the case today. As the three sat around Spain's table, France sipped at some coffee and wriggled his eyebrows. "So, who was wizh you last night?"

Prussia looked up curiously while Spain just looked confused.

"Qué?"

"Don't lie now! I saw three cars parked outside when I got 'ere. One is yours, anozher is Prussia's and the third...?"

The Spaniard's eyes lit up in understanding and he nodded, "Oh, si. Mexico's staying here for a few days."

"Ksesesese! Und vhy vould zhat be?" Prussia smirked, exchanging looks with France.

Spain shrugged nonchalantly, "She wanted to visit Romano and asked if she could stay." He let out a sigh and smiled, "It's so cute, she still calls him Tio Romano from when they were both so little~!"

"Oh? And what does she call you, mon ami?" France asked curiously.

Spain's face fell and Prussia cackled. "I can zhink of a few names!" His expression softened at the dejected look on his friend's face and he patted his back. "Er, don't take it personally, Spanien. She just hates you for political reasons, ja?"

Spain hid his face in the crook of his arm.

France tsked. "You're tact leaves much to be desired."

"Shut up, french fry!"

"How dare you!"

A smile tugged at the corners of Spain's mouth and he spoke up, "Hey amigos, can I ask you something?" France let go of Prussia's shirt and in turn Prussia released his grip on France's neck. They both nodded and he continued, "Do you think... there's something of me inside Mexico? I mean-" he hurried to explain himself, "-I don't mean the country, I mean her. Mexico...Maria, as a person. Do you think there's something of me that you can see in her? I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense, am I?"

A devious smile crossed Prussia's face, "Well, zhe only way you could be inside her is if you-"

A loud bang from upstairs and muffled curses cut him off and they all looked at the ceiling. Spain hurried to the foot of the stairs, "Are you alright, Mexico?"

"Yes! I'm fine!" she shouted back. Mexico appeared at the top of the stairs then, tugging at her jeans and frowning. "These stupid jeans shrunk in the wash. I tripped trying to get them on!" She struggled down the stairs, trying to zip up the pants. Once at the bottom she turned slightly, revealing the too tight garment and her... shapely derriere.

"Ohonononon! Ce cul!" France chuckled, his eyes glued on Mexico.

"I can definitely see somezhing of Spain vhen I look at Mexico," Prussia muttered.

In Mexican society (well, my family at least) it's good for women to have nice nalgas (that means 'rear end' for you non-Spanish speakers). I was thinking about that and thought, "How did that start? Where did that cultural custom come from?" My theory is it started with Spain. XD Anyway, I hoped you liked this and a special shout out to Epic F. Awesomesauce for betaing this! :D

Editor's Note: This is fantabulous.

Wait...she's my editor now? ._.