Santana's P.O.V.
It's been an entire month now since I got dumped and went back home. I can't say that a lot has changed. I still have this gaping hole in my heart where Quinn used to be but...I don't think about it as much but I do from time to time, like last night. I'd gone out with everyone, we went to this bar and I was talking to the girl. We were dancing and everything was going good but then she told me her name. Normally I probably wouldn't have misheard her but with the loud music it sounded like she said Quinn though she said Gwen. I froze at first then asked her to repeat herself but even though I heard her the second time, the emotion evoked from thinking I heard Quinn's name...it was a feeling I just couldn't shake and I just had to leave. I didn't get far before Rachel caught up with me and I ended up breaking down in tears in her arms. Not one of my finer moments but shit happens.
Today has been a lot better. I've been out helping my uncle out at his garage today as a good distraction and it's been helping. Now I'm cleaning the rims on my motorcycle. Today has been pretty busy but there's not much I can do right now so I decided to do a little of my own maintenance. My bike is the only love I have in my life right now.
"Do you actually find joy in this?" Rachel says from her lawn chair she set up inside of the garage.
"Taking care of my baby? Of course." I say and continue cleaning the rims of the front wheel.
"I meant working on cars. You get all sweaty and greasy and just dirty. It's not attractive." She says and I roll my eyes.
"No one tries to be attractive when they're in a garage."
"Why not? I'd think if people were more attractive, customers would be more inclined to choose this garage than another." She says and I roll my eyes.
"Only you would be that shallow." I say and she scoffs.
"So if six beautiful half naked women offered to wash your car and six not so attractive women wanted to wash your car, which would you choose?" She asks.
"Whoever is cheaper and can get the job done." Rachel rolls her eyes and smirk.
"Being more or less attractive has nothing to do with fixing a car. If the person knows what they're doing and doesn't charge ridiculous prices then customers are fucking guaranteed to come. You just want some hunky shirtless guy walking around so that when you come with me you can drool all over him."
"That is not true. I'd like to see a girl too." She says and I shake my head.
"And you say I'm a pig."
"You are, nothings changed." I roll my eyes and rinse the soap off the rim.
"Aren't you going to talk to that girl from yesterday? She was cute and into you." I say and Rachel shrugs.
"I'm not even sure I want to date anyone right now."
"Why not?" I ask.
"I guess...I want to find something real. I want someone who will actually love me and be there in the long run. I don't think anyone I've talked to is willing to venture into that with me."
"But how do you really know? I mean you gotta take a chance on people or you'll never know."
"But I doubt I just met the love of my life in a club last night." She says and I shrug.
"For all you know, you might have. Call her or text her or something." I tell her as I start on the back rim.
"I think I'm going to just hold off on that. If she's really interested she'll try to talk to me right?" She says and I nod.
"I kind of thought you had a crush on B." I say and Rachel furrows her eyebrows at me.
"Why would you think that?"
"Well you guys got close and it's not like she isn't hot." Rachel nods.
"Yes but I couldn't try anything now."
"Why not?" I ask.
"Just couldn't. Isn't she supposed to be visiting soon?" Rachel asks and I nod my head.
"It's getting cold there so she said she'd be here in like the next few weeks."
"Good. Do you two ever talk about...her?" Rachel asks and I shake my head.
"No, why?"
"I just...I've talked to Brittany too and...I figured you two would have talked about...her."
"You can say Quinn. It's not like she's Voldemort." I say with a roll of my eyes.
"Fine. You should ask Brittany how Quinn is."
"Why? Do you know something that I don't?" I stand up from my position on the ground and look at Rachel.
"I don't know. Do you know something that you think I know but I really don't know but you might know what you think I know but I may or may not really know?" Wha...What?
"What the fuck are you talking about?! Do you know something or not Rachel?"
"I don't know what it is you think I may or may not know but I may or may not know anything about anything." I glare at her and she looks around the garage.
"Stop the fucking games and quit fucking confusing me. What the fuck is going on?"
"Just call Brittany and ask how Quinn is. That's all you have to do." She says and I roll my eyes.
"Don't think because you're my best friend I won't kick your ass right now." Rachel scoffs.
"Like you could. I'm serious though Santana. Call her." Rachel says and I sigh and shake my head. I pull my phone out of my pocket and it starts to ring. It's Quinn's number. My heart speeds up as I look at the number and I have to pull myself from my shock to answer the phone.
"He-He-Hello?" I answer.
"Hey Santana." I hear Brittany say. My heart sinks at hearing her voice but my heart rate slows.
"Hey B. Why are you calling me from Quinn's phone?" I ask.
"She told me to call you so I grabbed her phone."
"Uh...Okay. So what's up?"
"I have to tell you something. I was supposed to have told you when I accidentally told Rachel but I forgot." What?
"Accidentally told Rachel what?" I ask.
"You and Quinn are having a baby!" She squeals excitedly. Holy...I think I'm going to faint. Is this what fainting feels like? I can't breath and I feel dizzy. She's pregnant?! With my...
"Santana?" I hear Rachel say and I look at her.
"Just breathe okay? Breathe." She says as she comes to my side. She wraps her arm around my waist and steadies me. Breathe. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out.
"Hello?" I hear Brittany say and I inhale deeply before responding.
"Yeah, I'm here."
"Good."
"How far along is she?" I ask.
"Um...a month." A month? She got pregnant right before I left. A kid...I'm having a kid? I'm having a kid. I...what? This is like...I don't even know how to react to this.
"Why didn't Quin tell me about this? Is she keeping it?" I ask.
"Uh...she says she still doesn't want anything to do with you and yes."
"We're having a baby, am I just not allowed to see it?" I ask. This time I hear Quinn in the background but I can't make out what she's saying.
"She said right now she's not sure how to work this out...but you can see the baby." Brittany says and I roll my eyes.
"Tell Quinn to grow the fuck up and talk to me like a human being. We're having a fucking kid, be an adult about the situation." I say and I hear silence for a while before Brittany says.
"She walked out. You don't say stuff like that to a pregnant lady." Brittany says and I sigh.
"She walked out because she knows I'm right. This is beyond childish. We're having a kid and she needs to stop being immature. I'll be damned if she doesn't let me be a parent to my kid." I say.
"San it's not like that. She's still hurting and she's still just trying to figure things out."
"Fine...it's not like I can really do anything anyway. Can you do me a favor B?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Take care of her please? I know it's asking a lot but I don't really have a choice but ask."
"Of course San. I'll be here for both of you guys and the baby. I'll keep you posted on everything that happens too okay?"
"Yeah, thanks B."
"No problem. I should go check on Quinn so I'll talk to you later." She says.
"Okay, bye." I say then hang up the phone. I don't know if this situation has made things better or worse between Quinn and I. She can keep that baby away from me if she really wanted to. She could just have me thrown in jail for plotting to murder her and her father. I'm not entirely sure she wouldn't go to to the police and I can't risk that. I can't call to talk to her but...some part of her has to be forgiving me if she wanted to tell me she was pregnant right? She can't really hate me or she probably wouldn't even go through with having my kid. At some point, something's gotta give right? I'm just hoping this is one step forward and not two steps back. I grip my phone in my hand then turn my head towards Rachel.
"You knew I had a fucking baby on the way?!" I say angrily and she moves away from me.
"Don't be mad. I wasn't supposed to know and I would have told you but Britt said don't tell you and she was supposed to tell you the same day I found out, so don't be angry, be glad you know and let's celebrate you having a kid." She ends with a smile.
"I don't even know if I'm happy." I say and Rachel looks at me curiously.
"Well...I know the situation between you and Quinn isn't an ideal one but...you two are bringing a little person into the world. If that doesn't bring two people together, what does?"
"Having a baby doesn't fix problems. It creates more problems because now you're forever tied to this person you had the kid with. I know she doesn't want that."
"If she didn't then she wouldn't have told Brittany to tell you. She wanted you to know that you're going to have a kid in this world."
"Yeah, for the kids sake. She probably wants it to have both parents."
"And parents are usually together right?" Rachel says with a smile and I roll my eyes.
"No, have you looked at the current divorce rate?" I ask and she rolls her eyes.
"Santana this is your chance to fix things with her. You can't change that you're having a kid and if you want her back, this is the way in." Rachel says and I shake my head.
"We'll see."
"Okay, now I can't wait to see my god kid! I bet he or she will be so cute!" She says excitedly and hugs me.
"Congratulations!" She says as she squeezes me tighter and I turn my head to hide a smile then shake my head.
"Thanks."
"Time to tell Tio he has a great nephew or niece on the way!" Rachel pulls my hand in the direction of my uncle's office and I shake my head.
I never saw myself being a mom...like ever. I mean I like kids but I never saw them being something I'd have. I don't know the first thing about being a parent. What if I fuck up the kid? Or lose it? What if it grows up and hates my guts? I could lose the kid right along with Quinn. Maybe I'm just being paranoid? I don't know. All I know is that I will be there for my kid no matter what Quinn, Judy, Russell or Francine have to say about it. I won't allow anyone to keep me away from it.