0011, Mountains, Nibel Area
"When she woke up, Ciara told me wha' was wrong wit ther. I don' know why she trusted me w'it the knowledge, but she did. She 'plained everythang. How she was connected to the planet, how she could see the future, and how she had some sort o' destiny waitin' fer her. She even tol' me what she was. I didn't think ta question it. An' I never tol' Sephiroth. Something in me tol' me that I shouldn't tell him about her. Maybe if I had, he wouldn' have fallen. Maybe he would 'ave recognized the truth of that monster in Nibelheim. I jus' don' know. But I made it my mission to keep Ciara safe after I learned what fate she had waitin' fer her. Fer months, I took care o' 'er in'tween caring for the new recruits. An' when the Gongaga boy started meeting wit the girl at the church Ciara made bloom wit flowers years later, I kept the resemblance between them secret too. An' with my silence, protected her as well. At da time, it was all I tho't I could do. She reminded me of Ciara and I wanted ta protect her like I failed to protect Ciara. All I ever did was hide the knowledge I 'ad when I proberly should 'ave shared it. But my lamentations now mean nothin', since what Ciara feared came 'bout anyway, despite her 'ttempt ta stop it." Cid finished reading his stack of papers and looked up. The group was still sitting in front of the falling down shack, eyes intent as they all listened to what was being told them. The sun was moving lower in the sky but none of the people listening seemed to care that night was falling.
Reeve and Cid moved off to gather firewood, understanding the unspoken agreement that the party was going to camp in the valley until they debunked the mystery Angeal's notes had left them with. And somehow, they knew not to disturb the dilapidated house; something about the rotting structure warned them away from trying to steal warmth with its wood. Barrett sighed and stretched his gun arm over his head.
"I don't get it. This Ciara girl went to find SOLDIERs to get help, but ain't they the ones who would become the baddies eventually? Wasn't it the SOLDIERs who had Jenova cells implanted in them?" He asked, a look of confusion dancing across his broad, brown face. Tifa, leaning against the silent, brooding Cloud, sighed.
"Nobody knew that back then, Barrett. We only discovered that stuff when we started digging into the files at the Nibelheim Mansion. Besides, she needed people who wouldn't be afraid of her abilities. SOLDIERs are pretty much not afraid of anything." She said, resting her head on the blond man's shoulder. He nodded his agreement but didn't speak. The brief mention of the boy from Gongaga in this section of memories had probably shaken him, so she didn't press him to speak.
Yuffie sat up from stretching on the ground and jumped to her feet, leaping all over the clearing as she tried to keep her limbs from falling asleep. "Yeah, sure, but this girl... she's like her but her abilities seem to be on a completely different level than hers were; even he said he saw a resemblance between them if that little thingy at the end is referring to the church where she got her flowers from. If that is so, how come all this bad stuff still happened?" She asked, landing near Vincent, who reached out and smoothed her hair down absently.
"It might have happened in spite of her efforts, as Angeal claims." He said shortly, handing the next paper stack to the spunky ninja girl. She pouted, then plopped down on the ground at his feet and started shuffling the pages around. "We won't know until we read more." She crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at the tall man.
"Whatever. Alright, let's see... 'As I mentioned previously, during that time, I was busy with the training of the new SOLDIER recruits so I didn't really get to see Ciara that much, though I made sure she had everything she could possibly need. After what happened to her in the maintenance vents, though, I was worried that she was sick, an illness reflecting the state of the planet, and that she might die. Sephiroth had gone silent on his mission, not that I would have told him she was ill for fear of distracting him. And his not being around seemed to sadden Ciara, so I tried not to bring him up on the rare occasions I got to sneak away and check up on her. He came back a few weeks before fall fell, and it was his return that really started all the problems that led to his eventual downfall. I don't know if I could have stopped it then or not, though. Perhaps, but then... I don't think it would have made any difference at all... And who had a right to stop such a beautiful thing from forming anyway? The bond created, though, was the eventual chink in his armor which allowed that darkness to rise inside him...'"
1998, Midgar, October
I don't know how much money Shin Ra pays its employees, but Sephiroth was most likely rolling in the dough. His house was nice. Ever since the day Angeal snuck me here through the maintenance tunnel, I've spent most of my time inside. It's beautiful, and his nice tastes really show here. Everything is elegant. Some of his artifacts from his travel are hanging on the walls or displayed on his shelves. I have even found some of the gifts I've sent him displayed, like the fossilized rock I found that looked like him. His furniture is rough and masculine, bare woods and dark leathers. And books. He has so many books around that I sometimes find myself wondering what type of man he would have been if he wasn't a SOLDIER. I've always known that Sephiroth is smart; his dry wit and humor allude to that, and his amazing strategizing on the battlefield were legendary. But his intelligence goes beyond that. He's got books on poems, plays, great epics, and not so well known literary marvels. He has science reports on the various ancient cultures of Gaia, some that disturb me for their accuracy, penned by a man named Gast, like he had spoken to someone who listened to the planet.
And those were just the books that I read. He had so many that though I tried to read one every day, I never ran out of material. I spent the majority of my days on the first floor of his house, where a guest bedroom, bathroom, the kitchen and the living room were located. Angeal had shown me the entire house before he left after making certain I was alright that first day, including the upstairs, but since the second story was Sephiroth's personal living space, I felt... awkward about intruding. I hadn't even set foot in his bedroom when Angeal showed me where it was. It just.. .wasn't right. Hence, I limited myself to the first floor. Everything I needed to be comfortable was there anyway so I really had no reason to go upstairs. And whenever Angeal came over, which was rare or just to make sure I was still alive before heading out to train his minions, he never asked if I had gone up stairs or not. I don't even think he thought that I was living on the first story only.
So I was curled up on the big black leather couch in the first floor living room, wrapped in a soft white blanket that smelled like Sephiroth (not that I made it a habit of sniffing the guy) when the front door banged open. Since no one, and I mean no one, had ever used the front door (Angeal and I snuck in through the back door, which was were the tunnel let out), I was frozen in my seat, plain shocked into inaction. But when my eyes adjusted to the sudden influx of light, I recognized the tall, wiry form weaving in the doorway.
"Sephiroth!" I gasped, jumping up and making to go towards him. He lifted his head sharply, his cat like eyes pinning me where I stood. He shook his head and straightened his spine, turning to look behind him. He shifted his body to block the view of the doorway, broad shoulders and the leather clothes providing an effective wall. What was he...?
"Veld, I'm fine; it was just a bullet wound, and I can take care of it myself. Go report; you were the assigned head of this mission, not me, and the President is waiting." He spoke coldly, but the chill that suddenly overtook me had nothing to do with the frost flowing from his mouth. Someone from Shin Ra, someone he obviously didn't trust, was standing outside his house, behind him. I was standing in the doorway of his living room. If that person came inside, I would be seen. There wasn't anywhere for me to go.
A heavy silence filled the space around Sephiroth, then a suave, suspicious voice spoke. "I guess that was my assigned position, though from the way everyone was looking to you for orders I must have forgotten that." Snarky. "When did you get his house, Sephiroth? I thought you lived in the SOLDIER dorms like all other Shin Ra personnel. Or is it an expenditure for... personal pleasure?" Oh the suspicion and hatred in that voice... I drew in my lip and started gnawing on it. Sephiroth didn't even flinch.
"I am the President's bodyguard and get sent on more mission of top secrecy than even you Turks. I am entitled to a personal residence, for when I want to escape military life. Despite what you and the other Turks seem to think, I do enjoy my quiet time. I also ran out of room for my books in my HQ dorm. Good night." Sephiroth slammed the door and stomped inside, easily bending and scooping me up in his arms and he walked quickly up the stairs.
My breath flew out of me. My cheek was pressed against the leather on his shoulder, and even through the thick material, I could feel the shifting of his muscles and the heat of his skin. And his silver hair fell over his shoulder to curtain me in a soft veil filled with his wild, untamable scent. My cheeks heated up, and I glanced down. Only then did I notice the bleeding circular hole in the idiots disturbingly chiseled chest. My hands flew up to the wound and I gaped at him.
"Sephiroth put me -" One sharp look from him had the exclaimed words dying in my throat. Reaching the door to his room, he kicked it open and stormed in, letting me fall onto the bed while he stalked over to the window and opened it, leaning out.
"Veld, call your Turk spies off or I will kill them for annoying me." He shouted, voice not betraying an iotum of pain despite what I could feel in his aura. Someone swore outside and then I saw a flash of red as a person came out of hiding in the tall tree in the next door neighbors yard, and walked away. Sephiroth closed the window and drew the black curtains, plunging the room into shadow. Moving in a stiff motion quite unlike his normal fluidity, he turned on a muted lamp that added a soft glow to the space. When he faced me again, I bit my lip and hesitated, but he knew. He always knows. "Don't worry. The house wasn't under surveillance the whole time. Just the past hour. Veld doesn't trust me, but he isn't rash or illogical either."
As he spoke, Sephiroth was unbuckling the pauldrons from his shoulders and pulling the heavy leather material he wore like a trench coat under them off, leaving his upper chest mostly bare. The gloves were yanked off next, but when he reached around to try to unbuckle the two crossing suspenders holding the stomach protector up, he winced and stopped mid motion as blood ran in a fresh river down his chest. I jumped up and shoved his arms down, face burning red and entire body trembling as my ghosting fingers finally made contact with him skin on skin.
I drew away for a second, then bent over, fumbling with the straps and trying to keep the amount of contact between my skin and his to a minimum. It was hot, searing me, almost like the contact between us created a fire. I flicked my gaze up quickly to see if he felt the untamable reaction between us. He was watching me carefully, eyes carefully blank. I take that as, yes, he is aware of the trembling of my skin and the tautness of his own body. My body screamed finally finally as my fingers ghosted over his surprisingly smooth skin, trying to ignore the sculpted muscles sliding smoothly under his flesh and twitching each time my fingers slipped off the leather material and brushed against him. I guess he isn't used to physical contact much at all, since he constantly covers his entire body in leather. As I hurried to free him from his armor and clothes, I couldn't help but run my eyes over his body. The guy was startlingly built despite his unearthly and almost feline beauty. Shaking my head, I forcibly dragged my mind away from his overwhelming physicality and tried to focus on the task at hand.
I tossed the reinforced metal aside once the suspenders were free, leaving Sephiroth in just his pants and boots. The bullet wound was large and inflamed, looking nasty as it wept red just under his left pectoral muscle. It was dangerously close to his heart and might have punctured a lung. Even though I'm not doctor, I could tell this was a serious injury, one that should have been treated and tended as soon as possible. But the edges of the wound were furled and puckered, and dried blood was caked to his skin. These signs were clear in their message. He hadn't gotten treated. Why? Shin Ra would not risk losing Sephiroth, not when his power and skills were so vital to their continued domination. I sucked in a pained breath and glanced up at him. His eyes were focused on me, unblinking in their intensity.
"Why hasn't this been treated, Sephiroth?" I asked softly, clenching my hands in the strands of hair that fell down his back to keep my hands from tracing his muscles. The desire to do so was pounding against my skull and threatening to overwhelm me, so I tightened my hold on his hair, thanking him silently for being such a girl about his flowing locks for once, since it was the only thing keeping me from petting this untouchable man.
"Since I was saved by you in Wutai, I have never let another medic or scientists close to me, and tended all my wounds myself, and other than the required physical every two years, never go to the labs. I... what you did, I think it left traces in my body, and if I reflect abnormalities, Hojo will be fanatical about finding their source. So I handle these myself, and I will treat this one myself as well, if you would get my materia for me." He said it so emotionlessly that for a second, I didn't understand. He pulled my hands free of his hair and then dropped them, clearly unable to move his arms much because of the pain of his wound. That he had carried me early probably wasn't helping. Then his words clicked and as the tears built up in my eyes, I gently shoved him down on to the bed, so he was sitting and no longer towering over me. He had protected me at the cost of his own suffering. My heart squeezed painfully when I looked into his eyes again, emotions welling dangerously high inside me.
Without thinking, I straddled his lap and pressed my palm against the wound. Sephiroth did not know the full extent of my powers and abilities. In truth, they've grown to terrifying levels in the past three years. I no longer need a materia to heal someone who could handle my type of power, which should not be possible for a normal human. Then again... I met his beautiful cat-green eyes. Neither one of us is exactly human, I don't think. Without warning him, without even speaking, I unleashed the full power of my healing ability. Lifestream flared up around me in twirls and orbs of light, and I directed it into his body through my hands, slapping my other hand to his side so I would be able to make a circular, healthy flow of lifestream to deal with the blood loss. His back stiffened as the shock of the power entering the body isn't easy, but I leaned against him, holding him still with my weight on his legs and pressing against his chest. My eyes slid halfway closed as the power rose within me. In my mind I could map out the damage and direct the energy to repairing it. Really I was only using the bodies healing ability to heal and speeding up and improving that natural process.
Since he is a SOLDIER and genetically altered, the natural recuperative powers of his body are already abnormally high, so I'm just accelerating them even more. Something about his abilities was actually off, but I didn't have the luxury of focusing on too many things at once so I brushed my concerns to the side and just utilized his weirdness to promote his recovery. While healing him, I sought out the so called "abnormalities" that had resulted from my first healing. He was right; traces of my power still lingered in him, probably because I had been so emotionally unstable and untrained when I treated him. I used my current strength to burn those traces away, cleansing his body of any residue of my gift. But how had he been able to tell my power was still in him? The trace energy wasn't strong enough to carry my unique power signature and so should be read like any natural flow of lifestream that all people on Gaia have inside; nothing about it should have alerted him to it being different.
Sephiroth suddenly grabbed my wrists, the strength in his hands bruising and the pain causing me to break out of the healing trace I was halfway in. I jerked my head up. His eyes were sharp and piercing, but I could see the pain in them. This healing should not be hurting him. The power of the planet is not corrosive to her children. Was he hurt somewhere else? "What's wrong?" I whispered, not drawing my hands away from his chest. I couldn't; I was still knitting together torn blood vessels and mangled flesh. To stop now would be dangerous.
"Burns." He whispered, the word curt and cut off. At my confused look, he clarified. "This healing... it burns." He nodded his head to the Lifestream dancing around us. That... wasn't possible. Even with my weird abilities and his genetically manipulated body, that just wasn't possible. The body is made up of lifestream and welcomes it. Even though his contains high levels of mako, which is just super distilled and refined lifestream, his body should be absorbing my power, not fighting it, and definitely not burning. The only thing I have knowledge of which denies the lifestream is the corruption of the Calamity but there is no way for that dark power to -
'Those foolish mortals on the surface have helped me so much by implanting me inside the body of one who is strong...' The words of the evil voice which had spoken to me from the heart of the planet echoed painfully in my mind. My heart thudded against my breast as horror grew inside me. No! Closing my eyes fully, I sent my spirit along with the lifestream flowing into Sephiroth's body, a skill I had never used on someone connected to Shin Ra before. With this amount of immersion, I was able to see how his body was actually fighting my healing. Looking closer, it became clear.
His wrongness, that darkness I always sensed, the corrupt lifestream that covered Sephiroth's sword when he summoned it, came not from the weapons of Shin Ra and not from his actions as a SOLDIER, but from himself. His body was littered with it. The mako pumping through his veins was dark and deadly, not the stuff one usually found in a reactor. His cells, down to the deepest level, were bonded with a corruption so vile that even my light could not get near it. When I tried, I heard only dark laughter and a violent thirst for destruction which repelled me. This darkness was taking him over from the inside out, an insidious evil he had no chance of fighting. 'Destroy the vessel' The ancestors had spoken those words. The vessel... for the rebirth of the Calamity... was it truly him? It couldn't be. I refuse to believe it. I needed to look at Angeal and Genesis at this level as well. Surely this was just the travesty that Shin Ra did to make SOLDIERs. Sephiroth wasn't the one I was... I couldn't finish the thought. Being surrounded by the corruption inside his body was starting to cause me pain. I had to leave.
Soul shivering, I retreated back my body and silently finished the healing, tears streaming down my face constantly. Sephiroth's body was tense the entire time, the pain I was causing probably equal to if not more than the pain of the original injury, though he didn't try to stop me or make a sound. Seeing it pained me, as it was more proof I didn't want to face. To be so sensitive to my purity... he has to have been exposed to that darkness since conception, and repeatedly infused with dark mako to make it grow. That he is still himself and so strong, so pure... is a testament to his strength and a painful vision of the man he could have been if not for fate. I wept harder as I healed him, biting back sobs as my power, which was the embodiment of this planet's life, was also a power which, if his darkness continued to grow, could ultimately destroy him.
Once the hole in his chest was sealed and all danger to his life, at present, handled, I drew my palms away from his skin and went to get off of him, weary and saddened in a way I had not been since my village's slaughter. This was too much for me to handle right now. I need time, to gather my thoughts and pray. I need to talk to my ancestors again and find out the truth so I can prepare myself for it, to be ready. To be able to face him and my destiny. I need to call Angeal and get him to allow me to study SOLDIER bodies so I can discern the truth. Except, Sephiroth refused to release me. His hands tightened around my arms, and I lifted my head, staring into his face.
"Why do you weep?" He asked, true concern flickering across his eyes. In them I read compassion and loyalty, a faith in good and a desire to preserve peace, and also a naive innocence that was truly out of place in such a dangerously cold man. And behind them... I saw gleaming yellow, waiting, lurking, for a moment to destroy it all. The tears flowed faster. "Ciara?" His concern was palpable now, hands shifting from my arms to my hair. I jolted when his fingers dove into the heavy mass of gold I had tied into a tail with a ribbon. The empty matera he had gifted me with was nestled in the center of that bow. His fingers briefly touch it, but he quickly developed a soothing stroking pattern along the tail with his hands.
Unable to suppress it any longer, I latched onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck and digging my fingers into his hair as I buried my face against his throat. My tears splashed against his bare skin, but he said nothing, did nothing except stroke my hair as he waited for my tears to stop. But they wouldn't They just kept breaking out of me, along with deep, painful sobs and gasps for air. I clutched at him tighter. The harder I fought against the truth, the more clear it became to me, and the harder I cried.
How had I not seen this before? Even without the voice of the ancestors, it was patently obvious to anyone with a brain that Sephiroth was not like the other SOLDIERs, especially not like the only other two first class SOLDIERs in existence. For one thing, his eyes were not pure mako blue but a glowing, disturbingly eerie green. From records I have been finding scattered about his house, His skills have always been unparallelled, almost beyond superhuman, since his youth, before his dark mako infusion began at all. And his appearance was a marker of something different going on at the genetic level. No living being on Gaia had hair of silver. Even my people, who are directly connected to the very core of the planet, do not have silver hair. It is not natural to Gaia. I should have at least suspected... Why hadn't I? In all other areas of my life I am astute and far seeing, but only when it comes to him why am I so uncertain and confused? Why? Clinging to him, smelling his scent and feeling his warmth as he let me against his strong body, the answer came in the beating of my heart and the desperation in my hold.
I have unwittingly blinded myself. Ever since we saved each other six years ago, Sephiroth has become my crutch, someone I depend upon. I recognized all his unnatural qualities, but I justified them as him being one of the warriors chosen to help me fight the impending danger. I made him into an ally, when I should have been considering the possibility of his being the danger. Why did I do that? My duty is to the planet and she always allows for me to see clearly despite the conflict and darker emotions which exist in my human heart, by filling it with a pure love and - I gasped and froze suddenly.
'Remember to find love.' My mother's words came to me as my eyes widened and I loosened my choke hold on Sephiroth. Oh, no. Please, no no. I begged within my mind, but I knew it was useless. Love was a pure emotions, one that Minerva herself would not fight. If my sight was colored by love, even if wrong, she would allow it. Because the light of love could change even a destiny that seemed impossible to fight. But this... there was little hope for any change in the fate binding me now. Pain stabbed at me, breaking through my sobbing with the cold clarity of an inescapable fate. Sensing I was calming down a little, Sephiroth grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back from him a little, so he could see my face. I stared at him, the sharp angles and defined lines of his too-beautiful face, and the complexity of his soul reflecting to me in his eyes. And for the first time, I examined my heart, too. It was fragile, bruised and frightened, incredibly tentative, but... there nonetheless. Reaching up, I cupped my trembling hands around his face, leaving a hairs breadth of space between my skin and his so that I wasn't actually touching him but could feel his heat. His eyes widened and he was clearly uncomfortable with my unprecedented actions, but he did not pull away.
"Oh, Sephiroth..." I breathed, my pain choking me. If I was right... if he was the vessel - and I know it with a certainty born from this planet that I'm damnably right - then I would not be able to do what was being asked of me. I can't. Until the day I see these eyes become hers, I cannot do what the planet needs me to do. And my weakness was condemning him to a terrible fate. My destiny was set, and in setting it, I was damning him and leading myself down the path of failure. Those dark visions would become reality.
"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me..." My ragged whisper tore from my throat as my hands slipped free from his face, falling into my lap. I couldn't let him know. None of it. What his destiny is, mine... and definitely what is in my heart. I can never let him know. Why had I been given this terrible fate? Why? Knowing what my destiny is, I could accept that. I've been prepared for it since I was six and first entered the core of the planet, having my powers revealed to me. Though it was painful and terrible to know that, I was able to live with it because I knew Sephiroth would survive. But now... my hands curled. I can't destroy him. I just can't do that to a person I know is innocent of so much wrong. Whatever other sins he has committed, and I know there to be plenty of those, he has done nothing to deserve becoming Calamity's vessel.
His hands slid away from my arms and I slumped more, unable to support myself. The weight of this knowledge was going to crush me. Fingers hardened from years of wielding a sword to take lives lifted my chin.
"What are you apologizing for?" Sephiroth asked, studying my face intently. The intelligence in his eyes probed at me. He was smart; if I didn't play my cards right I could wound him to the very soul. He hates the monsters spawned by mako reactors, sees that part of his job as the one he thinks of as the most honorable and redeeming. To tell him about his own birth... that I could not do. I swallowed hard.
Protect him. I am going to protect him. It may be silly, to think of me keeping safe probably the most dangerous being in Gaia, but I would do it. Though the effort would probably cost me my soul and life in the end... I would do it. I will hide from him the pain of the past he knows nothing about and I will keep from him the truth of mine. To him I will offer what only I can give. Pure, unabashed, unadulterated love. I could feel the warmth of my mother glowing within me, and the resigned sighs of my other ancestors agreeing to my choice. Never has one of my people taken the easy road. We are a warrior race in our own right and will do anything and everything to protect both the planet and the people on it, no matter how flawed or worn they get. And I felt their agreement inside my heart. To destroy now what had been made evil by chance would be wrong. He must be free to make the choice. He can accept his destiny and damn himself, or fight for it and gain a chance for a better future. And if he chooses evil... then so be it. I will do what must be done. Decision reached, I reached up and tried to wipe off my wet face.
"For... for hurting you. And for keeping my ability a secret. I just... thought it would be too much to ask, to make you lie about someone with a gift like mine." I spoke softly, glancing away from him to collect myself. "I know I shouldn't have done it, but you already risk so much just by being my friend." With a little wet laugh, I met his gaze again. "But you've been suffering to protect me. I erased all traces of my gift from within you." Would doing so allow for more darkness to take control of him? Had my small trace of power been keeping him pure? The worry threatened to climb back up into my throat again so I fought it down.
Drawing in a deep breath, I climbed off his lap and wrapped my arms around my body, shivering. Facing the corruption riddling his body, that taint of Calamity, had seriously sapped at my powers. My body is fragile, and cannot handle the strain of too much darkness. On top of that, to heal as I do takes energy, more than a human naturally has to spare. I needed to rest, but... I glanced up at Sephiroth again. So does he.
"Though I've healed you, your body is still weak. You need to rest. I'll call Angeal and let him know you're back." I said, seeing his phone sticking out of an inner pocket on his trench coat, I picked it up off the ground, surprised at how heavy the thing was. You'd think from the way he whipped around in it that the coat was light, but now that I had it in my hands, I could feel some sort of metal reinforcing inside the leather covering. So it really was armor after all. And here I was thinking it was a truly bad fashion choice.
"Ciara." His deep voice made me freeze, coat partially folded over my arm. "I am no fool. When you healed me six years ago, I felt no pain, yet now I did. And the fault, I think, lies in me, not your expanding abilities. When we are both recovered you will tell me what has caused this abnormal reaction I have to the power you possess." I shivered again, though this time it was not from the fatigue wrecking my body. Those eyes... the eyes staring me down were not the gentle eyes of the man I knew. They were cold and ruthless. This was the face of the SOLDIER first class whom caused fear in the hearts of all in Gaia. Never had Sephiroth looked at me like that before. It chilled me to the bone and made me want to run screaming from the room. But... I steeled my spine and leveled a glare at him.
"What I choose to reveal and what I choose to hide is of no concern to you as long as it does not affect my life debt to you. I apologize for keeping my healing abilities from you but that is all. Now you will rest or I will make you." I snapped back, watching the ice in his eyes melt a little as his natural arrogance reacted to my words.
"Make me, Ciara?" He challenged, voice still scarily calm but this time I could read the undertone of humor in it. "I have not been made to do anything since I broke Hojo's arm for trying to run another rest on me." I shook my head at him and laid the coat over the back of the large leather chair in the corner of the room.
"You of all people should not how tenacious I am. And also the fact that I know you have a sleep materia in your library downstairs. One I enhanced for you. If I were to use that on you, you'd be sleeping until next month. So don't push your luck and rest. I'm going to call Angeal." I told him, glowering until he sighed and nodded, reaching down to unbuckle the belt at his hips. At that, I flushed and backed up. "Wh-what are you doing?" I squeaked. He narrowed a bland look my way.
"I sleep nude."
The completely calm tone in which it was delivered and the completely nonchalant look he gave me was too much. I shrieked and ran from the room, phone clutched in my hands as I hid my red face behind my hair. He slept naked. The image kept popping up unbidden in my mind, that white flesh pulled taut over wiry muscles gleaming in soft morning light, uncovered by any leather or cotton. His silver hair streaming about his body, inviting my hands to sink into it - No no no! I shook my head and leaned hard against the wall, biting my lip. He's a SOLDIER, for Gaia's sake, and a man most women find too terrifying to fantasize about. Not to mention you are harboring suspicion he may be the threat against the planet. Get a grip on yourself, Ciara!
Blowing out a breath, I hurried to the armchair I had been curled up in before and wrapped myself in the white blanket there before flipping open the phone. I scrolled through until I found Sephiroth's contacts list. Angeal's number was the first. Then Genesis. After that... the only other number on his phone was work. How... lonely.
I selected Angeal and pressed the phone to me ear, playing with the edges of the blanket as I listened to it ring. On the third ring, Angeal picked up.
"Sephiroth, what the heck! I've been worried about you. Listen, you need to hurry to your house. Ciara's been worried about you too, you know." He said, not waiting to hear the person on the other end talk. And why should he? The thought that someone else would use Sephiroth's cellphone was laughable.
"This is Ciara. He did come home first, Angeal. But he was wounded." I heard the stunned silence on the other end and hurried on before he could say anything. "Don't worry, I healed him, and he's resting it off. But... Angeal, remember what I told you? About... about me? I need to be certain about something before I act and to do that I need to examine another SOLDIER. So can you come to the house?" I asked it softly, not knowing if Sephiroth was listening in or not. Angeal was silent for a moment, then sighed.
"I'm still training, so I can't make it anytime soon. I've also got a mission lined up for me and the trainees so I can see how they work in the field. But..." He trailed off considering. Then he sighed heavily. "Alright. I'll meet up with you on my way out. The slum church where you made those flowers bloom; go there. I'll send one of the third class SOLDIERs to wait for you there and watch over you until I arrive. Can you do this examination quickly?" He asked, having just now thought of it. I told him it wouldn't take long and hung up. The thought of going back through that maintenance shaft wasn't thrilling, but... to be absolutely certain, I would.
Sighing, I tightened my hold on the blanket and look towards the stairs. He wasn't going to like my going out alone. He would want to go with me, for protection. But, at the same time, he drew more attention that I myself would alone. He was a double edged sword. I was safe with him but also in danger by his side. So I was going to have to convince him to not go with me when we both knew that my being in Midgar, alone, was terribly risky. The man was bullheaded; convincing him of this was not going to be easy.
"No time like the present." I muttered, letting the blanket slide to the floor as I stood and slowly mounted the stairs. At the top, I tiptoed to the bedroom and peeked in through the half open door. What I saw left my jaw on the floor and me incapable of any rational thought.
Sephiroth was asleep. I don't know how or why he fell into slumber so easily, but I praised Minerva that he had, since it would make my sneaking out so much easier. But... I couldn't move, frozen to the spot, because he wa truly and purely naked on top of that bed. His leather pants lay half on half off the side of his bed, the sheets a tangled mess underneath him.
He lay with one arm curled up around his head and the other loosely draped across his chest, stretching out his torso so I could see the definition of his chest and arms. My eyes trailed down his body to his strong thighs, but I gulped and yanked them back up, face flaming. Time to move, girl. I crept into the room softly, walking on the balls of my feet so as to make no sound. He had paper and a pen next to his bed, so I helped myself to some and scribbled out a quick note. I don't want him freaking out if he woke to find me gone or something. Facing the bed, I laid it on the pillow next to him.
His face was softer in slumber, the almost impossibly (definitely unfairly) long eyelashes brushing against his high cheeks while his sculpted jaw was not clenched as tightly. Nor was his brow furrowed like it often was during the day. He appeared younger, more peaceful, as he slept. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and trailed my fingers along his jaw, once again feeling that burn which came with touching him. There was a chance, now that I know what he carried in his body, that this reaction between us is caused by pure meeting corrupt. It is our bodies rejecting one another. But, even so, I couldn't resist the draw he held for me. My fingers traced upward, touching the bottom line of his thin lips, before I blinked, and drew away sharply. What am I, a pervert? How could I be drooling over him like this while he's sleeping?
Berating myself, I quietly backed out of the room and hurried to the backdoor. Sephiroth's back yard was fenced in by a sturdy, tall wooden fence, so I never felt in danger out here. And since we were on an upper plate, I could see the sky above and feel my connection to the planet. I'd spent hours out here in the past weeks while he was gone. But now I headed for the huge flowering bush in the back and got onto my knees, crawling into the heart of the branches. The maintenance exit was behind this frilly foliage. A good hiding spot but I still couldn't understand how Sephiroth, with his huge body and incredibly gorgeous hair, could use this exit. But, again, it matters not to me. Finding the hatch, I took a deep breath of clean air and then used the code Angeal had taught me to open it.
The stench wafted out instantly, even more overpowering than the last time I encountered it. Gagging, I pulled a handkerchief I'd found inside the house out of my pocket and tied it around my nose and mouth. It helped, but still... this place smelled worse than death and feces rotting in the sun together at the height of summer. Steeling myself, I climbed onto the ladder leading down to the walkway and started down, making sure I closed and sealed the door after me. Once inside I hurried across the walkway to the other side and exited.
I was more careful opening the door, though. Down here in the slums, I wasn't in much danger of being caught by Shin Ra Infantry or Turks, but all sorts of desperate people were here, and if I were caught coming out here, I could be beaten or killed as they stormed the vent in an attempt to get out of the slums.
The coast was clear, though, so I stepped out and locked up. The stench lingered in the air, though, clinging to my clothes. I know Angeal wouldn't mind, but his subordinate... I don't want Angeal to be considered a guy with dirty friends. I hurried into a small alcove nearby and pressed my back against the wall. The lifestream was distant, but still... I closed my eyes and reached out, calling a tiny lick of it to my person. The cool tendril coiled around my body, removing the stink and also chasing away my fatigue from healing Sephiroth earlier. That done, I stepped out of the alley and started walking towards the ruined church.
Since it is on the outskirts of Midgar, there were almost no people in the area surrounding the church usually. But when I came closer today, I sensed... my body stopped. There was no way it was possible, but I sensed a clean purity I hadn't felt since my mother died all those years ago. Heart in my throat, I picked up the pace and ran the open space between the church and the edge of the slum .
Standing in the sun amidst the flowers I had caused to bloom, watering them, was a young girl of maybe thirteen at most, long brown hair caught up in a curly tail that bounced as she moved with delicacy through the flowers. Tears pricked at my eyes as the girl turned, hearing my approach, and stared at me with large blue eyes. Ifalna! I opened my mouth, but no words came out. She looks just like my older sister, whom I had lost to the call of destiny many years ago. A youthful version of her, to be certain, but still Ifalna. My knees lost their strength and I fell, hitting the ground hard.
Little footsteps rushed to my side. "Are you alright? Do you hurt somewhere?" The clear, young voice was full of innocence as the girl grabbed my shoulder and tried to help me up. I sucked in a painful breath of air and centered myself as well I could, allowing the girl - my niece! - to help me stand. In her eyes I saw no recognition of who or what I was. There was much humanity in her, dulling her senses to the point that her abilities would be very muted, especially here in this stagnant city. She would, at most, be able to heal with materia to an uncanny degree and sense the passing of souls onto the planet. And... I swallowed hard. If Holy were ever again needed to be unleashed...
I shook my head. No. "Sorry, sweetie. I'm fine. It's just... you look like someone I used to know so I got a little start from seeing you." I said, smiling weakly at the girl and offering a hand. "I am called Ciara. What's your name?"
The girl shook my hand heartily. "I'm Aerith Gainsborough, and I'm thirteen. These pretty flowers started blooming here a few weeks ago, so I've been taking them home with me to help them grow better. I didn't know anyone else knew about this place?" She prattled on with childlike glee, skipping from topic to topic with ease. I smiled, despite myself. She is much like Ifalna...
"Gainsborough is a rather unusual name." I remarked quietly, swinging my feet a little as I stared at the sun pouring in on the flowers. They were healthy, I could feel that. And the lifestream was flowing closer to the surface than it had previously. This girl's presence was probably feeding them and keeping them alive, had called the lifestream close enough to allow for the flower's to permanently remain.
Next to me, Aerith grew silent. I glanced over and saw pain on her fair face. "Mother and I... we were held captive in that big building in the center of the city. When we escaped, Mother was... she became ill and died after that. I was left with Mrs. Gainsborough, taken in as her daughter. She keeps me safe from Shin Ra people and is raising me. I'm bringing her these flowers to make her happy. She hasn't really been happy since her husband died."
My heart broke within me. I had known, many years ago actually, that Ifalna was no longer alive. It had just hit me suddenly one day, an inescapable truth that I had been forced to accept. Ifalna was gone, had returned to the planet. The only one of my family left was me and this unknowing girl beside me. I brought my hand to my lips and bit my palm to stop my tears from falling. "Ifalna has died, then..." I whispered.
"You knew my Mother?" Aerith whispered, looking at me stunned. I smiled sadly. Oh, child... if only you knew. But, in my heart, I knew she could never know me. Not while I lived, anyways. To do so would be to put her in grave danger. I was known to Calamity. If that foul thing ever learned there was yet another who carried our blood, then she would be targeted and maybe killed. I looked at Aerith, those eyes so much like my sisters - like my own - and smiled.
"Yes, I knew Ifalna well. She... was a gentle woman." I reached up and tugged the ribbon from my hair, the materia falling into my lap. I stared at it, a sudden thought occurred to me. It made me sick in my stomach to consider doing this, but if darkness won this battle, if she gained control, then... I brought the materia to my lips and whispered a short prayer against the smooth surface, casting the start of the spell. What I whispered came from the depths of my heart, the part of me that normally only came out when I was inside the planet. Which each word, I was creating a terribly powerful burden to give to a child, but it was one I knew I had to. I felt it sink in, the materia become a pure, clear white unclouded by any other color or hue as the power feeding the spell, the planet's heart, also connected to my soul. Sephiroth's gift, what he had found in the Icicle Area... a gift from the hand of the one chosen as the vessel would become the key to protecting this planet. The painful irony was almost too much to bear. I held the materia out to Aerith.
"Here, child. This materia is from Ifalna. I have held onto to it for many, many years, hoping to return it, but now... I shall leave it in your hands. Protect it." I said, giving it to the child. She held it cautiously, treating the glass orb like a precious thing. She didn't even question me, though I felt horrible for lying. But... she would need that materia if I failed.
"What is this, Ciara?" She asked me, eyes wide.
"It's called Holy; the most sacred of all materia on Gaia and the one which can summon the power of Holy Minerva from the core of the planet to protect against Calamity and destruction. Long has it been held by the members of Ifalna's family. They were called Cetra, Ancients who protect Gaia, and you are among the last. So her burden falls to you. Can you do that, Aerith? If ever this world is threatened, can you summon Holy?" I asked her, watching those innocent eyes harden with resolve as she nodded. I leaned back against the pew we sat in and smiled. "Good. If ever you are scared or don't know what to do, Aerith, just close your eyes and pray. Your mother and ancestors are always watching over you." And so am I...
I stood and walked into the flower patch, kneeling among them. "One more thing... take care of these flowers?" I asked, cupping one delicate blossom in my hands. The girl bounced up and nodded, tucking the materia into her white dress as she joined me. We chatted for awhile longer, but then I sighed, seeing from the sky that the time for my meeting was coming closer. This girl... I want to keep her away from all Shin Ra, even Angeal, if at all possible. It would be marvelous if she were able to have a happy life. "Aerith, sweetie, I think it is time for you to return to Mrs. Gainsborough." I said, pointing to the sky. She squeaked and jumped to her feet, darting for one crumbling exit of the church. At the sagging entry, she faced me.
"Thanks for the present from Mother, Ciara! I'll look after the flowers for you!" She called, sending me a wave before running off. I stared after her for a long while, feeling the presence of Ifalna nearby. It wasn't censoring or angry, just... there.
"I'm sorry, sister... I just gave her a burden, a fate, almost as terrible as my own." I whispered, clenching my hands and staring down at my feet. I felt Ifalna's spiritual embrace and then she was gone, forgiving me for the horrible thing I had just done. Because we both knew that there was no other choice left. With my sister being gone and my fate being what it is, Aerith was the only one remaining who could do what was necessary. Sighing, I bent and plucked a flower, tucking it behind my ear as my unrestrained hair tumbled around me. A sound at the door had me turning.
A young boy with pitch black hair and happy, open blue eyes was walking towards me, dressed in the training uniform of Shin Ra. My mouth fell open when he got closer. He froze as well, recognizing me. I pointed at him. "You're that Zack brat from Gongaga!" I shrieked.
"And you're the creepy vegetable seller!" He shot back, seemingly stunned. If I wasn't so depressed I would have laughed. This boy has such a beautifully pure soul and bright way of viewing life, a rare quality today. In him I saw the strength and hope that would bring about an end to darkness. After flapping his lips for a long moment, he finally gained back his voice and crossed his arms, glowering at me.
"But.. but Angeal told me I was coming to meet a very close friend of Sephiroth's and that I had to be on my best behavior. You know Sephiroth?" He asked, apparently not believing what his eyes were telling him. I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. Zack Fair from Gongaga was many things, but intelligent was not high on his list of qualities. Ernest, good hearted, pure, quick, exceptionally strong, and loyal, all up there. Smarts... not so much. He wasn't stupid as much as.. thick.
"Yes, I know Sephiroth." I muttered. He threw his arms up and then planted them firmly on his hips, trying to stare me down. Which didn't work, seeing as I am taller than him a good deal.
"I don't believe this! You never told me." He said, looking extremely put out in the way only children can. Which reminded me... he was so young, only thirteen himself. Why would he be training to become a killer while so young? "You know how much I idolize the SOLDIERs and yet you never let on you knew the most famous one! He's a hero! Why, you could've put in a good word for me with them!"
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye then sighed and swung around, walking over to the pew where I had sat with Aerith moments earlier. I felt his gaze boring into my back, so I patted the bench next to me in invitation. He wasn't shy, and I knew the allure of my friendship with his idols would be enough. After hesitating, he came over and sat next to me.
"I wasn't exactly welcome in Gongaga, Zack, not to mention it was none of your business who I was acquainted with." I reminded him, holding a hand up when he tried to speak. "I did, however, tell Sephiroth a little about you, so you never know. You may get to met your hero one day, maybe even become one yourself." I meant the words to encourage him, and they did, causing his eyes to go bright with joy, but as I spoke them, the planet whispered to me.
I saw him weeping here in this church, I saw him laughing, I felt the pain of what he was being forced to do eating away at him, and through it all, I saw him struggle and succeed to retain his honor and his soul. I saw him become the true hero, even as his existence and name faded from memory from the one - the knowledge slammed shut and I winced at the lance of pain it sent through my head. Sometimes, when the planet is certain of a fate, and does not want it changed, the knowledge will be shut off from me so I cannot in any way affect it. Whoever Zack cared about enough to risk his very life for was important to the planet's plans. And I could not touch that life at all.
"Especially if you hang around her all that often." We both turned around at the same time as Angeal came striding in, breaking into my confusing thoughts. "Thank you for meeting her here, Zack. This won't take long, so you can go wait by the entrance." He said. The boy blew out a breath but jumped to his feet when the older man just leveled a look at him. Even though his face remained stern, I could feel Angeal's love and pride at this boy bubbling in his chest.
"Whaaaatever. See ya later, vegetable girl." He called out, waving as he went to follow Angeal's orders and wait by the entrance, just out of earshot but still in sight. He would be one that a mentor needed to watch closely. I slid over on the bench, giving Angeal room to sit beside me. He did and we both were silent for a long moment, then he sighed and looked at me.
"Ciara, I confess to doing some digging after what you told me last time. One of the scientists at Shin Ra was actually researching your people, the Ancients. Seems at some point he found a living one, with a child, up in the Icicle Area. When he refused to hand them over for study, he was killed and the mother and child taken into Shin Ra custody. Though they have since escaped, the daughter, who is the only one living now, is under constant surveillance. Shin Ra is far too interested in the Ancients. I wanted to let you know you aren't alone, but also that you you have to be careful. If they found out about you... it would bring you nothing but sorrow." He said.
I smiled at him. Angeal is a good man. I could feel his strong soul struggling with whether or not he should tell me this, not knowing that I had already met Aerith or even that she was related to me. The thought never occurred to him. But he just wanted me to know that I wasn't alone. I could feel his conflict and kindness, the concern he held for me, his sorrow at having to teach a young boy like Zack to kill, all of it. Reaching out, I grabbed one of his hands in both of mine. His issues were his own and I could not face them for him; each man's fate is there own and cannot be born by another. But I could do as my people have done for ages and give guidance, add strength and support to a searching soul.
"To have life is to have sorrows, but to live is to overcome them all when faced with adversity in order to grasp the true desire of your heart." I giggled when I finished the rather formal words the elder has always spoken and shrugged. "Or something like that. Thank you for sharing with me, Angeal. But please... do not do anymore research. If you seem to interested in this material, me and the orphaned girl may be in danger. It's sad enough already that she will never live a life free of Shin Ra." I felt my throat clench, but shook it off. I had marked her for a hard life when I had given her the Holy materia earlier; it did not matter if she was known to Shin Ra or not at that point. The only difference it made was that her life was never going to be easy. "I'm gonna examine you now. Let me know if I hurt you, though you may have to shout to make me react. I tend to zone out while doing this." When Angeal nodded I allowed my eyes to drift close and then sent my mind out, diving into the complexity of thoughts, feelings, and emotions that was a SOLDIER.
Right away I saw the corruption, the same darkness which lived inside Sephiroth. But, inside of Angeal, it wasn't as pervasive. The evil was there, to be certain, and I could even seen genetic degradation starting on some level, but not in the concentration and not to the extent that it was inside Sephiroth. My stomach churned as I looked around. It was obvious to me now that the Mako infusions were not what made the 1st class SOLDIERs so strong, though that is what the company proclaimed to the general public about the program. Those infusions were just supplements to the grotesque experimentation that had been done on them. Judging from the levels of genetic integration of corruption, this had started probably around gestation for both Angeal and Sephiroth. Shin Ra was taking the evil of Calamity and putting it inside good people, making them puppets that could be used by her if she grew any stronger. But only Sephiroth had enough to be completely and totally integrated with the corruption, without any flaws or defections... only him. Which meant...
I pulled back into my own body and bent double, air barely able to draw properly into my lungs as my mind tried to absorb the painful knowledge that Sephiroth, the man I cared for and my friend, was not human, had never gotten the chance to be human. Angeal put his hand on my shoulder and called my name, but I waved him off and curled tighter into myself, tears burning at the corner of my eyes. Angeal was going to die soon, maybe in the next five years or so. The mutation and destruction that had made him would eventually end up killing him. I would wager that the same could be said for Genesis, though they're might be a chance to save them if someone were to study the actual mutation process which was causing the slight degradation I could see inside Angeal. But Sephiroth... he had no degradation in his body. As a matter of fact, he was a factory for growing more of the corruption. He body drew in dark mako like regular bodies drew in lifestream and converted it into some poisonous substance that carried shades of Calamities darkness inside. If he bled, he would spread that darkness. If he cried. Anything from his body would carry a taint. He was a perfect vessel for Calamity, monstrously strong and yet spreading her vile evil just by existing. Just like her. Now that I knew, could I allow him to live? His very life threatened Gaia and eventually he would have to succumb to the darkness living within him or else perish and yet... I can't. I can't destroy him.
"Mother Gaia, why do you make this my fate?" I choked out, clenching my hands into fists and trying to swallow back the sorrow rising within me. Tears started dripping down my face as I panted, trying to hold the feelings in. My emotions can be dangerous if not contained. Just as my laughter and joy created flowers, so did my sorrow destroy them, as the planet reacted to whatever emotion was strongest in my heart. That was why I always tried to maintain a peaceful state of mind, to lessen the chance that I may cause harm to not only the people but also the planet. But here, in this city of death and pain, where the screams of the tormented choked me and there was no chance for my mind to touch the beauty of the planet's core, that harmony was already dangerously upset. Through sheer willpower I had been maintaining equilibrium but now that will was broken. I was broken.