17.
Remus looked at the floor, his head down, shoulders slumped and his body trembling as he waited. How could he have been so stupid? Why had he thought that telling them would be any different than it had been with the others, why did he have to ruin everything? He refused to cry, he had already cried too often in front of them as well as in general, and he wouldn't do so any more. Peter had said that werewolves don't have feelings, nor do they have friends. Yet he had feelings, even if he didn't have friends; did that mean that he should bury them and attempt to not feel or show emotion? Perhaps it would be best if he could no longer feel anything, no longer be hurt or afraid, simply indifferent to what happened and to those around him. Remus felt something shift within him, changing him and seeming to lock part of himself away in a deeper part of his mind. He stood there afraid to look up, and unable to move from the room as they were blocking the only way out of the room, he would have to remain until they finished with him.
So preoccupied was he within his thoughts, that he failed to notice the approach of Lily, he flinched when a hand was placed on his shoulder and another was placed under his chin to make him look up. Remus gulped slightly and slowly met the bright green eyes of Lily, noticing the kindness, sorrow, and pity that were easily discernible within their depths. He was surprised not to find any fear, or anger in her eyes, he was even more surprised when she stepped forward and hugged him tightly. Remus stiffened for a moment, then hesitantly, he hugged her back, glancing over her shoulder at Severus who had remained by the door and had an unreadable expression on his face. Remus hadn't thought that Lily would be understanding or even that she wouldn't fear him, he was glad that she didn't and still wanted to be around him. It had been foolish of him to think that Severus would want to be around him as well…he had been raised knowing about werewolves and how evil they were so of course he wouldn't want to be around Remus anymore; not now that he knew the truth. Therefore he was rather shocked when he felt another pair of arms go around him, Severus—the boy who didn't hug anyone or show much emotion—was hugging him, was hugging a werewolf…and he didn't seem to mind. For a moment the three of them stood there, enveloped in a hug and none of them wanted to let go. Not the girl who felt as though she had lost her sister when she gained this new world, not the boy who came from a home where he was nearly as unwanted and unwelcome as a werewolf, and not the werewolf himself—who never thought that he could actually have friends if they knew his secret—they all clung to each other as though they each understood what the other was feeling and were offering as well as accepting comfort from the others.
Immediately after Remus had told them what he was—well more wrote it down for them to read, as he still couldn't speak—both Lily and Severus had known why these things had happened to Remus and they knew that this was also the reason that he was scared all the time and was always ill once a month. Although things now made sense to them, neither of them thought that it was right that Remus was treated this way, and they both silently promised to be there for him and remain his friend, regardless of the fact that they now knew what he was. They were closer now that they knew what was going on and the reason behind all the secrecy as well as the problems that Remus was currently having and they would all remain close friends.
A few days later they were walking down to the library—taking it rather slow as Remus was limping and clutching at his stomach with his good hand—attempting to further study for an essay in transfiguration, when Remus began coughing. None of them thought much of it until he couldn't stop and he began choking. He bent over, covering his mouth with his twisted hand and using his other hand to hold onto the wall for balance. Severus was growing more worried as the boy became paler and couldn't catch his breath, Lily hurried to his side and began trying to steer him to the hospital wing. Severus hurried and got on his other side so that he was supported equally between them and so that Lily wasn't taking all the weight—though Remus hardly weighed anything—they moved as fast as they thought was safe for the boy as he continued to cough and choke. Lily was the first to notice that he was coughing harder and that his hand had blood on it, she grew afraid for the boy and hoped that Madam Pomfrey would be able to figure out what was wrong with him. Upon reaching the hospital wing, they were instantly set upon by the matron who whisked the still coughing Remus off to a bed where she began muttering to herself and waving her wand to figure out what was wrong with him. Severus and Lily stood forgotten near the door, watching and worrying as his coughing got worse and he was getting less and less oxygen, they each felt so helpless and they hated it.
He had finally stopped coughing, been given a potion to replenish some of the blood he had lost, had his broken hand healed, and was currently laying in one of the beds in the hospital while Madam Pomfrey grew more and more angry as she searched for the cause of his coughing fit and apparent internal bleeding. Remus watched as the matron's normally kind face grew livid, she waved her wand over his stomach and he tried to keep from moving as he felt something shifting and felt something else leave his body. She turned and looked at him, her face angrier than he had ever seen it.
"Why didn't you come in sooner Remus? I could have prevented the internal bleeding and the mini-ruptures in your organs as well as the pitting on your bones, this could have easily been avoided…haven't you felt any pain lately?"
Remus slowly nodded his head, wondering what she was so upset about and what could have caused the things she was talking about. The matron sighed wearily and told him as calmly as she could.
"You had a rather large amount of silver in your body Remus, I am not sure how you managed that but frankly I am amazed that you are alive. Your body was being eaten away from the inside, why didn't you come in sooner?" Madam Pomfrey looked at him sadly and silently handed him another potion to take that would help his body heal faster.
Remus felt better than he had since Christmas, the burning was gone…it felt strange to be without the constant agony that had been growing for so long. He started shaking as he realized where the silver had come from, the rolls and water that Peter had given him; they had tasted funny, yet he had dismissed it, thinking that they were old. Remus was suddenly very afraid as he came to the only available conclusion; Peter had tried to kill him.