I heard Angeal shouting my name, but didn't pay him any mind, staring straight at the flowers in front of me. Aerith's flowers, now. As I watched I saw them curling a little away from me, their petals losing the vibrancy that made them so beautiful. My pain was causing them to wither. If this pain grew any stronger, I could harm Angeal or his boy. And that was something I could never do. Gasping, I jumped to my feet and turned, running past the concerned Angeal and the stunned Zack, dashing across the empty space until I hit the slums and was swallowed by the crowd. If I didn't use the people as a shield, those two warriors would catch me. I'm fast, but I'm not a SOLDIER. I focused my mind on escaping, the only thought able to break through the sea of emotions inside me that of getting out under the open sky.
The feelings and desires of the slum residents pressed against me. My mental shields, the natural barriers that protected me from the bombardment of emotion while among people, were gone, stripped away by my own uncontrollable feelings. If I stayed here I would go mad, unable to cope with feeling all those thoughts and wishes. I turned and started running as fast as my legs would carry me towards the exit. I bumped into people but offered no apology, just ran until the crowd started to clear in front of me. The people gave the crazy woman with the wild hair and damp eyes a wide berth. Living in this city meant they knew to recognize the dangers and avoid them. And right now, I was terribly dangerous.
Finally I made it outside of Midgar, but I didn't stop running, my legs carrying me out into the vast field surrounding the mechanical city. My heart was driving me forward, trying to outrun the knowledge of the destiny awaiting me, trying to physically push out the pain and grief threatening to swallow me whole. My feet kept carrying me onward, lungs burning and strained. Panic had built in my chest, the pain was overwhelming me, and I needed... I had to get somewhere pure, somewhere clean where I could breath and think. Gasping for breath, I turned my face towards the distant mountains and took a step.
"Ciara!" A hard hand shackled my wrist as my name was shouted. The panic in me spiraled out of control and I swung out, fingers curled to scratch the person who was holding me. My other hand was caught and that was it. I closed my eyes and screamed until my voice was raw. "Ciara, it's me." Breathing heavily I mutely shook my head and twisted against the person holding me. I felt anger burning in him, though it wasn't directed at me. Mutely I tried to pull free, though my escape attempts were weakening. The person sighed and turned to someone nearby, the other person's concern brushing against my mind soothingly. It was a pure, honest feeling, able to reach through the chaos in my mind and start to help me gather myself again.
"Here, take my phone. Call five; if he answers, let him know that somethings wrong with Ciara. If he doesn't answer, leave a message. Tell him that Angeal is taking Ciara somewhere safer because something is wrong, and that you will wait for him at HQ to fill him in and give directions. I'll call with my other phone once I get her... helped. Wait at HQ. Say nothing to anyone, except him." There was a slight scurry of sound and then the concerned person ran off. "Ciara, tell me what you need."
My mind was beginning to settle a little, freed from the metal cage of stagnant life in Midgar. "The mountains. I have... the mountains." I whispered, ripping one of my hands free from the stranglehold the man had on me to clutch at my chest. My heart was going to burst if I didn't get to pure lifestream soon and immerse myself in it to meditate. Pain accumulates inside of my people and if we get too much at once, the delicate balance we maintain shatters, making us ill. Sometimes we die from this sudden flood of negative emotion. Opening my eyes, I forced my mind to focus. Angeal looked down at me, his concern written all over his face. "Near the Nibel Area, in the mountains, there is a peak near a cave that is surrounded on all sides by rock. I need to be there. Only a chocobo..." I whispered, hardly able to speak with my voice raw and ruined from my screaming earlier.
"I... am sorry to say this, but as a child I had no money and therefore could not really afford to train a chocobo. I don't have one." Angeal said, glancing off in the distance with some distaste. "Nor am I an expert on riding or taming them, since I always use helicopters and transport cars like a normal person."
"I have one. Gershal greens. In my pocket." Again I whispered. Angeal blinked at me, but then nodded, letting me go. I instantly fell to the ground, unable to stand any longer. He looked alarmed, but then sighed and knelt beside me, muttering an apology as he shoved his hands into the pockets on my dress until he found what he wanted. He threw the pungent greens into the air and in moments I heard the loud 'kweeh!' of my chocobo.
Angeal sucked in a breath as my beautiful bird flew up. Most people thought golden chocobo nothing more than a myth, a legend created by nomads in ancient times to amuse themselves with their ordinary birds. But my bird was golden. I'd found it shortly after my villages was destroyed and I had started living on my own. Since then, the two of us have been inseparable. The bird landed and bent over, nudging me with it's beak as it let out a squawk of concern.
Lifting my arms, I sank my fingers into his shimmering feathers. The bird knelt so it wasn't towering over me and I painfully pulled myself onto his back, weaving a little when he stood. I glanced down at Angeal and opened my mouth to say something, anything, to get that anger out of him - I could sense now that it was directed at himself, though I don't exactly understand why. It wouldn't go him any good to keep that inside, and my personal desire to help momentarily drove out the agony I was in.
His phone rang, startling both of us. Flipping it open, he pressed it to his ear. "Yes?" He asked, shortly. I watched his face closely and saw the alarm growing on it. "Say what? N-no I have no idea. The Turks have been sent out!? I'm just outside Midgar; I'll meet them there. Send the trainees out with them so they don't get lost on the way." He hung up and looked up at me, face pale.
"The reactors acted up, in response to a strange surge in energy traced to the slum church three minutes ago. Upon further investigation, witnesses saw a woman with blonde hair fleeing the scene at around the same time. We've been ordered to find and capture her for the Research and Development team to find out how she was able to influence the reactors." He stated the information calmly, even as his eyes betrayed his agitation. "I'm to gather my trainees and lead the search on the ground while the Turks take the air."
I rested my cheek on the chocobo's neck, lightly running my fingers along the feathers. "It's alright, Angeal. I've been in Midgar for two months now; I was bound to be discovered sooner or later. I'm only sorry this puts you in conflict. I'll go now. And maybe someday I'll see you again." He reached out and grabbed my hand, smiling at me.
"Stay safe, Ciara. I know we will meet again, even if I have to grow wings and fly to see you. Nothing is beyond a SOLDIER." It was said jokingly, but the sentiment behind the words was true, I could tell, and my heart ached for him. He glanced back towards the entrance. "You'll want to fly as high as you can, to avoid the helicopters. The Turks are rather diligent, though Veld is questionable. I doubt that Sephiroth has been called in on so trifle a mission." It was a warning and advice all rolled into one. I squeezed his hand to let him know I understood and dug my knees into my chocobo. With a soft kweeh the bird jumped up and started flapping, carrying both of us high into the air.
"To my sanctuary, Choco." I whispered in his ear, still fighting off the waves of sorrow threatening to choke me. I was not able to steer my bird, but he's a good boy. He instantly turned West, towards the water, and flew swiftly. On land, chocobos speed cannot be matched by any living creature. In the air, they're slower, but still, he can make some serious time. I just had to hold on and wait.
When we were pretty far out over the waters between the Corel Area and the Midgar Area, I heard the choppers. Holding on to Choco, I twisted around to look behind me. The outline of the shore was barely visible but the dark specks over it were getting larger. Had they found me already? How? Angeal wouldn't have told them anything and no one would suspect an fugitive to be in the air on a mythical golden chocobo! I didn't think they actually had me in sight, though, because the formation behind me was broad, one formed to cover the most amount of space. But why were they doing a sweep over the ocean? Did they fear that I would try to swim to get away?
Biting my lip, I turned to face the front again, seeing Corel Area coast close by. Though I didn't want to go anywhere near people while I was still unbalanced, I didn't want to risk leading the Shin Ra company to my sanctuary. I leaned up against Choco's neck.
"Change of plans, old boy. Costa Del Sol, on the double." I whispered in his ear. He tossed his head and banked, changing course for the popular resort town. We landed in a forest near the outskirts, and I slid off Choco, who clucked at my worriedly. Chocobos are much smarter than most people give them credit for; they can sense things, and Choco knew I wasn't alright. But I just stroked my fingers along his beak. "Be prepared to fly outta here fast if you have to, Choco, okay?" I told him, giving him some more Greshal greens before heading out of the woods and into Costa Del Sol.
It actually wasn't as crowded as I feared, but still full of plenty of people so I was able to quickly lose myself among them. As it was autumn now, the chill in the air has driven some of the fair weather chasers here, but peak season wouldn't hit until true winter fell on Midgar. Even so, there were enough people here to give me some problems what with their emotions pounding against me. I paid my fee for entering the village and walked around aimlessly, slipping my boots off so my bare feet came in contact with the earth beneath me. Touching Gaia helped to ground me, started to balance the twisted shape my mind was in.
I walked to the beach, the hot sand under my soles comforting. Though most people around me were in swim gear, there were a couple other people out here in light clothes like mine, so I didn't stand out too awfully much. Heading to the water's edge, I went out deep enough for the salty sea to lick at my calves and then started pacing up the length of the beach, head bent like I was scoping for shells.
Though it wasn't as good as what I had planned to do, the sea was helping to calm my mind, soothe my ragged heart. The gentle ebb and flow of water drew the sorrow out of me and into the planet, where it would be handled and returned as a stronger power. The sound of sand under sea calmed my labored breathing while the sea air soothed my ragged throat. I could still feel too much - I was getting emotions from the people on the shore more than I wanted to - but I wasn't in danger of breaking open any longer. This fix wasn't perfect, but at least I was able to think again a little.
What was I to do? My feet stopped and I bent, digging at the edge of a white shell sticking out of the sand. Sephiroth was Calamity's child, had been made into a perfect vessel for her wicked deeds from his would be no changing that, not now that I knew how pervasive the darkness was in him. The only way for him to escape that fate would be to die while he was still himself. I can't kill him, though. Not only will my personal feelings get in the way, but his strength will not allow for someone like me to deny him life. Only another SOLDIER 1st class has hope of that, though I refuse to make those friends fight each other. My only option then... but, he's such a strong person that he won't just die without a fight, if he were aware of the situation. And could I even bear to tell him? He didn't know about his birth, about what kind of people had twisted his life into this hellish fate. He'd told me once in a letter that he grew up in the Shin Ra labs, never knowing who his parents were. He only knew of his mother's name, Jenova. Even I don't know the truth about his past. What kind of mother gives up her child to heinous experiments? What kind of father would let it happen?
I'm so sorry... The voice whispered on the wind, but I knew only I heard it. The planet had allowed me to glimpse someone's pain, though I know not why. Agony whispered along those three words, until I wanted to weep. I can't deal with this now. Sighing, I drew my shields around my mind again, blocking the woman's voice out.
"I don't think I'm the one you need to apologize to anyway, lady..." I muttered, shaking my head to get the last traces of her sorrow out of my head, since I have enough of my own to deal with right now.
I was startled out of my thoughts by a shadow hanging over me. I jerked my head up and stared hard at the handsome man with pure dark hair pulled back from an astute face watching me. "The sea is cold, this time of year." He finally said, offering me a hand. With my shields up all the way, I am not able to read people the way I normally do, but I can still sense auras. And this man has a clean one, despite the violence I could see in his eyes. I accepted his hand and allowed him to pull me to my feet. "I'm Tseng." He said, letting me go.
"Ciara." I answered shortly, staring out at the sun sparkling on the water. "When I stand beside the sea and realize how small I truly am, I can't help but wonder what my place on this planet is." I didn't realize I had spoken aloud until Tseng stood crossed his arms against the small of his back and stood staring out beside me, and answered me.
"It is our lot in life to have to struggle to find that place. Though your path is probably clearer than any regular persons, is it not, friend of the Cetra?" I whirled at his words, hand flying to my throat. Looking at him now, seeing the suit and the impeccable manner of dress... Turk. This guy was a Turk. He held up a hand and stepped away from me. "Relax. I am on leave. The last mission I was on led to an entire town being bombed, so Veld handed me a week long vacation pass to Costa Del Sol and told me to get out of Midgar. I was on my way out when I decided to do one last check on the Cetra girl Aerith. I saw you talking to her and left."
So he was one of the people watching that girl. I hadn't sensed him at all, though to be honest, my shock at finding another with my people's blood had probably compromised my ability. Well, even then, this man was impressive, since I hadn't sensed him sneaking up on me earlier either. Then I noticed the white sling under his jacket holding his arm, and the bandages wrapped around his head, and felt my eyes widen. He wasn't on leave; he was recovering from serious injuries. I lowered my hand, fighting the urge to relieve his pain.
"Just because a person can hear the voice of the planet does not mean that they can understand their purpose for living." I said, turning and slowly starting to walk up and down the beach again. "I'm still trying to find mine. It's not easy for any person."
Tseng kept pace with me, nodding his head. We both looked up when one of the Shin Ra helicopters flew overhead and kept heading West. I wanted to duck and hide, but even if they spotted a blonde girl from up there, they probably wouldn't land... would they? "Are you running from Shin Ra?" Tseng asked me suddenly, making me stare at him, bug eyed, again. If this man ever went up in rank among the Turks, those brutes might actually get some stuff done! He was sharp... insightful and blunt. I met his gaze steadily.
"Yes."
"Then I will not give you away to them." He turned and started walking back towards the town, leaving me no choice but to scurry after him. "I know that Shin Ra has done awful things; a whole town was wiped out and then replaced because of them. Whatever your reasons for running are, I won't stop you. It is like with the Cetra girl. I watch her, talk to her about her options, but that is all." Another good man, doing what he can to try to stop the wrong he knows is being committed in this world.
I suddenly saw, in flash, images of this man standing before me and what events would befall him in the future. I saw the pain and the suffering, but what made me want to cry the most... was the box of letters I saw him holding in his hands one day. And I didn't know why. Shaking the vision off, I wiped the wet sand off my feet and slipped them back into my boots as we gained the street.
Without pausing, Tseng went up to a hotdog vender and bought two, handing me one and turning to a bench looking out over the square. I seated myself and started to eat, not having realized how hungry I actually was. My emotional balance was getting better. Food, the sea, the air, open sky... it was all helping. But I still needed to get to the mountains. More than that, I need one person to be with me. It defines all logic, but I'm not gonna fight it. I sighed and looked at Tseng.
"Turk phones, are they untraceable?" I asked suddenly. He was chewing, so he just nodded and handed his to me without question. I shouldn't really trust this guy, but I do. Maybe because he reminds me a little of my father, back when he was still alive. I tried to picture Tseng blonde and couldn't, just managing to crack myself up. Still, I do believe him. So I flipped open the phone and punched in a number I had memorized long ago, hoping the man on the other end would answer and not be angry.
"Yes." I shivered at the cold emanating from his voice, but started talking.
"Hey, um... can you possibly happen to suddenly take a vacation? Get an urge to see the sea?" I asked, knowing he would understand. There was a long silence on the other end of the phone, then a soft sigh.
"Stay there." Sephiroth ordered, hanging up on me. I pulled the phone away from my ear and stuck my tongue out at it.
"Rude..." I muttered, snapping it shut and giving it back to Tseng. Then I propped my chin on my hand and smiled as brightly as I could at him. "I know it's terribly uncouth of me to ask this of a man recovering from injury on paid leave, but can you, ya know, scat for the next hour and then pretend you never met me?" I asked. He stood up.
"Naturally. Is your ride coming to get you?" He asked. I giggled a little.
"Actually, I'm his ride, but he doesn't know that now. Thank you, Tseng, for helping me out." I told him, brushing my fingers against his sleeve. It wasn't much but... I could give him some extra luck. Who knows, it might come in handy one day. He looked a little startled at my gratitude, but then nodded his head and bowed, walking away from me without a backwards glance.
I wished him well and finished my food, then headed back to the beach. There were fewer people out here now, since it was growing hot with the sun beating down so powerfully, but I just found myself an umbrella and opened it, plopping my bum down on the sand shaded beneath it and watching the waves roll in and out.
Under the shade I just let my mind wonder and didn't try to think of anything. Not a solution to my problems or even a course of action. I just sat. It is strange, really, for me to be doing nothing. My entire life, I've had a huge motive. Don't get found out, don't get killed, don't get caught, don't let anyone find out about your bloodlines, don't fight your destiny... but now, that was all washing away with the tide. Because my life was in shambles, I didn't have to worry about what I had to make sure didn't happen. All I had to do at this moment was breath. Live. Be Ciara. Leaning back, I smiled and closed my eyes, drawing in a deep breath.
"So this is the calm before the storm, yeah?" I whispered, falling onto my back and staring up at the umbrella above me. There was no doubt in my mind that eventually, something would happen which would cause Sephiroth to lose his cool, make him let go of his strong will for just a moment, and when that happened, Calamity would creep in and seize control. Once that happened... fire, pain, death, sorrow, torment, it would all follow. But also, as Sephiroth fell into darkness, so would I. I would be the light hidden at the bottom of despair. Because that was the role I had to play. The goddess descends from the sky, wings of light and dark spread afar, she guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting. A giggle bubbled up in my throat. Genesis must be rubbing off on me. Though I hadn't met with him again since he left with Sephiroth months ago, he leaves a lasting impression.
I doubt he truly knew what he was doing, quoting Loveless to me, reciting the lines. I doubt anyone really remembered where that poem came from, or how the play came to enact the lives of three important figures. But, I guess in the end it doesn't matter. All the players have a part and will leave the stage when their last line is given. Or something like that. Trying to be poetic in my thoughts leaves me with a pounding headache.
The soft sound of heavy feet on sand caught my attention. Instead of getting up, I tilted my head back as far as I could so I was viewing the world behind me upside down. Those boots coming towards me... in my heart, I felt some of the last of my panic fading. "Hey. Feeling better?" I asked, flipping over onto my stomach and waiting as he bent so he could see me under the umbrella and offer me a hand, which I started to take. Then I blinked. He wasn't wearing his trench coat... in fact... "You own a shirt?" I asked, stunned.
Sephiroth sent me a look and snagged my hand, pulling me out from under the shade. Not only was he wearing a shirt, but a form fitting one at that. Still long sleeved and black, but having his chest hidden by clingy fabric was almost worse than having it peeking out at me from the confines of his regular attire. Pushing my mouth shut, I saw he was watching me closely and gave him a soft smile.
"I probably look horrible. Been crying. I'm still not a hundred percent, but I'm better than I was. Sorry if I worried you." I said, keeping pace by his side. It was interesting. Normally when taken out of their combat clothes, military men can kind of fit in with the people around them, but not Sephiroth. Even in civilian-esque clothing, he stood out. People backed away from him and stared in awed fear. Maybe it was that fact that his silver hair was a well known trait of his? Or the mako eyes? The sheer presence? Doesn't really matter. Whatever it is about him that makes people uneasy is just part of the whole package for me. He is who is is, and I would never try to make him change that.
"Is it my fault?" Sephiroth asked as we slowly walked through the village together, side by side but not touch or clinging to each other like all the other couples we saw were. Even so, I felt safe with him. I knew, even though he appeared completely relaxed beside me, that he was keeping an eye on everything going on. "Ciara." I sighed. Guess I wasn't going to be able to avoid this conversation, though I wished with all my might that I could. It is terribly hard for me to lie, but in this case, telling the truth would be even worse. So I guess a mix of both is the best I can do.
"No, not yours. Not even mine. The fault lies with someone who I cannot even begin to assume I understand." That much is true. Who would do such a thing to him? Someone insane? Drawing in a deep breath, I spun so I was walking backwards, facing him. "I'm dangerously unbalanced right now and I have to go somewhere remote to recover. Wherever you need to be I can drop you off, I just wanted to let you know before I up and vanished so -"
"I'm coming with you." He said it like it was the most obvious and non negotiable thing in the world. My mouth flopped open again, but I quickly shut it and put my hands on my hips, glaring at him.
"Look, I appreciate the thought and all, but need I remind you that I'm a very tough adult woman and I don't need a SOLDIER haunting my footsteps. Not to mention, you have a job to do in Midgar. President Shin Ra, ring any bells?" I waved my hand at him, but he just grabbed my wrist and pulled me along behind him, quickly leaving the village and heading straight for the forest I had left Choco in. I dug in my heels and yanked my hand free, crossing my arms across my chest and waiting. After a few more steps, he turned and met my gaze evenly.
"Why?! You've never needed to be with me before? Hell, Sephiroth, we've been separated more than we've been together for six years." The way I phrased that made it seem like we were in a relationship... I tilted my head down to hide the heat invading my face.
He turned and faced the east, the direction in which Midgar lied. "For awhile now, I have had a feeling of something being wrong. I may not have your exact gifts, Ciara, but I can read the signs. Towns being obliterated, an endless war, monsters springing up with greater frequency, they are all torrents of something. Professor Gast told me, when I was younger, that the planet cries as darkness rises. Now the planet weeps. When that darkness finally comes... I wonder who will be left standing?"
Sephiroth's eyes, when he faced me again, were so sad, almost like he knew. Looking into those beautiful, terrifying eyes, I felt in my soul that he was aware of something getting ready to change irrevocably, and that the change would affect him. And I also knew... my time was almost up. If he left me now... I would never see him again. My destiny would claim me. I clenched my hands tightly. "It won't be me. Despite what Genesis says, I am no hero, and I will never last a fall." It was a struggle for me to speak, but I knew I had to.
"So... you're gonna stay with me? But you can't. Sephiroth, you're... you're Sephiroth! You are the face of SOLDIER,the militant arm of Shin Ra. You can't just up and disappear. But I can; I have to. It's how I survive." I said, storming up to him. There were tears in my eyes again, but I didn't let them fall. "I know you take pride in what you do and who you are and I won't let you throw all that away on a spooky feeling." Not even for me. It's best for you to be with Genesis and Angeal... because soon all of that will be ripped from you forcibly, leaving a gaping wound that will never heal. I suspect that the betrayal coming for him will be what weakens him enough to allow for the Calamity to take control.
He just looked at me. "I cannot ever stop being what I am. And I won't give up my job; it's all I'm good for. I can, however, take a brief leave. The President, after hearing about my injury in the last mission, told me to. So for now, Ciara, I will stay where you are." A small smirk tilted up the corner of his mouth. "Besides, you get into trouble when left on your own."
I harumphed and shoved by him stalking towards the forest angrily, but inside, I was a little happy. Out of all the people he could have chosen to be with now, he picked me. Our time was coming to an end, I knew that, but... just a little longer. I silently sent that prayer to my ancestors for strength and forgiveness and gave Sephiroth a mocking look.
"Me, get into trouble? I think that's rich, coming from the boy who ended getting shot on his first mission." I pointed out, putting my fingers to my lips and whistling. Choco bolted out of the forest and ran up to me, rubbing his face against my chest. He then stood as tall as he could and stared coldly at Sephiroth. Choco does not like males. However, Sephiroth didn't even blink at being given the one over by a chocobo (and a golden one at that) and instead just lifted an eyebrow. I giggled. "You're the one who picked to come with me. I fly the way nature intended humans to; using animal power. So... coming, city boy?" I asked, jumping up onto Choco's back.
Sephiroth didn't answer, just leapt up onto the bird behind me with an agility and familiarity which surprised me. I wouldn't think that someone as high ranking as him, who had grown up in the science laden world of Shin Ra, would know what to do with a chocobo. But, then again, this man would never want to be at a disadvantage. He probably taught himself to ride one. Laughing at the mental image that brought up, I leaned forward and whispered out destination to Choco, who squawked and then took to the air. Sephiroth slid an arm around my waist and held on as we flew off into the sky.
-Note: Sorry, this chapter is extremely short...-