School is out for the holidays! *parties* I'm celebrating by posting a new chapter! XD This is for Bookworm213.

Song: Someday My Prince Will Come

Romano paused his game as he fell into a coughing fit. It really sucked being sick, especially on Christmas Break. Still, sitting in bed and playing Mario Kart all day kind of made up for it. He unpaused the game and tried to guide Luigi through Rainbow Road, biting back a curse as he slipped on a banana peel. There was a light tap on the door and he looked up to see his mother come in.

"Hi, honey."

"Hey, mom." Romano winced slightly; his throat was still sore.

His mother placed a hand on his forehead and Romano paused the game again before Peach could knock him off the road. Annoying little bi-

"Feeling better?" his mom asked.

"A little bit."

She straightened and moved to open the window shades. "Guess what?"

Romano perked up at her happy tone. "What?"

"Nonno Romulus is here." Aaaaand Romano slumped back down in his bed.

"Ugh, can't you tell him I'm sick?"

"That's why he's here, silly." His mom chuckled and sat on the edge of his bed.

"He'll pinch my cheek. I HATE that!" Romano complained.

"Well, maybe he-"

The door banged open, revealing Romano's youthful grandfather. One hand was holding his coat and the other holding a rectangular object covered with gold wrapping paper. "How's the sickie, huh?" he asked playfully. He walked over and, of course, pinched Romano's cheek. His mother sighed and stood up.

"I think I'll leave you two pals alone." She gave Romano a look that clearly said 'behave yourself' and walked out.

Romulus handed his grandson the gift. "I got you a special present."

"What is it?"

"Open it up."

Romano eagerly ripped off the paper. Underneath was a thick book with a faded gold cover. He wrinkled his nose in distaste. "A book?"

"That's right," Romulus laughed. "When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. This was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick and I used to read it to your father. Today I'm going to read it to you." He grabbed a nearby chair, along with the book, and sat down.

Greeeeat. "Has it got anything cool in it?" Romano asked.

Romulus looked at him wide eyed. "Are you kidding?! Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles!"

Hmm… Romano nodded (as if he had any say in it) and turned off Mario Kart. "Eh, doesn't sound that bad -" He snuggled down in his pillows. "- I'll try to stay awake."

His grandfather bowed graciously. "Thank you very much. That's very kind of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming." Romano ignored the mocking edge in his words. After a brief search in his pockets for reading glasses, Romulus opened the book to the title page.

"The Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern. Chapter one," he began…

Feliciana was raised on a small farm in the equally small kingdom of Florin. She was often considered the most beautiful girl in her village, with her hair the color of leaves in late autumn, golden eyes and snowy complexion. A complexion, one might add, that was due to the fact that she hardly did any work on that farm. No, the farm boy did that for her. She loved riding her horse and tormenting said farm boy. She wasn't needlessly cruel, she was just really lazy. Plus, the farm boy never complained, so what did it matter? His name was Ludwig, but she never called him that.

"Isn't that a wonderful beginning?"

"Sure, it's real good."

Many times throughout the day, she would give Farm Boy commands more fit for a princess than a peasant. For instance, one fine day Feliciana led her horse into their small stable after a refreshing gallop. Farm Boy was cleaning the stall.

"Farm Boy, polish my saddle. I want to see my face shine in it by morning," Feliciana said.

Farm Boy paused and looked up at her with clear blue eyes. "As you vish." Feliciana nodded and flounced away, certain it would get done. "As you wish" was all he ever said to her. Because, of course, that was their relationship: mistress and servant.

It wouldn't be until many months later that she finally realized that when he said "as you wish" what he really meant was "I love you". It also happened to be the day that she realized that she truly loved him in return. The realization that Ludwig loved her happened in the morning, her own amazing moment of clarity happened near midday when they'd gone to the market to sell some product. Feliciana watched Ludwig closely that day, noticing things she'd been aware of but that had never really registered in her mind. Ludwig was kind to children and an honest bargainer. He hovered protectively over her when the village lads got a little too bold while also getting flustered when the girls did the same with him (though he never returned their advances so instead of being jealous, Feliciana found it endearing).

When they got home Ludwig grabbed some firewood while Feliciana loitered by the shelves. He turned to leave the small cottage when she called out, "Farm Boy!" Ludwig turned and looked at her questioningly. Discovering she had no reason to keep him there, Feliciana fumbled over her words. "F-fetch that ...jar ...for me…" She pointed to a jar inches away from her.

Wordlessly Ludwig joined her by the shelves and grabbed the vessel, never taking his eyes off her. His normally slicked back hair was mussed from the trip and he looked so gorgeous in the dim light and-

"As you vish." He handed her the jar. Something in his eyes let Feliciana know that he knew what her real intentions were. He raised a hand and cautiously brushed it through her hair. She shivered and leaned in closer, silently asking - no, begging - for some confirmation that she wasn't misunderstanding this wonderful, perfect man. A small blush crept over Ludwig's cheeks as he leaned down and kissed her gently.

"Hold it, hold it!"

Romulus paused and looked up. Romano was glaring at him and sitting up straight. "What is THIS? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the cool stuff?" His face suddenly became suspicious. "Is this a kissing book?"

"Wait, just wait," Romulus urged, holding up a hand.

"When does it get good?!"

"Keep your shirt on and let me read."

Romano huffed and plopped back down.

Ludwig had no money for marriage, so he packed his belongings and went out to seek his fortune across the sea. It was a very emotional time for Feliciana.

"Chigi, I don't believe this!"

"Does your mother know you use that kind of language?"

Feliciana held back a sob as she hugged Ludwig tightly. He would be away for months, even a year! How could she live without him? "I'm afraid I'll never see you again," she whimpered.

"Of course you vill," Ludwig said, trying to reassure her.

"But what if something happens to you?"

Ludwig brushed a hand through her hair, like he'd done so many times since that wonderful day. "Listen to me now - I vill always come for you."

Tears gathered in Feliciana's eyes. "But how can you be sure?!"

"Zhis is true love. Do you zhink zhis happens everyday?" Ludwig smiled and they shared one last lingering, passionate kiss before he left.

Feliciana didn't know a lot of things that would one day change her life. She didn't know that a pirate ship roamed the seas, or that King Berwald was dying of an unknown disease and that his younger brother and heir to the throne, Prince Matthias, was looking for a wife. She also didn't know about a trio of mercenaries (a Turkish criminal mastermind, a Spanish fencer and a Russian giant to be exact) or that Prince Matthias' counselor, the dangerous and brilliant Count Kirkland, had heard tales of the beautiful peasant maid who lived alone and unbetrothed on a farm...

Psh, who needs a prince when you can have a pirate king?! XD Obviously, this is a parody of the Princess Bride, one of the greatest stories ever. I suggest reading the book AND watching the movie. Cuz both are awesome, just sayin'.