The years passed swiftly. They were happy together and serious arguments were rare. They smiled proudly when Erin graduated from medical school with high honors. She married and they moved into Hawk's ancestral home to begin their live together, taking over the practice when Hawkeye and BJ retired. Life was good. They spent their retirement years fishing and taking long walks on the beach.
It was summer again as BJ woke up. He laid in bed for a few minutes before rolling over to plant a soft kiss on Hawkeye's check. Hawkeye stirred and pulled Beej down for a longer kiss. "Good Morning, Beej." He mumbled.
"Good Morning." BJ replied, pulling back.
Hawk protested, wrapping his hands around BJ's neck, preventing him from pulling away. He took BJ's lips in another kiss, this one tender but romantic. BJ groaned and kissed him back, the spark always just below the surface catching fire.
Hawkeye pushed, rolling them over pressing BJ down onto his back. He took BJ's lips in another long, passionate kiss then pulled back slightly. "Not tired or bored of this are we?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.
It took BJ a minute before he realized Hawkeye was referring to their wedding night so many years ago when BJ had asked if they would ever get tired of each other. BJ smiled. "No we aren't – I love you."
"I love you, Beej."
Over an hour later, bodies tingling in the afterglow, BJ's stomach growled loudly.
Hawk laughed. "Sounds like you need a little nourishment there, Beej. Why don't you make us some breakfast?"
"I made breakfast yesterday . . . and lunch and dinner. When's your turn to cook?"
"I'll treat us to dinner tonight. Besides, MY stomach isn't growling!"
"Fine but you aren't welching on dinner this time!" He leaned over to kiss Hawkeye lightly on the lips then got out of bed and pulled on his bathrobe, tying the belt around his waist. "I'll shower first than make us some breakfast. You've got about 30 minutes." He leaned down for another quick kiss then left the bedroom.
He wandered down the hall into the bathroom to shower and dress then headed into the kitchen and got the breakfast going – Hawk's famous French toast. Several years ago they had sold Hawkeye's house and moved into a smaller house, a Ranch – the stairs had become too difficult for the two of them.
Thirty-five minutes later breakfast was ready and Hawkeye still hadn't joined him. "Hawk, come here – breakfast is ready."
No response.
BJ waited another few minutes than walked back down the hall to the bedroom mumbling under his breath about all the things they had been late to over the years because of Hawkeye. The only thing the man had ever been on time for was surgery.
BJ stopped in the doorway to their bedroom. Hawkeye was lying on the bed just as BJ had left him. But something was wrong. It took BJ a minute to realize that Hawkeye's chest wasn't rising and falling. BJ moved hesitantly to the bed and reached out to touch Hawkeye's bare arm. It was still warm but starting to cool. He checked Hawkeye's wrist – no pulse.
He ran to the phone and called Erin – she answered on the 3rd ring. She was at the house ten minutes later but it was already too late – the heart compressions and CPR didn't work. His beloved Hawkeye was gone. He died in their home in the bed they'd shared.
Four days later he buried his beloved Hawkeye. The last of their Mash friends (Radar, Klinger, and Margaret) and even Nurse Kelly and Nurse Able came along with seemingly the entire town of Crabapple Cove to attend Hawkeye's funeral and pay their respects. BJ and the other Mash friends chose to honor Hawkeye in the best way they knew how. BJ wore Hawkeye's infamous Hawaiian shirt and cowboy hat, Margaret wore a pair of Groucho glasses (she had learned from Erin some years back about Hawkeye's will), Radar wore a black tux and flippers, and Klinger put needle and thread together to design a Klinger original dress and matching parasol to wear for the services. They knew how touched and humored Hawkeye would be with the manner in which they chose to honor him.
BJ felt like he was living in a vacuum. He was inconsolable in his grief. Erin tried to get her dad to move in with her but he flatly refused. He couldn't bring himself to leave the house he had shared with Hawkeye. Everything there was a reminder of Hawkeye and the life they had shared and he didn't want to lose that last tenuous hold. BJ's other reason for refusing to leave he kept to himself. He didn't tell others how things would turn up missing then reappear a few days later in a different location, that he would hear Hawk's laugh when he found a misplaced item, nor did he mention the time he swore he heard Hawkeye singing in the shower.
Three months later he woke up with a niggling sense of . . . anticipation. Try as he might he couldn't figure out why. Hawkeye was there with him – BJ could FEEL him all around. He did a little house cleaning then pulled out and reviewed his will. Everything was in order. He hadn't been able to shake the feeling that he had to get it done so he had updated it a week earlier leaving everything to Erin. He left the will on his desk in the study, picked up a stack of photos, and wandered out onto the porch to sit in the porch swing.
He slowly riffled through the photos. There was one of him and Hawkeye taken a few days after he had arrived in Korea. That was followed by one of him dressed up as a clown and Hawkeye dressed up as Superman – that must have been Halloween. The next one showed Hawkeye in his surgical whites with his hair dyed red, BJ leaning against him dressed all in red with his hair also dyed red. The next one was of BJ and Hawkeye hugging on the helipad – saying goodbye. There was one of him and Hawkeye arms wrapped around each other on the beach, another one of them in their tuxes on their wedding night. At the bottom of the stack was a recent photo taken just a few months ago of them sitting together on the porch swing laughing.
BJ sighed. "I miss you, Hawk – more than I ever thought possible. Why did you leave me?"
"I didn't leave, I've been here the whole time you know."
"Hawkekye?" BJ looked around but Hawkeye wasn't there. "Hawkeye . . . where are you?"
"I'm right here. Come join me, Beej."
"I'm tired, Hawk. I'm so tired and lonely without you."
"I know but its okay, Beej. Just lay back and close your eyes and I'll be there."
BJ laid back on the porch swing, his right hand still holding the photographs clutched to his chest and closed his eyes. His mind was flooded with memories. He recalled the first time he met Hawk all those years ago at Kimpo in Korea, the first time he got sick and Hawkeye held him, the OR sessions together, the pranks and chess games, a heart-breaking goodbye when the war finally ended, seeing him again back in the states a year later, the first time they kissed, his despair watching Hawk walk out of their bedroom the night of his parents' fateful visit, wrestling each other for the last piece of French toast, their honeymoon trip to Hawaii and the days spent lazing on the beach, the nights spent wrapped in each other's arms, the birthdays and anniversaries they shared. A peace and happiness filled his heart as a smile came across his face and he closed his eyes.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Erin had woken early that morning with the sense that something was off. It niggled at her relentlessly even after she arrived at work and saw her first patient. She had mentioned it to her husband but he had assured her everything was fine. But everything wasn't fine.
After she saw a few patients she checked with the receptionist. It was a slow day – Crabapple Cove was healthy right now. She decided to close the office early. At her desk she picked up the phone to call her dad – maybe she could get him out of the house long enough to go to lunch. He was so lost since Daddy Hawk had died. The phone rang and rang. Erin set the phone back in the cradle after the 20th ring, the niggling feeling she had woken up with now stronger than ever.
She grabbed her purse and keys and left the office, driving quickly to her dad's house. She parked at the curb and got out of the car, seeing her dad lying in the porch swing. He didn't stir as she approached him.
He was just sleeping, Erin thought. That was why he hadn't picked up the phone. He's not sleeping well so he probably didn't hear the ringing phone. That's all it was, Erin thought. Only she didn't really believe that. She approached the porch swing, stopping right in front of it. Her dad had a smile on his face and clutched in his hand were pictures of him and Daddy Hawk.
She reached for his wrist, feeling for a pulse. There wasn't one and his wrist was already cool to the touch. Erin smiled even as the tears rolled down her face. She laid her head down on her dad's chest, hugging him one last time.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
BJ felt so light and happy and carefree. He knees didn't ache and the arthritis was gone from those surgeon fingers of his. He started as he looked down at his fingers – the wrinkles were gone and his skin was fresh and smooth. He was just starting to ponder this when he was startled by a beloved voice and footsteps coming towards him.
"Welcome home, Beej."
He looked up to see Hawkeye walking towards him, wearing black jeans and a t-shirt. He was beaming, flashing one of his trademark smiles, his armss held out wide in a welcoming hug. He looked as he had when they first met all those years ago in Korea.
BJ walked into those welcoming arms, laughing and crying. Yes, he was home.
The End