The Trial,
A story by stealacandy
Table of Contents:
Prologue: The Lord knows you are not unintelligent
Chapter 1: 1st Trial: Can't you say something intelligent for a change?
Chapter 2: 2nd Trial: Miscarriage? Isn't that what witches have after Malfoy beats them?
Chapter 3: 3rd Trial: Et tu?
Chapter 4: 4th Trial: And Justice for All
Epilogue: Yet More Trials: Aftermath - I was under the Imperius when I wrote this!
The Trial, chapter no. 3
By stealacandy
Disclaimer: There's an old joke, about two people, a Yale graduate and a Redneck, applying for a job and having to write a quick poem. Or perhaps it's a drunk white and black men in a bar, fighting over who's smarter. Or maybe they were both poets, who coincidentally died at the same time, only at the Pearly Gates St. Peter tells them he's sorry, they're quite full, there's only an opening for one poet at the time, why don't the other try his luck in Hell?
Either way, they are asked to each write a poem ending with the word 'Timbuktu', which is a town in some god-forsaken sub-Saharan land, for those of you who don't know, and has lot of hairy camels around it.
Well, the first guy think a little, then recites his poem:
"I gaze upon the desert sands,
And dream of far off foreign lands,
A caravan comes into view,
Destination... Timbuktu"
But the second guy insists his poem is better. So he, too, recites his poem:
"Tim and I a hunting went,
spied three maidens in a tent,
Since they were three and we were two,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two"
The point of this story? Well, JKR made multi-million $$$ from writing Harry Potter, Tim may have bucked to, but I don't even have two bucks to rob together to show for my efforts in providing the fan community with high-quality Harry Potter fanfiction.
I'd say it sucks, but I don't want JKR's lawyers to claim I'm eliciting sexual favours as a reward or payment for my writing.
3rd Trial: Et tu?
"In the case of the Ministry of Magic against Potter, Harry James, Harry Potter is accused of casting an Unforgivable curse at Bellatrix Lestrange. Judges are Cornelius Fudge, Ministry of Magic, Dolores Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, and Amelia Bones, Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Presiding over the trial, Amelia Bones. Court Scribe, Percy Weasley. Witness for the accused, Harry Potter, accused chose to represent himself. Harry Potter, you are charged with casting the Cruciatus Curse on Bellatrix Lestrange, a crime that carries with it a sentence of a lifetime imprisonment in Azkaban Prison. How do you plea?"
'Here we go again,' Harry thought, and stood up to speak.
"Madam," he said, "I find myself, to my great astonishment, quite in agreement with the Minister. Sitting in on several trials a day does grow old. So, to make long things short, I would like to plead not guilty for reasons of the crime not being a crime."
"Not again!" moaned Fudge. "What is it this time? Did Lord... Thingy pop out of the air to put her under the Imperius just before you cruciated her? Do you honestly wish us to believe it?"
"I certainly do not, Minister" said Harry. Then he thought again. "Although, the way you cower at the very mention of his name strongly suggest you actually believe he might do just that - and worse - to you! But no, I'm a rational person, I know what Lord Voldemort can - and cannot do. What I am suggesting is that you are accusing me of, and I quote, 'casting an Unforgivable curse at Bellatrix Lestrange'. Well, it was my understanding the law says that it is an unforgivable crime to cast an Unforgivable curse on an intelligent being, so surely you can see this is not the case."
"But we already established Bellatrix Lestrange is an intelligent being - you admitted it yourself!" cried the Minister, more out of frustration than of anything else.
"We haven't established Bellatrix Lestrange as anything, Minister, nor have I admitted to anything, You asked if I suggested Voldemort popped out of the air - which he did, in fact, do - and put Mrs. Lestrange under the imperius right before I supposedly cast the the cruciatus at her. I do not know if he did or did not, we won't know for certain until such a time the Ministry of Magic has her in custody, although, based on your past successes, I doubt that would be any time this century - or even the next. I said I didn't suggest Lord Thingy, as you call him, Imperiused her right before I supposedly cruciated her. And I certainly did no such thing either. But that is not what I said, Minister. The law, as I stated, speaks about casting Unforgivables ON people, or intelligent being at least, or cursing people WITH the Unforgivables. But you just accused me of casting one AT someone, which is not a crime as the law states it. So you should find me not guilty. Then you can get the Wizengamot if you wish - you already have them assembled here - to decree it a crime to cast them at intelligent beings to your heart's content."
"Mr. Potter," said Madam Bones, "This is not how things work, the wizengamot doesn't just convene and passes laws at the Minister's convenience."
"It is not?" cried Harry. "It certainly appeared that way, what with Fudge removing Dumbledore, passing all sorts of insane decrees, ordering the Dementor Kiss to Sirius Black - who was never so much as charged with a crime, small or insignificant as it might be, let alone convicted of anything serious - killing Barty Crouch, Sending Rubeus Hagrid to Azkaban for crimes committed by Lucius Malfoy - which the Minister excused stating only that "the Minister should look like he's doing something," - and so on. How on Earth am I supposed to defend myself at this court it I don't even know the law?"
"That is your problem, Mr. Potter," said the Minister, a sneer now marring his already usually ugly face. "You were offered a witness for the defence by the court, you turned the offer down."
"Of course I turned the offer down." Harry heatedly replied, exasperated. "I never met, let alone spoke, with that 'Witness for the Defence", I don't know the first thing about him. In fact, I don't even know, to this moment, his name! I just dueled Voldemort, got a killing headache and went back to Hogwarts to sleep it out. I wake up and the first thing I know is a bunch of Aurors arresting me and taking away my wand. The next thing I know I'm in a prison cell, in seclusion, and the only person I see is that nasty piece of work, that auror Dawlish, which is one of those sycophants that are drawn to Minister Fudge like moths to the fire, being glued ever so closely to his backside..."
"Why are you referring to the Minister's bottom, Mr. Potter?" asked Madam Bones.
"I wasn't, ma'am, I was talking about how Mr. Dawlish was always there to protect the Minister's back - the Minister seem to think he deserves and requires quite a few of those, except when he decides to kill someone, then he conveniently brings dementors as guards instead of wizards. Anyway, Mr. Dawlish always protects Mr. Fudge, and does his bidding, except for when he's on leave so he could torment me in my prison cell. And so, I'm in my cell, being tormented on occasion, until the aurors come again and drag me here. That is no way of justice that I know of. For all I know, they got some yay-saying fool to just agree with all the accusations and plead guilty as charged, not let me testify for my defence, and have me tossed to Azkaban prison to be collected later by Lord Voldemort at his leisure.
"Last year they put me in a full criminal trial for a supposed misdeed that should have merited a disciplinary hearing at best, was based on false information after false information, and was in its base a conspiracy to discredit me, take my wand away and leave me open to attack - after Dolores Umbridge's first attempt to murder me failed because I had a wand and knew how to use it - and after Fudge's attempt to take that wand away and snap it was stalled by Albus Dumbledore who reminded him it was not his responsibility to do so, nor was it within his power. And that all only weeks after I witnessed Lord Voldemort's resurrection at the hand of a Death Eater whom Fudge insisted wasn't amongst the living nor has ever been numbered among the Death Eaters' ranks.
"Also after all the Death Eaters have apparated to his side, including several I saw in close relationships with the Minister, and some more that his Senior Undersecretary Umbridge boasted of being very close to him and very helpful to the Ministry - meaning the Minister, of course, not the government as a whole - and having dueled Voldemort, with my wand being my only protection.
"And so I received a trial, and the Ministry of magic didn't even bother to inform me in advance that I was to receive a trial, nor to inform me at the time or place - I only found out after the fact, from hearsay in the Ministry building that I was being given a trial, and luckily I arrived early the day of my scheduled hearing to get the tour of the place, so I rushed to the courtroom and immediately was accused of being late, and Fudge even had the temerity to claim it wasn't the Ministry's fault! He was about to begin questioning me when Albus Dumbledore arrived, out of breath - apparently, he wasn't sent any notice, either - and volunteered himself as my witness - I didn't even know, up until that moment, there were such things as witnesses for the defence.
"Then Cornelius Fudge, who ostensibly was a presiding judge, commenced to question me as if he was the prosecutor, and several times stated that the testimonies clearing me were doubtful - I've no idea why, other than they did not fit his agenda - even though Madam Bones, who's supposed to be the Law Enforcement expert, said they were very convincing.
Even so, after all that, only a few people short of half the members of the Wizengamot voted to find me guilty! With absolutely no cause! And don't forget, Dolores Umbridge was behind the attempted murder that lead to me protecting myself with magic, but of course the Ministry of Magic, having established Dementors were where they shouldn't be and trying to kill innocent people, refused to look into the matter, and so that awful woman went on from there to become Defence against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts, personally appointed by Cornelius Fudge rather than by Albus Dumbledore, albeit not being in any way qualified for the job.
"At Hogwarts, between using her authority, first as a professor at Hogwarts, and later as the infamous Hogwarts Inquisitor, to torture me with magic - and that long months before Minister Fudge passed the decree allowing her to physically torture little children into law - to make several other attempts on my life, two of which she also admitted to, stating that the Ministry of Magic held no value to my life.
"Then Death Eaters trapped me, hurt my friends badly, killed my Godfather, and I got to duel Voldemort - again - I lost count already how many times we fought these past five years, I hurt him enough to run away, and then I'm all of a sudden arrested and brought up on charges? What was I supposed to think? Based on y own experience I wouldn't have put it past the Minister - and the Ministry under him- and I certainly wouldn't put it past Voldemort. Indeed Lucius Malfoy already admitted as much, fessing to lying and accusing me of said crimes on his Master's behalf.
"I wasn't going to take any chance with that. If I'm going on trial, than by God, I would defend myself, given the opportunity to prepare or not.
"Now, this trial once again is in the wrong. Once you dismiss it, you may, or may not, assemble and declare casting unforgivables at people a crime, I don't care. Even if you do, you couldn't prosecute me for it, due to double jeopardy, ex post facto, take your pick." Harry sat back down in his chair.
"Very well, Mr. Potter," Amelia sighed. "Harry Potter, in the case of casting an Unforgivable curse AT Bellatrix Lestrange, this court finds you not guilty, due to it not being a crime. Court dismissed." she hit the counter with her hammer.
"Wait!" cried Dolores Umbridge urgently. "This Double Jeopardy means we can't put the brat on trial for casting the Cruciatus at Bella, I think, right? We still can bring him on charges for casting it ON here!" she looked around, triumphantly.
Amelia Bones was frustrated, but she nevertheless turned to look inquiringly at Minister Fudge. He nodded his head.
"Oh dear," she sighed. "In the case of the Ministry of Magic against Potter, Harry James, Harry Potter is accused of casting an Unforgivable curse at - ah - on - Bellatrix Lestrange. Judges are Cornelius Fudge, Ministry of Magic, Dolores Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, and Amelia Bones, Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Presiding over the trial, Amelia Bones. Court Scribe, Percy Weasley. Witness for the accused, Harry Potter, accused chose to represent himself." She looked at Harry. "I assume you still wish to represent yourself, Mr. Potter?"
"Yes, your Honour, nothing changed from before, the way I see it."
"Indeed," was all she said. Then she continued. "Harry Potter, you are charged with casting the Cruciatus Curse on - ah, - Bellatrix Lestrange, a crime that carries with it a sentence of a lifetime imprisonment in Azkaban Prison. How do you plea?"
A/N:
I would like to thank Shana who first wrote to tell me what spells Harry used in the Ministry of Magic and why, and, after a further inquiry from me, who and what he used them on, too. Many thanks, Shana. Many thanks also go to Andrew who sent me an e-text of OotP, and to Sandy, who sent me e-version of the first 5 Harry Potter books. She didn't have the last two, but those are the five that matter, anyway. Thank you once again, both of you. Chapter 4 will be up shortly - just as soon as I figure up how exactly the Ministry expert is going to describe that part.
P.S. (2014) According to common wisdom, Harry's second year at Hogwarts is the academic year of 92-93, making Order of the Phoenix take place between 95 and 96, and placing The Trial in the spring of 1996, so the same century (the 20th) only had 3 and a half years to go. Oddly enough, in canon Harry Potter Lestrange was brought down before the century ended - albeit not by the Ministry of Magic, so perhaps it's not all that odd, after all.