After dinner, Black pulled N away from another brewing argument with Cheren. "Do you want to visit your castle, now?" he asked quietly.

N swallowed, but after a moment of thought he nodded.

"Alright." Turn to Cheren and Alder, Black spoke up. "N and I are going down to see N's castle. We might be a while, so don't worry if we're not back by dark."

Cheren did not look pleased, but Alder shrugged. "That's fine. The police have long since taken all the evidence they need, so I doubt you could do any harm in there. Just be careful."

"Got it." Taking N's hand, Black led them down into the desert behind the Pokemon League where the massive palace still stood. Tattered yellow police tape was still hanging around, but they were able to slip under it easily and climb through a shattered window.

The halls were dusty and much more drab than Black had remembered. Paper peeling, sun-bleached from destruction of abandon and decay. Much of the furniture was either missing or broken; probably from vandalism. Black remembered there being quite a backlash after the truth had emerged. Angered trainers who had released their pokemon demanded retribution. The police had tried keeping them out of the castle, but a few still managed, breaking valuable evidence and stealing. Such a shame, Black thought to himself. There was a chill in the air from the wind blowing through cracked windows and shattered balcony doors.

As they approached N's room, Black felt his hand clamp more tighly around his own.

"Are you okay, N?" he asked. "We don't have to go in. I don't want to upset y-"

"No, I... I missed my room, and I really want to play with you, Black. I'm just... a little scared." Black placed his hand on the doorknob.

"I'm here, N. There is nothing to be afraid of."

When N nodded slowly, Black opened the door and they stepped in. For a moment they were met with only darkness, but automatically N found the light switch and flipped it. The room lit up, and from somewhere a music box began to play.

Though covered in dust, it remained unchanged from the first and last time Black had seen it. Perhaps the vandals had been too disturbed to touch this place? Black could understand if that was the case. It looked like the perfect child's room at first, but upon closer inspection, the distortions became apparent. Only one basketball hoop, an unused skateboard ramp that was too steep, the door with only a lock on the outside, and posters of complicated fractals on the back wall. Last but not least– not a single window. The glaringly bright colours and too-slow tinkling music began to paint a nightmarish picture, and Black felt his stomach turn even more than it had back then. This place was worse than a jail cell, he could not help but think.

Looking up at N, Black tried to decipher his blank stare, but was unable to. After a long moment, N let go of Black's hand and walked farther into the room. Without a sound, he knelt down in the center of the wrecked train set, but did nothing more. Stomach rolling again, Black shut the door behind him and stepped over to N.

"Do you want to leave?"

N shook his head jerkily. "I just realized.." he said with a fragile laugh. Looking back over his shoulder, he smiled at Black with tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. "I don't know how to play with other people."

Taking a deep breath, Black sat down and pulled N into his arms. "That's ok. We'll learn as we go along." He was not talking just about playing.

Both boys picked up their own train piece. N was first to place it along the bent, dusty track, pushing it up the connected plastic slope. Black hesitantly placed his along another piece and pushed it back and forth, unsure of what to do. He was a bit uncomfortable here, playing in a vastly abandoned castle, on a broken train set, alone sans the one other individual in the world he felt like he cared about. It was almost ironic, or symbolic, or at least significant. For a moment, it made Black wonder if he was somehow dooming himself, falling for such a damaged person. He hated all forms of failure; was this self-sabotage? Setting himself up for failure? Was his subconscious doing this to him on purpose? Was this all some sort of elaborate plan made up in his mind to break him down, disguised as affection?

"Black..." a concerned voice murmured, snapping him out of his daze. "Why did you stop?"

The dark haired boy looked down and noticed he had stopped moving his train set.

"Uhh.. Sorry, N." Black rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I was kinda lost in thought for a moment."

N scooted closer, rolling his train along until it bumped lightly into Black's. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing important. I'll pay attention." He paused. "It must have been so lonely here, day in and day out."

"I had my pokemon friends. Unless Father wanted me to be alone. Sometimes I was bad and he had to punish me."

Black flinched, but moved on. "Were you at least allowed to walk around the castle?"

N shook his head. "Not unless Father wanted me to go somewhere else. I was allowed outside sometimes, though! There was a dense garden in the back. If I was really good, my friends and I could stay out there for a while." The green-haired boy picked up the train and nervously spun the wheels. "Sometimes I thought about running away. Well, dreamed about it, really, because I knew better; I was never stupid like that, but I might have done some stupid things, which is why I usually wasn't allowed out of my room, and why I deserved to be punished, because kings are never supposed to cry and are always supposed to listen and to never question anything that people in authority tell them, no matter what, no matter what any-"

Black placed his hand on N's to stop him from chattering so idly. The older boy's hand froze, and a tear fell down his cheek.

"I'm sorry... this place is just bringing up a lot of... strange feelings..." Black chewed on his lip as he quickly fought to come up with something to cheer him up. He was afraid of this happening.

"Then how about we go somewhere that brings up good feelings?" he asked, rubbing N's hand to calm him down. "How about the garden? I'm sure you have plenty of good memories there!" N went quiet for a moment before speaking.

"I'd really... like to go to my mother's room, if that's okay. I only got to visit once after she disappeared, and I got caught pretty quickly."

"Of course we can go there." Black stood up with N and followed him back out into the hall. They walked through the lavish corridors for a long while, and Black was impressed by how well N remembered where to go.

At last he stopped before a door, and did not move. Black wondered what to do for a moment before cautiously stepping forward and trying the handle. It was locked.

"Do you want me to break the door?" he asked, thinking that it certainly looked fragile enough.

N said nothing for a moment before nodding.

Black sized up the door, then delivered a well-placed kick as hard as he could. Painful vibrations shot up his leg, but the door swung inward.

Letting N go first, Black slowly followed. It was a large room, with delicate lace and floral patterns everywhere. Black's first impression was that it was the kind of room that belonged to a very gentle and kind person. He did not fail to notice that like N's room, there was a keyhole lock only on the outside of the door, and there were no windows. Another pretty cage.

N wandered around, peering through the thick layers of dust at various embroidery projects laying about the fancy furniture, and watercolour paintings of flowers and pokemon. Eventually he sat down at the vanity and looked through the drawers and jewelry boxes.

Feeling extremely out of place, Black considered leaving the room when N called to him, holding up an ornate picture frame.

"Look, Black! It's Mother and Father when they were young!"

"Oh?" Undeniably interested, Black headed over and looked at it. Standing in the old photo was a beautiful young girl with wild, tea green hair and the same kind of soft, blank expression N wore so often, while next to her was a much younger Ghetsis, his expression as haughty as ever. "You look just like her, N. She's very lovely. Were they..." Was this term even possible to use with Ghetsis in the mix? "Childhood sweethearts?"

"No, they were siblings. The last two Harmonias left in the bloodline."

It took several moments for this information to sink into Black's head. "Wait... siblings..? But this is your mother and father..."

"Yes." N cocked his head to the side. "Why are you so pale suddenly?"

Black opened his mouth, then closed it, rethinking. There was no delicate way to handle this, and he wondered if he should even bother telling N that incest was wrong and disgusting and that it was miraculous that he was alright in spite of it. Looking back at the empty-eyed girl in the photograph, Black wondered how and why she had died (even if N thought she had just disappeared), and what kind of life she had lived. It was no stretch of the imagination to picture her misery at Ghetsis's hands, especially when knowing N's.

Deciding to put it behind them, Black took the frame from N and opened it up.

"What are you doing?" N exclaimed when Black began tearing the photograph down the middle. His protests faded when he was handed back the half which now only contained his mother. He looked like he wanted to say something more, but he did not.

"I know this may sound harsh, or impossible, but N... I want you to forget those memories of your father. I don't care how long it takes you. I will help you, N. I will do whatever it takes. I want you to have nothing but happy memories. It's impossible, I know, but... I want to give you as many good memories as I can, to ease... hell, to erase all those bad ones." Crumpling up his half, Black stuffed it into his pocket to destroy later. He pointed to the photo N now held in his hands.

"I want you to carry with you, okay, N?" he continued. "Remember all those times with her, and me, and your pokemon friends. I know it's hard, but I feel like any little effort is going to help you. Is that too much to ask of you? I'd understand if you said yes..."

N contemplated the question for a moment as he stared at the photo of his mother. His eyes were still hazed over with tears, but a distant smile was growing across his cheeks. Black detected very little sorrow as he eyed the portrait.

"I'll try, Black. I really want to try. I like the feeling I get when I think about her..." Black smiled with him.

"I'm glad." N delicately folded up the picture and put it in his pocket. After looking over her room for one last moment, he headed towards the door.

"Can we visit the gardens now, Black?" N asked, his mood considerably brighter. Black nodded in agreement.

"Sure! The front steps are pretty messed up, though. Do you know a back exit?"

"Uh-huh! Let's go!" Grasping Black's hand once more, the two set out down the long hallway once more, passing door after door that lined the walls. The doorways that had been opened revealed only empty rooms. Black couldn't help but wonder what they had been used for.

Before they reached a stairway, N halted in front of a lavish, closed door that stood higher than the others. He let go of Black's hand and stared, his eyes widened in awe.

"N, is everything okay?" the brown-haired boy inquired.

Without answering, N opened the door and strode inside.

Confused and concerned, Black followed. This was by far the most extravagant room he had ever seen, with every last inch covered in gold and silver and silk and gem stones. It was huge and gaudy and it did not take a genius to guess who it had belonged to. Feeling somewhat ill, Black watched N slowly move about, looking but never touching. Then at last he stopped at the bed, almost carefully reaching down to brush his fingers against the velvet comforter. He began to shake.

"N?" Black whispered, walking over to him. "Are you alright?"

Just as he touched N's shoulder, the older boy jumped back in fright, as though he had forgotten Black was there. His eyes were wild with a sudden terror, and he hunched over, one hand clamped over his mouth and his other arm wrapped around his stomach.

Alarmed, Black reached out again, but this time N shrieked.

"Don't touch me!" Stumbling back, he ran into the bedside table, knocking a long red candle in an ornate candelabra over. When N caught sight of it, even more blood drained from his face. In the next instant he had bolted from the room.

That sick feeling in Black's stomach grew ten-fold as he chased after him. God, how could he let him go into that room? He should've known... the boy mentally kicked himself for his cluelessness. He caught a glimpse of N's bedroom door slamming shut and quickly ran towards it. Please don't be crying, please don't be crying...

Black cracked the door open slowly to prevent scaring the other boy further. But as he listened in, he noticed that N was not scared. He was not bawling, as expected. As he heard a loud snap of plastic cracking, it was now perfectly clear that he was seeing a side of N he had never seen before.

The boy stepped in silently, closing the door behind him softly enough to barely make a creak. Black said nothing as he watched N destroy everything he thought he had held dear to him. Throwing his trains against the wall until they broke into small pieces. Kicking every stuffed toy, ball, and play track he could find as he screamed, tears rolling down his face as his expression was frozen in utter anguish and anger. Block towers that stood after all this time knocked to the floor with one fluid motion, savagely punted across the cloudy carpet and scattered throughout his childhood prison.

The tinkering music from the music box suddenly became very obvious to Black as he saw N walk towards it. The older boy picked it up and listened for a brief moment before throwing it, the hinges snapping and its contents littering amongst the other broken toy pieces. The music wavered, then slowed, and ceased.

And then, it was silent, as N eye's met Black's across the room, with more pain than he had ever remembered seeing before.

Bawling, panting, completely out of breath, N looked down to the floor and noticed a faint red blood stain, forcing all the memories he fought to ignore, to forget, back into his mind like a hard blow to the head. He collapsed to his knees in bitter sobs, running his fingers through his hair and pulling until his scalp burned.

Black stared with a mixture of horror and despair. "N.. Stop. Stop..! N, STOP IT!" Rushing over, Black pinned N to the floor with his whole body and held his wrists down on either side of his thrashing head. N screamed and kicked hysterically, but Black shouted over him.

"CALM DOWN! N, IT'S ME! I'M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU! JUST CALM DOWN BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF! N! OPEN YOUR EYES! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!"

As if a switch had been turned off, N went still and looked up at Black like he had woken up for the very first time. "I'm sorry, Black," he whispered. "I really tried to forget, but..." His eyes narrowed, looking pained. "It was all a lie..."

"You're right, N. You're right. Now please, just listen to me! Nothing anyone has ever done to you would make me care less about you. Nothing. I don't care if you have scars; I don't want you to be ashamed about anything. You are perfect to me, N. That is all that matters. I don't care what that bastard told you. None of it is true. I love you, not your past or who someone else thinks you are. You. Do you understand?" Black was breathing heavily, wrestling with the taller boy proving difficult for such a smaller-bodied person. He wanted to talk until his voice gave out... anything to reassure N. He fought back tears from gathering along his eyelids as he looked down at the boy he loved.

"N sniffled and shook his head. "I don't understand. How can you love me when I'm so flawed? All the times I couldn't please Daddy.. I was too weak, too stupid... I cried and defied him and was never able to fully submit like he wanted. Sometimes I was too tight, or I didn't respond well, and I was always such a coward when he punished me... I'll certainly disappoint you." N looked away as if ashamed. "The only one who was nice enough to love me was Daddy... he put up with me, told me he loved me, even after all those years of being so bad... and all I was was ungrateful. What makes you think I won't be ungrateful with your 'love,' Black?"

Black relaxed his hold on N and sat up. "N, if you are still convinced that is love, then I want you to do it to me."

N suddenly looked confused and slightly bewildered as Black stood up. "H-Huh...?"

"If what he did to you was love, you should have no problem doing it to me." N shakily stood up on his feet, still trembling.

"But Black... I'm afraid I'll hurt you..."

"I doubt he even considered that. Now show me."

N hesitated for a long moment, his limbs continuing to shake as he looked deep in thought. Then suddenly, without warning, Black felt long fingers wrap around his neck as he was shoved violently against the wall. Stars dotted his vision as his skull cracked against the paneling. As those spindly digits started to constrict his windpipe, the boy suddenly felt a rush of terror, trapped, his fight-or-flight response maddeningly on edge. He squirmed, but the grip only tightened, and his breaths squeaked out of his constricted neck in high squeaks.

"Your flaws are a disgrace," N stated coldly; Black could only detect a hint of annoyance in his otherwise stoic facade. "I only do this out of love, N. Because I want you to be perfect, like I know you can be." A free hand traveled between his legs and toyed with the belt buckle. As much as Black assured himself that this was N, someone he cared deeply for, someone who would never intentionally hurt him... the blatant fear was still coursing through his veins, and he only writhed harder.

His belt was halfway free when N stopped, quaking harder. Then tears fell as if a faucet had been turned on as he fell to his knees, sobbing once more.

"I... can't do this...!" he cried. "I don't want to do this...!" Black knelt down to him, his heart still pumping madly from adrenaline. He couldn't imagine being placed in that position at any other time, expecting the punishment, the pain... he felt that he was only beginning to understand the extent to which he was damaged.

"You said it yourself, N. It was all a lie. Do you know why you couldn't hurt me? Because your feelings are sincere. The things he asked of you were abusive and evil. It wasn't love, so you weren't ungrateful. You were being deceived, and used. I believe that love is selfless, N. If you love me, even though you might not understand that emotion, that's all there needs to be."

N stared tiredly off to the side, and Black hope he had heard. "What am I supposed to do?" he whispered after a long silence. "My whole life.. I don't know where to begin, now."

"You already have. It started when you flew off on Reshiram after opening your eyes and throwing away the shackles Ghetsis put on you. And now you're with me. I'll be right with you every step of the way. Whatever you need, whatever you want, I'll try to be that for you."

N looked up at him. "I still don't understand why you chose me, but... thank you, Black..."

"I love you. There's no need to thank me." Laying down next to N, he absently rubbed his neck and tried not to focus on the anger that threatened to bubble over inside him. He reached down and began to fasten his belt back up when a hand was placed over his.

"Don't," N said softly as he sat up, pulling the belt away and undoing Black's pants.

"N... What are you doing?" Despite his uncertainty, Black held still as N slid his hand down into his underwear.

"Initiating sex," was N's simple reply.

Fighting the urge to smack his own forehead, Black shuddered when N began stroking him. "Here? Now?"

N slowly nodded and with his free hand pulled down his own pants before straddling Black's waist. "Here. Now."

"I don't know if I can-" Black was silenced by N's soft lips pressing against his own. For a moment, it was sweet, and the younger boy felt his heart melt. But they suddenly turned feverish, and the boy struggled to find air as the other's tongue practically forced his lips apart. A warm flush of crimson overtook his face; he was hardening almost instantly. A part of him felt this was wrong somehow... but judging by N's eager ambitions, he assured himself it was some sort of strange healing process.

N moaned and stroked Black's cock quickly as the boy beneath him pushed up his shirt.

"I want to have this last memory here," N murmured, rubbing their erections together. "A truly good memory."

Rocking his hips up into N's, Black smiled. "I understand."

The boy on top wasted little time pulling back and bringing Black's hardness to his mouth, bobbing his head quickly as he flicked his tongue down the sensitive ridge along the back. He took no time to build up speed; instead, he sucked as hard and fast as he could manage, only wanting to prepare him for things to come. Pleasure was only an afterthought. Black didn't know this, judging by the voluminous moans coming from his own mouth.

Clutching N's hair, Black gasped and groaned. "Oh god... N, please... It's t-too much..!"

Sitting up again, N cried out as he took Black inside himself. He winced in pain, but took no time to adjust before moving.

"N..!" Black hissed and arched up. "What are you..? You'll hurt yourself!"

Shaking his head, N threaded his fingers through Black's and held on tight as he thrust up and down. "F-feels good..!" he panted. "So good... Black...!"

N continued to rock himself at a frenzied pace against the boy under him, crying out whenever he felt his cock reach the hilt. Black tried to concentrate on the pleasure, attempting to assure himself that N needed this; his cries almost sounded pained and it worried him. Still, what he was doing with his hips, rolling onto him with every thrust... it was near maddening.

Laying on the cloud-patterned floor in this wrecked and abandoned cell, Black watched his lover sob and moan, his cock throbbing.

"Let me touch you, N," he pleaded, pulling one hand away from N's. Black rubbed the tip of his erection and groaned as N nearly screamed.

"Black..! O-oh! If.. If you do that.. I can't... I can't...!"

"Try to... hold back..." Black panted as he let his hands travel up the other boy's chest, exploring every inch with his fingertips. "I want you... to feel good, N..."

As he traveled over his chest and brushed against sensitive nipples, he felt N's body squirm above him as he continued to wail. The feeling of his skin was almost addicting, smooth with a slight sheen of sweat... he was getting so close... almost unconsciously, Black's hands grabbed N's ass firmly and set the pace, tearing his body against his own with impassioned fervor.

N faltered as Black's movements caused his pleasure center to be hit dead on. Bracing himself on the brunet's chest, he picked up the pace, all pain and discomfort forgotten.

"I can't hold back..!" he gasped out. "It's so good! So good! AAH!"

Throwing his head back against the floor, Black arched up into N's writhing body, his fingers digging into the boy's soft flesh. He opened his mouth to warn N that he could hold on no longer, but all that came out was a loud cry as he fell over the edge.

Stiffening, N keened as he felt Black release inside him. Mere moments later, his body shuddered violently as he followed, collapsing on top of Black.

They laid still for a long moment. N took solace in hearing the beating of Black's heart as he rested his head on his chest, beating rapidly before slowly returning to normal. He smiled; something about that sound comforted him. Perhaps it was the solace in knowing this wasn't a dream, that he was real, laying with him in a room he viewed only as a prison his entire life. Finally, it was something more. Finally, there were more memories here that he could reflect on and smile about.

N finally realized that Black was the only one he ever wanted. No one else mattered to him, and no one else ought to matter to Black.

And with that thought, N fell asleep.