Ginny wrote like 95% of this chapter because Girrrrl has felt uninspired. Go yell at her to get her act together, haha! (just kidding don't to that, but maybe wish her well~?)
Black woke up to the bright glare of the sun shining through the side of their tent. He stirred slowly, sitting up to find N still asleep to his side.
The younger boy sighed. What exactly had happened last night? N had suddenly been so eager to have sex, and it didn't seem so foreign, until...
He shook his head as if it would wish away the memory. Never had the other been so violent towards him, towards himself even. As he looked down at N's sleeping form, Black could almost not believe that only hours beforehand, that peaceful face contorted in what could only be described as pained rage over him.
As much as he wished to ignore it, Black decided to approach the older boy about it. Not until he awoke, of course. N was never in the best of spirits when he was interrupted from his sleep.
A buzz came from his jeans that had been discarded the night before. Black immediately grabbed his ringing xtransceiver, exiting the tent to take the call. It was Alder.
"Black!" the man greeted, smiling warmly in the device's small screen. "How is the training going? Feel like you've been making good progress?"
"Hi Alder," he replied, trying his best to return the gesture with his own. "It's been okay. Had a bit of trouble, but I think it will all be fine."
Alder gave an exaggeratedly curious look, easily picking up the boy's apprehension.
"Hmm, that doesn't sound like good progress. Is N still with you? How is he faring?"
Black pursed his lips as he struggled to come up with the correct response. He certainly couldn't tell him what happened last night, but he trusted the man well enough to tell him a fraction of the truth, at least.
"He's... still struggling to accept the whole battling thing. No big surprise, I guess. It's been kind of hard."
"Ahh, I see..." Alder stroked the end of his chin for a long moment. "Well, not much else to expect from a boy so concerned with 'pokemon liberation!' People don't change overnight!"
"Yeah..." Black's voice was slightly disappointed in tone, even as he fought to sound apathetic about it. A part of him felt guilty for being so disheartened about it, but he couldn't seem to help it. It had been a dream of his to one day become Champion, even if he felt slightly lost along the way. Alder's face became more serious as he realized the boy's true concern.
"I guess the best you can do is talk with him about it and hope he understands. Although, he seems rather hard-headed. But you know him better than I do, I suppose."
"N can be confusing sometimes... but yeah, I think I will do that. Thanks, Alder. I guess I'll see you within the next few days." The man's face suddenly lit up as he smiled once more.
"Ahh, I'd love that! Do drop on over! Cheren's here, too. He's been practicing his battle skills as well. You may have some tough competition!" Black chuckled.
"All right then, I'll have to stop by sooner. Good bye, Alder. Thanks for checking up on me." The off button was pressed and the screen went black.
"Confusing?"
Black nearly jumped as he heard the voice from behind him. He spun around to find N standing in the tent's entranceway, his face hard and puzzled.
"Ohh, g-good morning N!" Black greeted, unable to read his expression. "Did you sleep okay? Did you want some breakfast before we head out?"
"What's so confusing about me?" N asked with the same look, completely ignoring the questions.
"N, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that in a bad way... honestly, I was a little confused by the way you acted last n-"
"You hate me." Black flinched, his eyes wide, taken aback by the older boy's comment.
"W-Wait, what? I don't hate you at all, N! What makes you think that?"
"You didn't want to have sex with me last night."
"Of course I did, you just went... I don't know, crazy or something! Why did you suddenly get so violent last night? You've never acted that was before!"
"Don't you dare call me crazy!" N suddenly snapped. "I am the king of Team Plasma! I was going to rule the new world... I was destined to-"
"N, that was all a lie!" Black interrupted, starting to feel as though he was losing his temper. "Ghetsis told you it was a lie! How hard is that to understand? You were just a pawn in his stupid-"
"I DON'T CARE!" N screamed as tears began to fall from his eyes, stark against a face red with fury. "I don't care if he lied... pokemon still shouldn't be used as tools for your silly battles! What do you even get out of battling? You're so caught up in wanting to own some title that everyone will praise you for, but you don't even care about your pokemon getting hurt. That's selfish!"
Something about hearing N refer to him as "selfish" cracked a piece of Black's sanity. Of all things... the boy probably could've accepted any other insult and dismiss it as naivety. But as the word reached his ears, Black felt his vision go blurry for a moment of pure frustration, nothing but impatience and rage.
"'Selfish?'" the younger boy repeated. "You think I'm selfish? After every single thing that I've done for you... you have the nerve to call me selfish?"
Black ran a hand through his own hair, attempting to keep from blowing up, but the tension only rose when N tried to speak once more.
"You d-"
"No, N," Black shouted as he fought the urge to lash out, his voice so strong and harsh it hurt his own ears. "You don't have any right to call me selfish. I have essentially isolated myself from everyone I care about, fought and stood up for you, put myself in self-destructive situations... I refused to accept advice that I knew deep down was perfectly logical, all so I could try to remain close to you. I've tried everything to keep you safe and feeling secure. So don't you even dare call me selfish! The only one who is selfish is you!"
N's mouth fell open in indignant shock. "Is that how you really feel? You think I'm just a selfish burden? Forgive me for interrupting your social life, Black! I seemed to have foolishly believed that lovers are supposed to belong only to each other! What do you even want from me if all I do is drag you down? I thought I meant more to you than just... something to fuck...!"
The green haired boy's tears seem to fall faster, his heart torn between his feelings for Black and those long-engrained morals he still held true. His frustration had suddenly turned to sorrow as he realized just how much the other's words ripped at him.
"You... you are no different than..." His head turned as his voice lowered. "Daddy..."
"What?" Black bellowed, not even caring that N was nearly sobbing. His mind was now a haze of utter fury, sickened by the fact that the other boy would even consider such a thing. "Don't you ever fucking compare me to that... that sick bastard! How could you, N? How fucking could you? Has everything I done mean nothing to you?"
Suddenly, Black felt as though his knees were made of lead, and he could only sink down and cry. The way they spoke to each other... the apparent desire to hurt the other in both of their words... this wasn't right. But when he heard N call him "selfish," that feeling of unappreciation set him over the edge.
"N..." he said softly, his voice such a contrast to the yells just moments before. "N, do you... do you honestly think that about me...?"
N glared daggers at him, not a hint of remorse in his twisted face. The tears were still beading down his flushed cheeks, still looking so out of place against his angry stare. Without a word he turned and walked towards the entrance of the forest.
"I never should have come with you," the older boy said solemnly with his backed turned. "I never should have trusted anyone. Daddy might have lied, but... he was right. I'm warped and defective. I have no heart, either, and... that makes me incapable of being loved."
"No, N, stop, wait!" Black cried as he rose to his feet, stumbling to walk as his legs still struggled to hold him. "N, how could you say that, that's not-"
Suddenly, he heard a terrified shriek, and Black looked up in a panic. N was on the ground, propped up on his elbows, his eyes locked with a shadowed figure that stood in the shade of the trees. The younger boy's blood ran cold as the person stepped forward and into the light of the sun.
It was Ghetsis.