Chapter Five
"Oh God, what have I done?!" she groaned in her bathroom, rubbing her hands on her face.
Why did she agree for Carlisle to come through her window again? Well, she wanted answers...well, that, and she'd take any opportunity to spend time with him.
She hastily looked at the clock.
11:45
"Dammit!" she cursed, looking at the clothes she drug in the bathroom. At first, she thought maybe she should wear regular clothes, but then she realized that it would be midnight. She shouldn't be wearing jeans or something...then she pulled out her pajamas. Most of them were shorts and tank top sets, and she be damned if she was wearing those in front of him. Oh, and how could she forget? The few grandma gowns that her grandma had gotten her. Yeah, she would totally rock those. Not.
Unfortunately, she didn't have many stretchy pants. Since she didn't work out, and she didn't like how they made her ass look, she never worse them. Currently, she had some pink sweat type capris that literally said, 'PINK' on the ass, that her aunt had gotten her for Christmas. She remembered thinking,
'why the hell did you get me these?' seeing as she was a girl that mostly wore black and tee shirts. She totally would wear hot pink pants that said, 'PINK' on the ass in public. Yeah, right. She supposed it could be worse, it could say, 'BABY GIRL.' or something similar. She doubted she would have kept those – probably would have burned them in the back yard. But anyway, as it was looking, it seemed her only choice. It wouldn't be bad, as long as she didn't get up...if she just sat on the bed and talked the whole time, he'd never see those words. The last thing she wanted was to draw attention to her rear end.
Grumbling, she threw the pink pants on, digging through her shirts. She almost threw on a black tank top, then she started seriously considering her arm fat and took it off. She dug until she found an old, white Nirvana shirt, and threw that over her head.
"And I look like I just rolled out of the trash," she groaned, rubbing her face. Whatever, it wasn't going to get much better than this.
She brushed her hair and teeth for good measure and stared at her face, wincing. It was of course, still bruised to hell and back, and for a moment, she considered putting makeup on. But she was sure Carlisle would want to see if she was healing alright, and he may ask her to take it off anyway.
The longer she stared at her reflection, the more she wondered if Carlisle actually thought she was pretty. She half remembered him saying she was lovely, but she wasn't sure if he actually did or her drug clouded mind just hoped he did.
Sighing to herself, she looked at the clock.
11:55
She quickly grabbed her lotion, putting some mango lotion on her arms, wincing when she rubbed the bruises. She had started to wear perfume, but she didn't want to be too obvious that she sprayed it. He would know she sprayed it for him, who else put perfume on before bed? Lotion, however, made sense. Lots of girls put lotion on before bed.
She was over thinking this.
11:57
She quickly went back into her bedroom, shutting the door and locking it quietly. She made herself hurry, before she lost her nerve and hid in the bathroom all night.
Looking around her room, she double checked to make sure she didn't leave dirty panties or something lying in the floor. God, that would be humiliating.
She sat on her bed, looking at her cracked window. Maybe she should open it all the way? No, she didn't want to seem eager. Also, she probably shouldn't be sitting there looking like she was waiting for him...making a quick decision, she climbed under the covers and turned her TV on, keeping her gaze near the window.
12:00
She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at the television. Luckily, an episode of Supernatural was on, her favorite show. She watched for a while, glancing at the window every now and then.
12:14
She frowned, great...looks like he wasn't coming.
Just as she thought that, her window slid open, making her eyes go wide and shoot up in the bed.
Carlisle was right there, grinning at her as his pale hands grasped the window sill.
"Can I come in?" he asked politely, even though she'd already given him permission.
"Yeah..." she whispered, twisting her hands in her lap as she watched him elegantly climb in the room, closing the window behind him. Much to her surprise, he was wearing jeans, a short sleeved black button up shirt and black shoes. It was the first time she'd seen him in anything but dress clothes. It made him look more approachable.
DAMN, he looks good.
Her eyes widened even more when he elegantly strolled over and sat on the edge of her bed. His eyes were kind and...worried?
"Hi," he said, smiling at her expression.
"Erm – hi," she said dumbly, this suddenly feeling like some teenage movie.
"Are you nervous?" he frowned, looking concerned.
"I – no, it's just I've never had a boy – er – man in my room before...and well, there's Jake," she babbled, unable to stop herself as amusement grew in his eyes. "Well, Jake...I don't really see him as – oh, not that I see you as that! I just meant – you know – he's a...kid...to me."
He laughed lowly, keeping his voice down as she gulped, feeling like an idiot. Well, it was in the middle of the night and an insanely gorgeous man had climbed in through her window and was currently sitting on her bed. She almost had to pinch herself to make sure this wasn't some fantasy she conjured up.
"You don't have to be nervous," he commented, giving her a kind smile. "I have no vile intentions, I assure you."
"..."
"So, um, why didn't you talk to me for two weeks?" she asked, her voice a little high as she nervously tucked her hair behind her ear.
"That's...complicated," he frowned, looking away and running a hand through his feathery hair. "Well...I suppose I did it because I wanted to protect you."
Her eyebrows raised. "Protect me? From what?"
"I don't mean to alarm you, but from me," he said, turning his head and looking at her stunned reaction.
"But, you said you'd never hurt me..." she said a little lowly, her heart rate spiking, even though she knew she still trusted him. What?
"...from me and my world," he said, running his hand through his hand again. "God, if I tell you...I don't want to scare you. There's no guarantee you won't start screaming and I'll have to jump out the window."
She stared at him, then began laughing.
"You aren't going to make me scream," she chuckled. "I highly doubt it, I've heard some fucked up shit in my life."
"...Haven't you noticed my eyes changing colors?" he asked lowly, staring intensely at her with golden eyes. "I know you have, but dismissed it. It's the logical thing to do. I know my eyes were black when we met, yet they were gold when we met again."
"Well, yeah, I noticed," she said confusedly. "For all I knew you were wearing contacts or something. What kind of question is that to ask someone? Oh hey, do you wear contacts? It seems kind of...I don't know, a dumb question. If someone eyes are different colors, isn't it okay to assume that they're wearing contacts? It's not like I stressed over it and saw it as something important."
He looked her her for moments, then started laughing.
"What?" she asked, blinking at him.
"Bella asked Edward that when she noticed," he smiled, looking at her and making her flush. She'd just called Bella dumb?
"Well, you are right," he said, smiling. "That is the most logical assumption to come to, and also, it makes sense not to stress over something so insignificant."
"...Are you going to have a point anytime soon?" she asked jokingly, but she was kind of serious. What about his eyes? How could that be relevant?
"...You turned my eyes black," he said lowly, making her eyebrows lift.
"..."
"Sorry, I'll make sure to be more careful waving my wand around next time."
"You don't believe me?"
"It's not that I don't believe you, I'm just..."
"Too logical?" he chuckled, not even offended. "Yes, Bella was way more willing to believe that something of fairy tales can exist than you are."
She started to speak, but he cut her off. "I can prove that you turn my eyes black..." he said quietly, glancing a her.
She let out a small bark of laughter. "Okay, Houdini—prove it."
"I need your wrist," he said lowly. "Your neck would be preferable, but I don't want to make you that uncomfortable."
This was weird. Beyond weird. Some red flags were going off, but she ignored them. She was an idiot, and she knew it.
"What for?" she asked quietly, tilting her head in confusion.
"You'll see," he said quietly. "I won't hurt you."
"Okay..." she trailed off, holding her good arm out to him.
He took a deep breath and gingerly grabbed her arm with one hand and her hand with his other.
She tensed a little, feeling his cold skin and her heart was going crazy.
Her eyes as he brought her wrist right underneath his nose.
What is he do...no sooner than she thought that he inhaled deeply over her wrist once, twice, and three times. Her wide eyes didn't leave him once.
He became very still, and it looked as though he wasn't even breathing. Slowly, he gently placed her arm down and looked up at her.
She gasped.
His eyes were black, pitch black. He looked like a fucking demon from Supernatural.
She pulled arm back, shuffling back on the bed, more startled than afraid.
His face pulled a look of hurt and she moved away from him.
"Wha – how did you do that?!"
"...your blood did it," he said lowly, watching her intensely. She could tell that he deeply regretted this. "But, I only drink animal blood-"
"M-my blood?" she asked in a high pitched voice.
"Yes, you're my singer..." he said quietly. "Bella is Edward's. It must be something about the Swan family..." he chuckled lightly. "Your blood smells better than any delicacy you could ever come across to me. It smells so sweet." he frowned, looking ashamed.
"..."
Her heart was thumping...What. The. Fuck? Either he was insane, or well, he had to be...but then again, was he trying to say he was a...vampire?!
"Just what are you trying to say?" she asked in a low voice.
"I think you know..." he said quietly. "But I would never hurt you. I've spent centuries controlling my blood-lust, I had too. I'm a doctor. Of course, nothing could have prepared me for you. It hit me like a tidal wave, it was so powerful," he whispered. "I smelt it before I walked into the room with you and Bella. Of course, I knew that you were her cousin. I almost backed out, but I heard your sweet voice, and I became overwhelmed with the urge to see your face. I stopped myself from getting another doctor, knowing I could handle it..."
He looked down, and took a deep breath before looking back up at her. His eyes were once a warm amber again, making her relax slightly. She wasn't sure why she wasn't running away and screaming that he was crazy...but, she was more curious than anything...was this really true?
"I opened that curtain and looked at you. But of course, I saw you long before you looked at me. One glance was all I needed...and you were so beautiful to me," he said quietly, making her eyes widen further and her face redden. "I was so taken aback that I couldn't make eye contact with you. When I finally had to, I had prepared myself. Then, you were sitting there looking at me like you were about to faint, and I realized a part of me wanted you to think I was attractive...I was happy that you were impressed by me, and when you spoke, your voice was soft with such innocence, kindness, and insecurity—it was a lot for me. If my heart was beating, it would have broke my chest." he said slowly, looking at her with tender eyes.
Her head was spinning. He was serious. Dead serious. She couldn't just readily believe this, could she? All she knew was she was already a little frightened, though she tried to hide it.
"I – I need more proof," she said, her voice wary.
He suddenly stood, quicker than her eyes could keep up. He zoomed back and forth across her room, making only a blur in front of her eyes. He stopped in front of her dresser and looked over at her, before reaching under it and lifting it with one hand.
Her mouth fell open she she watched him balance the dresser on two fingers, before gently sitting it down, not making a noise. He zoomed back to the bed, and was suddenly right in front of her.
He grabbed her hand, making her jump as he held it to his pulse point on his neck. His neck was cool and hard, but soft at the same time, though that wasn't what grabbed her attention.
No pulse.
As if she was desperate to prove herself wrong, she moved her fingers around his neck as he let her hand go, letting her do as she pleased. But it seemed that her search was in vain as she yanked her hand back.
She inhaled sharply, frozen in place.
"Please...Don't be afraid of me, Vanessa," he pleaded, his eyes warm. "Look in my eyes, see it for yourself. I would never hurt you."
Terror washed through her body...no, he couldn't be...
She leap off the bed, running towards the door, but he beat her to it, standing in front of it with his arms stretched out. It was a surrendering posture, his face kind and concerned.
Vanessa's heart was pumping, and suddenly, every human instinct in her body came alive. It was telling her run, get away from him—he's dangerous.
She shuffled backwards in fright, losing her footing and tumbling backwards.
In a flash, a pair of strong, cold arms wrapped around her, keeping her from hitting the floor. She began to struggle in the embrace, panic soaring through her as she breathed heavily.
"Vanessa...please," his voice begged, sounding desperate.
"Let...let me go!" she screeched, and to her surprise, the arms released her and she darted away and towards the wall.
She pressed against it, her heart hammering as she watched him. He was still blocking her way from the door...even if she got past him, what was she going to do? Go screaming at her dad that there was a vampire in her room?!
"Please," Carlisle's voice and face was pained. "Vanessa...don't be afraid of me. I-" he stepped closer.
"No!" she yelped in fright, pressing harder into the wall. He immediately halted, looking at her with a saddened expression.
"Please, I'm scared! Leave!" she gasped, terrified.
He immediately dropped his arms to his side, his face looking...broken. A flash of guilt stabbed through her fear, but it didn't lessen it.
"If that is what you wish; I will go..." he said quietly, looking at her scared face. "I'm so sorry...If you want to talk, you know my number and know where to find me. Please...think it over. Believe me when I say – I'd never hurt you, despite what I am..." he trailed off quietly, and in a flash, he was gone.
A sob escaped her throat, and she sunk to the floor, hyperventilating.
"He...no, it's not real!" she gasped, her brain in over drive. But still, how could she argue with what she'd just seen? Suddenly, things started to connect; in ways that terrified her.
His eye color changing, his strength, his speed, the family that didn't really eat...not even at lunch. Why they all looked alike—why Carlisle spoke as though he wasn't from this generation. How just now she never recalled ever seeing any of them in the sun. One day, a week ago, it had been sunny...and the Cullens and Hales had been absent from school...
"Oh my God," she gasped, covering her mouth. They were all vampires...Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle...Rosalie and Edward.
"Bella!" she gasped. Is this what she knew that she didn't? She was dating a vampire?! What, was she out of her fucking mind?! What...what was she supposed to do? It's not like she could tell anyone, all that would get her was a 24 hour lock down in the fucking loony bin.
Had she gotten the impression that Edward loved Bella? Yes, she had...but, he was...a monster, wasn't he?
A monster.
Vampires were monsters.
For some reason, even now, she couldn't connect that word to Carlisle. He...he was a doctor. Uncle Charlie said that ever since he'd been working there, the deaths in the hospital went down dramatically. So, what was he? A redeemed vampire? A vampire with a soul?
No, too much Buffy.
Shakily, she stood from the floor and walked over to her bed, collapsing on it.
Oh, Carlisle...the look on his face. God, he looked so broken at her reaction. But, what had he expected?
She grabbed her hair, breathing heavily. She...she still wanted to see Carlisle. He'd helped her and he had been so kind. He'd given her no reason to fear him, other than telling her what he was, and that her blood was appealing to him. If he wanted to kill her, he easily could have. She wasn't sure if she had a real reason to be terrified, or if she only felt that way because of the image of vampires that had been imprinted in her mind from lore. They were always deemed as evil. Of course, there were good and bad people too, and she recalled their conversation at his house.
Her leg. It had bled...that was why he commanded her to leave—he'd smelt it.
"Fuck!" she cursed, feeling a little idiotic for not making all the connections. But, how the hell was she supposed to know? A handful of weird things...just automatically conclude they're vampires? That was insane!
He'd said he didn't feed from people, but from animals. Maybe that was true, maybe it wasn't. How was she supposed to know?
Her phone beeped. She pulled her knees to her chest and cut her eyes to it.
Was it Carlisle?
Not being able to help her curiosity, she grabbed the phone, seeing it was a text from...
Rosalie.
Vanessa, I'm sorry. I told Carlisle not to tell you...if you're scared, please don't be. We're both upset. We care about you. If you don't want to talk to Carlisle, but need someone to talk to, please, call me.
She put her phone down, tears forming in her eyes. Rosalie...she'd gotten a little close to her. She knew for a fact that outside of her family, she was Rose's only friend. Could...could she abandon the lonely girl, just because of what she was? Could she abandon Carlisle, when he'd been nothing but kind to her...because of what he was? For some reason, she started to feel prejudiced. But, how could she not? My God, these people were vampires. And to be honest, she was frightened. Even if that made her a wuss, she didn't care. Carlisle's black eyes, strength, lack of pulse and speed had scared her. How could it not? He just proved he wasn't human for crying out loud!
And Bella...her mind kept going back to her. She wasn't only scared for herself, but for her beloved cousin. Edward...he wouldn't hurt Bella, would he? As she thought back, she remembered her dad telling her that Bella's boyfriend had saved her life, pulling her out of the way of a van that almost hit her. If he intended to harm her, why would he save her life? Also, they'd been dating for months...what was the point in that if he didn't truly care about her? Vanessa knew she'd seen the love and devotion in Edward's golden gaze.
All in all: she didn't know what to think.
She dug her head into her pillow, crying softly. She should have known. Carlisle seemed to be a perfect man...her dad was right. When someone seems too good to be true, they usually are.
She had no idea how long she lay there, her thoughts troubled before she finally drifted into sleep.
The Next Day
"Vanessa?" Bella's voice came from her door as it opened.
Vanessa tensed, knowing this was coming...
"Yeah..." she grumbled, looking over to see Bella closing and locking her door.
"We need to talk," she whispered, a sad look on her face as she walked over and sat on her bed.
"Yeah, the Cullens are vampires. I got the memo," she said sourly, looking at Bella. "Honestly, Bella, how could you date someone that isn't human?"
"Edward is the most beautiful person I've ever met," she said, pursing her lips.
"Yeah, he's hot but-"
"No, I meant on the inside," Bella sighed, looking sharply at her. "And so is Carlisle. They're good people, Vanessa."
"They drink blood."
"Not human blood."
"How do you know?" Vanessa asked cryptically.
"Because, vampires that feeds on humans...their eyes are crimson, not gold."
"When did you meet other vampires?" Vanessa yelped, staring at her.
"I haven't, that's just what they told me. It makes sense-"
"Makes sense?" Vanessa asked, exasperated. "None of this makes sense."
"I'll tell you everything I know," Bella whispered.
Bella lauched into when she first saw Edward, how she found out he was a vampire, how they started dating, and when she first met his family. Everything. She must have talked for at least an hour while Vanessa quietly listened, processing information.
"See, so Carlisle changed them, but he's never killed someone," she said quietly. "But, they were already dying. He said he wouldn't do that to someone that had another choice."
One detail seemed to stick out.
"Edward can read minds?" she asked, wondering if she was going to have to avoid him like the plague...oh God, all those thoughts she had about Carlisle...
"He has trouble hearing your thoughts, similar to my dad," Bella smiled. "He said sometimes you're silent, then its like your thoughts are screaming at him, then it stops again. It fades in and out."
"...Has he told Carlisle my thoughts?" she asked quietly.
"No, Edward respects your privacy."
"Oh God..." she groaned. "And what's Carlisle's gift?"
"...compassion," Bella answered. "He's more compassionate than most people."
"..."
"Vanessa, can't you see that Carlisle cares deeply about you? Edward hasn't told me his thoughts, as he respects Carlisle's privacy, and so do I but..." she smiled. "I think Carlisle is in love with you..."
"He doesn't even know me!" Vanessa hissed, feeling betrayed when her heart lurched in her chest...almost hopefully.
"He does, though," Bella smiled. "He's a vampire. He notices so many things that people don't. He listens and he sees...he's probably completely picked apart your personality by now, and he loves it-"
"No, if he does...he's just infatuated."
"...Vampires are unchanging," Bella frowned. "Once they find one person to love, their love is eternal. Carlisle has been alone for centuries. You're the first one he's showed even the slightest bit of interest in. He's always thinking of others above himself. Don't you see? He's just a man that's been alone for centuries, and he knows he's found his mate in you-"
"His mate?" Vanessa asked, flabbergasted. "I am not an animal!"
"...You know you care just as deeply for Carlisle. I know you," Bella frowned. "You're just afraid. Afraid to accept it or admit it."
"..."
"So what if I am, Bella?!" Vanessa raised her voice. "I...I want to be around a fucking vampire! What's wrong with me?!"
"There's nothing wrong with you!" Bella exclaimed. "You care about someone, you care about them. It shouldn't matter-"
"Well, it does," Vanessa said sadly. "What...what kind of relationship could I possibly have with him?"
"..."
"He could turn you," Bella whispered, her eyes looking hopeful. "You'd be strong, beautiful and young forever..."
"Are you wanting to be turned?!" Vanessa gasped, staring at Bella.
"I want to be with Edward forever," Bella smiled. "It's the only way."
"I can't believe we're discussing this," Vanessa murmured.
"You wouldn't consider being immortal with Carlisle?"
"What?! I don't know!" she gasped, putting her hands in her hair.
"I think you're overreacting," Bella frowned.
"I'm overreacting?! You're under reacting!" she exclaimed. "How can you just...be okay with this?"
"It took a little time, but I was never afraid of Edward...and unlike Carlisle, Edward wanted to drain me when we first met. He doesn't have nearly as much control as Carlisle."
"You do realize you sound insane, right?" Vanessa scoffed. Oh, by the way, when we first met...I almost killed you. At least Carlisle didn't say something like that. He said her blood smelt amazing, but he didn't say that he wanted to kill her.
"You just don't understand!" Bella said defensively.
"No, I understand perfectly. That's what's scaring me," Vanessa frowned. "Bella, how could you be with someone that wanted to kill you? Even Carlisle never said he wanted to kill me!"
"But he didn't!" Bella protested, looking offended. "Edward would never hurt me. He loves me and you know it!"
"I think he does love you. I doesn't mean its not fucked up though," Vanessa frowned. "You have to at least admit that."
Bella sighed, but she saw the look of defeat on her face, making her feel guilty.
"Look, Bella, if you're happy with Edward, I'm happy for you..." she bit her lip. "But, it worries me. Am I not allowed to be worried? I mean, its a lot to take in."
"I suppose you're right. I think I should leave you to your thoughts for a little while, then," Bella sighed, picking up her bag and walking towards the door.
She paused and looked back at her.
"Don't miss out on what could be the best thing that's ever happened to you because you're afraid. Life is about taking chances...you don't want to wake up one day, wishing you'd done something different. Don't be afraid to be happy."
And with that, Bella was gone.
Vanessa chewed on her lip, realizing she wasn't that afraid of Carlisle. She knew the truth, and she knew what he was. And despite all of that, she still wanted to be with him.
That, more than anything, scared her the most.