Disclaimer: Shiznat are not mine but you could be? Bang! :P What can I say? I'm very smooth...not.

Hello, mortals. As stated in my profile and in SWMA I'm sort of back so I'm sort of posting updates every now and then. I'm extremely sorry but life is life. Even though life is life it takes priority. Wait. What? Yeah. You get the idea.

Most of this chapter was written a long time ago and only did last night was I able to finish it. I had no choice, there was no internet haha.

Enjoy~

Bite Me

The countess walked and walked for what seems like hours but in actuality it was only five minutes.

"I've had enough of this farce! Taka should be here with my carriage." She eyed the long road ahead of her and mused, "Is it too late for me to go back and demand another…" she immediately dismissed the notion of her being flippant with making decisions no matter how simple they may be. But she can't help but scowl at the seemingly growing road ahead.

"Taxi!"

The countess snapped her head to the outrageous shrill in her right. It was a woman in her mid thirties wearing a suit and carrying an expensive purse.

"Taxi!" the woman once again shouted while motioning her hand in a way that Shizuru could only call bizarre.

"What in the bloody name is this woman trying to do?"

And before she could demand an answer from the mortal, a yellow vehicle stopped in front of the woman. The vampire's eyes grew suspicious as the two mortal talked in hush tones and even though Shizuru could hear it with her impeccable sense of hearing, she could not understand what they talked about.

"It must be a code?" Shizuru wondered.

After the man behind the wheels, which Shizuru assumed as the driver like Taka, nodded his head the woman immediately got in and the car drove off. This left the immortal wonder even more.

"Perhaps this is the carriage of today?" she scrunched her forehead while in deep thought. She was never one for adventure and for trying something new. It was her beloved Natsuki's forte. The Lycans were all about the thrill of the wild whilst the Vampires were more concern about harmony brought upon the laws and traditions cast upon them. Theirs were boring and many of them who sought the excitement of life and were thoroughly punished for it. The countess had never thought of it for she was satisfied with what she had lived so far. Drinking blood in her spare time was definitely her cup of tea. Her unworldly cravings of the flesh were a different matter for it involved (for a couple of centuries now) a wolf who captured her heart. Other vampires have experimented with the Lycans only to end with one less head intact but Shizuru would like to believe that she has hers undamaged till now because of Natsuki's love for her. Perhaps her affair with a certain Lycan was the only thrilling and diverting event that occurred in her symmetrical and peaceful life.

"Shall I try this then..." Shizuru readied herself and waited in the same curb as the other woman. She motioned her hand like what she saw earlier and shouted 'Taxi!' in the air. She was not sure what exactly was supposed to happen, but she was hoping that a vehicle called taxi would appear before her. Although she was slightly hoping that it wasn't colored yellow this time.

"Taxi!" she yelled some more.

Nadda.

Nothing appeared.

And that was when she heard some giggling not far from her. She quickly approached the teenagers who were laughing at her. She knew this because she could hear their chatters, and had heard them describing her.

"What do you mean I'm crazy?!"

"Get off me you crazy bitch!" was shouted by the juvenile restricted by Shizuru's hands while the others were trying to pry the same hands off their friend.

"Fuck! She's got a death grip on you!"

"Answer my question, mortal!"

This time everyone simmered down and stared at the odd looking woman. One quickly explained, "Sorry dude but you're not supposed to hail a cab when there's no…" he stifled a laugh threatening to come out. "…cab around."

"Yeah," joined another one. "It's not like it'll appear out of nowhere because you want it to!"

Laughter once again.

"Why not?" was the countess only reply.

"Are you actually serious?" the young man inquired, disbelief on his face.

"Yes."

The lot looked at each other, all shaking their heads while some echoed 'cuckoo' before laughing. Shizuru didn't understand this language, this ridiculous act in front of her, but one thing was clear to her: they're not giving her what she wants. And that's unacceptable.

"Can you let go of me now?" The one who was caught by the countess was the only one who wasn't happy with all this for he could feel sharp nails digging through his flesh, his veins pulsating with every beat. He was scared and so he begged. "Please?"

But Shizuru was not having of it. Her attention was directed at the boys whose joy insults her dearly. "Answer me," she said once again but alas the menace in her voice was not noticed by the gullible boys.

"Please let me go!" cried the captive. When he felt that the grip was getting tighter he shouted at his friends, "Dude, help me!"

"Why should we answer you?" and "Let go our friend first, lady!" were their cries. Some were already bothered by the situation after seeing their buddy's face while the others kept on taunting the slightly irritated vampire.

"Huh. Your audacity to barter with me mortal greatly astounds me. You people should know your place."

"What the heck are you saying?!" and when they finally saw the grimace on their friend's face as blood slowly trickle down his wrists they gasped in horror. "Alright! Alright! But let our friend go first!"

Shizuru sighed. She really had no time for this. She supposed she could break all of their necks and be on her way but the trouble was not worth it. It was a public place after all and as such she wouldn't like to garner any attention. With another heavy sigh, she relinquished the boy to his friends. "There. I let him go. So tell me why?"

One of the boys was ready to jump at her when the ex-captive stopped him. "Stop! Just answer her and let's get out of here! She's crazy strong man."

They look dubious for a second but when they saw the trail of blood and the punctured skin; they all gulped and explained while running away. "Listen crazy woman. A taxi won't magically appear when you want them to, what are you? Some kind of magician? You only hail for a cab when you 'see' an actual one. Get it? Bye!"

"Hm…but how do I see—"

The teens were gone.

"Oh well. What was I thinking asking kids?" Shizuru sighed. "I'll figure this code out. Perhaps I need to practice my hand signal." She repeated the motion slowly, with the same urgent shrill but there was nothing. "Why is it not working? What am I doing wrong?" She asked to no one.

Fed up, she looked around to cool down. She saw a waiting shed. "What a filthy looking structure but it shall do. Ah, it has a shade from the sun…" pleased, she added, "how considerate."

As soon as Shizuru sat on the bench, a large vehicle arrived and out came several locals.

"What on bloody name is that?"

Someone heard her and gave her a haughty, "Duh. It's a bus. What are you, retarded or something?"

And then the bus stop was painted red.

After her quick snack at the bus station Shizuru headed north where she could sense civilization. Every now and then she'd stop and call for a taxi on an empty road, but like the last time nothing appeared.

"Perhaps I am getting weak? But I just drank from those fools…" she considered it some more. "Perhaps there is a proper way of doing this. I must investigate this further. No, better yet I need to ask Natsuki when we meet." She smiled at the thought of meeting her lover.

She walked another mile without any sign of civilization. By this time she could feel herself getting antsy, to just fly instead of stupidly waving a secret sign she couldn't perfect. However she vowed to Natsuki that she won't transform unless it was necessary.

"But this is necessary. Nice as it is to walk surrounded by these lush greens I have somewhere I rather be, and fast." The countess was about to transform when from afar, across the road, she saw a young adult doing another signal. Her thumb was protruded while the rest of her digits were tight closed. She was motioning this odd signal towards her right. The truck passed by the woman without stopping.

"This century is certainly different," Shizuru mused as she casually crossed the road without looking sideways.

The bored looking woman in her 20s saw this and thought it was odd. "You are strange," she said.

"Yes, I am aware. I was told not too long ago." She remembered the teens.

"Okay…? Are you lost or something?" The stranger evaluated Shizuru from head to toe and noted, "You really are strange. What's with the clothes?"

"I could ask you the same thing, young woman."

"Excuse me. This is the only things I could afford from the thrift shop."

"Thrift shop? What is that?"

"A shop?"

"Ah?"

"Did you smash your coconut somewhere and lost it?"

"Co-conut? Lost it?" Shizuru was again baffled by the turn of events. These mortals have a way in words and actions that confuse the vampire. However she could sense that this time, the woman was not making fun of her so she didn't feel like killing her just yet.

"Whatever." The young adult sighed. "So what are you up to?"

"I am on my way to my beloved's house."

"Oh! Sweet! Me too! Where is it located? Maybe we're heading in the same way!"

"North."

"Oh—kay?"

Silence.

"Are you okay?"

"Uhm…I don't know? Are you?" Without missing a beat, the thoroughly confused young adult added, "Look lady, you appear to be missing some screw in your head but you're alright I suppose."

"Are you insulting me?"

Another frown. "Uhm, no? Just an observation. Why are you?"

"Should I be?"

"You really are strange."

"I've been told."

Silence.

"So North eh?"

The countess hummed in agreement.

The young woman introduced herself as she extend her hand, "I'm Kate by the way. And you are?"

The vampire just looked at the soiled hands and said, "Shizuru."

Kate wasn't offended at all given that this 'Shizuru' had been acting weird from the very start.

There was silence again for a few minutes before it was disrupted by a sound from afar.

"This could be my ride!" Kate excitedly said.

"Your ride?"

There was no answer for the countess because Kate was busy repeating the same gesture. "Excuse me, Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

By this time, Kate was no longer bothered or weirded out by the line of questioning of this woman she just met so merely answered, "Trying to hitch a ride."

"Hitch a ride?"

"Yeah? I have no money so I need to hitch a ride. Like, to get a ride wherever I needed to go?"

"Ah," a moments pause, "Yes, mortals need these so called currency to survive."

"Yes, unfortunately for me I have no currency."

The vehicle once again passed them by without stopping.

Kate cursed, "This is bollocks! I've been waiting for hours! Damnit!"

Shizuru observed the human once more. She was surprised that she holds no animosity towards her. Normally her patience was short on them because of their ignorance (or more like her patience is short on anyone that's not Natsuki) but this particular human piqued her interest. Because of this and her (surprisingly) pity towards the human, she stated, "Do not worry. I know what to do." Smiling at her she added, "I shall settle this." She then repeated the same actions that had failed and irritated her a few hours ago.

Ambivalent whether to be surprised or confused, Kate inquired. "Shizuru? What the fuck are you doing?"

"Calling a taxi, what else?"

Laughter echoed along the empty road and scattered into the dense forest around them. This made the vampire immediately snap her head to its origin. "I'm sorry, Shizuru but you can't hail a cab when there's no cab around," Kate explained, laughing with tears in her eyes.

Despite feeling that she's being mocked, Shizuru clarified, "So those teenagers are telling the truth?"

"What truth?"

"A taxi shall not appear?"

Kate stopped laughing when she noticed that the other woman seemed to be saddened by that fact. Little did she know the vampire wasn't sad rather she was regretful that she forgot to buy a gift for Natsuki. Those teenagers would have been nice were the vampire's earnest thoughts. The young woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "I'm sorry for laughing. I thought you were joking."

"Do not worry. I will not end your life because of your audacity to laugh at my expense."

"End my—wait? What?"

"Be grateful."

"Oh—kay?" Kate shook her head for the nth time and added, "Anyway, I don't know how to help you because obviously I have no money, but if I can just tell me. You're nice and kind of funny even though you are weird."

"Very well then, you shall teach me how to do that."

"Do what?"

"How to hitch a ride."

And so for the second time of that day, Shizuru learned another signal which she executed with a poise of a royalty in a perfectly deserted road.

A/N:

I don't think this is a funny chapter but if it is then that's cool I guess.

Like it? Tell me.

Hate it? Bite me.

Either way I hope you are all doing well.