Disclaimer: I don't own MH and its characters. Nor do I have anything to do with Underworld. I was merely inspired by the movie and I wanted to toy with Shiznat. That's all.

Hi, this is another update. I hope it doesn't disappoint. I'm still trying to feel comfortable writing again. Will be updating the others soon; just focusing on one story at the moment. Anyway enough babbles from me.

Enjoy~

Bite Me

"Hello Bitch."

Did I hear correctly? Did Shizuru just used the word bitch? Still frowning. Wait. She called me a bitch!

"Hello bitch, you still there?" Shizuru repeated again, pretty satisfied with herself thinking that she surprised Natsuki with a new word.

Surprised would be an understatement. The Lycan removed the phone from her ear briefly, stared at it for a couple of seconds digesting what just happened. She called me bitch…what the fuck is going on?

"…I don't think she likes it very much…" Natsuki heard Shizuru mumbled over the phone. She cradled the phone again as she look for her keys. She decided that she's going to fetch her girlfriend. She knew she said that she doesn't want to meet with the vampire, but she can no longer deny the fact that she's worried of what is going on with her. Plus, she knows full well how charming Shizuru can be; if she has to, she'd straighten up a dozen women to stake her claim.

"Shizuru," the Lycan called.

"Yes, bitch?" over the phone Natsuki could hear someone saying 'noooo, stop saying it!'.

She snarled. "Who are you talking to?" she paused. "And what did you just call me?"

"Ah, there is this mortal who is proven very useful, teaching me the ways of today." She added cheerfully, not realizing the odd tone in Natsuki's voice, "And I called you bitch, my bitch. For some reason I'm taking a liking to this new word I've just learned." A hearty chuckle.

Dumbfounded she stuttered, "I'm yo…ur what…now?"

"My bitch?"

Silence.

Natsuki dropped the call.

"Hello? Hello?" Shizuru started saying as she heard another dial tone. She faced Kate and said, "there must be something wrong with this little machine. Do you know how to fix it?" Sighing she added, "Even though this is a convenient equipment, I must say it is unreliable." The countess then threw her Iphone on the ground.

Kate took a dive to the ground to save the gadget. Luckily she was able to catch it before it landed on the rocky pavement. "What the hell?" she yelled at the puzzled countess.

"What?"

"Don't you know how much this cost?"

"Why do I need to know such superfluous things?"

"Superfluous?! This costs a fortune!"

Shizuru stretched, yawning timidly. "You do not need to shout, Kate. It is not ladylike. But to answer your question, I do not know the price because I did not purchase it myself."

Kate ignored the first part and instead inquired, "Who did then? Your boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend?" the countess chuckled. "No, it was my servant."

"Servant?! Who are you?"

"I'm Shizuru as I said to you before…now tell me, can you fix my phone?"

The young woman exhaled deeply, brushed off her pants and inspected the expensive mobile phone she can never afford. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"So why…?"

"Nothing is wrong with it. She just hanged up on you."

"Natsuki, what is all this? I leave you alone for one second and now you wrecked again your place? Didn't you call Shizuru?" Ben stared at the flustered Lycan, pacing up and down the living room, knocking off every furniture and its contents.

"She called me bitch! ME! A BITCH!" Natsuki bellowed while mumbling some more.

"What? I don't understand."

"Bitch? Who is she calling a bitch? I'm nobody's bitch! Yeah I love her but she doesn't have the right to—"

"NATSUKI!"

This startled Natsuki; she eyed her mortal friend like she sees him for the first time. "What?"

"Will you calm down? Tell me what happened. All I understood was bitch this and bitch that."

But instead of calming down, the word 'bitch' triggered another volcano within Natsuki and she started shouting and pacing around the room again.

Ben sighed and went back to the kitchen to find his friend's kryptonite. A few minutes later Ben returned in the living room that now appeared to be a war zone. He calmly tiptoed his way towards the furious Lycan, dodging whatever things (mostly big and heavy furniture) that are flying his way. When he was a few yards away he gently opened a jar and said, "Calm down, Natsuki. Let's take a seat and talk."

Smelling the mayonnaise, the Lycan complied.

"What do you mean she hanged up on me? Why would she do that? She was the one who called me. We were having a nice conversation…"

"I kept telling you to stop saying bitch and yet you push me away and kept saying it again and again." Kate said exasperatedly. Remembering how far she flew when Shizuru offhandedly flickered her hand in her direction as she was trying to snatch the phone away from her. She was just helping her for goodness sakes, and now she could feel that one of her ribs might be broken along with numerous scratches all over her face and body.

"What did I do wrong?"

"You called her bitch! Who in the right mind would call someone bitch in that cheerful manner?"

The vampire frowned. "Didn't you say that it was a form of endearment?"

An eyeroll. "I didn't say it was—"

"But you—"

"I said my ex-boyfriend would call me that…and he's not exactly a saint."

"What does this word mean?" Shizuru inquired, a warning in her voice.

As Kate explain to Shizuru, the latter's face drained its color. She was awkwardly pale from the very beginning but somewhat she has loss another hue after learning what the word meant.

"So I basically called my beloved a whore?"

A nod.

And the countess began to scream.

After several jars of mayonnaise were consumed, Natsuki started to tell Ben what happened. Instead of sympathizing with her the guy laughed.

"Oi!"

"I'm sorry, it's just incredibly funny."

"You're laughing because you're not the one who was called a bitch!" she said the last word with venom. Ben didn't miss it and so he apologized sincerely.

"So who is this mortal who taught your girlfriend the word—" he stopped when he saw the glare.

"I don't know the details but she said something about a useful mortal."

Ben whistled. "Your lady vamp needing an aid from us 'mortals'?" He remembered how condescending the woman was and how he used those five women as her sun vest.

"Don't start. You know how she is."

"Actually I don't. It was the first time I've seen her…or any vampire for that matter. I've heard that they think lightly of us but I didn't realize just how light."

"Shizuru…she's…" Natsuki tried to defend her beau. "…kind."

"Kind? You mean kind of scary?"

"Shut up!"

Ben laughed again which made Natsuki looked at her questioningly. "What?"

"Well, you're not mad anymore." A grin. "I knew those two were your kryptonites."

"What two?"

"Mayonnaise and Shizuru."

Amused, Natsuki smiled.

Looking at the empty containers, Ben joked, "I wonder who's stronger of the two though."

Natsuki can't help but laugh.

"Are you calm now?" Kate yelled behind a tree. She immediately ran and took cover behind a tree several feet away from the infuriated woman. Before she got away she thought she saw Shizuru's incisors becoming extremely big and sharp. She also noticed that the wind got stronger and everything around the woman started to fly away. She's no extraordinary chick for sure, she concluded. Then thought some more: What the hell is with the screaming though? She could out scream a bat. She'd break my ears if this continues.

Kate knew she had to do something. If the woman's rage continues their bonfire will be gone and they'll have a very cold evening. There was no way she could set up another bonfire in the middle of the night without any supplies. So she slowly crept away from the tree, getting a nearby branch she thought she could use as a weapon if she needed to fend off Shizuru's attack.

But before she could ever reach Shizuru she was suddenly smashed on the very tree she used as a cover by an entity she couldn't see. The sudden force broke her breath. She fell on her knees, gasping for air. Am I going to die? The arms that were supporting her from completely falling to the ground trembled. The ground itself trembled. Then she felt her jacket's pockets vomiting its contents. One of which was Shizuru's phone.

Kate picked it up, hoping to call for help but before she could dial it rang. The caller id displayed 'My Natsuki'. Is this her girlfriend?

Swallowing her fear she shouted, "Shizuru! Phone call!"

The screaming and the ringing continued.

Kate, mustering all her strength, stood up and yelled. "Shizuru! Your Natsuki is calling!"

The screaming stopped.

"Shizuru, shut up and stop apologizing."

"But darling I did such a horrible thing! I called you a…"

"Bitch."

Shizuru bit her lips, giving a glare towards the mortal who now had passed out. "Forgive me, truly, my darling. I was not aware that it was an offensive word all along."

"Forget about it." She gazed at the clock, it was almost midnight. "Where are you right now? I'll get you."

"Uhm…" the vampire looked around her unsurely. "To be honest I'm rather lost."

"What?! And why are you unattended in the first place?"

"Taka and the other servants are away but I wanted to see you so I have decided to visit you unaided. By the way, do you realize how complicated this world has become, my love? There are strange signals and conditions before you can get a carriage. The language," she scoffed at the horrible mishap, "can be easily misconstrued. I ask this girl to teach me her people's ways but it seems I was wrong to rely on someone so young." But then she remembered that it was she who misunderstood and the girl was not at fault. She sighed heavily. She admitted to herself that she lost her temper and as a result, it almost cost the human's life. I need to compensate her for the damages I've incurred and for the kindness she bestowed upon me.

"Shizuru? Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"I said you need to turn on your GPS so I could trace you."

"GPS?"

"Global Positioning System. Your phone has it I'm sure." Natsuki wanted to facepalm herself as she recall that not long ago Shizuru called a mobile phone a 'piece of metal'.

"GPS?" She mumbled as she racks her brain for that particular piece of information. She had gone thru the manual expertly but there are still things she cannot fully grasp. "Is it the same as that function called Bluetooth? Why is it called a blue tooth by the way? Perchance do you know the reason? It was not stated in the manual and I don't think there's anything blue, or anything that can be considered as a tooth on this phone."

The Lycan wanted to facepalm herself again but she forced herself to sighed heavily instead. "No, it's not the same as bluetooth. And I don't know, Shizuru," another deep sigh. "Humans got their weird ways on naming things."

"I see." A pause. "How about wifi?"

"No."

"How about—"

"Just fly here will you?" Natsuki drawled weakly.

Shizuru smiled victoriously. "As you wish, my Natsuki."

A/N:

Per usual tell me if you like it or not. Better yet tell me what particular scene/dialogue you like or dislike. Also I may have to delve into the main plot (yes there is one) in a couple of chapters or the next. Depends really on whether you guys and girls have anything in particular you wish to see. I'm open to suggestions in this fic. Thanks btw to those who suggested. Much appreciated. If there's none then that's fine too. I'm sure I'll come up with something silly somehow.

Like it? Tell me.

Hate it? Bite me.

Either way I'm going down with a migraine, I think, so laters...