It goes without saying they get an A on the report. In fact, they score the highest out of everyone, including self-proclaimed school genius, Tony Stark. Not that Stark has ever been competitive about grades. In fact, he barely cares about them at all. He's like the anti-Jane in that regard.
For her part, Jane is brighter than a summer's day for the rest of the week. She still won't use her locker, but she greets Loki pleasantly in the halls, and she doesn't walk away when another rainfall forces them together for lunch. Sometimes, they even walk to and from class together, though only when one of them happens upon the other while making their own way. Loki does not actively sneak her out, and he knows she doesn't either.
Thanksgiving Break comes and goes, and suddenly, there is snow on the ground, and the music department is putting up flyers for the Winter Concert on December 21st. Teachers place Santa Clauses and snowmen in their windows, and a small Christmas tree is erected in front of the main entrance. It looks like the school has splurged on a new tree this year, because this is not the decrepit, browning bit of death Thor used to tell horror stories about. It's actually fairly decent, for a fake tree.
Now, if only they could do something about that printer.
"Doing anything special this year?"
She asks him this in the middle of a thunderstorm, when they're squished together at a table with the very uptight and ornery basketball team. Someone keeps elbowing Loki in the shoulder while they simulate a slam dunk for their friends' entertainment, and they're liable to lose the whole arm if they do it again.
"Special?" he asks.
"Yeah, for Christmas."
He thinks about that for a second. Odds are good he's going to spend the holiday in some European country of his mother's choosing. Always the adventurous type, she will be struck by wanderlust at certain times of the year, and desire a week or two away to some exotic location. Last year, it was Moscow. The year after that, Tokyo. This year, she may be going with Luxemburg. He saw some web pages open on her laptop while he was in the library looking for a book.
"Nothing much," he replies. "How about you?"
"Same," she answers. She goes to take a bite of her sandwich, but stops abruptly. "Well, my grandma is coming to stay with us for the weekend. It'll be the first time I've seen her in about five years."
"She lives far away?"
"Right across town, actually. In some kind of old folks community or something." Jane puts down the sandwich and goes for her salad instead. "Her and my Uncle don't exactly get along."
"Is that right?" Loki asks, surprised to find that he actually somewhat cares to know the reason.
"I never found out why, something about her not liking my Aunt. No one's ever given me details, they just don't like to talk about her."
"And now she's coming for the holidays."
"Well, her doctor just diagnosed her with stomach cancer, and she doesn't want to bother with chemo, so there's a good chance this'll be her last Christmas. I guess she wants to at least try and make amends while she still can."
Loki hums and nods. He watches Jane for any change in expression, but so far, she's been digging into her questionably nutritional meal with no somberness to speak of. It seems odd for someone like her, who has always stuck him as a more compassionate type.
"Are you not bothered by the thought of your grandmother dying?"
She gives him a flat look, which lets him know that came out harsher than he'd intended.
"You're the last person in the world to try and guilt me," she says. "And it's kind of hard to feel sad when I barely know the woman, and she's never taken much of an interest in me anyway. I mean, I'm not happy about it either…"
She trails off, unable to find the right words to explain it. She shakes her head and goes back to her food, and Loki can accept that. They eat in silence for a minute or so, then Loki sets down his fork.
"Should your family be too difficult to live with this year, you're welcome to join mine on a trip to Europe. You do have a passport, yes?"
Jane looks like she's going to laugh, but doesn't know if she should or not. A small guffaw escapes her, and she swallows back the rest.
"No, I don't have a passport, for your information," she says, but in a goodnatured way despite the bitterness she might have conveyed many weeks ago. "But thanks for the offer."
"I could forge you a passport if you like."
And now she is truly speechless. This is becoming more fun than pranking her.
"…okay, I rescind my thanks."
"You can't do that," he says indignantly.
Jane smirks. "Too bad, I already did."
"I won't allow you to do that."
"It's not up to you."
"Isn't it?"
"No."
"I think it is."
"You think wrong."
"Well-"
"KISS! KISS! KISS!"
"COME ON, KISS HER!"
"DO IT!"
Loki and Jane jump as the athletes they had completely forgotten about form a posse to cheer them on and pump their fists in the air. They loudly encourage a total decrease in the distance between them, which Loki has only just noticed has been steadily shrinking.
They are literally close enough that Loki can smell that perfume.
He's going to have to throw out every single lavender scent his mother owns.
Jane moves away first, and that's a problem for Loki. He should've done it ages ago, when those idiots first started chanting. Forget about just the one with the elbow, all of these fools are going to find their basketball careers cut tragically short and their families bankrupted by next week.
He makes detailed plans as Jane picks up her things- leaving the rest of her lunch behind- and half runs out the door, turning a hundred heads as she does
The basketball players boo and pat Loki on the shoulder ("She'll come around, big guy. Don't worry."). Loki brushes them off to go after her. It means little to him how others will take it. They will gossip to their hearts content about the tiniest thing regardless, and chances are, something new and ten times as 'scandalous' will happen by the end of eighth period.
He hopes Jane realizes this.
It occurs to him that she might not.
He catches her right away, his legs being a good six inches longer than hers. She's not running anymore anyway. The shock has worn off, and she's probably wondering why she reacted like that in the first place.
"Well, that was embarrassing," she says, almost jokingly.
"It depends on how you choose to look at it," Loki says.
"You can think of a way other than total mortification?"
She goes to her locker and opens it, for no other reason than to give herself something to do. She has even less in there this time than the last. A few old books and magazines, and what appears to be their crumpled up algebra syllabus. She opens her book bag and takes a thin, hardcover book out, exchanging it for one of the ones in her locker.
"You don't have to stay here, you know," she says.
Loki has made himself comfortable leaning on the door of an unused class, and isn't going anywhere.
"Of course I don't," he says belligerently.
She glares at him, and he smiles. Mission accomplished.
"I'm surprised you can be so calm," she says, turning away. "I thought you of all people would've hated that."
"Who says I didn't?" he asks.
He regrets it as soon as he sees Jane's eyes fall, and her shoulders slump. Such simple body language that conveys so much, so many things he never expected. For once, he isn't sure how to proceed. The endless paths he makes for himself- so that he is always one step ahead no matter the odds- are fading away one by one, until all that is left is the broken, crumbling edge of a cliff at his feet. He feels himself slipping.
And that's bad. That's bad for so many reasons, he can't bother to list them all. The most important one is that the mistake he's been fearing in the back of his mind since the first day of school may be even graver than he thought.
"Loki," she says, eyeing him meaningfully. "Can I ask you something?"
'You just did,' he wants to say.
"You may."
Jane looks down at the floor, deep in thought.
"Why did you start bullying me in kindergarten?"
He chafes at the word 'bullying,' and realizes that he's been doing everything in his power to avoid using it. Pranking sounds better to him. It sounds childlike, innocent. He was just a boy having a little harmless fun that she took too seriously. He never hurt her, he never pushed her around (not after the first time anyway). He never even took her lunch money. He just made sure every day had a new surprise in store for her, whether it be a crayon box full of only greens or a raincoat draped over a tree branch. In the latter case, he'd even climbed up the tree and gotten it for her once the teacher forced him to.
But he'd never seen it as bullying.
Or more accurately, he'd never let himself see it as bullying.
"I suppose… it had something to do with Thor…"
Jane gawks.
"Thor? Your brother?"
"He harbored some affections for you, albeit briefly-"
"You pushed me in the mud and put a frog in my bookbag because you brother has a crush on me?"
"Had a crush on you," Loki corrects her, as if that assuages his guilt somehow. "We are talking about something that ended many years ago, before it ever had a chance to begin."
"And did you know he lost interest in me?"
Loki opens his mouth and closes it, and takes a long, deep breath. That should pretty much say it all.
"Oh my god," Jane says. She laughs and walks around him, like a madwoman on the prowl. "That's- you know, I knew you were unbelievable and crazy, but that's just… I can't even describe it."
"I can't and I won't defend the actions of my younger self," Loki says. "But you must understand, my brother-"
"I don't even know your brother! Did you ever think of that? How was I supposed to know he had a thing for me? I was six years old!"
"So was I."
"Yeah, and then you were seven, then eight, then nine, ten, eleven- you can't justify this, Loki!"
"I'm not trying to!"
It's a good thing there is no one around to cat call them this time. Loki wagers they are closer together now than they were in the cafeteria. Forget about that lavender smell invading all his senses, he can feel her breath on his face, heavy and warm.
He backs off before he does anything he'll regret (or maybe not). Jane needs time to register his fading presence, and she takes an ill advised step forward while still in her stupor. She almost falls forward, but at the last second, she catches herself. Her face has turned so many shades of red in the past few seconds, some of which are not yet known to man. Her lips are slightly puckered, and it's a good thing Loki moved when he did, otherwise that sight alone might have broken what little self control he has left.
Damn her.
"I… don't know what I can say to appease you."
He can practically feel the disappointment radiating off of her. She's not even angry anymore, and that might be the worst part of it all. It's easier for him when she's yelling and screaming at him, easier to pretend that she's just another shrieking harpy making a big show of nothing at all, and that he is completely innocent. When she's like this, there is nowhere to hide.
"I'm not going to tell you," she says, her voice a tad fainter than before, and now Loki can here her steps. "If you can't figure it out for yourself, then you don't deserve my forgiveness in the first place."
She's gone a moment later, just as Loki knew she would be. She leaves him just as the bell rings and the hallways fill with students. They brush by Loki, oblivious to him and his internal conflict.
He isn't late to class this time, he just plain doesn't go. He spends the rest of the day standing under the bleachers, ignoring Stark and Potts eating each other's faces ten feet away and just… thinking.
A warm fire crackles in the corner, cheery Christmas music filtering through the mounted speakers. It's either Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby. He always gets those two mixed up.
If Loki had the energy, he'd take a bus down to the local radio station, break in, and switch all of their Christmas music up with Death Metal, the way he did when he was twelve. He doesn't even care that he's done it before, let him be predictable for once. For him to be predictable is, in and of itself, unpredictable, so he still wins.
Honestly, he hasn't been able to so much as think straight for longer than few hours at a time ever since his last conversation with Jane. Three weeks have gone by since then; she hasn't been back to her locker. What books remain are abandoned, left to rot, for as long as there's a chance that she could run into him while getting them. Loki hung around his locker for a little while the first day after the fight. She never showed up, and he never waited again.
For a while, he tried to convince himself that he was really in the right, and she was the one being childish and petty by ignoring him like this. It does little in the long run to soothe him. The voice of his conscience, once a docile beast, is now a growing inferno that sounds like an unholy mixture of Jane and his mother. It keeps him from delving too far into that fantasy. He is not the victim, it says, and he never will be, no matter how he tries to spin it. His lies will not help him here.
There is only one thing he can do to maybe fix this, but who knows if it isn't too late?
The phone rings as Loki is trying to stew in peace, and it keeps going even after Loki lets it go to voicemail. After the third time, Loki is ready to toss the wretched thing out the window. He can just steal Thor's again or buy a new one with a more secure phone number after the holidays. It can only be his emotional compromise over Jane that leads him to answer, and it's undoubtedly morbid curiosity that keeps him on after Mal's raspy laughter comes through the receiver.
"There you are, dude. I thought you were ignoring me!"
"And I thought I blocked your number," Loki says.
That awful laugh again. Loki wonders if there is any possible way he can rip Mal's voice box out and make it look like an accident.
"Come on, Loki, it's Christmas! You're supposed to be happy and nice to people. Peace and goodwill and shit. Check this out, Kurse and I are having a smoke in front of the Exxon gas station on 9th street, and you'll never guess who just walked into the convenience store."
"Your parole officer?"
"Nah, he's in Florida until New Year's. It's Foster!"
Loki, only half paying attention up until now, sits up in bed so fast, it almost breaks his spine.
"Mal, if this is a joke-"
"No joke! Believe me, I'm shocked too. I would've thought little goody goody Foster would be at home making gingerbread snow men or whatever it is people do on this dumbass holiday, but she's right there! She's buying a root beer and a bag of pretzels from the look of it. Hey, I was thinking I'd try asking her out again. I bet last time, she was just too shy since there were so many people around. Now that it's just me and Kurse, she'll be way more into it, don't you think? Loki? Hey, Loki? Man, where the fuck did you go?"
Mal continues to yell at dead air, unaware that Loki dropped the phone ages ago, and is in the process of buckling his seat belt and starting Thor's car.
Loki careens down the block. He tries to drive as slow as he can while still hurrying at the same time. The last thing he needs right now is to get pulled over, and have to explain his lack of a driver's license to some half drunk policeman who probably wants to be doing anything other than pulling over joyriding punks on Christmas Eve.
He was lucky enough to find Thor's keys in the living room ashtray (the idiot is constantly misplacing them). If he'd had to enter Thor's room, and risk one more sight of Thor's naked white ass with Sif's (admittedly very nice) legs draped over him, he might have just hot-wired Father's Porsche and been done with it. That takes too much time, though. Time Loki doesn't have.
It takes him six minutes to get there without breaking the speed limit. Now he wishes he had. The Exxon station is just up ahead, and not another car is in sight. Loki guns it. The tires screech as he makes a sharp turn into the station. He turns the headlights on Mal and Kurse, standing over a less than scared looking Jane holding a shopping bag. All three of them, but especially Mal, have the traditional 'deer in headlights' face. Loki studies the scene briefly before killing the engine and stepping out of the car.
"Evening, Gentlemen. Jane."
He nods at her. She doesn't nod back.
"Hey, Loki!" Mal says, hiding well the fear Loki smells on him. "You made it just in time. Jane here was just about to agree to be my date for the Homecoming Dance."
"No, I wasn't," Jane says bluntly. "I was actually about to tell you once again that I'm not interested, and also to leave me alone, and also your breath stinks. Brush your teeth sometime, would you?"
Jane pushes past the goblin-like Mal and his massive henchmen, past Loki, and to his car, where she opens the passenger side door and gets in. She never asks for permission, just assumes she has it.
Loki glances at Mal and Kurse, both too dumbfounded to try anything, not that they would with him around. They know better than that. With a silent wave and a proud smirk, Loki bids them goodnight and Merry Christmas.
"What were you doing there?" Jane asks, as they drive down a country road back into town.
"I should ask you the same question," Loki counters.
Jane looks away, because there is really no way around that for her. A young woman alone at an isolated gas station at night with no noticeable means of self defense? There's a recipe for disaster if Loki ever saw one.
"Well?" Loki asks.
Jane winces, and folds her arms over her chest.
"My grandma came," she says, "and the first thing out of her mouth was to ask my uncle if he was still married to 'that two-bit Jew whore.'"
Loki whistles.
"Yeah," Jane says, laughing humorlessly. "Once the fight started, I knew I had to get out of there."
"Interesting choice of destination," Loki says. He can still see the seedy gas station out the rearview mirror.
"It was the only place within walking distance," Jane says. "And after all that, I needed something salty to cheer me up."
She pops open the pretzel bag and eats two right off the bat. She offers him a third, but he turns it down. He doesn't like to eat while driving. It breaks his concentration.
"What were you doing out there?" Jane asks.
Loki waits a beat.
"Mal called me," he says. "Wanted to brag about getting a date with you. Of course, when Kurse is involved, I can't be certain what a 'date' means, so I figured I should make sure everything was alright."
Jane nods and looks out the window, staring aimlessly out while Loki reenters town and drives down a block covered in enough lights and holiday decorations to put Clark Griswold to shame. He doesn't know where he's going. Home is in the other direction, and he doubts she lives anywhere near here either. It looks like they're just having a regular Sunday evening drive. It's like being in school, except they have no choice but to be in each other's company until it's over.
Loki clears his throat, though he has nothing to say. Nothing will come to him. That's happening far too often lately, and she is always the cause of it. Jane Foster is for sure going to be the death of him.
He's said it before, and he'll say it again.
Damn her.
"Can I tell you something?"
Loki looks at her fast, forgetting for a moment that he is behind the wheel of a car that he's driving illegally.
"What?"
Out the corner of his eye, he thinks he sees a smile on Jane's face. It could just be a trick of the light, though.
"I was actually terrified back there," she says, and now he knows that is a smile, just not a happy one. "I was only able to say what I did because you showed up. If you hadn't... I don't know what I would've done. So if you were trying of being some kind of hero back there, congratulations. You were."
This time, Loki schools himself not to look away from the road. There is a police cruiser just up ahead. He minds the speed and his turn signals until the car is a distance memory.
"I wasn't trying to be a hero," he says.
A long period of silence follows.
"Can I tell you something else?"
Loki almost wishes she wouldn't.
"Back when we were kids," Jane says, "before you started bullying me… I had a huge crush on you."
Loki grips the steering wheel, his nails leaving marks in two thousand dollar leather that will never fade. He swallows back something large, hard, and painful. He wants to slow down and speed up, throw her out and kiss her senseless all at once.
…he can't even say it anymore.
"Can I tell you something?" he asks.
He waits for a response that she doesn't give, except to edge closer in her seat. Loose wisps of hair appear in his peripheral vision.
"I am driving this car without a license, and you will likely be arrested alongside me if we are caught."
He stops to let that sink in, and smirks when she backs slowly out of view, and he hears the click of her buckling her seatbelt.
"You're a very good driver," she says, eyeing him suspiciously. "Why do I get the feeling you've done this before?"]
Loki chuckles.
"One secret at a time, Jane," he answers. "I'll tell you one more, and one more only."
He slows to a stop in between a Chinese restaurant and a pet store. The lights of the perpetually open restaurant are nothing compared to the elaborate eyesore of a Christmas display the pet store boasts. Whoever thought a lifelike dog head with a Santa hat on was a good marketing idea needed to be drawn and quartered, then fired.
He undoes his belt and maneuvers himself around to fully face her. She hasn't freed herself from the seat, though she grips it tightly. Loki's fingers itch to touch the soft plains of skin on her face and neck, but he settles for a light brush of her cheek. Her eyes flutter shut for just a moment.
"Jane," he says. "I have had… feelings for you for some time."
He stops before his throat can close. That alone nearly killed him to say aloud, but that doesn't make it less true. It's a truth he is revealing to himself just as much as he is to her. There is more still to tell, but for now, they'll both have to settle for that.
"Also, I want to apologize."
Jane blinks her eyes. The echo of each confession rings in his ears, louder each time instead of softer. After a few seconds, she tilts her head.
"Apologize for what?"
Loki furrows his brow.
"I just… I apologize."
"For what?"
"You know for what!"
He dials it back. Shouting was not a good idea, not when he was still on delicate ground and she was steadfastly refusing to get the point. Was she being deliberately obtuse?
And then, just to twist the knife in a little further, she laughs.
Jane Foster laughs at him!
While Loki gapes at her like a fool, Jane's eyes start to tear and she bangs her fists on the dashboard, no doubt leaving behind more dents that will never come out.
"O-okay," Jane says, gulping down air before she gives herself a heart attack. "I guess that's a good start. We can work on it."
He doesn't like the sound of that, but it's hard to contest her when she's happier and more alive than he's seen her in weeks. It's all but impossible.
Loki turns the engine back on and pulls out of his parking space. Some hoboes a few doors down have taken out an old-fashioned radio that alternates between Jingle Bell Rock and ear-splitting feedback. Loki drives a little faster than needed to get away, turning down a familiar road to a line of streets he's known his whole life.
"Where are we going?" asks Jane.
"It's Christmas," says Loki. "And you deserve one full of joy, happiness, and love. Barring that, my family's chef makes a delicious beef stroganoff."
Jane giggles and pushes back her seat, as the red and gold lights of the town's twenty foot Christmas tree flood over them.
Two firm knocks are all Thor allows before he opens the door to Loki's room. Loki's never minded him barging in, not enough to stop him anyway, so he sees no harm in it.
"Brother!" he calls out. "It's time for dinner. Mother wants you and your friend downstairs in-"
Thor steps inside, and immediately wishes he hadn't. Loki is on his bed, his arms around Jane Foster's petite body and his tongue in her mouth. Jane opens one eye and lets out a squeak, causing Loki to growl as he pulls away. Thor sputters, wanting to apologize for the interruption, but not quite finding the words.
While Jane Foster covers her flushed face (and maybe a laugh if the shaking of her shoulders means anything), Loki steps off the bed, stretching long, spidery legs down to the bottom of the tall bed. He snatches up something off the mantle, and walks with a confident strut Thor hasn't seen from him in months.
"Brother, do you mind?"
Loki grins evilly, and he throws Thor's car keys into his hands and slams the door in his face.
THE END
A/N: Thank you to everyone who read!