Roy had never before been glad that he worked so much. Now, he was used to getting up early, which came in handy when trying to sneak out before your partner from last night woke up.

Roy stretched, gently moving off the couch—had he really slept on the sofa all night? Never before had sex tired him out so thoroughly…or pleasantly.

The thought brought a twitch of annoyance. He had really enjoyed last night. Roy supposed he would even do it again, which probably made him bisexual. Well, as long as it felt good.

Time to stop thinking and get to work.

Roy took a quick piss, and cleaned the dried fluids off his stomach. Stretching once more and stifling a yawn, he checked the clock: 5:30. Plenty of time.

Roy looked in the mirror. No, he didn't need to shave today, but his hair was a mess. He sighed, dragging a comb through it until he was satisfied.

Next, uniform. Roy dressed mechanically, not even having to think about what his fingers were doing, which was bad. His mind thus freed, he found himself feeling…guilty.

Edward had obviously enjoyed last night. He hadn't put up any resistance at all. What were the implications? Roy didn't want to think about that. The fact was, he was going to leave, take Ed's pants and win the bet, and never revisit the issue. Usually, abandoning his partners didn't affect him, even if he knew they would be hurt, but the idea of the blonde on his couch waking up alone…Roy just knew the younger alchemist would be upset, and was oddly distressed by that knowledge.

But what could he do?

He was just leaving his room when he considered that he was about to abscond with Edward's trousers. The least Roy could do was leave the boy another pair. The guilt would only get worse, otherwise.

He grabbed a pair of casual, black pants, the closest thing he could find to Ed's usual attire. They would have to do.

Roy walked out to the living room, and found the pair of leather pants lying discarded on the floor. He picked them up, folded them, and grabbed his jacket, tucking the pants inside. Roy left his own pair of black ones at Edward's feet.

He pulled on his boots and placed his hand on the doorknob.

But Roy couldn't leave.

He groaned softly. This was ridiculous! Thinking fast, he grabbed a pen and paper, scrawling a quick message:

Left you some new pants, yours got a little dirty.

There. That was fine. A good excuse.

Thus satisfied (for the most part), Roy ignored the further prickling in his conscience and left for Headquarters.

Edward took his time walking up. He knew he was conscious, but…he couldn't let himself open his eyes. He was pretty much convinced last night was a dream, and he just wanted to live it a little longer.

But he had to pee.

Groaning a yawn, Ed opened his eyes and was disoriented for a moment. This wasn't his place—so last night must have been real. His heart leapt and he sat up to look for Roy, wincing. His ass hurt a lot more than he had expected, not that it hadn't been worth the pain. Edward couldn't help a slight blush as he recalled the previous night's activities.

He swiveled to get up and something fell to the floor: a pair of dark pants and a note.

Edward read it, and then looked around. Why didn't Roy just tell him that in person?

"Roy?" he called. No answer. Ed stood and walked down the hall, stopping by the bathroom. He looked in the bedroom and the guest room, and then made his way to the kitchen.

Roy wasn't there.

Worry creased Edward's brow. Why hadn't the man stayed? How could Roy just leave him alone in a strange house after fucking him? Ed was beginning to get a little pissed off. It was only a little after seven, Roy should still be home!

He collected his clothes and threw them on, along with the pants Roy had left (rolling them up and scowling as he did so, they were far too long). Edward wasn't afraid of the man, or of confrontation in general.

He'd just go up to Roy's office and ask him what the disappearing stunt was all about.

Roy beckoned Breda and Havoc into his office as soon as they arrived. Normally bleary-eyed, the two looked eager and awake. Of course they were. Roy smirked, closing the door.

And it popped back open. The think had been doing that for a while. If Roy knew what was wrong, he would have just fixed it with alchemy, but he was way too busy to figure it out. He'd call maintenance later.

"So," Havoc said, grinning and chewing the end of a cigarette. "How badly did you fail?"

Roy sighed dramatically. "I'll have you know, I fulfilled the terms of the bet." That had both their eyebrows rising. He reached a hand into his jacket, and pulled out Edward's pants, allowing them to fall out of their folded state on his desk.

His two subordinates stared open mouthed, then glanced at each other.

Edward arrived at Headquarters and was about to barge into Roy's office when he heard said man speaking inside. He sighed. As little as he cared about interrupting, he didn't know if Roy would dismiss the people he was speaking to in order to talk to Ed. And he was not going to discuss this in front of anyone else. Edward placed his ear by the slim opening in the doorway, listening in.

"—fulfilled the terms of the bet."

Ed grinned. That was interesting.

He turned to peer inside, his smile vanishing in an instant as he caught sight of a very familiar pair of leather pants tumble onto Roy's desk.

"Y-you didn't!" Breda choked out.

"Yes, I did," Roy smiled wide at his success.

"But those are Ed's pants!" Havoc said, an odd look in his eye.

Roy was growing irritated. "Yes, well, you didn't specify who I had to have sex with. You just said it had to be a man."

Breda and Havoc stared at him like he was crazy. Finally, the latter spoke up. "Sir, with all due respect, we figured you'd go after a prostitute or a hooker or something. Not someone you know…"

"I don't see the difference."

Breda spoke this time, folding his arms and glaring at Roy. "He's just a kid! Does he even know what this was about?"

Edward unfroze, shock giving way to fury. How dare that asshole! He pushed open the door, enjoying the loud slam it made as it hit the opposite wall. He tried to keep his temper under control.

"No," he growled, answering Breda's question. "I sure as hell didn't."

Ed walked up to the bastard's desk, grabbing his pants. "How could you?" he asked, teeth gritted. Control, control.

"Fullmetal, I—"

Okay, screw control. Edward reached up, with his automail arm, and slapped the man hard across the face. Neither Breda nor Havoc made any move to stop him, and when the dick turned to face him again, his cheek was a gratifying shade of red.

"You're an ass!" he yelled. "I honestly thought you were better than this. Don't you give a shit about anyone? Me?" Edward stopped himself, spinning around before he could reveal how hurt he was. "I should fucking castrate you, you son of a bitch," he whispered, back turned to all three men. "You're lucky I don't have it in me right now."

And he walked out.