Quandary – Chapter 9

Loki had scarcely ever felt as happy as he did in that moment.

Sigyn was wrapped in his arms, face against his bare chest, her own arms draped loosely around his waist. As she breathed, the hair in her face moved gently back and forth, causing Loki to stare at the white-blonde strands. Even with their child growing in her stomach, the baby bump didn't cause any difficulty as he pulled her closer against him. She merely stirred and did not wake, much to his approval. He wanted to stay there until he was forced to get up.

But with his luck, that happened only a second later.

A surprisingly quiet knock on the door woke Loki from his doze. He did not lift his head, he did not open his eyes. Whoever was knocking could go along with their business, and the soon-to-be parents could—

But then the door opened loudly, interrupting all hopes of a peaceful morning.

A booming voice echoed through the room. "Brother, I—"

Thor.

Sigyn woke up then, lifting her head and gasping at the sight of an equally shocked Thor standing in the doorway. Loki, on the other hand, was not shocked – he was merely annoyed.

The young god rolled onto his back, sighing in annoyance. Sigyn had already scrambled away from him in order to find the twisted blankets near the end of the bed and cover herself – she even took the courtesy of covering Loki, too, which only made him laugh.

Looking to his older brother, Loki realized what it must be like in his head; he had just walked in on his little brother, sleeping bare with a woman after a clearly sleepless night had occurred. But that shouldn't have shocked him at all, considering Sigyn was pregnant. But it was Thor, and he always overreacted.

"Loki," Thor said, voice much quieter than before. His eyes were going everywhere and anywhere but the bed. "I am... sorry. I did not mean to interrupt, I merely wanted to –"

Loki sighed loudly. "It's alright, Thor. Honestly, you're acting like a maiden."

"Nonsense," Thor scoffed, eyes moving down to look at his hands. "I just... didn't expect it, is all."

Loki rubbed his eyes. "I wish you had. Then maybe you wouldn't have come in."

Sigyn apparently saw that Thor wasn't looking, and quickly reached to grab her small nightgown from the floor. After slipping it on at a record speed, she gave Loki a worried look before hurrying into their private bathroom.

Loki had the easy way out. He used magic to clothe himself while he stood to stretch and talk with Thor face to face.

Loki cut Thor's inevitable words short. "Don't go apologizing again, brother. What you saw was no crime."

Thor slowly nodded. "I just didn't think it was... like that."

Loki's face contorted with confusion. "That what was like what?"

"Your relationship with Sigyn. I didn't know that it remained intimate."

Loki wondered what Thor could have possibly been thinking. No, they had only become "intimate," as Thor said, twice now – but they had shared their moments in between. Of course, Thor was his older brother, and had always looked to him as a baby, as an inferior, so Loki wasn't surprised.

Despite all of that, Loki did feel slightly sorry for his brother. Because if the situation had been reversed, and Loki had walked in on him, he would have had an averse reaction as well.

"Thor, listen. What happened on the day that Sigyn conceived was not an accident. We loved each other, and we had for longer than we had realized. We still do, even more so now. So yes, we still show our affection in the same way," Loki responded, his tone low and composed. He was explaining a delicate situation to his older brother, and he didn't think anger would go very far.

"I don't judge," Thor defended calmly. "It's just you're my baby brother, and I've only ever known Sigyn as an adolescent, so the truth of it all still comes as much of a shock to me."

"I'm not a baby," Loki retorted.

"Obviously," Thor said in a teasing tone, motioning towards the disheveled bed with his hand.

Loki held back a smile. "Oh, shut up, you oaf."

"So you don't think it should be of concern?"

"Sigyn, it really doesn't need to be. It's Thor. He's the first person who knew about... us in the first place."

Sigyn shook her head in Loki's direction. It was not alright. Thor had walked in on them, he had seen them with nothing covering them at all, wrapped in bed together. Yes, she knew Thor knew that they had been together before, but him seeing it... it irked Sigyn.

Loki's voice pulled her from her thoughts, putting her eyes back on him. "You mustn't worry about it."

She nodded and shifted in the window seat, turning her head to gaze out of the window. Loki was sitting directly across from her, their legs practically overlapping because of the lack of room.

Sigyn took a deep breath, hands traveling to her belly as her fingers spread across the fabric of her dress. She jumped slightly at the contact when Loki's hand covered hers, his eyes trying to make contact with hers again.

"Thor will tell no one," he reassured, his thumb rubbing circles over the back of her hand.

Sigyn took comfort in both gestures. He seemed to always know what was really bothering her, not just what she said was.

"And even if he did, it wouldn't matter. It would come as a shock to no one," he said, the back of his hand moving to graze across her cheek.

Sigyn took yet another deep breath, but this one meant more – she finally felt calm. Her hand almost moved to take Loki's, which was still near her face, but he was standing before she had the chance, untangled his legs from beneath him and moving off of the window seat.

Before she asked, he answered. "I must go to the library. Thor mustn't be left alone lest he get nothing done."

"What is there to be done in the library?" she asked curiously.

"Books to be read, scrolls to dust off and study. Father's been quite concerned of our lack of attention put towards knowing more of Asgard's past. Foolish, really, considering only one of us will become king and therefore use that knowledge, and since Thor's the obvious choice—"

"Loki," Sigyn said, heaving herself off of the window seat and walking the short distance to him. "You do not know who your father will choose."

Sighing at her words and not looking in her eyes, Loki nodded slightly. Sigyn could tell he didn't believe her, but then again, she wasn't the one who needed to console him on the matter.

"I shall return later," Loki said, tone flat. Before opening the door, he turned back to her. "Will we be dining in our chambers again tonight?"

"No," Sigyn replied. "I believe I'm well enough to feast with everyone else."

The prince nodded before opening the door and leaving. Sigyn wished she could have made him feel better, but she tried to take comfort in the fact that perhaps he would be better that night – maybe she could comfort him then, over their meal.

Sigyn turned to the window then, looking at the rather picturesque view of the city. The palace grounds were glorious, and the view of the villages and pastures was positively breathtaking from that height. It beat the view she was used to.

The peasant village she was raised in was the polar opposite of the palace and its surrounding buildings and courtyards. Her home was situated on a very small patch of farmland, but the crops scarcely grew – and when they did, they ate none of it; they sold it at the market, and they would use the earnings to buy and eat cheaper foods. Other than that, they lived mostly off of the animals they owned: chickens, goats, and one very fat pig. She missed her home, honestly, but she couldn't have stayed. Her mother, her father, even her sisters... they would have tried to be supportive, but they couldn't have been what she needed anymore.

Pulling her gaze away from the window and her mind from her thoughts, she exited the room and walked directly next door, to her baby's soon-to-be nursery. It was full of everything they needed; a crib, changing table, rocking chair, a dresser... it excited Sigyn jut to see it all. They planned on placing a door between the two rooms for easy access when the baby is born, though Sigyn figured the crib would be in their room for the first part of his life.

Just as Sigyn had taken a step towards the crib, Thor's voice boomed from behind her.

"So I'm not the only one," was what he said.

Turning to him quickly, she willed her heart to slow down from the sudden voice. "Pardon me?" She looked at him curiously. "And aren't you supposed to be at the library?"

Thor smiled, walking into the room. "Yes, I am. I was just on my way. But what I mean to say is I'm not the only one who wanders in here when I can't believe this is really happening."

Sigyn nodded and returned the smile, placing a hand on the edge of the crib. "I know. It's getting harder to believe as time goes on. And here I was thinking it would be the other way around."

Thor shook his head, a reminiscent smile on his features. "I knew it would never sink in."

"Why is that?"

Thor's smile shrunk only a little, gaze wondering from the furniture of the room and back to her. "Because Loki's my baby brother. And you are – well, you were Loki's childhood friend, emphasis on child. I had never known you as any older than a child in my eyes. I never imagined you two together. Or, for that matter, Loki having a family before I did."

Sigyn chuckled. "Neither did he, I assure you."

Thor looked eager to hear more. "Was he terribly shocked when you told him?"

Sigyn was surprised at the smile that grew on her face as she remembered telling Loki of her being with child. "Well, yes, he was..."

~ Four months earlier ~

Hyperventilation was not going to help her.

But if Sigyn was counting the things that she was doing that weren't going to help, almost hyperventilating was the least of her problems.

Her heart was racing, she felt nauseated, her eyes threatened to spill the tears from behind their lids, her knees were wobbling... Honestly, if she wasn't holding onto her headboard, she would fall over completely from the stress.

A local healer had told her the news. The healer woman, Nanna, lived in the same village as Sigyn and her family, and had been more than willing to examine Sigyn for free – considering she could have never afforded it if she hadn't. But when Sigyn asked her to do the tests for pregnancy, Nanna had been shocked. But she didn't ask questions, and for that Sigyn was still grateful.

Sigyn had never thought it could happen – though there was no reason why it couldn't – but after she experienced vomiting early in the morning and weariness when doing nothing strenuous, she suspected something was amiss.

Nanna's words were still ringing in her ears, even hours after she first uttered them.

"You are with child, Sigyn. Congratulations... I think."

Nanna didn't know about Loki. She didn't know about their friendship all of those years ago. And she certainly didn't predict anything like the night he and Sigyn had shared to happen. But then again, neither did Sigyn.

But the strangest thing of all, the one thing Sigyn couldn't figure out, was that she didn't feel regretful. No regret, no guilt. It happened, and now she was with child. Loki's child. The prince's child. The possible future King of Asgard's child.

Even so, he was the one she loved. And she knew he loved her, too; that was certainly a plus.

Then came the task of telling him. He would have to be alone, without anyone there to hear them. They had seen each other numerous times since that night, so she wasn't fearful of an awkward encounter – which had never happened, considering that the first time they saw each other after that night wasn't awkward at all, for whatever reason.

Sigyn took a long, deep breath of the cold air in her bedroom in an attempt to calm her heart and lungs. It did next to nothing, but she gathered up her cloak anyway, heading for the door and making it outside without her mother noticing. She pulled the hand-me-down cloak around her, trying to keep her mind on the road in front of her and not let it linger on the mission she was on, the coldness under her skin, or the fact that there was a living being inside of her.

By the time she finally made it to the palace ground's outer walls, she was shivering. No guards lined the gate that was this far from the actual palace, so she needn't worry about not being let in just yet. Though, getting into the actual palace without Loki was probably impossible. Maybe she could make it inside if she found a kind enough soul who would let her in, or someone who recognized her as Loki's friend.

But her luck turned on her as she tried to open the gate, only to find it locked. Sighing a frustrated breath, Sigyn folded her arms under the cloak, tightening it around her in the same motion. The particular gate was always open to the public, mostly because the courtyard within was a popular place for commoners to gather, and partly because it provided an easy entrance to the palace for those who lived there.

She was about to turn away from the towering iron gate when a shadow appeared on the ground next to her, complete with a familiar horned helmet and flowing cape.

"Sigyn?" Loki's voice came from behind her, curious and confused.

She turned, placing a smile on her face and willing it not to look nervous or foolish. "Hello, Loki."

He immediately tilted his head. "What troubles you?"

As always, he knew something was wrong.

Sigyn's mind went through a million different things she could say that would reassure him, but none of them escaped her mouth. "I need to speak with you privately."

Loki's curious expression changed then, into one of concern. "Has something happened? Are you well?"

Sigyn swallowed. "Please, can... can we go somewhere private?"

Loki nodded, eyes still bright with trepidation, and then placed a hand on her shoulder. Within a second, she was no longer in a cold environment, but rather in a warm, comfortable one, without cutting wind finding its way under her cloak or unhelpful sunlight on her cheeks. Gasping at the sudden change in environment, Sigyn then realized she was in Loki's quarters, high up on the many floors of the palace. Loki had teleported them, apparently, and it was a feeling that was very unknown to her.

"I'm sorry," Loki said, pulling her from her thoughts, his tone hesitant. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Sigyn shook her head quickly, glancing around the room as a whirlwind of memories entered her mind. "It's quite alright."

"What is it, then?" Loki asked, his tone now impatient, but tainted with worry all the same.

Sigyn wouldn't look him in the eyes. She couldn't. What if he was angry? What if he didn't want anything to do with her anymore, now that she was with child?

No, not Loki. He loved her, he had told her so, showed her... He couldn't be angry. Right? Sigyn was shivering again, but this time she wasn't cold; she was scared.

He apparently noticed her discomfort, taking a small step towards her and lowering his tone. "Sigyn? Sigyn, what is it?"

Just as his hand moved to hold her arm in an attempt to comfort her, the words fell from her mouth, her voice shaky and her tone quiet.

"I am... I am with child."

His hand never made it to her arm. It fell to sit limp at his side, as he took another small step – but this time it was a step away from her. Having been watching his chest and the ornate armor that covered it, Sigyn could tell that he had stopped breathing from the shock of her words. She still wouldn't look up to his face, afraid of being unable to gauge his reaction. Or, she thought, perhaps she was afraid of being able to see his reaction, and it failing to be positive...

Hearing him exhale slowly, she finally dragged her watery gaze to his face. Her stare was met with a fearful one as his mouth hung open and his green eyes bore into her blue ones. He said nothing as his mouth closed, his gaze moving away from her and to the floor behind her.

She waited for an answer, but it didn't come in the passing seconds that she waited for it. When she couldn't take the only sound in her ears being the crackling of the fire behind Loki, she spoke, her tone still shaky.

"Loki?" was all she could find the strength to say.

He looked to her again, eyes still wide, face even paler than what was usual for him. "Are... are you sure?"

Sigyn swallowed dryly and replied with a less-shaky, but still quiet voice. "Yes. A healer in my village confirmed it earlier today."

Loki nodded slowly, regarding her with indecision, evidently unsure of what to say. She rung her hands beneath her cloak before she spoke up once again.

"Are you happy? I mean, I can't expect you to be thrilled about it all right away, of course, but I just need to know if you feel like everything was—"

She was silenced by Loki's mouth on her forehead, his lips planting a kiss on the soft skin there. But she could feel the instability in the action, the hesitation in his hands as they gently gripped her shoulders.

Loki's hands squeezed her then, as the smallest of smiles tugged at his lips. "I'm surprised, to say the least... but I am in no way upset, Sigyn. You mustn't think that I'm angry."

She felt relieved that he wasn't, of course, but his irresolution about it all made her anxious. What if it was too much for them both? What if they couldn't deal with the shock of the news, and they fell apart and away from each other?

Loki seemingly thought she still feared he was angry, and so he continued. "I could never be angry about something like this. I'd be quite the monster if I did, would I not?"

Sigyn's answer was spoken before she even thought about it. "You could never be a monster."

The smile on his face twitched at the corners of his mouth. He blinked,his gaze flickering away. But then looked back to her face before he continued, clearly eager to change the subject. "I shall tell Thor first, if that's alright. I don't wish us to keep it to ourselves at any length."

Sigyn could relate to not wanting to be alone in the knowledge, but she had no one she could just go to and speak with about such things. "Certainly. I shall return home while you speak with him."

Nodding silently, Loki opened the door to his room for her, but stopped her right before she exited.

"Wait." He examined her rather thin cloak and then traveled to the other side of the room, pulling something out of his wardrobe and bringing it to her.

"My other cloak," she commented, taking it into her arms. She had been looking for it all around her home, wondering where it had gotten to. "How—"

"You left it here, when—" Loki cut his sentence short, clearing his throat. "I meant to get it back to you, but I kept forgetting it was here. But no matter – now you can use it as extra warmth."

She agreed silently, happily wrapping the extra layer of fabric around her. "I shall see you soon then, yes?"

"Of course," was his answer, walking out of the door with her and into the corridor, shutting it behind him.

She was just about to leave, but before she could stop herself, Sigyn was turning and wrapping her arms around his torso, the side of her face pressing against his armor-plated chest. She could feel him dither once again, one of his hands resting on her head for what seemed like a lack of knowledge of what to do. But after a short moment, his other arm wrapped around her shoulders, and the hand on her head began holding her against him. It was a familiar, warm feeling, like she belonged – like she was loved – and she wished to never leave the feeling behind.

And so when the god pulled away, she felt somewhat cold. But she knew he was anxious to speak with his brother, so she smiled up to him and they parted, walking separate ways down the long, stretching corridor.

~ Present Day ~

Even though Sigyn had told Thor scarcely a quarter of the memory, he seemed more than pleased with the information he received, having apparently never heard of Loki's discovery of the pregnancy before.

Thor laughed heartily when she had finished. "So he was rather shaken."

"But weren't you?" Sigyn teased.

"I suppose so, yes. Though I was a bit more... harsh, I'm afraid. But he understood, luckily," the thunderer replied, smile fading slightly.

"He's rather good at that," Sigyn said quietly, recalling the times he had dismissed her bad moods and severe comments – though, she doubted they were that terrible.

Thor didn't stay long after that. He hurried away when he realized Loki would be waiting for him in the library, bidding her farewell with a wave.

Sigyn stayed in the calmly-colored room, however. She found it soothing, probably because even if none of what was happening was planned, the baby-ready room showed that they were preparing for him as if it had been planned. The nursery, the furniture, the supplies; even Loki and herself seemed prepared, if only just partly.

Everything was set in place for the child, as if they had been expecting him for all of their lives.

A/N: Woo-hoo! I finally finished it. I hope you all enjoyed that flashback scene! I never intended the memory to be that long, but, there it is. I figured a bit of a backstory would be nice, eh? And poor Thor... no older brother should have to see that. HA. Anyway, as always, I really enjoyed writing it, despite the slight writer's block I had! Are you all excited for the baby now, or what?! I AM!

This is what I love doing. Writing, planning, plotting... It's what I want to do with my life. So if you could please provide reviews for me to read and learn from, that would be GREATLY appreciated.

AND THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS! I appreciate ALL OF THEM. PLEASE, do keep them coming. THEY HELP ME A LOT.

PS: I would like to thank Lady Viola Delesseps for being an absolutely lovely person. Her review made my week, if not month, and she even mentioned this story and I in her story, "The Avengers Plus Some". Thank you, Lady Viola. You're the best. 33