Chapter Seven - So Close

After much anticipation, the Christmas holidays had finally arrived. The university dorms emptied of people by the droves, and among them were Chris and Michael, pushing through the crowds to get to the buses that were taking them to the train station.

"How am I going to survive?" Michael called to the skies as he and Chris walked across the grounds to the front of the university. "No Melody for a month...I'm going to go mad."

"You'll be fine," Chris replied.

"Well, you'll be without Anne, so I won't be out of company." Chris walked as if he didn't hear Michael. It had been three weeks since he and Linda spoke, and in that time, he had decided to attempt to move on from her rejection. Anne, the girl from his English class that had been trying to get his attention for months, was the perfect distraction to the sting that he didn't want to deal with. Right on cue, Melody and Anne were skipping across the grounds to meet them. With a squeal of delight, Melody attacked Michael, jumping up in his arms and raining kisses all over his face.

"Oh, Mike, I'll miss you," she cooed sadly as Michael set her down on the ground again.

"We still have the bus ride to the train station. Plenty of time to be together, love." Anne smiled at Melody and Michael's exchange, taking Chris's hand in hers.

"You know what would be lovely, Chris?" She asked as they started to walk together.

"Mmm?"

"If you wrote me a poem before going home so that I have something to remember you by." Chris said nothing for a few moments. Words came so easily to him, yet when it came to writing a poem for Anne, he wasn't sure he if could do it.

"Memories aren't enough?" He finally asked.

"You know what I mean." She clung to his arm, leaning into him as they walked. "I want to show everyone back home what a romantic boyfriend I have."

"Oh, so you want to brag about me?"

"Of course I do," Anne said, stopping him. "You deserve to be bragged about." He smiled, but a draw back of the curtain at a window in the building where Linda's dorm was drew his attention and at the window stood a familiar head of blonde curls looking down on them. Even from a distance, Linda was breathtakingly beautiful as she stared down, the gray light of the winter skies highlighting her form so she was more stark, more noticeable against the darkness behind her. She stood seemingly frozen, her eyes burning into Chris's.

A longing he hadn't felt in days rose up in him. God, he missed her. As much as he tried to forget about her, he knew it was useless. His notebook was bursting at the seams with poems and writings about her, his mind constantly bothering him with new things to say. It was like he was a starving artist that had finally found a muse, and as much as he tried to leave the canvas, something else about her would make him stop and start all over again.

In a sudden sweep, Anne suddenly leaned up and kissed his lips, breaking his train of thought. Though his body responded to her bold advance, his mind was still on Linda, already giving him words to write down whenever he got a chance again. They parted slowly and Anne smiled coyly.

"Come on, we'll be late." With a gentle tug on his hand, he followed her, looking back at the window to get one last glance. But the curtains were already drawn.

It was just as well..

Linda sat down on her bed, sighing deeply. Why did she have to look out the window and why did Chris have to be the one kissing a girl? There's nothing wrong with that, Linda, she reminded herself. You told him to leave you alone; he did as you asked. And he had. Almost immediately after their 'thank you dinner', Chris started avoiding her and got himself a new tutor to help him with maths. And of course, he had every right to have a girlfriend. They weren't in a relationship; they were never even together. It shouldn't have hurt to see that scene.

So why do I feel like someone has punched a hole through my chest?

With an annoyed sigh at her torn emotions, she got up and finished packing her bags. Get a hold of yourself, Linda. You've better things to do than get upset over some silly man. But the more she scolded herself at being childish and sulky, the more she realized just how much it truly bothered her to see Chris moving on.

Against his better judgement, Chris managed to separate himself from Anne and went to look for Linda, trying to figure out in his mind where she could possibly be in the huge crowd of students that were at the front, waiting on their rides and buses. But it didn't take long to find she was sitting on a bench by herself and quietly gazing out into the vast winter landscape across from the university. her hands in front of her mouth in her characteristic fashion.

"Hi there," he said, smiling as she turned to look at him, her hair falling gracefully over one of her shoulders. In that moment, he felt his breath catch and cleared his throat to try and hide his slip.

"Hello." She looked up at him, a strange mixture of sad and happy in her eyes and smile. "I haven't seen you in awhile."

"I've been busy," he lied, hoping she wouldn't press the issue.

"I'm sure you have." She looked back to the trees across the way.

"Excited to see your family?" Chris just wanted her to talk to him about anything, everything before he wouldn't hear her voice for a month.

"Yes, I suppose so." She pursed her lips. "My parents have set me up with someone to meet already." Chris tried to hide his jealousy at her words. Once again, a man she didn't even care to meet was going to get to spend time with her.

"Oh, that's nice," he finally said. Linda's face fell slightly and she shrugged.

"I guess so." an awkward silence followed "I saw you and that girl outside the window." Linda sounded stiff and tense at her sudden statement. "Wasn't that the girl from the library?" Chris shuffled his feet at the question.

"It's nothing serious." He fought back the urge to elaborate; the less he said, the better.

"Still." She shrugged. "You deserve someone that makes you happy."

"So do you." Chris returned, trying to get her mind off of Anne and onto herself.

"Well, I'm sure I'll get there someday." Linda looked down at her lap.

"You always have a choice on how that part of your life will go, you know." She shook her head, scoffing.

"So you say. But I really don't. I never had a choice. I never will have a choice."

"Linda-"

"Your girlfriend is looking for you," she interrupted coldly, her face dead serious. "I don't want to keep you." Chris sighed, turning around at the sound of Anne's voice calling his name.

"Chris, the bus is filling up. We need to go."

"I'm coming," he said, looking one time at Linda, who refused to meet his gaze. "See you after holiday." She turned her back to him, swinging her legs over the side of the bench. With a deep sigh, he turned and walked back toward Anne, who was looking over his shoulder.

"Who was that?" Anne asked.

"An old friend of mine."

"She looked familiar..." Chris took her hand and pulled her with him. "She didn't look very happy to see you." Chris set his jaw.

"She has a lot on her mind." They climbed onto the bus and sat in front of Michael and Melody, who were passionately kissing behind them.

"Oh, well, at least I won't have to worry about her stealing you from me," Anne joked, seemingly oblivious to Chris's tense glare. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him brazenly. "I love you," she whispered against his lips and he quickly kissed her back, refusing to give her a chance to wring the words out of him. There was only one person that he could ever see himself accepting those words from and also, could see himself uttering them back to her. He tried to push Linda to the back of his mind, letting his body enjoy the attention...at least for the moment.

Shortly after Chris left Linda sitting, Fran came and sat next to her, following the harsh and pained glare that Linda was giving toward the couples' backs, who were holding hands and talking as they walked to the bus.

"Got himself a girlfriend, eh?"

"And she adores him." Linda threw up her hand. "Just what he needs. A lovesick puppy to feed that overbearing ego of his." She spat the last few words, trying to ignore Fran's look of surprise at her tone.

"No, Linda, you're not bitter, not bitter at all," Fran teased, trying to get Linda to smile. But her scowl only deepened. "Look, I know you're upset, but you turned him down."

"Thank you for the reminder," she bit out.

"It's okay for you both to date other people, you know-" Fran trailed off, feeling sorry for her friend who was sitting looking as though her heart was being stomped on.

"I'm sorry I ever met him," Linda mumbled.

"No, you're not. You've never been happier than when you were around Chris." Linda said nothing. "I might be bold here, but I think he's ruined you for other men in a sense. In the back of your mind, you'll always be comparing your dates to him. He has made it really hard for guys after him; they'll always have a bar set against them." Fran wrapped a comforting arm around her friend. "But you never know, you might like Peter. Aren't you supposed to meet him over holiday?"

"Yes, but still..."

"Just give it a chance. Do yourself a favor and try to forget about Chris, at least for a while." With an affectionate squeeze, Fran stood up. "My bus is here. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"You too." Linda watched Fran board the bus and looked back toward the empty field, hoping deep down inside that she could try to take Fran's advice about forgetting Chris. But she had a feeling that it was going to be harder in practice than in theory. She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and looked it over, smiling briefly at the scribble of words on the page. Even though she had never given much thought to what she wanted in a partner, Chris's friendship had left an impression on her. Perhaps one day, she would by some random stroke of luck find someone with the qualities that she admired in him.

But would you be able to look at that man without trying to compare him to Chris?

She sighed at herself yet again. Why am I so confused?

Because you're starting to fall in lo-

She shook the thought from her mind. "Don't be ridiculous, Linda; you don't love him," she said to the empty space around her. "My God, you barely know him. Besides, it would never work between you two, remember? You discussed that at dinner," she tried to remind herself as a car slowly pulled up to the curb and the window rolled down.

"Ms. Gregory," Timothy, the family driver called to her. "Are you ready to go, ma'am?"

"Yes." Linda picked up her bags and climbed into the car, staring quietly out the window as the car drove along the bleak and snowy roads. Even though she told herself that she was going to forget about Chris Holmes, she had a distant feeling that she was about to lose the war before it even began.