Chapter 11

The room was the library at the Academy. The shelves were lined with the books that would have been the source of research for all the young minds that traversed those halls. The displays were like how she remembered including the Orion's Belt. The long tables for study… it was like she remembered it when she first started as a tutor.

Angela walked through the library looking around. She actually heard voices and realized that she may have stumbled into a dream again. She shook her head and realized that was wrong. She had been following the tick because she was on alert and she felt something was off. She needed to make sure that things were okay.

The first stop was at a stripper joint where she saw Dean enjoying the sights of a brunette dressed like a slutty devil and then was joined by a blonde dressed as a slutty angel. It was so Dean that she couldn't help but raise her brows in bemusement at the whole thing. It was no surprise that Dean was the one that liked to chase girls if he was in the mood along with the drinking so she wasn't going to storm the castle so to speak. He was fine anyway so she let him be and hoped that he had good dreams and left after giving a backwards smile.

She decided to soothe herself surrounded by books. Yeah research was part of the hunting job but even as a young girl she had always loved to learn. Her mother gave her that freedom when she risked being socially ostracized to hire a tutor to teach her more than domestic arts. Sometimes when she just wanted calm, she would come the library of the Academy, sometimes the Library of Congress, the libraries of the castles in Europe… places where there were books she had seen she would go. This time it was the Academy.

It also turned out that someone else like to occasionally visit there too. She frowned upon hearing the voices and followed them to the source. She came across a lone table with a single light and a few books spread out. She saw herself seated in one chair and in the other was Sam and they were talking about something. It had her pause since showing up would more likely freak Sam out and turn it into a nightmare. So she relied on her hearing.

They were talking about art and from the sound of things it was clothing. Her lip twitched a lit into a smile. She remembered going into that conversation how she saw clothing periods as a form of art. She had reminded Sam of it when they went to the colonial reenactment place and Dean moaned about the clothing picked out for him. She pointed out the status they would have and embellished on clothing quality.

"It's nice to find someone who can appreciate old things."

That was something she wouldn't really have said or if she did, the context would have been a lot funnier. It sounded almost cold and calculating. Angela had been cold and calculating before when she needed to but not like that… at least she didn't think so. She looked to see herself look at Sam and it was actually creepy to see her features melt away to reveal none other than Lucifer. Had it been a normal human thing, maybe a scream but Angela was more shocked.

Sam backed away demanded why Lucifer was bothering the hell out of him. Lucifer looked at Sam and replied, "Because I want you to say yes Sam. You are my true vessel."

Angela felt her jaw twitch slightly at what she was seeing. She knew to some degree that Lucifer would try to find his true vessel and he would try multiple means. She didn't know the angelic bastard per se but she knew the methods they used when they really wanted something badly. Didn't matter if they were the good dicks or the one bad dick and… well she couldn't exclude the Grigori either and there was a multitude of those as well.

Sam stood there looking at Lucifer. He seemed to look a little shaken that Lucifer dared to use Angela as a means to get in. He was also firm in his resolve but Angela could sense a slight change in his timbre. He was scared plain and simple.

"You do know that it is rude to intrude on another person's dream… my pretty."

There was nowhere to hide as the bookcase Angela was hiding behind slid away to reveal her. She noted Sam's surprise but wariness as well. She didn't blame him since he had just been fooled by Lucifer. She supposed she was lucky when she sought him out and he didn't appear as Sam. She looked at the angel and replied, "Actually you intruded on mine. This was my dream. Sam just walked into it by accident and you intruded."

It was a lie but like Angela was going to admit that she had 'accidentally' walked in. Lucifer seemed to grasp that and smiled slowly and replied, "And you think that by telling that story wins you points with certain others?"

"I was dreaming. You interrupted. I could ask Morpheus."

"Bold to involve the god of dreams… as if he could help you." Lucifer looked at Angela with a firm look. "No one can help you but then you knew that already. You knew that this time would come down to the final moments and the world will see their great Malachi."

"If you really want to impress me, don't use the bullshit party line," Angela replied as she crossed her arms. "Believe me others have even tried to have me spring your cage and then saunter in like the hero and it could have worked… but we know how that looks. It got you kicked out."

Lucifer looked at Angela with a knowing look. It was going to be a hard game then. "You want to play it that way. Then let's see how it will be when you really have to step up. How will you fare when the past haunts you far worse than what is to come."

"It already has," Angela replied.

"Why don't you let Sam be the judge of that? If there is one thing, I never lie and won't ever to him and I'll extend the courtesy to you." Lucifer gave a pointed look at Angela to indicate he was considering her offer. "Don't abuse it." He was gone before anything else could happen.

Angela looked around and saw that Sam was gone. Suddenly she was in a black void. It was familiar and not familiar and she felt the chills of fear creep up her spine…

Angela opened her eyes and frowned especially when she heard the thrashing around coming from the room. She sat up on the couch and looked at Isaj in lupine form on the floor who was in a very deep sleep for a werewolf. Yet when she moved he opened his eye and looked at her with a look that said it wasn't trouble for him to handle. She gave a slight eye roll at that and slid off the couch and headed towards the source.

Sam was actually twitching and she wondered what it was considering that she had seen a part of it. Sighing more out of concern since she had a good idea what was going on, she walked over and gently prodded his shoulder. When that didn't work she looked around until she saw something on the wall and her lip twitched a little. She then looked down and sat on the edge and started humming a tune before actually singing of all things a Scottish lullaby about a bird. The reason her lip twitched was because her friend John had taught it to her and when he sang…

She had sung it while they were holed up and the whole team would have bawled or have gone to sleep if the squad leader hadn't said anything. John though smirked at her and later said that she should be the one fighting with her voice. It was silly but it did seem to put the team in a better mood then and they were able to fight their way out of the hideout village. Since then she sort of forgot about it and that was that. Now it seemed that it came back to her so she was going to use it.

It had the desired effect and it seemed to calm Sam down a bit. She ended the song and ended up staring out the window nearby and just hummed the tune. When she noticed that Sam was actually awake, she asked, "You okay?"

Sam blinked a little surprised but more… glad that she was there. His dream or nightmare had him spooked and then he heard singing. It wasn't in English but it was soothing. When he woke up he saw Angela staring out the window and humming the same tune. He propped himself up and replied, "Better now. Thanks."

Angela looked at Sam and replied, "You're welcome." She started to get up but was held back when he grasped her wrist firmly and gently. She looked at him and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I should have told you," Sam began as he sat up. He didn't want to appear that he was being talked down to. "I... Lucifer told me I was his vessel."

Angela studied Sam and replied, "I figured as much." At Sam's look she explained, "Well if Dean is Michael's vessel… plus I know a thing or two how balance and what it means 'in the blood'." She peered inquisitively, "You're not pissed are you?"

Sam frowned at her like she was being stupid until the slight smile appeared on her face and his lip twitched into a crooked smile. "No." He sighed and continued, "I forget you've done this job solo long before you joined me and… Dean."

"I've had partners then too but none as entertaining as the two of you," she replied with slight smile. She made a slight face and added, "Much more fun when the dogs came along… and Setna." She couldn't help but chuckle.

Sam chuckled too since he remembered when his brother made a big fuss over a kitten that had squeaked instead of meowed. That was a good time then except for the fact that he and Dean both had their asses kicked and badly but… she was there and she was recovering from hypothermia. That was his fault much like everything else where she ended up hurt; he was the cause and then he almost lost her and he was the one that fought to get her back. His face sobered as he looked down.

Angela saw the change and almost clicked her tongue on her teeth. Instead she reached out and started smoothing out the rumpled locks. "I'm sorry for walking in," she said.

Sam let her continue to smooth out his locks. It was soothing and… he liked her touch. He focused on what she said and replied, "I'm not." At her look, he explained, "I… I'm glad you were there because… I am scared about being Lucifer's vessel."

Angela listened to Sam's declaration. She lowered her hand and was surprised when he grabbed it and held it in his own. It shouldn't have been since he had held her hands before especially when he patched them up for her but that was a legitimate excuse. This didn't quite fit into that category. She'd be lying though if she said she didn't like it especially when he started running his fingers over her hand. She replied, "I can see why. Being a meat suit for anything… it is a bitch."

Sam chuckled as he looked at her. They both could agree on that. "It is but I think I'd prefer a god over a demon… or you."

"It usually is nicer when it is someone that is not an asshole like a demon. Though you should watch out when their personality is closely aligned to yours. Then you might be in a little bit of trouble." Angela added the last part with a slightly flippant manner while gesturing with her free hand.

Sam hummed a chuckle as he held her hand and just rubbed his fingers on it. It wasn't like when she had cut her hands or even the time she broke her hand. He really didn't have an excuse except that he wanted to and it was soothing. "Then I guess you have to have someone distract you."

"Usually works," Angela replied. She knew that this wasn't going to go anywhere unless they talked about what happened. Sighing she said, "Sam… how long has Lucifer been bothering you?"

"Since… I left."

"Why didn't you… talk?" It sounded awkward to her but she didn't want to sound like a needy bitch. Also it almost sounded like she was hankering for gossip. It felt strange even though she wanted to know.

"You know why Angie," Sam replied. He looked up and looked her in the eye.

Angela took in his expression. She knew what he was getting at but… "I suspect," she began, "So why don't you tell me why you didn't… in your own words."

"Do you want to play that?"

"I am not playing, Sam. Trouble comes when a person acts more on suspecting rather than facts. Accusations fly much easier when you think you know the truth rather than verify it." Angela looked down at Sam holding her hand before looking back up at him. "Why?"

Sam looked at her in the eye. It was that clear look she wore when she was being serious but it was mingled with something else. It was so slight that it was easy to miss. As soon as he saw it… he was stunned by it but it was… he couldn't describe it at the moment but it held his interest. He swallowed a bit and replied, "Because Dean and me agreed and… I didn't want to bother you."

"You didn't want to be seen hiding behind me." It was more a statement than a question but there was a slight tone of hurt but it was subtle.

It wasn't lost on Sam though. He knew how it would look especially to Dean. He wasn't stupid. As far as his brother was concerned, he had hurt family and that was doubly damning. It didn't help that she forgave him so readily and was ready to move forward. "Angie, I can't run to you every time I have a problem."

"Can't or won't?"

"Aren't you the one who has been insisting that we make our own choices?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you changing your mind now?"

Never did Sam. I am concerned because I love you and I don't want to lose you. Angela blinked and replied, "I never did. I still believe in the power of choice. The choices we make dictate the life we lead. We make our choices and live with it. Lesson number two."

"So this is a lesson?"

"A reminder." Angela looked off to the side to think about what to say next. "I understand why but I am telling you that it wouldn't have to be hiding. It is never shameful to ask for help."

"Have you ever asked?" It came out before Sam could stop it. It sounded mean to his ears and he regretted it the moment he said it. He apologized and started to get up and walk away. He didn't go into the living room since he knew Isaj was in there and he didn't want anyone more than necessary to know about this conversation. He paused at the door and rubbed a hand through his hair.

"Yes."

Sam turned to find that Angela had followed and was standing in front of him. She stood there like someone resigned to a fate that the end was near. Her expression though was the same as it was when he last looked; it was clear and… whatever the other emotion that was hidden in there. "What?"

"I did ask for help," Angela replied. She adjusted her stance and sighed before continuing, "There was one time I asked for help even though it was already given to me."

Sam realized that she wasn't angry but answering his question. It struck a chord within him. There was no anger against him for what he said and he had been mean because she was being so nice to him. She was being nice and he was the one that set Lucifer free; he started the Apocalypse and in the process hurt her and still she was nice to him. She had spoken of forgiveness and the like and while it was right… seeing it in action was a different thing.

There was also the fact that she was willing to share more about her life; parts that had caused her pain. It was his chance but did he really want to dig that up? Did he want to cause her pain by bringing it up?

There is always going to be someone or something to bring you back to that time that causes the pain but in the end it is a reminder of who you are.

Looking at her he asked, "When?"

"When I was first brought to Karnak… after I was rescued from hell." Angela looked down and then up at Sam. Her gaze was silently asking him to sit and listen. Perhaps if this had been done in the first place, things may have worked out differently but she had no place to say such a thing. Even Bobby pointed that out to her when they talked when he was in the hospital and then later before he kicked her out of the house saying to stop being a miserable old bat and to find Sam.

"When you were rescued?" Sam had read the silent query and found he wanted to know but he would stop it if it caused her any pain. He cared about her too much. He didn't like to see her get hurt by anyone or anything and it pissed him off when the assholes in the bars they hustled in tried to get cute with her. He looked at her and indicated that he wanted to know.

Angela gave a slight nod, "I was actually a mess when I was rescued."

"Can I ask… how?"

Angela slowly smiled and replied, "By an angel." She noted Sam's expression and gave a slight chuckle. "It was my guardian angel that saved me and it was after I escaped the holding where I was kept. Things were pretty dire since I had to fight my way out and I was already affected by the 'fun' that was given to me. I felt like a wild animal and I attacked anything that came at me."

"But you were rescued," Sam put forth. He was curious as to what happened in hell but if Dean's experience was anything to go by… he was willing to concede that her experience was similar but not.

"Yes. My angel saved me and left a big impression." Angela took a breath and adjusted her stance. "He brought me to Karnak, the sanctuary of the Egyptian pantheon mostly because of Isis, the patron goddess of the living dead. Even demons know better than to mess with her in her domain unless they are brazen."

"And you met Hapi and Satet," Sam prompted. He knew well enough about them. He still read the book Angela gave him.

"Eventually," Angela admitted with a slight smile. "I was a pain in the ass since I was already going through withdrawal. The worst parts are the hallucinations; the mind is your own worst enemy." She paused as she studied Sam's reactions. She may have told the truth about it but she could see that he was taking the time to absorb the fact she knew what he went through under Ruby's direction and she was certain he was going to go back to that guilty place because he didn't listen to what she had been saying. She said the same thing she said to Dean, "I forbid you to feel guilty about it."

Sam looked at her and didn't say anything. She had guessed what was going through his mind. "Can't help it Angie. You gave your warnings and I didn't listen."

"I didn't listen plenty of times either. No one is perfect."

Sam looked down and felt his lip twitch, "Always trying to look on the bright side?"

"That whole proverb about the door closing and God opens a window or however it goes… it's a pretty good one," Angela replied with a slight smile. "Anyway I was there and after drying out… I kept to myself. I did feel like a prisoner and I was plagued by the guilt, the pain and I hated myself. Most of the court except the family stayed away from me and left me alone. Hapi and Satet were just the perfect host and hostess and I… I was a bitch."

"A little harsh," Sam countered. He didn't see her like that and it pained him when she spoke so low of herself. "What about Wosret?"

"She was the one I asked for help from," Angela replied. She had crossed her arms over her chest and rubbed her chin as she remembered. "She was persistent the first couple of weeks. I pushed at her to go away but she came back and I stopped being a bitch to her. In the end I came to certain realizations about a few things and in the end I asked her to help me. She was already helping me by basically getting me to open up and then I asked for it formally. Since then… things improved."

"She helped you be you." It was awkward how Sam put it but he could see that she understood what he was getting at.

Angela nodded, "Yes. Now you can understand why I couldn't refuse when she left Hibah in my care. It wasn't a debt to be repaid. We were family and it is something I would do for anyone in that category." She gave him a pointed look.

Sam nodded his understanding. He also understood what she was getting at and even though he had been an ass about it, she was still giving him the time of day. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I know it doesn't quite compute why I am not holding this over your head but… just remember when I mentioned that time has you give a different perspective." She started to head to the door. She looked back as she opened the door. "With a little patience comes understanding. Good night."

"You don't have to go," Sam said, surprising himself. He really didn't want her leave. When she paused he added, "Please… stay."

Angela gently tapped the edges of the door. "It's late."

"Please."

Angela pressed her tongue against the back of her teeth as she thought about it. She asked even though it would sound strange even to her, "May I ask… why?" She ended up making a face to make her confusion known.

Sam saw the look and realized he was going to have to make things clear. "Just talk and… he may come back."

Angela blinked as she studied him. He had made a slight face to indicate that he was a bit afraid to go back to sleep. She could recall another instance when he was scared of going back to sleep because of a bad dream. She had watched as Dean soothed his little brother back to sleep. Even though Dean had been more of less exposed to the supernatural, at that age he was still an innocent.

Taking a breath she said, "Then I guess I have to tell him I'll kick his ass if he does come back."

It felt a bit awkward since they had returned to their former positions when he woke up. Sam knew better than to protest since he had tried previously. Still it set the stage for a talk and it ended up with Angela telling him what she had learned from Jamal. It ended up being a serious discussion until the late hours of the night when she put the covers back over Sam fast asleep. When she left the room she turned her head sharply as she looked at nothing in particular but she sensed something wasn't right. "Dean."

A/N: Looks like Lucifer is still being a pain in the ass and boy did he strike low to get at Sam. Keep watching for more Free and Torn Asunder...