Chapter 4 – Trigger

AN – I do get credit for posting 2 chapters in a single day, right?! :) Seriously, many thanks to all who continue to read and encourage me! I really do appreciate it! We are still heavy in the angst and emotion so don't say I didn't warn you!

AN2 – Mic, thank you for always being there to listen to me rant! :) Your friendship means so much to me and I appreciate your support!

DISCLAIMER – Just as I reported this morning, I have no ownership of CW's Arrow but I will continue to play nonetheless!

Diggle had watched and listened in surprise as Felicity had revealed more words from Lance. Her voice was still bland, quiet but it looked like she had briefly met Oliver's eyes. Maybe it would take both Lance and Oliver to help bring her back but Diggle had to believe she was returning to them.

After Felicity's surprising words at lunch the remainder of the meal was quiet. Diggle exchanged a quick look with Oliver before he looked at Felicity and spoke.

"I think the hand-to-hand training went well but I also think we should work on some target practice." Diggle hadn't mentioned this to Oliver as it was part of one of his alternative plans, but he thought the sounds of battle may also work to reach Felicity. Sounds were often triggers for PTSD and it was clear to Diggle that Felicity was suffering as any soldier would after battle.

Oliver glanced over at Diggle in surprise. He had assumed they would continue to push Felicity with the combat training. As Oliver's eyes found Felicity's blank stare once again though he sighed and looked back to Diggle. Only then did he notice his friend's carefully blank countenance. Oliver's eyes narrowed as he processed Diggle's words further and looked for the motive his friend was hiding from him. However, before he could voice any objection or ask any question Diggle stood and moved to pull Felicity with him. Oliver followed even if he didn't understand the reason for Diggle's change of plans.

Diggle moved quickly to set up and kept a running dialogue as he explained gun safety and basic shooting tips to Felicity. He knew Oliver had his bow and was waiting somewhat patiently nearby but he also knew his friend had questions. Diggle just hoped he was distracted enough by Felicity to not put the pieces together quickly enough.

As he raised his gun Diggle glanced first at Felicity then at Oliver. When he received the other man's nod Diggle forced himself to exhale as he slowly squeezed the trigger - he then fired not just once but actually proceeded to empty the chamber. He had intentionally chosen targets close by so Felicity could hear not the just the gunfire but the impact as well. That night of the battle with Slade had been noisy and chaotic. Screams and sirens had filled the air before the battle even started but the sounds of hand-to-hand combat as well as gunfire had dominated the night. Diggle was counting on the fact that Felicity's brain associated the sounds of gunfire with that night. Felicity's sudden scream proved him right even as it broke his heart.

Oliver was at Felicity's side with his bow drawn before he realized there was no new threats, only old fears. He moved to touch her but Felicity jerked away and only screamed louder. He froze as his heart momentarily stopped beating in his chest before it started pounding out a fast and hard rhythm. He felt Felicity's terror as his own and he was at a loss as to how to help either of them.

"Felicity!" Diggle shouted her name when Oliver made no additional move toward her. His words didn't stop her screams though and when he too reached for her Felicity raised both hands as if to fend off an attack. Diggle couldn't stop himself from retreating when faced with her fear of him.

Neither man moved for several moments as Felicity continued to scream and stare blindly ahead. Just when they thought it couldn't go on any longer the unearthly sound stopped as Felicity gasped then pivoted and ran away. It took several more moments before Oliver broke into a run as well and Diggle followed shortly thereafter.

Felicity's path was random but fast as she ran as if the very demons of hell sought to drag her from purgatory to join them. Oliver moved quietly but just as quickly behind her. He didn't want to scare her further but he couldn't let her get too far away from him. He wanted to be close by when she collapsed in exhaustion and he hoped it happened soon.

Neither Oliver nor Diggle was prepared when Felicity suddenly stopped running. Oliver stopped close to her and he was further surprised when she turned and punched him in the face. He moved quickly so Felicity's fist just grazed his cheekbone but he didn't make any other moves until she continued to fight him. Felicity still stared with unseeing eyes but that didn't stop her from punching repeatedly at Oliver.

Diggle came to halt several feet away and watched as Felicity continued to punch as Oliver simply dodged, blended, and even let her hit him whenever it wouldn't cause her harm. This went on for several minutes until Felicity actually launched her whole body at Oliver and started screaming again.

Oliver felt Felicity collide with him and knock him off balance. He turned in mid-air and used his arms to form a protective cage around Felicity as he landed on top of her. Landing on the hard ground despite the protection of Oliver's arms knocked Felicity's breath out of her and the screaming stopped. For a moment the whole forest was eerily silent and still as Oliver and Diggle stared at the now quiet Felicity.

Felicity met Oliver's eyes and he was surprised to see her instead of just a vacant, empty stare. He was then shocked when she burst into tears even as she again fought him. With tears blinding her Felicity still punched and kicked. Oliver allowed the attack to continue for several minutes until he felt her strikes become weaker and then he lowered his body onto hers to immobilize her. Felicity continued to cry as Oliver switched their position so he was on the ground and she was cradled in his arms.

Diggle dropped to a crouch close to the couple and met Oliver's eyes. He saw his own pain and guilt reflected there as Felicity's heart-wrenching sobs continued. Her whole body was shaking and trembling with her grief and pain. When he couldn't take anymore Diggle nodded to Oliver and walked away. He tried to ignore the echoes of her cries and instead focused on getting water and food so she wouldn't become dehydrated or sick because of her tears.

Oliver understood Diggle's departure and was even grateful for it, as it allowed him to be alone with Felicity and share her grief as tears came to his own eyes. She continued to cry but she was quieter now and he started to whisper to her. It was mostly nonsense at first but soon he found the words to tell her that it was okay to cry, okay to grieve, and okay to be angry. He told her she was not at fault for what happened – that protecting people is what Quentin Lance did and that he chose to protect her because of who he was, not because of her.

As Felicity continued to cry Oliver pulled them up into a seated position and cradled Felicity on his lap. He continued to whisper words of comfort even as he stroked her back, her hair, her legs, anything in reach. He only paused once when Felicity's arms locked around his neck and she buried her head against his neck. Oliver then tightened his grip even as he whispered her name and brushed a kiss against her temple.

Felicity's breath caught when she actually heard and processed Oliver saying her name. It felt like she had just awakened from a nightmare – her head felt fuzzy, her limbs heavy, and her breath came in wobbly gasps. She took a moment to tighten her hold on Oliver and breathe in his scent as she whispered his name. She was shocked to feel him jerk away from her and use his grip on her arms to push her slightly away. As she met his eyes, she saw the pain and fear there and it made her heart ache for him.

"Oliver?" Felicity spoke haltingly as she continued to search his face for explanations.

Oliver released a harsh breath before he crushed Felicity to his chest. He felt her struggle a bit but soon she was clinging to him just as fiercely and now she was the one to stroke his back, his hair in an attempt to offer comfort. Oliver found his first real smile in weeks as he felt her gentle ministrations. He could hear Diggle approaching and he knew he needed to pull away but he couldn't let go of her yet, not when he had just gotten her back.

"Oliver?" It was Diggle who spoke in surprise when he saw Felicity clinging to Oliver. Felicity hadn't touched them lately – she barely made eye contact, she barely spoke, and she no longer sought any physical contact.

"Felicity?" Diggle heard the hope in his own voice as well as the fear as he spoke his friend's name.

Felicity had heard Diggle call to Oliver but she hadn't pulled away as she needed to stay close a little longer. Oliver hadn't moved either though so Felicity didn't feel that bad about her choice. However, when she heard the fear in Diggle's voice when he spoke her name, Felicity knew she needed to acknowledge him. She leaned back only far enough to turn her head to meet Diggle's eyes and smile reassuringly at him.

Oliver felt Felicity move and he prepared for her to separate from him so it was a pleasant surprise when she only turned her head. He instinctively tightened his grip even as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he felt slightly calmer he opened his eyes to find Felicity looking at him again, really looking and seeing him.

"Felicity." Oliver could only say her name as he stared at her.

"Oliver." Felicity smiled a bit as he only continued to stare at her at he had never seen her before. She still didn't understand what was going on, but as both Oliver and John were okay and with her she figured it couldn't be that bad.

Diggle dropped to the ground in a boneless heap beside the couple. He couldn't help but reach out to touch Felicity's hand and had to swallow hard when she gripped his hand in return and smiled again at him. He finally made himself look away from her to meet Oliver's eyes. He saw the same profound relief in his friend's eyes as he knew was in his own. Felicity was back!

Oliver watched as Diggle took Felicity's hand and she smiled at him as she held on to him. He met Diggle's eyes even as he found Felicity's other hand resting on his shoulder and held on to it. Felicity turned to meet his eyes and smiled at him as well. Oliver knew Diggle shared his relief even if Felicity didn't quite understand what was going on just yet. Felicity was back and that was all that mattered!

It had started with the three of them and now it really was the three of them again.