When they arrived at the Tavern, they all crowded round Athos' usual table in the corner because this was a night of collective brooding. Aramis didn't need to but he would show solidarity with Porthos regardless. However, it soon became clear that their youngest companion hadn't got the brooding memo; the one that stated 'Musketeers brood deeply and in silence.'

"...and she just left. Just like that. Can you believe it?" d'Artagnan had been wittering on for half an hour now. He was remarkably clear spoke considering how much he had drunk. This was a fact that Athos, Aramis and Porthos may consider later because, right now, they were all thinking of varying ways of getting him to stop talking.

"..but then the new neighbour moved in and she was..." d'Artganan continued oblivious.

Porthos groaned and lent over to Aramis, "Will you help me bury his body?"

Aramis snorted lightly but looking across at Porthos and Athos made him realise he should probably take action. D'Artganan risked death from Athos' demeanour alone. He scanned the room and his eyes settled on a particular serving girl, Marie. Marie had a thing for his young friend.

"d'Artganan. D'Artagnan!" Aramis tried and failed to butt in but the boy didn't seem to notice. "Ok," the older man sighed and stood. He hooked his free hand under d'Artagnan's armpit and pulled him up. His other hand firmly held his drink. If the plan he was forming failed, he may need it.

"Hey. Hey!" d'Artganan protested as he tried and failed to keep his drinking hand steady. Wine sloshed all over the table.

Aramis shrugged, "You've probably had enough anyway." He watched the boy frown and more worryingly sway; he may have been able to string a sentence together but there was no denying he was drunk.

Aramis guided him away from the table and then glanced back at his friends who both raised a glass in thanks.

"You know Porthos should forget Alice. She wasn't good enough for him," d'Artagnan started up again loudly. Aramis wasn't listening as he pushed the boy forward to another table. The quicker his plan was executed the better.

"What are you doing?" d'Artagnan asked as Aramis pulled up a chair and shoved him into it.

"You'll see," Aramis replied as he sat down in a chair opposite. He'd managed to catch the eye of Marie and had gestured for her to come over.

"I knew an Alice once," d'Artganan sighed dramatically, "I loved her."

"Oh yeah," Aramis took a swig of wine and focussed back on his young friend.

"Yeah, she was beautiful. I took her out a lot. Bought her treats. I really did love her. Of course, I had to shovel her shit-"

Aramis spluttered at that. "What?" he exclaimed as he wiped drops of drink from his beard.

d'Artganan narrowed his eyes, "I looked after her so that meant-"

"Please tell me we're not talking about a woman?"

D'Artganan looked at Aramis like he was stupid, "No, Alice was a horse."

If Marie wasn't close to arriving at the table, Aramis could have given d'Artagnan a slap to rival one of Constance's as the Gascon proceeded to burst into a fit a laugher. As it was, he did give him a swift kick under the table because Aramis did not want the boy looking happy. Instantly d'Artganan's face dropped as he reached to clutch leg.

"Marie, lovely to see you," Aramis said turning on the charm as she came to stand by them. Marie blushed despite herself.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

Aramis gestured for her to move nearer so she bent forward, "My friend needs cheering up."

Marie glanced across the table at d'Artganan. He had sat back up but still held the perfect pained expression from the kick. Aramis was slightly proud of himself.

"Aw, what's happened?"

Aramis shrugged, "I don't know. Perhaps you could try talking to him?"

"I could try," the girl smiled and Aramis knew his plan was working. He vacated his chair so Marie could sit down.

D'Artagnan noticed and looked at Aramis questioningly. Aramis leaned over to whisper in his ear, "I think she likes you."

D'Artganan's eyes sparkled and he smirked, "Oh. Right."

Aramis took one last look between them, smiled and then turned to join his friends. He could hear d'Artagnan waffling on again all the way back. Once he reached Porthos and Athos, he said "Let's go to my place quickly."

...

The next morning, Athos, Porthos and Aramis shared a look before they crowded round d'Artagnan at the table. The boy was slumped in his seat with his head in his hands.

"Good Morning!" Aramis said loudly.

D'Artganan flinched and narrowed his eyes. "Is it?" he mumbled.

"Oh come on," Athos said, "It's not that bad."

"Yeah besides, we want to hear all about Marie," Porthos nudged the boy causing him to groan.

Aramis smirked, "I'm famed for my matchmaking skills; was I successful?"

All they got in return was another groan and he moved his hands to his ears.

Athos removed one of them, "Are you going to tell us?" he asked.

D'Artagnan sighed heavily and glared at his so-called friends, "What's with the questions? Can this not be quiet time?"

Aramis shook his head, "Quiet time was last night."

Porthos nodded, "You've chosen to learn the hard way."

"Again," Athos added.

D'Artganan sighed and closed his eyes, "I hate you all."

"Aw, don't be like that," Aramis pretended to be wounded.

"Now, tell us about Marie?" Porthos asked again.

"Did you tell her about Janette who left when you were 16?"

"Did you let her know about the neighbour who trampled on your dreams?

"Did you tell her about the love of your life; Alice the horse?"

D'Artganan glanced at them all in turn with an expression of horror as the night before flashed back into memory. When his head hit the table with a thump, his friends toasted to a job well done.

...