I love you. The words echo in Ryan's mind like mist, swirling and elusive. I love you, Mike had said, and Ryan told him goodbye. He told him bye, hung up, and threw the phone out the car window. He tries not to dwell on the words, on the way he probably hurt Mike because how could he not have in that moment.

He keeps his eyes focused on the road, tailing Joe's followers from a safe distance. He doesn't want to think about Mike's big blue eyes looking wounded, but the image haunts him all the same. It's not that he's afraid he doesn't love Mike back, but he's more afraid that he does, and he wonders what the hell that actually even means. He should have told him, he should have just told him and given the kid that peace, but there's also the possibility that it could make the situation even worse. Like for the fact that Claire has magically come back from the dead…like the fact that Mike's already been a target of Joe's and Lily's and this could make it even worse if they want to get to Ryan.

Ryan wants to scream and drive into a tree just for the sake of doing so. He shakes his head and focuses back on following the cult members. One thing at a time.

Getting into Joe's camp wasn't exactly difficult. Nor was it to kill the guard and steal his robes. The easiness that Ryan has acquired when it comes to killing the bad guys is one of the reasons he drank so much. Then he got sober in order to do it better, and now he's trying to protect Mike from turning into this too…and the thing is Mike makes him better, makes him want to be better.

Ryan pushes the thoughts aside as he follows the other robed figures to the center of the camp where Joe is being given a hero's welcome of applause and chants of "praise Joe." The whole thing makes Ryan's stomach turn in hatred that tastes like bile.

And when he aims his gun, takes the shot at Joe and misses, he really starts to hate himself. It doesn't take too long for Joe's lackeys to find him in the woods, but once he hears Joe wants him alive he goes with them willingly, letting them think they have the upper hand.

While Ryan is getting captured, Mike and Max are working to try and figure out where Ryan is, or where Joe or Lily Gray is because finding someone right now would be great. Mike is staring at the files on his computer, not really looking at them. His mind is on Ryan and he's too worried about Ryan not getting killed to even feel hurt at the way Ryan just said goodbye to him and that was that. He's afraid of the conclusions his mind will draw if he thinks about it too long.

"How are you, Mike? Really?" Max asks and shakes Mike from his musings.

"It sucks, you know. But I'm dealing."

"This coffee sucks, give me a bit more," she says.

"I don't know what you want, Max," Mike says, and thinks that he just doesn't know what anyone wants anymore.

"Running from grief is never healthy."

"I'm not running from it. This is all a distraction. It's there, the pain is always there, but I have a job to do." Mike turns away from her and goes back to the files.

Max asks more questions and tries to tell him killing Lily Gray won't fix anything. He appreciates what she's trying to do, but the questions are also getting under his skin. Whatever it is she is asking for he can't seem to come up with the right answer, and he kind of just wants her to stop. They need to find Ryan and that's all that is occupying his thoughts for the moment.

And then Max phones rings and someone has a location on Lily Gray. They aren't at Lily's house for very long before they figure out she is going after Joe.

"Ryan might be there too," Max says and locks eyes with Mike.

"Let's go," Mike says, and rushes out the door with the FBI following after him.

Meanwhile Ryan is gaging Joe's stability and current state of mind. They're obsessed with each other still, that much is obvious. Joe calls Ryan "my friend" and Ryan thinks he might feel an actual twitch in his brain.

"I'm not your friend, Joe."

"You're my best friend, Ryan. You came all this way just to see me. I'm touched," Joe says with a smirk.

And then Joe has Preston kill the woman from the pit. Someone films the whole thing and Ryan figures they will probably send it to Preston's father. Joe's new religious aim is whacky even for him, and Ryan can see how Joe is starting to fall apart like he did before. Emma is yelling at Joe about suspicious vehicles outside the gates and how they have to leave now.

"I'd listen to her, Joe," Ryan says. "But you're too much of a shrewd narcissist for that, huh?"

"Real friends can speak the harshest of truths to each other," Joe replies, not looking fazed. The way they speak to each other has become an all too close reflection and Ryan wants to end this all so badly. When Joe brings up Claire, how he misses her, Ryan almost tells him she's alive just to spite him, but of course he would never give her up like that.

Finally Joe leaves and Ryan promises to see him at least one more time. The way Joe said his own time may be up kind of sticks in Ryan's mind. Joe's at the point where he knows he will get caught again and that kind of person has no inhibitions about their actions. It makes a person dangerous, or even more so in Joe's case.

Ryan waits a few moments and then he's throwing himself across the room to break the chair he's tied to. When he gets out of the room he is greeted by a parade of gunfire and dead bodies dressed in red standing out against the snow on the ground. He finds a gun and fires his way across to another building. The guys with the guns aren't Joe's or the FBI's so what the hell is going on?

And then he does hear the FBI and comes out of the room, hands in the air. They realize it's him and then Ryan sees Max running toward him. He hugs her tightly and wishes they would stop meeting after one of them has been in a near death situation.

"Lily's work," Max explains briefly.

"Shit, where's Mike?" Ryan asks and they look at each other. Max starts running down the path and Ryan follows. They both know who Mike is looking for.

And they find him standing over Lily Gray, pointing a gun at her while she kneels in the snow with her hands above her head.

"I will go to jail. I'll go easily," Lily says in that placating tone she so often uses.

"Mike, don't do this," Ryan says.

"Back off Ryan."

"You're better than this," Ryan pleads.

Lily looks up at him, tells Mike he is a good man.

"You're wrong Lily. I used to be. Not anymore."

"Mike, please. This is not you, this is me. Don't be me, please," Ryan says, and his tone is so sincere that Mike looks up at him with tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He is drowning in so much pain and confusion from everything. He starts to lower the gun, but then Lily looks at him with such contempt in her eyes and he feels the anger at having his father brutally taken from his resurface all over again.

"I know this isn't going to fix anything for me, but it will fix you," Mike says and pulls the trigger two times firing into Lily's chest. She falls back and Ryan rushes over to check her pulse. The blood from her chest bleeds out through her clothes and stains the snow red.

Ryan looks up into Mike's eyes and feels his heart break from the cold hollowness he sees there. There's a part of him that is glad Lily is dead, but Mike shouldn't have been the one to do this. Her sons are going to be coming for Mike now and in that moment Ryan swears on his life that he will protect Mike. He owes it to him. He owes Mike a life when this is over, after all.