One Margarita = Sanity Loss
By: Dampened
Edited by TheElementHero
"Good morning, sleepy head!"
Anna woke from her blissful, snow-free slumber to find her lovely older sister crouching over her.
"Gu way!" she half mumbled, half barked at Elsa.
The queen huffed at Anna's response, and dramatically sat on the end of the bed, hands on her hips. "Do you remember that we promised to meet Kristoff at the mall today?" Elsa smirked as she leaned closer. "You know... your little crush."
Anna responded magnificently by promptly putting the covers over her ears and burying her face in the lavish pillows, grumbling, "Go 'way, Elsa. 'M sleepin'."
Elsa sighed, and an evil smile crept over her face. "I didn't want to do this to you, sister, but it appears that I must." Waving her hands, a giant snowball the size of Anna's bed formed, hovering over top of the stubborn princess.
"Are you sure you still want to sleep?" She nudged Anna and made her look at the giant monstrosity above her.
The little princess's eyes grew wide and she started to scramble out of bed. "I'm up! I'm up!" she yelled, desperately trying to shield herself from the snowball about to fall on top of the bed.
Elsa moved away from the bed and put her hand on the door handle, grinning at Anna. "You know what they say, Let it Go!" She motioned with her hands, and the snowball fell from the top of the ceiling to the bed, covering Anna from head to toe.
"Oops, did I just do that?" The queen smirked evilly. "You better get ready downstairs!" She opened the door and flew down the stairs, laughing her head off the entire way.
Anna poked her head out of the massive snow bank Elsa had created and complained, "So cold!" She climbed out of the snow and groggily shook her hair, which changed the messy, uncoordinated, static ball of fluff on her head into a sexy, hot, chic hair style in less than 2 seconds.
"Wait a minute," she groaned, after finally breaking out of her sleepiness. "Did she actually just... ooh! That little-"
Elsa listened to the loud slamming of doors from upstairs while she finished her lovely breakfast of toast. "Well, I know who's up now."
She watched Anna run down the stairs, and before the angry redhead had started to yell and possibly start calling her a "little ice dingbat princess", Elsa created a sled out of ice and smiled. "Get on!"
"I haven't even had my breakfast yet, and I still haven't changed," Anna complained.
Elsa formed an ice hand, threw Anna onto the sled (with extra padded seats of course), and jumped on. "Well, guess who didn't get up early enough this morning? Let's go!" Elsa broke the kitchen wall with her super-pro ice powers, and created a slippery ice roller-coaster which the two women began to slide down.
It was fast.
"But breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day!" Anna screamed, as they flew down an ice slide that looped around the castle. She attempted to make the irresistible-unable-to-say-no-cute-awesome-dog-eyes-which-made-Elsa-say-yes.
"Fine," Elsa grumbled, and she forced the ice roller coaster down into the nearest McArendelles.
As they flew down the ice rollercoaster, Anna screamed again, "Why are we on an ice roller-coaster again?!" Anna looked down and quickly muttered,"I'm afraid of heights, you know! And why aren't we stopping at McArendelles?!"
Elsa smirked, "Who said anything about stopping?" The ice roller coaster broke through the window of McArendelles, causing people to flee in terror as she yelled, "Sorry to you and you and you!"
The queen grabbed a burger and threw it in Anna's face. "Catch!" she grinned.
Anna, being a total klutz, obviously missed the burger, and her eyes widened as a big, fat Sloppy Joe, but not too sloppy, crammed into her face and sent her careening out of the sled and into the open air.
"Wha-! Elsa! Just drop us off at the mall!" Anna screamed as she started to fall toward the ground.
"Ok, ok." Elsa rolled her eyes and formed another ice hand to grab Anna, placing her back on the sled. She directed the coaster toward the mall and glanced at her shaking sister. "How was your breakfast?" Elsa said, smiling sweetly.
Anna glared at Elsa and b-slapped right across her face, "No comment." Anna grumbled.
Elsa smiled, not even fazed. "Good." She ejected both of them out of the sled, and landed on a snowbank in front of the mall.
"Uh, hi?" Kristoff peered at Anna and her older sister, who was laughing like crazy in the snowbank.
"Oh, hi Kristoff!" Elsa waved her hand wildly and stood up, "Can you meet us at the Arendelle Bar? Anna is having some problems today." She pointed to Anna who was lying groggily in the snow.
Kristoff shrugged and Sven snorted. After an awkward pause, he reindeer began to run off into the mall to devour a little girl's carrot cake. "Sven, wait! Uh, meet ya, there!" Kristoff waved his hand and chased after Sven.
"See ya!" Elsa waved and turned to look at Anna who was now covered in snow and still in her pajamas with a t-shirt that said, "I 3 Elsa, the Snow Queen".
"Do you still like me now?" she asked cheekily.
Anna got up and glared at her sister. "I hate you."
Elsa shrugged and said, "I got you covered on the clothing." Elsa formed a pair of jeans and a shirt, which was obviously made out of ice, but somehow not cold. She put them on Anna and took the pajamas.
Anna muttered, "Thanks. Now let's go and meet Kristoff."
They walked into the mall, finally seeing Kristoff covered with bruise marks at the entrance to the Arendelle Bar. "Old ladies with sticks are more painful than they sound," he muttered as the sister's faces morphed into confusion. "Don't ask."
They laughed and entered the restaurant, Arendelle Bar. Anna settled on a table near the window and when they all sat down, they were greeted by a waitress. However, this was no ordinary waitress. It was the great and powerful Hans wearing a maid skirt and top.
"Hi." Hans blushed and sheepishly waved his hand and said, "Um, what would you like to order, girls and boy?"
Kristoff looked at Hans in disgust and was not slightly turned on by a bit, which is irrelevant of course. Elsa laughed and said, "Waitress' choice,"
Hans started to turn around when he accidently dropped his notebook, causing him to bend down and grab it. Since Hans was wearing a super-short maid skirt, it flew up, revealing his hairy legs and a pair of tight, white panties, which led to many different reactions. Anna started to scream while Elsa yelled, "My eyes!"
Kristoff snapped a picture on his phone.
Anna and Elsa glared at Kristoff. "What?" Kristoff defended himself, "It's to savour this moment."
Elsa rolled her eyes and started to say something when Kristoff flashed his phone showing Han's white panties and she started to yell again. "My eyes! They burn!"
Anna smirked as Hans came back holding three platters of burgers, fries, and sodas. Hans bowed, which revealed his little panties to the couple behind them, and they fainted. He blushed and said, "Three burger combos for you guys and an extra little something for Elsa." The redhead placed a small margarita in front of her.
"What's that?" Elsa asked.
"It's called 'Ice Queen. It was made in honor for you when you ended that snow storm in Arendelle," Hans responded.
"Ooh, that's cool!" Anna smiled and turned to Kristoff, "What do you think of- KRISTOFF!" she screamed. "Why are you looking at your phone still?! Are you looking at the picture of Hans' little p-"
Kristoff guiltily shoved the phone in his pocket and shook his head. "Of course not!" he said quickly. He then turned to Hans and hurriedly asked him, "Why are you here anyway?"
Hans sighed. "My parents decided to punish me because of that little 'incident' by making me work here, and I'm required to wear a maid dress. No harm done though, right, Anna?" He glanced at the girl who responded by punching him in the face again, causing Hans to fall back and land on another table, revealing his little panties again.
This time it was Elsa who was snapping the pictures, while Kristoff stared over her shoulder and whispered, "Send those to me as soon as you can!"
Anna rolled her eyes and stamped her foot, whining, "You're all perverts! Somebody help me!"
"I'll help you! And in ore ways than you will even realize." Suddenly, Armando, a Mexican stripper, appeared in a thong and put his arm around Anna.
The princess screamed again and yelled, "Elsa, help!"
Unfortunately, Elsa was too busy taking pictures of Hans' panties while Kristoff tried to cover up his nosebleed.
"Get away from me you creep! Where do you even come from anyway?" Anna yelled.
Armando hugged her and responded, "I come from the S.T.U.D (Sexy, Tall, Underwear and Duckies) association. We're also fans of you guys! My previous author, who will remain confidential, let me come and help you. By the way, if I can't assist you well enough, we have lots of replacements." Armando motioned to a giant crowd of males in multi colored thongs waiting outside the Arendelle Bar.
Anna pushed Armando away and forced a painful smile. "I'm ok, I don't need your assistance."
The Mexican man burst into tears and left the restaurant. "Finally, that's over," Anna grimaced. She rolled her eyes and turned back to Elsa and Kristoff, who were staring at their phones. Elsa's margarita glass lay empty on the table.
"Heey, Annna!" Elsa's voice was sluggish when she looked up and saw her sister. Rushing over to her, the queen put an arm around the younger girl and drawled, "Looooong lime, not see!"
Anna glared at Hans, who had scurried back to the kitchen. "Elsa! You realize a margarita has alcohol in it!"
Elsa looked up at Anna, her eyes watering, and made a derp face. "No wonder it tasted so naaasty."
Anna picked up Elsa, threw her over her shoulder, and with almost no effort started to walk home. "I gotta go, Kristoff! Make sure to- YOU'RE STILL LOOKING AT THAT PICTURE!"
Kristoff responded guiltily while blushing, "I was texting my, um, elderly aunt!"
Anna rolled her eyes, "You don't have an aunt."
Elsa mumbled, "Annnnnna," She paused for a moment, before continuing, "I forget your naaame." Elsa then fell asleep on Anna's shoulder. The princess sighed, and began to carry Elsa home when suddenly the Duke of Weaseltown, (It's WESTLETON, you fool!) jumped out of the bush, threw Elsa into a snowbank and started to dance with Anna while random classical music started to play.
The Duke of Weaseltown (It's WESTLETON!) looked up at Anna, since he was really short, and smiled 'sweetly'. "We never got to finish our dance at the party!"
Anna tried to scream, but couldn't because she already screamed like ten times in the story.
"C'mon!" The Duke of Weaseltown (YOU FOOL! IT"S WESTLETON! GET IT RIGHT!) tried to seduce Anna by slowly unzipping his tuxedo, and then with one fluid motion, ripped his pants off, revealing small tighty whities. Anna responded by kicking the Duke in the no-no spot, and he flew across the map landing somewhere in Atlanta, Georgia.
Anna looked back at where Elsa was supposed to be lying, and of course, Elsa was nowhere to be found. "Really?" Anna muttered as she followed a path of weird ice sculptures that seemed to resemble sloppy joes.
The princess ran across the path, managing not to slip over a couple frozen people blocking the way. "Great, when Elsa is drunk, she decides to freeze some people! Wonderful! Sorry guys!" She threw some salt onto the frozen people. "Hope you melt!"
After a while of skating, (Anna stole some skates from some random shop on the street), Anna spotted another statue. As she grew closer, her eyes widened when she realized what it actually was. It was Hans, frozen solid, and still in his maid costume, picking up his notebook and flashing his panties. Also, Elsa added some boobs onto Hans.
"Eek!" Anna yelled and she was blinded by the 'smexyiness'. Anna shut her eyes as she slid across the sidewalk and into Elsa, who was surrounded by a bunch of fanboys because she melted off her dress.
"Hey Annnnna!" Elsa jumped onto Anna's back and wrapped her arms around the other girl's neck. "Youu'rree a horrsie right? Giddyup!"
Anna was blushing a fierce tomato red because Elsa had melted off her clothing. "Elsa, can you put on some clothing?"
Elsa's words slurred again as she spoke, drawling, "What's clooothing? Is that a song? Oooh! Annna. You shud hear the nuu song I made up. It' a soijwiorj, um, segoat, um, sequit, um, seguut, um, ooh, it's a sequel to my ooother song, Let it Goooooooooooooooo! I call it, LET IT GOAT!" She began to make random cow noises before jumping off Anna and spinning around in circles as she sang.
Anna grimaced as she tried to talk some nonsense into Elsa, "Elsa, how about we go home?"
Elsa wasn't listening to Anna and was singing her new song, Let it Goat. "THE GOAT GLOWS GOATY ON THE GOATAIN TONIGHT! NOT A GOAT TO BE SEEN! A KINGDOM OF GOATSOLATION AND IT LOOKS LIKE iM A GOAT!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! THE GOAT IS RISING LIKE A GOAT AND SOMETHING SOMETHING GOAT GOAT GOAT! GOAT MACARINA! I LIKE GOATS! I LiKE GOAT! GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAT! SOMETHING SOMETHIENG SOMETHING! IM NEVER GOATING BACK, THE PAST IN THE GOOOOOOOAT! LET IT GOAT! LET IT GOAT! I CANT HOLD THE GOAT BACK ANYMORE!"LET IT GOAT! LET ITTTT GOAT! TURN MY GOAT INTO A GOAT! SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING! MY GOAT FLURRIES IN THE AIR INTO THE GOATS! WOOO! MY GOAT IS SPARKLING IN SOME FROZEN FRACTAL GOATS! AND ONE GOAT CRYSTALLIZES LIKE A GOAT INSIDE! IM NEVER GOATING BACK AND THE GOAT IS IN THE AIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! LET IT GOAT! LET IT GOAT! I CANT GOAT IT ANYMORE! LET IT GOAT! LET IT GOAT! TURN MY GOAT INTO A GOAT! HERE I GOAT AND HERE I GOAT! LET THE GOAT RAGE ONNNNNNN! THE GOAT NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY! WOO!
Anna was now yelling at Elsa who was dancing on top of the princess. "Get off me, Elsa!"
"NEVER! LET IT GOOOOAT!" Elsa screamed.
The redhead was still blushing. "Seriously, can you please put on some clothes? That was seriously awkward when you were… You know what? Never mind. I'm going home."
Anna pushed the snow queen onto a snowbank. She ran off into the sunset, and, after three short minutes, married a burrito and gave birth to a taco. After another three minutes, she had 17 taco-children, and owned a giant chocolate car.
In five minutes, the burrito turned into Hans, who, still in his maid costume, ran to go make out with Kristoff.
Anna sighed, annoyed. "Why are all the hot guys taken?"
The End.
So yeah, that was kinda random. Umm... It would be awesome if you reviewed and stuff.
Compliments to TheElementHero for doing an awesome job for editing! (Check out his profile)
And thanks for reading,
One Review would be awesome :)
-Dampened