Chapter 3: Let The Fight Begin
When I wake up, the sun is not out yet. I can't sleep anymore and I feel anxious. The fight begins tomorrow. Well not the arena, but interviews are really important for sponsors. If you are interesting enough and they will like you, they can be your lifesavers in the arena. We will train for interviews this morning and tomorrow will be our last day here. I wish I would have my sketchbook. That would help me calm down. I ask the Avox man, who's supposed to be my servant. He just points to the microphone. I had no idea I can order other things than food with it.
„Sketchbook and pencils." I say clearly and really in a few seconds everything lays in front of me.
„Cool." I take it with a smile and I walk to the balcony in the dining room. There I sit down, lean my back against the wall and watch the sunrise. It's beautiful. Now I realize that it could be one of my last sunrises. I watch it quietly and sketch the outline of Capitol illuminated by the rising sun. The first sun beams are warming my face and somehow it feels calming. Almost like at home, when I climb out of the window, sit on the roof and watch the district in the mornings. I have no idea how long have I sat there until a voice makes me jump.
„That's really nice." says Haymitch.
„Thanks. I had to occupy my mind somehow, because if I wouldn't, I would have to think about next days and that's something I don't want to do yet." I admit and look down at my drawing.
„Hmm. I understand that." he says that in a strange sad voice and when I look at him by the corner of my eye, he seems really sorry for me. For both of us I guess. He seems like he likes us very much.
„So I guess, today you will be separated huh?" he asks.
„Why?"
„Well do you want Katniss to know your interview secret?" He asks with a questioning look. I shake my head.
„Okay then in the morning you'll be with me and she'll be with Effie and in the afternoon it will be the other way around." he says and I think about it for a while.
„Okay, but I think she'll be angry at me." I say. As much as she doesn't want to be friends with me, I know this will make her angry.
Effie accompanies us after a while and we just tell her about our schedule when Katniss comes. She doesn't pay attention to us and stuffs herself with lamb stew. I can't blame her, it's really delicious. After a while she finally looks up.
"So, what's going on? You're coaching us on interviews today, right?" Katniss asks.
"That's right," says Haymitch.
"You don't have to wait until I'm done. I can listen and eat at the same time," she says.
"Well, there's been a change of plans. About our current approach," says Haymitch.
"What's that?" she asks casually.
Haymitch shrugs. "Peeta has asked to be coached separately." Well when he says it like that I sound like a traitor a bit. She also looks at me like that. Shocked. Betrayed. But she composes herself quite quickly.
"Good," she says. "So what's the schedule?"
"You'll each have four hours with Effie for presentation and four with me for content," says Haymitch. "You start with Effie, Katniss." he adds and after a while, they go away to Katniss's room, while me and Haymitch go to the sitting room and sit down on a couch.
„Well I think we know how we're going to present you." he starts and eyes me curiously.
„Do we?" I ask.
„Of course. If you haven't changed your mind, you will be the boy in love." he says and looks at me. „If you will reveal your love for Katniss tonight, it will be something entirely new in the games. And new attractive things are good for sponsors." he sums it up.
„So what will we do now?" I ask. For a while he looks at me.
„Well I'll ask you questions and you answer. Try to be amusing or something. We'll see how it goes." Haymitch says and pulls out a paper.
He's interviewing me for like two hours, with pauses when he's giving me different advice. But generally he says that I am good at this. He says I'm very amusing and if my nerves won't spoil it everyone will love me. At least I'm good at this when I can't fight well. I guess it won't help me in the arena much.
We have some lunch together and we change with Katniss. She goes to Haymitch, who looks pretty skeptical now and I go with Effie, to my bedroom. She teaches me how to smile for cameras, how to speak with smile, how to charm people with my smile. She teaches me how to sit and stand in right positions and she also teaches me how to behave properly between people and especially to women. In the end she gives me advices about speaking, but it seems that I don't need it very much. I'm kind of talkative person and I think I'm able to use my words well. Effie is happy about me in the end.
„Ohh you will be amazing honey." she beams at me. „You're charming naturally, nothing like Katniss with her deadly glares. If she will go through the interview well, it will be a miracle." she complains.
„She'll be okay." I smile at her and we head for dinner. Katniss is not there and Haymitch smells like alcohol and when I ask how were they, he seems drunk.
„I gave it up. Three hours of work and no success." he goes away angrily and I'm little concerned about Katniss. My concerns are confirmed, when I hear her screaming at the avox girl
„Just leave it! Just leave it be!" but instead the girl goes in and closes the door. I'm concerned how she is, but I leave her alone and rather go back to the balcony and draw Capitol again. After some time, I go to bed, anxious about tomorrow.
I wake up early again. Even more anxious than yesterday. Today I will tell all the Panem that I love Katniss. I'm not afraid of the Panem knowing it though. I'm most afraid about her reaction. I have my breakfast in my bedroom. Then I just keep sitting in my bed, drawing first image which is in my mind. I draw Katniss from the day of the opening ceremony. Dressed in flames. She was looking amazing and I enjoy drawing it. In the middle of the morning, my prep team arrives. They clean all my body, cut my hair and give them some new shape with gel. They treat my nails and hands so they are softer. They put makeup on my face even though I don't like it. They spray my hair with some golden glitters so it glitters on light. Then Portia comes and brings the clothes. She has a black suit for me, but it's not just an ordinary suit. On the edge of its sleeves, there are flames in orange, red and yellow colors and the flames are also on the collar. They are made of little gems so they sparkle at light. Almost like a real fire. She also gives me a plain black shirt. When I'm dressed into it, I must admit, that I look striking.
„You look amazing Peeta." Portia exclaims and the prep team agrees with her enthusiastically. „Well and as I have heard, you have no problem with speaking so I'm sure you'll be stunning." she gives me a huge smile.
„I hope so." I mumble. I'm starting to be nervous.
„Well Haymitch said that you have something really special for the interview. Something no one ever forgets." she says and looks at me curiously, when the prep team is gone.
„Can you keep a secret?" I ask with a weak smile. She smiles and nods.
„I will tell all of them my secret." I take a deep breath "I love Katniss." I say and wait for her reaction. She's just in awe for a few seconds.
"Oh, my... Is it true? Or just made up for the show?" she asked and she looks scared.
"True." I say sadly. "But she has no idea about it."
"Oh my, this is gonna kill the audience. Haymitch was right, no one will ever forget this." she says in shock.
Then she looks at the clock and hurries me out to the elevators. In a while Katniss comes with Cinna and her prep team. She looks stunning. In a beautiful dress full of shining diamonds making glittering flames all around her. Same ones I have on my sleeves and collar.
"Wow! You look amazing." I smile at her. She smiles nervously. "I hope it will hide my lack of speaking skills." she whispers to me and I give her an encouraging smile.
"You'll be just fine. They will love you." I say and she just smiles again.
We just arrived to the ground floor where the temporary stage is. The other tributes are being lined up to take the stage too. All twenty-four of us will sit in a big arc throughout the interviews. I'll be last of all. I would prefer to be first, but as Haymitch told me it will be a good ending of the evening.
Right before we parade onto the stage, Haymitch comes up behind us and growls, "Remember, you're still a happy pair. So act like it." I don't know why he says it and what could we do here to show that we're friends.
An elevated seating unit has been set up for prestigious guests, with the stylists commanding the front row. The cameras will turn to them when the crowd is reacting to their handiwork. A large balcony off a building to the right has been reserved for the Gamemakers. Television crews have claimed most of the other balconies. But the City Circle and the avenues that feed into it are completely packed with people. Standing room only. At homes and community halls around the country, every television set is turned on. Every citizen of Panem is tuned in. There will be no blackouts tonight.
Caesar Flickerman, the man who has hosted the interviews for more than forty years, bounces onto the stage. It's a little scary because his appearance has been virtually unchanged during all that time. Same face under a coating of pure white makeup. Same hairstyle that he dyes a different color for each Hunger Games. Same ceremonial suit, midnight blue dotted with a thousand tiny electric bulbs that twinkle like stars. They do surgery in the Capitol, to make people appear
This year, Caesar's hair is powder blue and his eyelids and lips are coated in the same hue. He looks freakish but less frightening than he did last year when his color was crimson and he seemed to be bleeding. Caesar tells a few jokes to warm up the audience but then gets down to business.
Each interview lasts exactly three minutes. Then a buzzer goes off and the next tribute is up. I'll say this for Caesar, he really does his best to make the tributes shine. He's friendly, tries to set the nervous ones at ease, laughs at lame jokes, and he can turn a weak response into a memorable one by the way he reacts.
As he goes through the tributes, I look at Katniss by the corner of my eye. She seems very nervous. Her hands are shaking slightly and she's also having a nervous smile on her face. Well at least she smiles. Most of the tributes seems to have some typical behavior. Sexy Glimmer from 1, deadly Cato from 2, sly redhead Anika from 5. When they come to 11, I'm startled by Rue. Dressed in a gossamer gown complete with wings, she looks like an angel. How can they send her into the games I can't understand. She's very sweet and I can't imagine how someone could not love her. The boy from 11 looks deadly too. He's really big and seems strong. He's not a talkative guy, but it doesn't matter in his case.
Now it's Katniss's turn. I'm nervous for her and I secretly cross my fingers for her. As they call her name, she stands up and walks toward Caesar. For now, she looks like a real lady, walking straight in a beautiful dress. I keep my fingers crossed that she will not mess it up.
"So, Katniss, the Capitol must be quite a change from District Twelve. What's impressed you most since you arrived here?" asks Caesar.
Oh, damn it, such a question for Katniss who hates Capitol and everything in it. Caesar couldn't ask worse. But to my surprise, Katniss focuses on some spot at the main elevated seating and speaks calmly and clearly.
"The lamb stew," she says after a moment. Phew! That's good enough. Caesar laughs and the audience too. That's a good sign.
"The one with the dried plums?" asks Caesar. I nod. "Oh, I eat it by the bucketful." He turns sideways to the audience in horror, hand on his stomach. "It doesn't show, does it?" They shout reassurances to him and applaud. That's what I meant about Caesar. He helps you.
"Now, Katniss," he says confidentially, "When you came out in the opening ceremonies, my heart actually stopped. What did you think of that costume?" That's not such a bad question.
"You mean after I got over my fear of being burned alive?" she asks with a nervous smile. Big laugh. A real one from the audience. She's better than Haymitch said.
"Yes. Start then," says Caesar.
"I thought Cinna was brilliant and it was the most gorgeous costume I'd ever seen and I couldn't believe I was wearing it. I can't believe I'm wearing this, either." She lifts up her skirt to spread it out. "I mean, look at it!" The audience oohs and aahs and I smile a little. Then she twirls around and that's even more amazing. Even I release a quiet „wow".
"Oh, do that again!" says Caesar and so she lifts up her arms and spins around until she stops and catches Caesars hand and giggles a little. I can't even recognize her in that charming lady.
"Don't stop!" he says.
"I have to, I'm dizzy!" she giggles and Caesar puts an arm around her as a true gentleman. "Don't worry, I've got you. Can't have you following in your mentor's footsteps." he says and everyone laughs while the cameras are on Haymitch.
"So, how about that training score. E-le-ven. Give us a hint what happened in there." Caesar asks.
Katniss looks up at the game makers.
"Um . . . all I can say, is I think it was a first." she says. I bet she's right.
"You're killing us," says Caesar as if in actual pain. "Details. Details."
"I'm not supposed to talk about it, right?" she asks looking at the balcony. One of the gamemakers shouts "She's not!" I guess it's the one who fell into the punch bowl.
"Thank you," she says. "Sorry. My lips are sealed." she turns back to Caesar.
"Let's go back then, to the moment they called your sister's name at the reaping," says Caesar. His mood is quieter now. "And you volunteered. Can you tell us about her?"
"Her name's Prim. She's just twelve. And I love her more than anything." she says quietly.
You could hear a pin drop in the City Circle now. Everyone is looking at her with held breath.
"What did she say to you? After the reaping?" Caesar asks.
"She asked me to try really hard to win." The audience is frozen, hanging on her every word.
"And what did you say?" prompts Caesar gently.
"I swore I would." she says quietly.
"I bet you did," says Caesar, giving her a squeeze. The buzzer goes off. "Sorry we're out of time. Best of luck, Katniss Everdeen, tribute from District Twelve." the applause for her is enormous and lasts long after she's seated.
Thank God, she made it well. I'm relieved for her only until the moment when my name is called. I have always imagined the moment when I'll tell her about my love, I always felt nervous about it, but I have never imagined it will be in front of all the Panem.
We start easily with Caesar. I tell my baker's son story and also compare some of the tributes to the breads of their district. The audience loves it.
„What is different in the Capitol than at your home?" Caesar asks. I smile over my idea.
„Well your showers are really weird. First time I took a shower it attacked me with bubbles which smell like roses. Tell me Caesar, do I still smell like roses?" I ask laughing and the audience is laughing out loud too. We have a little bit of fun sniffing each other and making fun of us. The audience is brought down absolutely.
„Okay now, more seriously Peeta." Caesar says and his tone changes into serious „Is there some special girl in district 12 waiting for you?" he smiles at me. Oh this is a perfect start for my love bomb.
„No" I shake my head hesitantly. I catch a glimpse of Haymitch on the main elevated seating and he gives me a slight nod of approval.
"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?" says Caesar. My heart starts to beat faster and my hands start to sweat. Oh man, I'm sure she's gonna kill me for this. She's gonna kill me right here on the stage. She'll shot an arrow right through my eye!
"Well, there is this one girl. I've had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I'm pretty sure she didn't know I was alive until the reaping." I say, my voice shakes a little and I add a sad shy smile.
Sounds of sympathy from the crowd. Unrequited love they can relate to. That's what we want.
"She has another fellow?" asks Caesar.
"I don't know, but a lot of boys like her," I admit. And it's true. I have no idea if she have something more with Gale.
"So, here's what you do. You win, you go home. She can't turn you down then, eh?" says Caesar encouragingly. I'm losing my nerves, but I have to carry on. So I give him a sad smile again.
"I don't think it's going to work out. Winning . . . won't help in my case," I say hopeless. I feel how my fingers start to shake.
"Why ever not?" says Caesar, confused.
Okay, now I'm really seriously in danger of heart attack. I think my heart will jump out of my chest any moment now.
"B-because . . . because . . . she came here with me." I stammer out and I feel a blush coming to my face and suddenly I look down. Just an old habit. It's out! She knows! I'm scared to look at her, but that's kind of impossible, because her face is on all screens now. Mouth half open in a mix of surprise and protest, magnified on every screen. Then she presses her lips together and looks down at her feet as a pink blush comes to her cheeks. She's angry I just see it in her eyes. When we go out of this stage, she's gonna kill me.
"Oh, that is a piece of bad luck," says Caesar, and there's a real edge of pain in his voice. I guess he didn't expect this. The crowd is murmuring in agreement, a few have even given agonized cries.
"It's not good," I agree and I am really sad now.
"Well, I don't think any of us can blame you. It'd be hard not to fall for that young lady," says Caesar. "She didn't know?"
"Not until now." I shake my head. There is still that blush on her face and for a second she looks up.
"Wouldn't you love to pull her back out here and get a response?" Caesar asks the audience. The crowd screams assent. No I wouldn't because she is going kill me.
"Sadly, rules are rules, and Katniss Everdeen's time has been spent. Well, best of luck to you, Peeta Mellark, and I think I speak for all of Panem when I say our hearts go with yours." he finishes and dismisses me. I thank them quietly and go back to my seat. One look at Katniss confirms that she's furious.
After the anthem stops, we're supposed to go back to our floors. Katniss is quickly away and in the elevator, so I have no chance to meet her. I ride another one. When my door open, I can't see her, but as I step out, she just arrives in the other elevator.
Before I can do or say anything, she slams her palms into my chest with such a force that it surprises me. I lose my balance and crash into an ugly urn filled with fake flowers. The urn tips and shatters into hundreds of tiny pieces. I land in the shards and I feel a sharp pain in my hands as the pieces of urn cut them. It starts bleeding and I'm a little angry with her.
"What was that for?" I ask offensively. In fact I don't know why I'm asking, I already know the answer.
"You had no right! No right to go saying those things about me!" she shouts. She's really furious. Only her glare intimidates me. Now the elevators open and the whole crew is there, Effie, Haymitch, Cinna, and Portia.
"What's going on?" says Effie, a note of hysteria in her voice. "Did you fall?" she asks me. She and Cinna helps me get up.
"After she shoved me," I say.
Haymitch turns on her. "Shoved him?"
"This was your idea, wasn't it? Turning me into some kind of fool in front of the entire country?" she accuses him angrily.
"It was my idea," I say while pulling spikes of pottery out of my hands. It really hurts. "Haymitch just helped me with it."
"Yes, Haymitch is very helpful. To you!" she screams.
"You are a fool," Haymitch says in disgust. "Do you think he hurt you? That boy just gave you something you could never achieve on your own."
"He made me look weak!" she screams again.
"He made you look desirable! And let's face it, you can use all the help you can get in that department. You were about as romantic as dirt until he said he wanted you. Now they all do. You're all they're talking about. The star-crossed lovers from District Twelve!" says Haymitch.
"But we're not star-crossed lovers!" she says angrily.
Haymitch grabs her shoulders and pins her against the wall. "Who cares? It's all a big show. It's all how you're perceived. The most I could say about you after your interview was that you were nice enough, although that in itself was a small miracle. Now I can say you're a heart breaker. Oh, oh, oh, how the boys back home fall longingly at your feet. Which do you think will get you more sponsors?" she shoves his hands away and breathes deeply to calm down I hope.
"He's right, Katniss." Cinna says and puts an arm around her.
"I should have been told, so I didn't look so stupid." she says, but I know better. She doesn't want me. She wants Gale. She's afraid that he will found someone else.
"No, your reaction was perfect. If you'd known, it wouldn't have read as real," says Portia.
"She's just worried about her boyfriend," I say gruffly, tossing away a bloody piece of the urn. I'm angry at her. Or myself? I don't know. I'm just disappointed that she doesn't want me even as a friend.
"I don't have a boyfriend." she says immediately, angrily and so offensively that it surprises me a little. Maybe they are really only friends.
"Whatever," I say controlling my nerves a little more "But I bet he's smart enough to know a bluff
when he sees it. Besides you didn't say you loved me. So what does it matter?" I say and the disappointment in me is worse and worse. For a long while she's looking at me and thinking.
"After he said he loved me, did you think I could be in love with him, too?" she asks. It seems that she's finally behaving reasonably.
"I did," says Portia. "The way you avoided looking at the cameras, the blush."
They others chime in, agreeing.
"You're golden, sweetheart. You're going to have sponsors lined up around the block," says Haymitch.
"I'm sorry I shoved you." she says to me and she really seems embarrassed and sorry.
"It doesn't matter," I shrug. "Although it's technically illegal." I add.
"Are your hands okay?" She asks carefully looking at them.
"They'll be all right," I say quietly.
"Come on, let's eat," says Haymitch.
We all follow him to the table and take our places. My hands are bleeding too much so Portia takes me away to bandage them. We come back and eat another delicious dinner. Katniss is quiet and she seems she's really regretting shoving me. I get that from the way she looks at me scared and sorry. After she does that like fifth time I give her a smile
„I'll be okay. Really it's nothing" I assure her and her mouth shapes into a sad smile too. Than we watch the interviews in TV.
When the anthem finishes and the screen goes dark, a hush falls on the room. Tomorrow at dawn, we will be roused and prepared for the arena. The actual Games don't start until ten because so many of the Capitol residents rise late. But we must make an early start. There is no telling how far we will travel to the arena that has been prepared for this year's Games.
I know Haymitch and Effie will not be going with us. As soon as they leave here, they'll be at the Games Headquarters, hopefully madly signing up our sponsors, working out a strategy on how and when to deliver the gifts to us. Cinna and Portia will travel with us to the very spot from which we will be launched into the arena. Still final good-byes must be said here. Effie takes both of us by the hand and, with actual tears in her eyes, wishes us well. Thanks us for being the best tributes it has ever been her privilege to sponsor. And then she adds "I wouldn't be at all surprised if I finally get promoted to a decent district next year!" It's perfectly Effieish.
Then she kisses us each on the cheek and hurries out, overcome with either the emotional parting or the possible improvement of her fortunes. Haymitch crosses his arms and looks us both over.
"Any final words of advice?" I ask.
"When the gong sounds, get the hell out of there. You're neither of you up to the blood bath at the Cornucopia. Just clear out, put as much distance as you can between yourselves and the others, and find a source of water," he says. "Got it?"
"And after that?" Katniss asks. I can't miss that her voice shook a little.
"Stay alive," says Haymitch. It's the same advice he gave us on the train, but he's not drunk and laughing this time. And we only nod. What else is there to say?
While Katniss goes to her quarters, Portia informs me when she'll come and where will we go. After that we say goodnight and I head to my quarters too.
I have no chance of sleep. I give up after two hours of lying in bed. All the time I have to think about tomorrow. About the arena, how will it look like? And how the hell will I protect Katniss from being killed? Well I have my plan. Maybe it is a suicide, but it's the best I could think of. I have no chance of fighting the careers so I decide to be allies with them to protect her. I'm determined to run away at the first moment. To avoid the bloodbath as Haymitch said. But then, when the air is clear and the career pack is done, I will come there with my hands up and ask for an alliance. Either they kill me or accept me. I hope for the second. I give up any effort on sleeping, I grab the sketchbook and I go up to the roof. The fresh air and pen in my hand calms me down.
There is a lot of people out on the streets. Singing, cheering, celebrating the games. It's disgusting they can celebrate an execution of twenty-three kids. The air is cold, but fresh and nice in here, so I don't plan to come back to my room. I draw the Capitol for like half an hour, when her voice almost makes me jump.
"You should be getting some sleep." she says. If only I could.
"I didn't want to miss the party. It's for us, after all." I say with a bit of humor and stand up. She comes next to me and looks down over the railing.
„Are they wearing costumes?" she asks quietly.
"Who could tell?" I answer "With all the crazy clothes they wear here. Couldn't sleep, either?"
"Couldn't turn my mind off," she says.
"Thinking about your family?" I ask.
"No, All I can do is wonder about tomorrow. Which is pointless, of course. I really am sorry about your hands." she says with a terribly sad look.
"It doesn't matter, Katniss," I say "I've never been a contender in these Games anyway." I smile.
"That's no way to be thinking," she says a bit angrily to me.
"Why not? It's true. My best hope is to not disgrace myself and..." I hesitate. Should I say it to her?
"And what?" she asks looking at me.
"I don't know how to say it exactly. Only . . . I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?" I ask. She shakes her head. "I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I'm not." I explain it more.
"Do you mean you won't kill anyone?" she asks surprised.
"No, when the time comes, I'm sure I'll kill just like everybody else. I can't go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to . . . to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games," I say. I don't know if she understands me right.
"But you're not," she says. "None of us are. That's how the Games work."
"Okay, but within that framework, there's still you, there's still me," I insist. "Don't you see?"
"A little. Only . . . no offense, but who cares, Peeta?" she says.
"I do. I mean, what else am I allowed to care about at this point?" I ask angrily. I look her in the eyes intently, waiting for her answer. She takes a step back.
"Care about what Haymitch said. About staying alive." she says and I'm surprised by the soft tone of her voice and worries in her eyes. Looks like she almost cares about me.
I smile at her sadly. "Okay. Thanks for the tip, sweetheart." I don't know why did I use Haymitch's endearment for her, but I like it.
"Look, if you want to spend the last hours of your life planning some noble death in the arena, that's your choice. I want to spend mine in District Twelve."
"Wouldn't surprise me if you do," I say with a smile. I know better than her. I'll do anything to get her back. "Give my mother my best when you make it back, will you?" I joke.
"Count on it," she says, and then she turns back and leaves the roof.
I finish my drawing of Capitol in hour. I plan to give it to Portia. I go back to my room and try to sleep. Well I don't very much. I keep waking up and looking at the clock. How many hours of my life I still have? Who knows, but I bet it won't be more than days.