"Pa, I'd like to go fishing!" Tom Sawyer asked his father Michael Keaton. "Well son, if you go fishing," Michael Keaton said, "that means that you're a little bitch with a chode for a cock." "Okay! Let's go then!" Tom remarked as he saw Tim Burton lurk about their window. "Why is Tim Burton there, Dad?" Tom asked as Michael Keaton looked in horror at the man. "You don't own me anymore, Tim!" Keaton yelled as he shielded himself with his son's own body. "I'll get you back Keaton! I always will!" Tim yelled. Johnny Depp came into view as well and Tim continued, "Don't forget your counterparts, Mike! Johnny here has plenty, all who are willing to capture you." All through the door came Edward Scissorhands, Sweeney Todd, Willy Wonka, The Mad Hatter, Ichabod Crane, and Captain Jack Sparrow led all. "I'm a pirate, savvy," Jack mumbled as he drew out his sword. "And I also control myself savvy," he added as he took Keaton and his son through the back door and escaping on his Black Pearl with Peter Pan from the ABC Channel show Once Upon a Time and Long John Silver the space cyborg pirate. Losing Tim Burton and his minions, they ran into another ship boarded with Donkey Kong, Rainbow Dash, Dovahkiin, Caesar the Ape, The Archangel, Will Smith, Eragon, Saphira, and Michael Scott, who were led by Catholic Jesus. "What's your quest, savvy?" Jack asked Jesus. "My Neo-Apostles and I are on the quest of finding Baby Jesus, my past counterpart." Jack withdrew and said, "That's what we're set sail for, savvy. We work for Mormon Jesus, not Catholic Jesus, savvy." "Then we have a problem, savvy," Catholic Jesus said. He continued, "There will be peace for now, but if we run into you again, you best be prepared for a fight." "Pa, I'd like to go to Catholic Jesus' side," Tom Sawyer told Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton replied, "No son, you are American, and if you were to choose sides, you would go to Mormon Jesus, the Jesus of the Americas. And we are to be neutral in this quest for Baby Jesus, for we have my counter parts to deal with." Michael "Archangel" Richards sneaked behind Saphira and rammed a spear up her anus and yelled, "Fools! I am a double agent, for I work for Mormon Jesus!" He flew onto the other ship and they disappeared into the dark night of the ocean. Eragon tried to heal Saphira with his magic and was greeted by Arya who whined, "But you're not strong enough." Eragon glared back at the woman and complained, "Bitch, please. You're an elf, so you can heal her properly with your advanced magic." "Oh, okay," replied Arya while she was sticking her hand into the anus, which was pooling with dragon blood and diarrhea. A light came from her hand inside the anus, stopping the flow of poo and blood. When the healing was almost over, Saphira gave out a cry with flames bursting from her mouth. The poo and blood were replaced with dragon vaginal fluids that Arya found orgasmic and licked it all up. Saphira had a smug look on her face, for she had came. "Caesar is mad!" yelled the intelligent ape. "Caesar no get to stick Caesar's hand in dragon ass." "Don't worry Caesar," Catholic Jesus replied, "you'll get yours soon." Caesar stared at him in awe as Jesus gave him a wink. Meanwhile on 4chan, some clopping fur fags were writing out the fake continuation of the story since The Archangel betrayed Catholic Jesus and were turning it into a My Little Pony clop fic, all hoping for a fucked up artist to draw out scenes of the story once he reads it. Well step aside low lives, because this is what happened. The Archangel stabbed Saphira in the thigh and went off to the other group, sailing into the nigger night of the blue ocean. Eragon healed Saphira, and Rainbow Dash tried to follow them but was stopped by Catholic Jesus who said that Monstro would eat her in the darkness of the sea. Meanwhile on the other ship, Michael Keaton fell asleep dreaming of his two main counterparts, Betelgeuse and Batman. The Archangel secretly conversed with Jack Sparrow, Peter Pan, and Long John Silver, so quietly that not even the Peeping Tom could eavesdrop on what they were saying. Once disbanded, the four checked on Michael Keaton and woke him up from his nightmare, John Silver saying, "You piss your pants, you'll feel a warm sensation upon your thighs that will soon become a cold sensation." "You can't ride the Black Pearl for free unless you work for Mormon Jesus, savvy," Jack Sparrow said. "I am with Mormon Jesus savvy," Michael Keaton replied. "You said that you weren't before, savvy," Jack Sparrow said. "I've changed my mind savvy," Michael Keaton declared. "Oh, okay savvy," Jack said. Keaton added, "I have caught your Savvy AIDS, savvy." Jack responded, "No, savvy. Mine is Savvy Cancer, savvy. Captain Hook gives out Savvy AIDS, savvy. Savvy Cancer makes you say it once in each sentence as long as you're implying someone, savvy. Savvy AIDS makes you an uptight prissy little school girl bitch like Captain Hook, savvy." "Is there a cure savvy?" Michael Keaton asked. "You can't talk for 24 hours and must dry hump a blood or soul relative within that time savvy," Jack answered. "Tom, get to humping, savvy!" Keaton ordered his son. "Fuck no, savvy," Tom Sawyer said, and soon realizing that he had Savvy Cancer, he became obliged to dry hump his father. The two began their work. Meanwhile Mormon Jesus approached Thanos immediately after the secret ending of Marvel's The Avengers and proposed an alliance that would benefit them both. "We may be allies, Mormon Jesus, under one condition," Thanos said. "You must bring me the one that they call Runka Chunk, otherwise known as Rina Chan. She is the key to everything, and once I have your word, I will partake on your side of the Quest For Baby Jesus." "Delicious," Mormon Jesus replied.
THE END? NO. BUT YOU HAVE TO WAIT, THOUGH, BITCHES!