Chapter 5: Healing
"Peeta, we've got to go now." Katniss shakes my shoulder.
"Go?" I'm still half asleep and I can't understand why she says this when I'm not able to walk at all. "Go where?"
"Away from here. Downstream maybe. Somewhere we can hide you until you're stronger," she seems scared and looks around.
I understand her. It's impossible for us to stay here, Cato and Clove would surely find us during the night. So she dresses me up and helps me stand up. The moment I stand on my leg is agonizing, pain pulses through it and I'm not able to get further then fifty yards. I think I'm going to faint soon. Luckily it seems that Katniss notices this and she sits me down. I take deep breathes and try to not vomit all over her from all the pain. Katniss looks around and I can tell that she's trying to find some shelter. After a while her eyes linger on a small cave about twenty yards above the stream.
"Okay Peeta, I think that should be a good shelter, when I add some branches and other camouflage." she says and points in its direction.
It's about twenty feet away and it seems impossible for me to get there. I have no idea how she managed to do it, but finally she got me in there. I'm feeling terrible. I'm shivering even though I feel hot, my heart is beating like crazy and I breathe deeply, not even mentioning the terrible pain in my leg. I think I will not survive this. She prompts me against the rock wall and I wait while she puts some pine needles on the ground. Then she unrolls her sleeping bag, lies me down and tucks me into it. She's so nice to me. She tries to give me some fruit but I feel it would just come back up in a few seconds so I reject it stubbornly. In the end I swallow some medicine for my fever. I observe her as she tries to camouflage the cave entrance by some vines. She's so brave. And even though she tries to hide it from everyone, I know she has a big heart too. Such a big loving heart. I think the camouflage looks well enough, but she tears it down with frustrated groan. I feel so bad that I doubt I will survive this night.
"Katniss," I say. She goes over to me and brushes the hair back from my eyes. That touch of her soft hand is like heaven for me. And that worrying look in her eyes, it seems like she really cares about me.
"Thanks for finding me." I smile weakly.
"You would have found me if you could," she replies, but after a moment her eyes look scared. Maybe she also thinks I will not survive this night. If not I want her to deliver my goodbye.
"Yes. Look, if I don't make it back —" I begin, but she even doesn't let me finish my sentence.
"Don't talk like that. I didn't drain all that pus for nothing," she says angrily and I have to smile over that a little.
"I know. But just in case I don't —" I try, but again, she interrupts me stubbornly.
"No, Peeta, I don't even want to discuss it," She says placing her fingers on my lips. They're so sweet... I would like to kiss them forever if I could.
"But I —" I start again, but that only makes her angrier. To my shock she leans forward and places her lips right on mine to stop me from speaking. I'm so shocked, that my eyes stay open and I can see how hers close and how soft her face expression is. Katniss Everdeen is kissing me on my lips! And on her own! I can't believe this. Her lips are cold and soft like silk and kind of sweet. I love them. And then she breaks away and pulls the edge of her sleeping bag around me. I'm so taken aback, that I'm not able to speak. Then she gives me an intent look. Her beautiful silver eyes stare into my eyes unwilling to blink. I see a determined look in there. She's determined to keep me alive.
"You're not going to die. I forbid it. All right?" she says stubbornly, but softly. Can I resist this request from such a beautiful eyes? No I couldn't.
"All right," I whisper and close my eyes calmly. Dreaming about her lips being on mine again. And I doze off like that. I don't know how long have I been sleeping, but I'm startled when I wake up, because her lips are touching mine again. I snap my eyes open and it is really her. Sitting by my side with a smile. Oh I could die right here and now and be happy that this was the last moment of my life. I'm wearing that idiotic smile again. Will I ever stop doing that?!
"Peeta, look what Haymitch has sent you." she says with a strangely happy voice. Then she presents me a pot full of broth. Well good luck with that, sweetheart. If you'll get that in me and make it stay there, it would be a miracle.
She's really patient with me. She coaxes me, begs me, she even tries to threaten me. But only the smell of that broth makes my stomach turn and I'm sure if I will eat it, it would do nothing good in me.
„Peeta, come on." she says desperately. I guess she's starting to be annoyed.
„You need to eat this!" she insists angrily.
„It will be okay, you'll see. It will help you to get stronger." she promises with desperate eyes. I'm still not convinced. She looks at me angrily for a while and then her look changes into something else. Something tells me that she has some other idea. A mischievous smile appears on her face and in her eyes. She leans closer to me, so close that our noses are just inches apart. Will she kiss me again? She looks at me intently, with a mischievous smile.
„If you will eat that broth, my kiss will be your reward." she says in a seductive whisper. Her braid is tickling me on my face and I can smell her beautiful scent of pines. I look her in the eyes. She really means it? She seems like she does. Then she sits back up and looks at me with the broth in her hands.
„So?" she asks with raised eyebrows and a smile on her face.
She obviously knows how to persuade me. Her lips are the only reason I could fight with this. So I half sit up and sigh, while a victorious smile appears on her face. But I won't give up so easily. After every few spoons, I reject to eat more until she gives me a kiss. So finally I get ten kisses in exchange of eating the pot of broth. I think it was a good trade. And her lips are so good that I don't want anything else. She was right, the broth has made me feel better and a little stronger too I guess. I lie back down and doze off quickly, because I still feel tired.
I wake up sometimes for a moment and I always open my eyes to see if Katniss is still there. First time I wake up, she's looking out of the cave and going to the stream, second time, it is getting darker outside and she's sitting at the entrance with her bow and quiver ready. I feel weaker. And cold, I'm shivering, but I think it is from my fever. Next time I wake up, she's half sitting next to me in the sleeping bag, her body is pressed against mine and she inspects me with a worried look. I feel worse. She's saying something, but I'm kind of woozy and her words don't make much sense. She goes out for a while and comes with a bottle of cold water. She wets a bandage and puts it on my forehead carefully. At first I'm startled, because it's like freezing, but after a moment it feels so relieving that I close my eyes and let her do whatever she wants with me. I wake up several times during the night and she's always there, examining me, pressing the bandage to my forehead and face, worries in her eyes, but comforting smile on her face. She tries to tell me „You'll be all right. I won't let you die." and I'm sure she'll do everything to keep me alive.
When I wake up in the morning, I feel so much better. The fever is probably broken and my leg is not so painful now. I open my eyes to smile at Katniss, but she's not sitting next to me now. I look around and find out that she's not here. What if something happen to her? What if she's been injured? What if Cato and Clove killed her? I have to find out. I'm struggling a lot to get out of the sleeping bag and I'm just trying to sit up, when she comes in. Oh, thank God, she's okay.
"I woke up and you were gone," I say a little angrily "I was worried about you."
She laughs while she comes to me and lies me back down.
"You were worried about me? Have you taken a look at yourself lately?" she asks with amused sparkles in her eyes. I like her when she's smiling.
"I thought Cato and Clove might have found you. They like to hunt at night," I say seriously.
"Clove? Which one is that?" she asks.
"The girl from District Two. She's still alive, right?" I ask.
"Yes, there's just them and us and Thresh and Foxface," she says. Foxface? Who's that? "That's what I nicknamed the girl from Five. How do you feel?" she asks concerned look in her eyes.
"Better than yesterday. This is an enormous improvement over the mud," I say and give her a charming smile "Clean clothes and medicine and a sleeping bag..." I hesitate, but finally I decide to continue „ . . . and you."
She smiles slightly and reaches out with her hand. Caressing my cheek. It's so soft and beautiful. And it smells like berries. I catch it, stroke it tenderly and press it against my lips. It's so sweet. I can almost feel the taste of berries she was probably picking out there. I close my eyes and wish it could stay like this forever. But then she softly takes her hand back and I open my eyes to look at her sadly.
"No more kisses for you until you've eaten," she says strictly and I know she means it. I feel a little better so I can swallow the mashed berries she made. It's refreshing with that cold water. After that she offers me a groosling too, but I feel too full to eat it. When I look at her she looks tired and only now I realize that she had to be up all night.
"You didn't sleep," I say.
"I'm all right," she says bravely, but I'm not eating that up. She needs to sleep.
"Sleep now. I'll keep watch. I'll wake you if anything happens," I say, but she still hesitates. "Katniss, you can't stay up forever." I persuade her. And after a moment she finally agrees that I'm right.
"All right," she says "But just for a few hours. Then you wake me." she threatens me.
Then she smooths the sleeping bag on the ground, lays on it, but she still clutches her bow in one of her hands. I sit beside her, leaning against the wall, stretch my injured leg in front of me so I would have a good view over the entrance. She still seems worried though.
"Go to sleep," I say softly and smile at her.
If I could sing well, I would sing her a lullaby, but if I would do that I'm afraid she would run away. But I do something else. I take all my courage, extend my hand and brush loose strands of her hair from her face. She closes her eyes and as I continue to stroke her hair, she smiles slightly as she dozes off. She looks entirely different asleep. Her usual scowl is replaced by a slight smile and she looks calm which is surprising if you consider she's in the hunger games arena. I keep my hand on her head for a while, and then I play with her braid for a while. I just love her silky hair. And I love the way how it looks on sun. It's like glowing. It's so calm outside, that I don't want to wake her up. I have a bad feeling that I'm getting worse again. My leg hurts and it's very hot and I feel a little woozy again. She's sleeping soundly until afternoon. But when she wakes up, she's angry with me that I left her sleeping.
"Peeta, you were supposed to wake me after a couple of hours," she snaps.
"For what? Nothing's going on here," I say "Besides I like watching you sleep. You don't scowl. Improves your looks a lot." I smile at her. That makes her scowl, which makes me grin even wider. We're a weird couple. But then her anger changes into concern as she looks at me. She raises her hand and tastes my cheek.
„You were drinking, right?" she asks and gives me a strict look.
„I was!" I say in offensive voice. Only I was not drinking too much. And she recognizes that right in the moment she looks at the bottles. She gives me some pills for fever and she stands over me until I drink as much water as she wants. Then she tends about my burns and stings, which shows big improvement.
In the end she takes a deep breath and unwraps the wound on my leg. The moment she looks at it, I know it's not good. As she puts the bandage away, her eyes immediately reflect panic and despair. And when I look down at my leg, I know why. The wound seems much worse.
There's no more pus in evidence, but the swelling has increased and the tight shiny skin is inflamed. There are red streaks starting to crawl up my leg. That means blood poisoning. Unchecked, it will kill me in some time I'm sure. We'll need strong anti-infection drugs from the Capitol and I can't imagine how we could get them. They are far too expensive to be bought by sponsors.
"Well, there's more swelling, but the pus is gone," she says, trying to be convincing, but her unsteady voice and panic in her eyes betrays her.
"I know what blood poisoning is, Katniss," I say "Even if my mother isn't a healer."
"You're just going to have to outlast the others, Peeta. They'll cure it back at the Capitol when we win," she says and she doesn't even try to hide her desperation now. I'm sorry that I'm such a burden for her. She would have much more chances to win if she would leave me here.
"Yes, that's a good plan," I say trying to calm her down.
"You have to eat. Keep your strength up. I'm going to make you soup," she says determined to do something instead of sitting here and watching me die.
"Don't light a fire," I say scared of the possible consequences "It's not worth it."
"We'll see," she says stubbornly and goes out of the cave.
I lie back down and think about our options. I don't see any chance how I could survive this. She's away for a long time and I'm starting to get worse again. I'm weak, I'm shivering and the pain in my leg is pulsing in every second. I feel a little woozy too. I guess the fever is back.
After some time, she comes back with a worried face. She comes besides me and examines me. She goes back to cool bandages on my forehead and she looks more and more worried. I'm doing my best to look as good as I can, but it is a hard task in this state.
"Do you want anything?" she asks tentatively.
"No, Thank you." I say quietly, but suddenly an idea comes to my mind. „Wait, yes. Tell me a story." I smile at her. We both need something to cheer us up.
"A story?" She looks confused „What about?" she asks.
"Something happy. Tell me about the happiest day you can remember," I say and hope that it will help both of us.
She makes something between a sigh and a huff and thinks about it for a while.
"Did I ever tell you about how I got Prim's goat?" she asks. I shake my head, lie down and look her in the eyes, waiting for her happy story.
She told me a story about how she bought a goat for Prim. She says she sold a locket of her mother and got a lot of money. I guess she hunted something really good and get a lot of money, but she can't say that in front of all the Panem of course. She tells me how they went on a market with Gale and picked up a wounded goat for a great prize. The best part of her story is when she tells me how they got it home. How happy Prim was, that she was crying and laughing at the same time. She has such a happy expression on her face that it is enough for me to be happy. She continues telling me how they took care about her, picked some herbs and treated her leg. I can't help but remember how Katniss is treating my leg.
"They sound like you." I say quietly with a smile. She looks at me with an ironic smile.
"Oh, no, Peeta. They work magic. That thing couldn't have died if it tried" she jokes, but then I see worries in her eyes. Worries about me.
"Don't worry. I'm not trying," I joke. "Finish the story." I encourage her.
"Well, that's it. Only I remember that night, Prim insisted on sleeping with Lady on a blanket next to the fire. And just before they drifted off, the goat licked her cheek, like it was giving her a good night kiss or something," she says. "It was already mad about her."
"Was it still wearing the pink ribbon?" I ask. I can almost see the image in my head. I would love to draw it.
"I think so," she says "Why?"
"I'm just trying to get a picture," I say thoughtfully. "I can see why that day made you happy." I add with a smile.
"Well, I knew that goat would be a little gold mine," she says matter of fact. But I know better than that.
"Yes, of course I was referring to that, not the lasting joy you gave the sister you love so much you took her place in the reaping," I say dryly and give her a fake smile.
"The goat has paid for itself. Several times over," she says in a superior tone.
"Well, it wouldn't dare to do anything else after you saved its life," I say seriously "I intend to do the same thing." I joke.
"Really? What did you cost me again?" she asks a little annoyed.
"A lot of trouble. Don't worry. You'll get it all back," I say.
"You're not making sense," she says and tastes my forehead with her hand. "You're a little cooler though." she says but I can see worries coming up in her eyes. She's really a bad liar.
Then the sound of the trumpets startles us both. Katniss is on her feet and at the mouth of the cave in a flash, waiting for the announcement. Of course it is Claudius Templesmith and as it is usual in Huger Games he invites us for a feast.
„Attention tributes, attention! There will be a feast at Cornucopia!" Katniss already loses her interest and turns around to go back to me. We have enough food. But it is like he's speaking exactly to her.
"Now hold on. Some of you may already be declining my invitation. But this is no ordinary feast."
Katniss stops at this and waits for the rest.
„Each of you needs something" He says and there is a dramatic pause. „Desperately." I see the sparkle in Katniss's eyes as she's looks down at me. Hope. The medicine.
"Each of you will find that something in a backpack, marked with your district number, at the Cornucopia at dawn. Think hard about refusing to show up. For some of you, this will be your last chance," says Claudius. And that's it. Then there is only a dead silence. I know what is Katniss thinking about. I can see it in her eyes, already planning how she will get it. I extend my arm and grip her shoulder tightly.
„No." I say firmly. She's not going anywhere! „You're not risking your life for me!" I add firmly.
She looks at me and I can see it in her eyes.
"Who said I was?" she says, trying to sound casually.
"So, you're not going?" I ask suspiciously.
"Of course, I'm not going. Give me some credit. Do you think I'm running straight into some free-for-all against Cato and Clove and Thresh? Don't be stupid," she says and gets me back to the sleeping bag.
"I'll let them fight it out, we'll see who's in the sky tomorrow night and work out a plan from
there." she finishes, but I see that she's lying. Her eyes are betraying her. As usual.
"You're such a bad liar, Katniss. I don't know how you've survived this long." I say and mimic her lies "I knew that goat would be a little gold mine. You're a little cooler though. Of course, I'm not going." I shake my head
"Never gamble at cards. You'll lose your last coin," And immediately I have all of her anger on me. She's not trying to hide her intentions any more.
"All right, I am going, and you can't stop me!" she shouts and I'm sure the glare she's giving me could kill. Her eyes are cold and angry. But I won't be scared off by her. She's not going. Period!
"I can follow you. At least partway. I may not make it to the Cornucopia, but if I'm yelling your name, I bet someone can find me And then I'll be dead for sure," I say determinedly.
"You won't get a hundred yards from here on that leg," she argues.
"Then I'll drag myself," I continue "You go and I'm going, too." I say stubbornly.
"What am I supposed to do? Sit here and watch you die?" she's not angry anymore. Her anger has changed into desperation and she's almost crying now. She must care about me then.
"I won't die. I promise. If you promise not to go," I try to calm her. Even though I have no idea how I could keep this promise. For a moment she eyes me angrily, but I guess she doesn't want to argue any more.
"Then you have to do what I say. Drink your water, wake me when I tell you, and eat every bite of the soup no matter how disgusting it is!" she snaps at me and I promise to do so.
"Agreed. Is it ready?" I ask.
"Wait here," she says and goes out. She brings a pot of soup, which is not bad at all. I eat it, trying to look enthusiastic, happy and better then I actually feel. In the end she gives me some more fever medicine and goes out to wash the pot in the stream. After some time she comes back with the pot in her hands.
"I've brought you a treat. I found a new patch of berries a little farther downstream." she says with a happy smile. I don't know what is so good about it, but I'm glad she smiles.
So I obediently open my mouth to eat the berries. It was very good last time so why should I resist. As she puts the first spoonful into my mouth I know it is different than last time.
"They're very sweet." I say slowly. I still feel a little woozy from the fever.
"Yes, they're sugar berries. My mother makes jam from them. Haven't you ever had them before?" she asks while putting another spoonful into my mouth. Yes they're very sweet, but I can't shake the feeling that I tasted this in my life already. It's familiar taste.
"No," I say, almost puzzled. "But they taste familiar. Sugar berries?" I'm thinking hard about it, but in my woozy head I can't find it. But for some reason, I have a bad feeling about this.
"Well, you can't get them in the market much, they only grow wild," she says with another mouthful.
"They're sweet as syrup," I finally slowly realize, while taking the last spoonful. "Syrup." and right in that moment I get it. Syrup! The medicine from 12 which will make you sleep! She wants to make me sleep so she could go to the cornucopia! Damn it! That's when she claps her hand over my mouth and makes me swallow the rest of the berries which is still in my mouth. I want to vomit it out, but it's too late. My head is starting to get cloudy very quickly and I can't do anything. As my eyes close I can see the regret in her eyes and I dread the moment when I will wake up. She could be dead and I can't do anything about it. The last thing I remember is hearing her say
"Who can't lie, Peeta?" and then I lose my consciousness.